A Sealed Fate
by Skate95
Summary: She was his guardian and he was her charge. They had beaten their fate and she had kept him safe. But when she awakens from years of blissful sleep into the birth of a new war, can she still protect him? Can she still keep her promise? They found strength in each other before. Can they find that strength again?
1. Reality

**A/N- Hey, so this is my first fanfic so please be kind. First I gotta say, I love FFXIII. The story, characters, graphics, the whole shebang. FFXIII-2 really ruined it for me with that terrible ending. Add in the fact there was no HopexLight interaction at all and yeah, I was pretty disappointed. Anyway, enough ranting, this will be kind of my XIII-2. I adore HopexLight very much. I do hope they get some great interaction in XIII-3. In a dream world, I would wish for them to end up canon but I don't see it happening :( Sucky but this is how we cope, right? Thanks for reading!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or Square Enix. If I did FFXIII-2 would have been MUCH different. **

* * *

She was lost in a dream world. A world so much like her own, she hadn't known it was a dream. Everyone was there. She was with her sister, that she had fought so desperately to get back. She was with Snow, who still got on her nerves frequently, but made Serah happy. She was with Sazh and Dajh who had moved closer to them in Bodhum, unable to separate from them all. She was with Fang and Vanille, who decided to stay with their new family. She was with Hope and Bartholomew, who had also decided to stay in their town so Hope would remain close with them. She was even with the NORA gang, who she had admittedly grown attached to along with the rest of her family.

She hated to admit it, but she loved this new life she had with this dysfunctional new family. She loved who she had become. The Lightning that had steeled herself and her feelings, had melted away. Serah was all grown up and in good hands now. She didn't want or need that hard shell of a sister Lightning had become. The fighting was over and they lived in utter peace. Everyday was beautiful, filled with laughter and joy. Nothing changed and everyone was happy.

Until one day, she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. It was as if the wool had been pulled from her eyes. This peace and happiness was out of place. They were together, yes. They were happy, yes. But they were on Cocoon. The last thing she had known was that Cocoon had fallen, or was falling. And Vanille and Fang... they had gotten separated from them in the fall. How were they here now? When did they reunite with Hope's father? How did they find Serah & Dajh? _Something is wrong._ It was as if all of the previous passing days had been fake and now she was realizing the mistakes. Nothing changed. They were all the same age, as if time had stood still. Lightning curled her hands tightly into fists. So tightly her nails began to draw blood from her palms.

"Lightning?"

Lightning turned to see her sister with a concerned expression on her face. "Somethings wrong Serah." _I feel like I'm not supposed to be here. _Blood started dripping from her palm.

"Lightning, stop. Your hurting yourself."

Lightning looked down at her hands, only then did she start to feel the stabbing pain of the cuts. She looked up at Serah, about to speak when the world began to blur. She became cold, freezing in fact. She fell to her knees, grabbed her sides and tried to warm herself up, but it did no good. The cold seemed to seep into her bones. Her breathing quickened as her lungs struggled for air. She looked to her sister but she was gone. Lightning felt a pang of sorrow hit her. As confused as she had been before, she wasn't ready to give this happiness up. She focused on her breathing, trying to steady it but to no avail. It was as if her lungs had shrunk up and disappeared. Her body felt like it was a block of ice and she hit the ground with a thud. She tried to cry out but nothing came out of her mouth. Soon the blurry world around her disappeared in a flash.

* * *

The world came back into focus a few minutes later. The world she woke up in, was not the bright seaside town she was expecting, but a dimly lit room. As Lightning stood, dizziness washed over her. She reached out to hold something to steady herself. She gripped something solid and cold until she felt the room stop spinning. She realized then that she had been grasping someone's hand, a crystallized person's hand at that. She looked up to see that it belonged to Snow. He stood there encased in crystal. Lightning looked around the spacious room and saw others crystallized as well. A small, young boy, who she surmised was Dahj since he had an uncanny resemblance to Sazh, was about ten feet away. And Serah was in the center of the room.

"Serah", Lightning gasped, as she ran toward her. She was just like the others, and Lightning deduced, was just like she had been moments ago, crystallized and dreaming. _So that's what it was. I was in crystal stasis. Dreaming away as time passed by. So the hazy vision, frozen feeling, and loss of breath was just me reentering reality. _Lightning growled. She was tired of all this l'cie business. She thought she had finally been rid of it, only to wake up and find that it was all in her head. Lightning gasped at a thought. _My brand. She_ pulled down the zipper of her shirt and saw that the brand, that had plagued her existence and endangered herself and her friends, while at the same time connected her to a new family, was no longer there. The eyesore tattoo had vanished. To prove this Lightning scratched at the brand's previous spot for good measure. _It's really gone. But how long have I..._ At that thought Lightning surveyed the room.

_Where is Hope, Sazh, Vanille & Fang? Did they already wake up? Wait, where am I?_ Lightning continued to look around the area. She noticed a camera on the ceiling in the left corner. Other than that it was a bare metal room. There was one door in the right corner a few paces away. She stepped toward it but stopped. She turned to look at Snow and Dahj. Then she gave a longing look at Serah. _I don't want to leave you but I have to figure out where we are._ She turned back to Serah and clasped her hands over Serah's. _I'll come back for you. All of you. _

With that she ran to the door. Lightning looked through the small window in the door and saw nothing but a dimly lit hallway. She grabbed the door handle, expecting it to be locked, and was surprised when it opened with ease. _Okay, well I guess we weren't imprisoned. But- _It was dead quiet but Lightning heard footsteps drawing near. By the sound of it, it was only a single person. Lightning went for her gunblade, and was relieved to have it at her side. It felt that it been ages since she had last used her weapon, but at the same, like it was only yesterday that it was slicing into Orphan.

The footsteps were approaching from around a corner. She needed a plan. _Do I quickly grab them and demand answers? No what if it's a civilian and I only succeed in threatening an innocent person? Do I act like I'm lost and casually ask them where I am? Gage it from there? No, what if it is a soldier and I end up getting arrested? I could just go back into the room. No that solves nothing, I'll come across someone sooner or later. The_ person rounded the corner and was wringing their hands, watching them intently. He was about thirty feet away. _He hasn't noticed me yet. He has a gun so I assume it's a soldier but I definitely don't recognize the uniform. Where am I? When am I?_

The soldier looked up and drew up his gun from his side. Lightning gripped her gunblade tighter. "Identification please? What is your rank and business?" The soldier looked her up and down. Lightning though, was still struggling with her decision. "I said Identifi-"

"Of course. Sorry I was just a little caught up in my thoughts", stated Lightning. She reached toward her pocket and watched as the soldier started to lower his weapon. In a flash, Lightning drew her gunblade and knocked the gun out of the soldiers hands. She pinned him to the wall, with her gunblade at his throat. The soldier trembled slightly as the blade pressed deeper into his neck.

"Where am I? What is this place", Lightning growled.

The soldier gave her a confused look but stopped when the blade began to cut into skin. "I-it's t-the... Academy Base. R-Resear-Research and Operations-s.", stuttered the soldier.

"Academy base? Wha-" _Well I guess that answers where... sort of._ "What's the year."

At that the soldier gave her an incredulous look. "I-It's 6AF. How do you not know the year? Who are you?"

Lightning was far too lost in her thoughts to care about the soldiers questions. 6_AF? What the hell does that... wait... it couldn't mean... _Lightning's shoulders tensed at the thought. "What is AF?"

The soldier's eyebrows scrunched up immensely at that question. Not knowing where you are, okay. Not knowing the year, weird. But not knowing AF? His thoughts were quickly interrupted by the blade pressing further, yet again into his throat. "It m-mean-ns after fall. As in after the fall of Cocoon."

_Then it is. It's really been six years since I- _Blaring alarms began to sound throughout the building cutting Lightning from her thoughts. "What is that?"

"I think it's about you", the soldier simply stated, a small smile appearing on his face. He tilted his head slightly, gesturing to the camera in the ceiling.

"Damn." Just as the word flew from her mouth, she heard running footsteps and shouting down both sides of the hallway.

"You should really just give up and surrender. Your not going to get out of here alive If you-"

She drew her gunblade back and slammed the hilt down on his head, knocking him unconscious. _Please, if the rest of the soldiers around here are like you, excuse me for not cowering at their feet. _Not a moment later, did four soldiers come up in front of her, and three rounded a corner coming up behind. _Hmph, not a problem._ Lightning smiled ready for a fight. As she prepared to lunge for her first target, she felt a stinging sensation in her neck. She reached toward it with her left hand and pulled out a miniscule dart. _A tranquillizer? You've gotta be kidding me. _It hit her like a truck. A giant wave of dizziness and nausea washed over her. Her body became exhausted. She looked down to the floor as she fell to her knees. She then collapsed to the ground, her gunblade flopping to her side. Her lids became far to heavy to keep open, so she closed her eyes letting sleep take over her again. _Why can't it be over? Why can't it ever be over?_


	2. Reunion

Lightning awoke with a start. She went to get up but felt dizziness hit her yet again. As she brought a hand to her forehead, she heard a familiar voice.

"Hey take it easy soldier girl." Lightning looked up to see none other than Sazh. He put a hand to her shoulder pressing her back down to the couch. He looked almost exactly the same as she remembered him, his fro maybe a bit bushier.

"I can't believe someone else's finally awake. O'course it would'a been nice if you'd woken up durin' the day so someone could'a seen ya. Avoidin' this 'ole mess." Sazh looked down at Lightning, remembering just how disoriented he had been after waking up. _But at least there was someone there to explain things to me. _

"Where am I? What happened?" Lightning looked around the room. She was on a luxurious couch in a quite impressive office.

"No how ya do's? Right to business then", Sazh said smiling. Lightning sat up, ready for an explanation. "All right well I best be gettin' someone first. Might as well hear it from one of the more higher ups. And from someone your a bit closer to." Sazh winked at this and Lightning shot him a glare. "Now calm down, I have some business to be finishin' anyway but I'll be seein' ya soon. You can count on that." Sazh began to walk toward the door.

Lightning jumped up from her seat and grabbed Sazh's shoulder. "How about you start explaining some things first Sazh. Then you can go." He looked back at her with a crooked grin.

"Trust me Lightning, it's better from him."

Lightning's grip slid form his shoulder. "It's better from who?" Lightning glared at Sazh until his smile disappeared. Before Sazh could respond, his comm went off.

Sazh sighed and answered his comm. "Hello... No who authorized that...I'm trying t-... I'll be over there in a flash." At that Sazh shut off his comm and glanced at Lightning. She was standing with her arms crossed in front of her, looking like she was ready to shoot him if he didn't give her some answers. "Alright I know patience ain't your strong suit but I really gotta head out. Just wait here. I promise you'll get those answers." With that Sazh took off out the door.

Lightning made to run after him but stopped. "Tch, figures. I finally find someone and they run off." _It's good to see him though. But who the hell was he talking about anyway? One of the more higher ups... someone your a bit closer to... and what was that wink about? "_Whatever." Lightning went back to the couch, picked up her gunblade that had been leaned against it, and holstered it. _Well seeing as I wouldn't know my way around, I might as well stay. It's Sazh anyway, I trust him right? But I'm going to have to remind him of who he's dealing with next time. Ordering me around? Tch. _

Lightning looked around the room. It was a pretty spacious office. There were three bookcases filled with books, many of them technical manuals and history books, covering most of the right wall. On the left side of the room, there was a table with many small gadgets and mechanical pieces that lay strewn across it. And at the far side of the room was a desk, kept up rather well. Lightning walked over to it. There was a computer in it's center with a large stack of papers on the left and one framed picture on the right. Lightning picked up the picture. It had three men all posed in front of a building. Lightning recognized two of the men. The one in the middle was Bartholomew, who looked exactly the same except he didn't have on his glasses. The man to his left was Rygdea. _I thought he had turned cieth. Well so did we. _He also looked exactly the same. But the man on the right of the picture Lightning was sure she didn't know, but he looked extremely familiar. Lightning just couldn't place it.

She put the picture down and walked back over to the couch. She stood, crossing her arms and waited, staring at the door. After about five minutes Lightning sighed. _So I'm awake. It's not like I expected a parade or anything, but I kinda would like to know what the hell is going on. _Lightning closed her eyes and remembered her dream world in crystal stasis. Although she knew now that it hadn't been real, she missed it. It had been the simple life with her family she felt she had earned. Lightning began to wonder if she wouldn't prefer that reality to this one.

Lightning was so caught up in her thoughts, she hadn't seen or heard anyone come up beside her. She felt a hand on her shoulder and was jerked from her thoughts. In the blink of an eye, Lightning grabbed the man's wrist and pulled it behind his back, sweeping her gunlade up and under his chin. The man tried to speak, "Wait I-"

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" Lightning brought the gunblade closer to his neck.

"Well seeing as your in my office, why wouldn't I be in here? I heard you wanted to talk Light."

Lightning let the man go but kept her weapon ready to strike. The man composed himself and turned around. It was the man in the picture that had seemed familiar. _So it very well could be his office. _He was a few inches taller than her, with a lanky build and was wearing a white, blue and yellow uniform. He had silver hair and green eyes that made Lightning swear she new him. His voice even sounded familiar.

"You don't recognize me, do you", asked the man, with a hurt expression on his face. It was that expression, with those puppy dog eyes, that seemed to hit Lightning in the face with the answer. _Hope? But your so... Well apparently it has been six years. But when did you wake up?_

A flash of recognition seemed to pass through Lightning's eyes but she just stood there, mouth agape. Hope walked toward her hesitantly. "Light?" Just as Hope was about to place a hand on her shoulder, Lightning swept him into a hug. A hug that reminded him so much of the one in Palumpolum years ago. He wrapped his arms around her waist. "It's good to see you too, Light."

Lightning pulled away, hands still resting on his shoulders, and looked him up and down. "It's you but your so.."

"Old", guessed Hope, chuckling softly. She was still looking him over, causing Hope to blush slightly.

She couldn't believe she hadn't recognized him. He was much taller, and had thinned out with some slight muscle, losing the last of his baby fat. His face was longer with a strong jaw line. His hair was a bit longer but still silver. And those eyes. How could she not remember those eyes? After a few awkwardly silent moments, Lightning punched him in the arm.

"Ow, what was that for", asked Hope, rubbing his arm. _She didn't hold back either._

Lightning glared at him. "That was for making me wait. And..." Lightning punched him again in the same spot after his other arm left it. "That's for growing up."

Hope winced and rubbed his arm again. Then he smiled at her statement. "Jeez Light, I'm sorry. I was in a meeting. I came as soon as Sazh got a hold of me." He walked over to the couch and gestured for her to sit beside him. _As long as she's not going to hit me again. _Lightning walked over and sat down. "As for the growing up part... well couldn't be helped I guess." Hope rubbed the back of his neck. "It is really great to see you Light, even if I get a bruised arm out of the deal." Hope smiled at her still not believing that she had finally awoken. _It feels like it's been forever and now... no. So not the time. _"So, I'm sure you have some questi-"

"When did you wake up?" Lightning looked at Hope tentatively. _He couldn't be more than twenty._

Hope looked down at the ground and then back at Lightning's hard gaze. "About a year after the fall. I was the first to wake up."

"And Sazh?"

"He woke up four years after, three years after me. The chocobo was still in his hair so it got crystallized too." Hope chuckled briefly. "I can't believe how big it is now, after just a couple years." Lightning smiled at the thought of that little chick sprouting into full growth. Much like the Hope before her.

Hope never forgot her smile, since it was such a rare occasion he got to see it, and he relished in the one before him now.

"What about Vanille and Fang?" At that, Hope's smile faded. He looked down at his hands. "What", asked Lightning, concern creeping into her voice. "They aren't..."

Hope looked up, "They are crystallized too but..."

"But what?"

"They stopped Cocoon from falling." Hope looked back down to the floor and stood at the thought. "They became Ragnarok and crystallized Cocoon. It created a crystal pillar that holds it up. They're inside that pillar." Hope sighed and looked at Lightning. She shared his concerned look. _If Vanille and __Fang woke up, would that mean the end of Cocoon and all still inside? _

Lightning looked at Hope's troubled expression and decided to move away from the topic. "So, this is your office? You must be pretty important", said Lightning dryly.

Hope smiled again and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, you could say that."

"What is this place anyway? The Academy?"

"It's the new government around here. Pretty much replaced the Sanctum. This is the base. You woke up in the Research and Operations sector." Hope bit his lip. "Sorry about the guards and the tranquillizer by the way." Hope looked at her hesitantly.

"Yeah that was fun." Lightning looked up at Hope's sheepish expression and rolled her eyes. _Looks like some things never change._

"Anyway, after the fall, and after they built up much of the new settlement, they created the Academy. Many of the people that had been evacuated or purged before the fall live here in Academia."

"Many?" Lightning furrowed her brow at Hope's harsh expression.

_She really doesn't miss a thing. Same old Light. _"There is another settlement run by whats left of the Sanctum." Lightning growled, causing Hope to smile. "I know. It's filled with people who still don't trust us, l'Cie I mean. They refused to have anything to do with us or any of the purge victims. Instead they created their own colony and I don't know how..." Hope sighed, "but they work with another Fal'Cie and-

"What?" Lightning stood. "How? Why would anyone want to-" Lightning huffed and raked her hands through her hair. "After everything that's happened."

"And _that_ is exactly why we don't trust it. But it provides them with power and they...", Hope trailed off, looking off to the corner. Lightning walked over to him and lifted his chin to make his gaze meet hers. A blush crept up over Hope's cheeks. After a few moments of silence, Hope continued, "Anyway that's pretty much what all this is." Hope gestured to the room. "We are mostly rebuilding and after our first big step of crafting our own power, we jumped on other projects. Sent ships to find more purge settlements and brought them back. Even after so many years, we managed to find one just a few months ago." Hope looked back at Lightning but she was staring off into the distance.

_All this time, I've been dreaming away while Hope and everyone else were having to deal with real problems. I should have been here. Why wouldn't I wake up?_

"Light?" Just as Hope stirred Lightning from her thoughts, a knock sounded from the door. "Yes." They looked back to the door as a woman pushed it open.

"Director, don't tell me you forgot about the meeting? About your proposal for the-"

"Right, sorry Alyssa." Hope looked down to the floor solemnly, then back at Lightning with a smile on his face. "I got a little carried away. You probably want to clean up right? I know when I woke up I really wanted a shower. And your probably hungry. Well uh... this is Alyssa Zaidelle, my assistant." He gestured back at Alyssa. "Alyssa this is Lightning Farron." Alyssa seemed to perk up at that.

"Really, I heard another woke up last night." Alyssa walked over and held her hand out. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Right." Lightning shook her hand.

Hope started walking backwards toward the door. "So Alyssa, would you mind showing Light to her temporary room?"

"Of course Director", Alyssa replied with a smile.

Hope looked to Lightning. "It's right by Sazh's so don't worry if you have any questions. I'll see you later, alright Light?" With that he was out the door.

"So", started Alyssa. "That just leaves you and me." Alyssa giggled "I can't imagine how this must be for you. I mean six years, but with stasis, it must seem like just yesterday you all took down Orphan?"

_Yay she's chipper. Very, very chipper. _She looked at Alyssa and realized she was waiting for a reply. "Yeah pretty much." _Sort of._

They began to walk out of Hope's office and down the corridors. "Well it is wonderful to meet you. I've heard so much about you and the l'Cie adventures."

_Adventures huh? Well that's one word for it._

"The Director says you pretty much saved his life. He said that if you hadn't toughened him up, he would have been eaten alive." Alyssa smiled at Lightning, but she just looked down at the ground.

_Really? I guess so-_

Alyssa didn't wait for a response. "Anyway your room isn't too far away. We had them built for when you all woke up so you'd have a temporary place to stay, until we could find you a more permanent residence that is."

"But I thought Sazh woke up a couple years ago?"

"That's right", said Alyssa bouncing on her heels.

Lightning tried to ignore her cheery demeanor. "So then why is he still living here?"

Alyssa's expression tensed a bit but she managed to keep her smile. "I don't have much interaction with Mr. Katzroy but from what I've heard it's because of his son... staying close to him and all. You know?"

"Right." Lightning looked back down to the ground. "So who runs this place anyway? Some old Primarch like Dysley? If that's the case then I'd rather stay a crystal."

Alyssa giggled. "No silly", Alyssa chirped. "He didn't tell you?" She looked over to Lightning with a furrowed brow.

"What?"

"Our fearless leader", said Alyssa erupting in another fit of giggles, "is Director Estheim of course."


	3. Possibility

**A/N: So, I've recently found myself with an abundance of time to write, but I'm also trying to make my chapters a tad longer. Still updates, for the next few weeks anyways, shouldn't be too far apart. I'm very grateful to all of you for reading my story and supporting me in my writing. Reviews are definitely not necessary but very much appreciated. I've posted my own stories on my blog before, but since this is my first fanfic, a little input goes a long way. Thanks :)**

* * *

Lightning stopped dead in her tracks. "As in Hope?"

Alyssa abruptly spun on her heel as her smile grew. "I'm surprised he didn't tell you, but it would be hard to get out six years of information in just a few minutes." Alyssa began bouncing on her heels again.

_In six years, okay five, Hope changed from... well he did change a lot during those last weeks but... to become a leader of a new society? _

Alyssa brought a hand to her chin, tilting her head slightly as she looked at Lightning. Lightning's face was impassive but she was staring at the floor. "Something wrong?" Alyssa looked concerned.

Lightning shook her head. The perky assistant turned and continued walking, Lightning following after. "Isn't he a bit young", asked Lightning.

Alyssa fell back into step beside her. "Yes he is exceptionally young for his position, but he really does deserve it. And he does a fine job of leading everyone. He's very popular and is admired by many." Alyssa brought a hand to her chin. "He's extremely sweet... but of course you know that." Alyssa looked down bashfully & hummed.

Lightning gave her a sidelong glance, detecting something.

"He joined the Academy right after it was founded by Bartholomew Estheim and Rygdea in 2AF", stated Alyssa. "Much like me, he flew through the ranks, he was already practically leading it before he even took over. But he became Director last year due to... unfortunate and unforeseeable events." Alyssa's smile seemed to shrink.

"What happened?"

Alyssa's pace slowed. "Well after the creation of the Academy, Bartholomew Estheim was the Director. Rygdea didn't want any part in the government, so he works alongside General Amodar. They lead the Calvary and Guardian Corps."

Lightning put a hand on Alyssa's shoulder "Amodar? As in-"

Alyssa gave a toothy smile, "That's right. You were under his command back before the fall. He talks about you too. At least when I've been around him." Alyssa snickered. "The Calvary mainly surveys pulse, mapping it out and also rescues surviving purge settlements. The Guardian Corps. helps protect the citizens of Academia... Anyway", a solemn expression captured Alyssa's face once again,"Bartholomew Estheim was a great leader but when there was an assassination attempt on Hope's life-"

Lightning stopped again. "What, by who?"

Alyssa looked around briefly. "By the Sanctum settlement", she whispered. "It was never proven but... that was where all the breadcrumbs lead to. In the exchange though, three men were killed along with Bartholomew."

Lightning's eyes grew wide as her lips parted. _He lost his father too. _

Alyssa continued walking. She stopped a few feet forward and turned back around when she noticed Lightning hadn't moved. Lightning looked up and started walking again.

Alyssa continued. "After the incident the position was left to Hope. Although, I know he was a bit reluctant to accept it."

_I bet._

"Here we are. I do hope you find the room accommodating to your needs. Mr. Katzroy's room is right here." Alyssa ran a hand on the front of the door across the hall. "Here is your key." Alyssa handed Lightning her key card and turned on her heel to leave. She spun around abruptly causing Lightning to jump. "Oh and I almost forgot." Alyssa put a hand to her forehead. "There is a communicator for you by the phone. My number is already in it, along with the Director's and Mr. Katzroy's. Be sure to give me a ring if you need anything." With that, Alyssa waved and left.

Lightning stood there, letting all the information sink in. After a few moments she entered her room. It was a cozy place with a small kitchen and dining area. A couch and TV signified the living room. And two rooms were off on the left as the bathroom and bedroom. It seemed like more of a small apartment rather than a temporary room. Lightning walked over to the side table and placed her key card next to the phone and communicator.

Lightning dropped onto the couch sighing. _So much has happened while I was off in la la land. Why did it have to be Hope that woke up first? Why did he have to be saddled with so much responsibility while we all slept the time away? He'd already been forced to grow up so much after his mother died... and then to wake up with none of us there. Well at least he had his father but.._Lightning let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose. _To lose him too? And like that is just... he can't catch a break. _Lightning reflected back to her encounter with Hope. _He seems to have changed so much. Of course puberty and running a city will do that. I can't get over how grown he is though. _Lightning sat up. _I'm glad Sazh is here too. I'm definitely grateful I wasn't the first to wake up although, I would have preferred it to Hope. _Lightning got up and looked out the window. Six years seemed like such a small time frame to build a city but they did it. It was filled with buildings and people all hustling through everyday life.

Lightning's mind slipped into it's days in crystal stasis. She had been surrounded by all of those loving and caring people, surrounded by such warmth, that she missed it terribly. _I finally had everyone back. I finally had her back. Only to wake up and find that she's still in that damned crystal. _Lightning huffed, fury flying through her, she picked up the lamp on the side table and hurled it towards the opposite wall. It had shattered on contact and Lightning fell against the wall. _I can't... why? _It was a question she felt had never truly been answered. Why they all had to deal with so much, time and time again. _And I refuse to accept that it's destiny, fate or whatever. _After a few moments of deep breathing, Lightning got up and went to take a shower.

A good twenty minutes later, Lightning went to the closet which held a few Academy uniforms that looked awfully like Alyssa's. _Yay. _And a few Guardian Corps. uniforms just like her own. Lightning smiled and slipped a uniform on. Just after, there was a knock on the door.

"One moment", Lightning yelled as she rushed to the door. She peeked out the peep whole to see Sazh waiting. She pulled open the door. "Hey Sazh."

"Lightning, it's great to see ya, when I'm not runnin' this way and that o'course. Care to join me in the mess hall for lunch?"

As grateful as Lightning was to see Sazh and have him there, she really didn't feel up for much socializing. Especially around a bunch of other soldiers and workers in the mess. _And if they're all like Alyssa... _

Sazh chuckled at Lightnings hard gaze. "Well, what'll it be soldier? An old man man could use some fresh company" said Sazh enthusiastically. "These worker bees are great and all but I'd rather have lunch with an old friend."

Lightning rolled her eyes. "Your not that old Sazh." She walked back into the room, snatched up her key card and communicator, ignored the shattered lamp on the floor, _I'm glad Sazh can't see that from the doorway, _and walked out.

"Well alright, let's have ourselves a little welcome back party."

Lightning glared at Sazh, "Let's not go that far. But it beats wandering around aimlessly. I definitely am not going to sleep. I've rested enough for a lifetime."

Sazh snickered, "Yeah I know exactly how ya feel. Only when I woke up, I had five soldiers on me in two minutes. All tellin' me to stay calm, things were safe and I had nothin' to worry about." Sazh shook his head. "I wouldn'ta been worryin' if they hadn'ta been pointin' weapons in my face. I was ready for a fight , but the moment I saw all y'all, and Dahj, I surrendered. Found myself talking to a Director Estheim. Said he was Hope's father. Gotta say..." Sazh rubbed the back of his head. "They look nothin' alike."

Lightning chuckled," Yeah no kidding."

"I told him that too. He said the kid took after his mom really. And uh... well..." Sazh's smile faded. "Well then after a bit of explainin' about this new world", Sazh's smile reappeared," in strolls the kid himself and dear Maker, even two years ago the kid didn't look like a kid anymore", Sazh said excitedly. "Kid's a man now."

Lightning snorted, "Yeah, it's hard to miss." _Couldn't even recognize him._

When they reached the mess, Sazh showed Lightning to a table, his usual spot he called it, and went to get them lunch. Lightning tried to tell him she could get it herself, but Sazh insisted. Left to herself for a few minutes, Lightning looked around the hall. It seemed that all eyes were on her. People were looking over their shoulders, staring across tables, and most certainly were saying things about her. _Great, how do I always manage to attract attention. It's like I'm a celebrity around here. Although to be fair they probably don't meet many reawakened l'Cie. Especially not ones who brought down the government... and their home... and probably crystallized many of their loved ones... okay just stop._

As if on cue, a man sat in front of her. He had shaggy blonde hair, blue eyes and was wearing blue coveralls, with silver and orange goggles on his head. Lightning vaguely remembered him to be a part of the NORA gang.

Even though they had all been in her crystal dreams, she really only interacted with Lebreau and Gadot, seeing as she knew them the most before.

He looked at her with an eager gaze, like he was waiting for her to speak up.

Lightning sighed, "It's Maqui... right?"

Maqui grinned. "Sure is. I wasn't sure you'd remember me. It's so cool to see another one of you guys walking around."

_Why do I feel like a dog that just showed off a trick? Like I had been able to walk around and just opted not to?_

"So you like the place? It's no Cocoon, but who needs it", said Maqui as he shoveled mashed potatoes in his mouth.

Lightning wasn't sure what to make of the man. He had a very boyish personality.

"Here ya go", said Sazh as he slid the tray in front of Lightning. Sazh sat beside her and nodded toward Maqui.

"Heya."

"How'd the proposal go", asked Sazh.

"It went great actually. Should have it up and running in a month or so", Maqui exclaimed. He gestured emphatically, accidentally flinging mashed potatoes on the table, but continued. "Hope's plan really is terrific, and with some fine tuning from me of course, it'll be ready to go in no time."

The conversation peeked Lightning's interest at the mention of Hope. _Alyssa did say something about him having a proposal._ "Proposal for what", asked Lightning, trying to pass it off as a mild interest.

Sazh went to speak but was curtly cut off by Maqui. "It's basically a shield. We've been having many monster attacks, and since we're basically in their territory, it's not like we could have expected anything different, but it's gotten worse. The Guardian Corps. can only do so much you know?" Lightning raised a brow, causing Maqui to hesitate slightly. "Right well... The monsters are making it further into the cities everyday. There were two more civilian deaths just last week due to a pack of Lobos. Anyway Hope came up with a shield invention that seems very promising. I'm excited to help out with it too. I mean..." Maqui looked at Sazh with amusement, "I love workin' on your ships and all Sazh, and all the small gadgets I put together ain't nothing either but... I don't know. This seems more purposeful you know?" Maqui shoved the last of his food down his throat.

"Hey kid, why don't you slow down a bit there, and use the teeth the maker gave ya?"

Maqui rolled his eyes. "Yeah, Yeah grandpa." Maqui smiled at Sazh's pause. "Sorry but I gotta get to work if I wanna get off early. I'm meeting up with Lebreau at the bar."

Sazh gave Maqui an all knowing look. "Lebreau huh?"

Maqui didn't take the bait. "Whatever Sazh. I'll see ya later Lightning. It was good to see you again." Lightning nodded toward him as he left.

After the brief lull in conversation, the soldier turned toward Sazh. "So, what do you do around here anyway?"

"Well I'm a pilot. I do what pilots do best." Sazh winked. "I fly." He chuckled briefly. "I work with the Calvary on their many missions. I'm actually due to fly out on a mission tomorrow. It's highly classified and even I don't know where we're goin' 'til I report in, in the mornin'."

Lightning nodded. "What do you think I'm going to do?"

"Well your our soldier girl right? Your gonna do what soldiers do best right?" Sazh looked to Lightning.

"I guess."

Sazh furrowed his brow and put a hand on Lightning's shoulder. "What's up? You look a little down."

_I feel so out of place here. _Lightning yawned. "It's nothing, just feeling a bit off I guess. I think I'll go back to the room."

Sazh wasn't convinced but Lightning was never the type of person to open up much. "Well alright. I got some last minute things I gotta get done before I head out in the morning. But hey it was great seein' ya... and you should really find Hope. Kid's probably runnin' himself ragged, as always, but I'm sure he'll spare some time for a certain soldier." Sazh patted her on the back and took off before Lightning could react.

Lightning glared after Sazh. She got up and put up her tray. She looked around unsure of where to go. Thanks to her training, she had memorized the way from Hope's office to her room, and from her room to the mess but she really didn't feel like going back to her room and she wasn't sure she'd find Hope in his office. She pulled out her communicator and called Hope. When he didn't answer she opted to calling Alyssa. _Man, I would love to punch someone right now. Never thought I'd actually miss having that big oaf around. _

"Hey Miss Farron, may I help you with something?"

"Call me Lightning. Um... I was just wondering where Hope would be? I needed to speak with him about something, and he isn't answering his communicator."

"Oh, just give me a sec", Alyssa replied cheerfully. "He's in room 402 in the Research and Operations Sector. There are maps by the stairwells and elevators but if you'd like, I could send an officer to escort you."

Lightning glanced at a map a few paces away from her. "No that won't be necessary. Thanks for the help."

"Oh anytime, Mi- Lightning. Let me know if I can help you with anything else."

Lightning hung up and went to the elevator. _Alright 'Director'. You better have a good excuse for not picking up. _

Ten minutes later, Lightning managed to find Room 402. _It's the room we were stored in. The room I woke up in. _Lightning opened the door. She stepped inside and let the door fall shut behind her. Hope was standing in front of Snow, staring intently at the burly man, lost in thought. She had to admit even from this distance and angle, he was pretty attractive. _No. This is Hope your talking about. Get a grip Farron. _Knocking those thoughts away and barring them from her mind, Lightning cleared her throat, to make her presence known.

Hope, jolting from his thoughts, looked over to Lightning. He blinked rapidly and went to speak, but Lightning beat him to the punch.

"You know, if you keep staring at Snow like that, I'm going to have to assume you've got a thing for my sister's fiance," Lightning said dryly. As the corners of her lips twitched upwards, she walked over to him.

Hope laughed. "Well he is ruggedly handsome." Lightning raised a brow. "How long were you there anyway?"

Lightning shrugged. "Not long." Lightning, reaching up for once, poked Hope in the forehead. "You didn't answer your communicator, so I had to hunt for you." _It's going to take me some time to get used to your new height._

Hope blinked his eyes at the touch. _Well, that was unexpected. It's been awhile, Light. I've __really missed you._ "Really? Aw I'm sorry Light. I've had it on silence since the meeting."

"Oh really", Lightning deadpanned. "I heard it went well."

Hope turned to Lightning with a confused gaze.

"Sazh and I ran into Maqui in the mess", Lightning simply stated. An understanding expression washed over his face. _Glad I can still read you like a book. _

"Yeah. He's very enthused about the whole deal. I mean I am too but... I have other projects to work on as well." Hope glanced back at the other crystallized forms. "Hey Light?"

Lightning hummed in response.

Hope gave her a docile smile. "What was your stasis like?"

Lightning walked over to Serah and placed a hand on her crystal. It brought her comfort to know Serah was there, crystallized or not. She could understand Sazh's sentiment about staying in the building. "Nothing fancy. It was just us. All of us together in Bodhum, as if the fall had never happened. It was peaceful." Lightning looked back at Hope. "Why?"

"It's nothing." Hope looked back down to the floor in deep thought.

Lightning walked over to him and stood, waiting for him to meet her gaze. She hadn't realized before, but he had deep circles under his eyes. Like he hadn't slept in days. _Maker Hope, you need some serious rest. _Lightning felt extremely concerned for his current state but could see Hope had something to get off his chest."Obviously it's not nothing if your this lost in your thoughts."

Hope smiled. _Should I? I don't want to get her hopes up about her sister. But she's never been too optimistic before, so maybe it won't matter. Maybe she'll just laugh it off like Rygdea initially had. _"I've been researching crystal stasis and the Maker. Pretty much for the past two months I've been spending my spare time in libraries, combing through books until I found one that gave me an idea. An outrageous and unbelievable one, but a slightly possible one at that." Hope looked up at Lightning. She was staring at him intently, making him a bit uneasy.

_Those eyes, were they always this intense? Stop it. Stay focused. _"Yes", said Lightning trying to recover. She decided that maybe looking at Hope wasn't the best, so she turned back to Serah.

_Here goes. _"There may be a way for us to wake those in crystal stasis."


	4. Prophecy

**A/N: Yay, another chapter hot off the press. It's much shorter than I anticipated but I felt it was a great place to leave off. The main plot line of the story kind of kicks off here and I'm very anxious to hear your thoughts about it. Hope you like! :)**

* * *

Lightning walked around the perimeter just outside Academia, scanning the area. It was only her second day out of stasis but she had needed something to do. So that morning she had gone to Amodar to go back to work.

He grinned at her as she walked into his office. He said he'd heard that she had woken up and knew it was only a matter of time before she would report in, ready for duty. He had told her that she should take a week, spend some time getting used to the new surroundings. Maybe she should train some, before going out in the field. Lightning, respectfully, told him that she didn't need any extra training; she was just as sharp as she had been before the fall. Amodar was unconvinced. So her morning started with a few training exercises, that went by rather quickly, and then a couple one-on-one matches with some of his "best soldiers" available at the time. She had to admit, she had gotten a tad rusty. The first few minutes of her first battle, left her a bit panic stricken that she may lose. She quickly recovered however, regaining her usual speed and agility. The second battle went by with much more ease. At this, Amodar was satisfied. He gave her a new uniform, that was basically the same style but with a black and silver color scheme, and sent her out on guard duty, leaving her to walk the perimeter for the remainder of the day.

It had been hot and muggy for the most part with little monster activity, causing Lightning to retreat into her thoughts. She reflected on her conversation with Hope the previous day.

_"There may be a way for us to wake those in crystal stasis."_

* * *

Those words hit Lightning hard. It had only been a day, so the true gravity of her sister's crystallization hadn't hit her yet. Before, they thought all they had to do was beat their focus and she would wake up. Not that it would end up resulting in their crystallization as well. _The reality is, it could be anywhere between tomorrow and centuries from now. _

After he had said it, he let the words sink in. He stood there, carefully watching Lightning's movements.

Lightning just stared at Serah's face. She turned toward him, face utterly impassive, and asked him how.

"I haven't been able to prove it yet, but that's what Rygdea and Sazh are venturing to do tomorrow. I-", Hope stopped abruptly and looked at Lightning. She had put a hand on Serah's cheek. There was such vulnerability in her eyes that Hope didn't want to continue. He hadn't seen that look since Serah had first turned crystal.

Lightning looked back up at him, sensing his hesitation. She nodded for him to continue, but he just looked away.

"Maybe this should wait for another time. When we're sure-"

"No." Hope looked back up as Lightning's eyes bored into him. Her icy stare, was locked on him with determination and impatience. "You don't get to say something like that and just retreat. Spit it out."

Hope's hand shakily went to his shoulder, rubbing it slightly, he took a tentative step forward but thought better of it. "I really shouldn't have said anything. There's nothing concrete to back it up and I-I just... It's really just a theory based on a few months of research."

Lightning calmed her thoughts and steeled her expression before walking back toward Hope. "It was enough to send a team out, right?"

Hope heaved a heavy sigh and turned away. "It's only because we don't have anything else to go on. It's really this or the alternative of waiting for who knows how long."

Lightning wanted to hit him, force his explanation out. But it would definitely not turn out in her favor. Instead she gently grabbed his shoulders and turned him toward her. "I'd like to know", said Lightning calmly.

Hope bit his lip. _Damn it. I knew I should have kept it to myself. _"I found a book in ancient Pulsian language", Hope began. "I had read though dozens of books before it and had come up with the same line, over and over again. I must have read it in at least six books. It seemed so familiar but I just couldn't place it until I finally remembered. It was something that Orphan had said." Lightning's eyes darkened. "'_From shattered shards, a new crystal legend will arise.' _You remember, right Light?"

Honestly she didn't. Orphan had spouted off so much nonsense, that Lightning had blocked most of it out, hoping it would never be necessary to understand. Lightning just nodded so he would continue.

"Anyway, this one book had it as an inscription on it's cover. The book was titled 'Fabula Nova Crystallis', which translates to 'The Tale of the Crystal'. It spoke of a crystal created by the Maker of Pulse, the Maker of Cocoon and the Maker of humanity. It was broken into three shards and left around Pulse. It said that with the formation of this crystal, if all three shards were brought together as one, it would give the beholder the power of all three, Pulse, Lindzei and Etro", Hope drew in a deep breath after he realized he hadn't been breathing.

Lightning took this opportunity to speak. "So, you think that with this crystal, this power, you could use it to... decrystallize everyone?" She gave him a look of disbelief.

"Well it tells of having the power to bring back the Maker of all or Bhunivelze. I'd say it's a fair assumption that it could free those from crystal stasis."

Lightning paced around him. "So the secret mission Sazh has is..."

Hope gave her a furtive glance but conceded, wisely. "They're going out to see if they can find one piece of the crystal. We figured the best place to check first is Etro's shrine, since it's closest. And we figure things out from there."

"What makes you so sure you'd even be able to control this _power_?"

Hope swallowed and ran a hand roughly through his hair. "Well... the book alluded that it could only be controlled by those touched by the Maker. So, assuming it means l'Cie... that would be... us."

Lightning stopped and huffed. Before raging about being stuck with more l'Cie garbage, a question struck her. "But our brands are gone. We don't have our powers." Lightning sighed and put a hand to her forehead before dropping it. "I thought... we weren't... we aren't l'Cie anymore." She shifted her weight to her right leg, and put a hand on her hip.

"I know." Hope rubbed his eyes, bringing back Lightning's initial worry. "That's why I was so hesitant to tell you. Even if the crystals exist, we would have to find all of them, find a way to put them all together and find someone to wield it. I guess I'm hoping that maybe just because the brands are gone, and our powers as well, that it doesn't mean some part of it isn't still inside us. Maybe we don't have to currently be l'Cie. Maybe just having been _touched by the Maker_ in the first place is good enough."

Hope peered back at Lightning. Her eyes were fixed on his.

"Hope." Lightning knew it was a long shot. She knew he knew it was a long shot. But he was trying. Trying so desperately to free their friends and all in Cocoon. She couldn't bring herself to drag his thoughts down any further. "If there was anyone who could find a way to free them, it would be you."

Hope stared at Lightning in disbelief. _All this time and she still manages to surprise me. _

Lightning tweaked her brow. "Don't look at me like that." She looked back at Serah and the others and walked towards the door. She grabbed the handle but turned to Hope, who was staring at the wall. "Hope", Lightning called. He blinked and turned toward her. "You look exhausted. Go to bed."

Hope smirked, "I'm glad you're awake Light. You have no idea how much I've missed you."

Lightning was dumbfounded. She knew Hope had looked up to her, but she had no idea that within those few weeks as l'Cie, he'd become so attached. In truth, the feeling was completely mutual. After their rocky start together, they'd actually grown into a powerful team. When she had left him that first time back in the Vile Peaks, it had been because she hadn't wanted him involved. He was just a kid and she figured she would only succeed in getting him killed. But he insisted on following her and, to her immense shock and pleasure, he turned out to be an excellent battle partner.

Lightning just nodded back and left, her thoughts still consumed by Hope. She continuously found herself thinking of him as that young, vulnerable boy she had known, and had almost destroyed by encouraging his plot of vengeance. _But he isn't fourteen anymore. He's nineteen, leader of the last of mankind. I can't believe how much I've missed. Not only of this world, but of Hope's life. _Lightning's stomach churned at the realization of just how much she had missed. But she found comfort in the fact that his personality seemed to uphold through his daunting transformation. _That sweet kid is still in there._

* * *

A loud snarl broke through Lightning's thoughts, starkly bringing her back into reality. Lightning bolted toward the sound as a yell was cut short. She rounded a corner to see a guard unconscious at the base of a large rock and faced against a small pack of Gargonopsids.

Lightning ran in front of the fallen soldier and drew her gunblade. The beast at the front snarled and sent a clawing strike at her. She jumped from the spot and shot off three rounds in it's direction. The bullets shot through it's head, killing it off instantly. Lightning brought her gunblade up above her shoulder, waiting for the next to make it's move. She didn't have to wait long as the last two bounded for her almost instantly. Lightning maneuvered quickly around them and sliced her gunblade deep into one's thick head, causing it to shriek. It fell to the ground as she back flipped away from the other's swipe, but wasn't quick enough. It managed to cut three gashes into her thigh as she landed. Lightning switched her weapon into gun mode a second too late. The Gargonopsid used it's virulent breath on her, sending the poison throughout her body. As it lunged for it's final attack, Lightning saw a flash of yellow fly toward the snarling beast. A shock of lightning shot through it, causing it to stagger. Lightning watched the yellow thing, recognizing it to be a boomerang, as it flew towards it's owner.

_Hope? What are you doing out here? _Hope fled to her side and pulled out a gunblade of his own from a holster on his back. He quickly flicked out the blade and slashed the Gargonopsid across the throat. It let out on final yelp before landing on the ground. Lightning fell to her knees, feeling the full effect of the poison.

"Lightning", Hope cried. Her skin began paling quickly and she was unresponsive.

As she knelt there, she felt her skin flare up, sweat beaded on the back of her neck, and her heart was rapidly shutting down.

Hope knew how swift the poison was. Death was almost instantaneous and always left only a few minutes of breathing room. He pulled out an antidote from his pouch and handed it over to her. She drank it and waited as the calm washed over her, relieving the pain of the poison.

"Thanks", said Lightning as she stood. She hissed at the feeling of the gashes in her thigh. "Well this is embarrassing. Can't even take on a few Gargonopsids."

Hope winced at the look of her leg. "You should sit down Light. That doesn't look good." He went to help her with her wound as she sat down on a boulder.

"You should check on him first." Lightning gestured to the soldier on the ground.

"Right." Hope reluctantly left her side and looked over the soldier.

_A gunblade Hope? I guess I didn't expect you to be using the boomerang forever but..._

Hope checked the soldier's pulse. It and his breathing were steady. He seemed to only be unconscious but with another look Hope noticed his arm at a bad angle. _It's probably broken but it could have been a lot worse. Glad I came when I did._ He looked over at Lightning. She was staring at the Gargonopsid on the ground. Hope went for his comm. He called for a medic team on the south side of Academia, where they were located. He then went over to look at Lightning's wound.

"You okay Light?" When she didn't respond, he knelt in front of her and cupped her face with his hands, gazing intently in her eyes.

This not only knocked Lightning out of her state, but made her heart flutter slightly. She felt a small blush come to her cheeks. Her body went rigid before she shook his hands off. "Really it's fine. I'm fine." He continued looking her over for other injuries. "Really Hope I'm fine." She stood to make her point, and tried to deflect the conversation elsewhere. "When did you start using a gunblade anyway?" She pulled it out of his holster and looked it over. It was a few inches longer than hers, but mostly had the same build. She went to switch modes and was shocked at how effortless the transformation was. Lightning smirked. "I guess you did grow out of the toy, huh? Well not completely", said Lightning, referencing it's earlier use.

Hope chuckled,"I still use the _toy_ on occasion, obviously. It comes in handy for far enemies but is definitely not meant for close combat. So I started training with this. I've made a lot of my own improvements on it though." He took the blade from her hand and holstered it. "I'm not nearly as proficient with it as you, but who is?" Hope smiled smugly. Lightning just rolled her eyes, ignoring the warmth that seemed to surge through her body at his compliment.

The medics arrived soon after and rushed the soldier off to the hospital. Lightning though, ignoring Hope's protests, refused to go anywhere, so the medics just bandaged her up and left. _Maker, she can be so stubborn. _

Dusk was fast approaching. "Light, you really should have gone with them. Wha-"

Lightning put a finger to his lips. "It's sweet that you care so much but it's fine. Seriously. Don't you have some work to be getting to anyway?"

He grinned at her before putting on a dejected expression. "Aw, your in stasis for five years and I finally get to spend some time with you, and you want me to leave", Hope whined. "Fine." His shoulders slumped as he blew out a sigh. "I see how it is." He walked away a few steps but Lightning grabbed his jacket.

"Why _were_ you out here?"

Hope swallowed and turned around. "I came out to check on you. You know, it... was your first day back on the job..." Lightning crossed her arms "..and I..." He turned a dark shade of pink and coughed. Before he could say anything else, Alyssa came up behind him.

"Director", exclaimed Alyssa, exasperated. "I just found out what happened." She put her hands on her hips. "How did you get away from the guards?"

Lightning glanced at Hope with confusion.

"Bodyguards", said Hope, rolling his eyes. "Honestly Alyssa, they're unnecessary. Especially if I can slip passed them unnoticed."

Alyssa looked them over carefully and gasped at Lightning's bandaged leg. She arrested Hope's arm and started to drag him back to base. "It's not safe out here."

"Alright, alright", Hope yielded. He wrestled his arm free and looked back at Lightning. "You comin', Light?"

Lightning nodded. "In a bit."

Hope laughed as he turned and walked back towards base with Alyssa. "Just don't wait too long. Wouldn't wanna have to be rescued again", Hope yelled over his shoulder before taking off at a brisk pace, Alyssa trailing behind him.

Lightning went wide-eyed at the statement and scowled at his retreating form. _When did he get so damn cocky? And is it just me or is Alyssa a tad clingy? Oh like it matters. He's not a kid anymore. That's for sure. _Lightning shook her head. _He can do what he wants. But when did he get the nerve to tease me? _Lightning sighed and began walking back to the base when the soldier to replace her came.

* * *

The crystal Cocoon towered over Academia, the last of the sun reflecting off it just slightly. She stopped, staring at the world before her. Her heart felt heavy as a plethora of emotions struck her."I'm sorry", Lightning whispered. She continued forward as memories of Vanille and Fang flooded her mind. Vanille, with her relentlessly sunny disposition. Fang, with her incredible fearlessness and strength that even she could not match. Although her time with the Oerban women was short, they had made a huge impact on her life, just as the others had.

Her reminiscing, led her thoughts back to her stasis dreams. Where she had, had so many simple days of laughter and love. _Now what is there? Hope's working himself to death, Fang and Vanille are trapped with the weight of the world on their shoulders, literally, And Serah is still-" _She couldn't finish that thought. All it did was cause all of her old guilt and regrets to emerge from the depths of her emotions. She felt so despicable for not believing her sister about being a l'Cie. The moment Serah had told her, Lightning had basically called her a target. _How could I have said such things? How could she ever forgive me? _For the briefest of seconds, Lightning was grateful Serah was crystal. She didn't want to know how her sister would feel towards her, if she would even want to speak with her. Lightning shuddered at the thought and cut herself off there. _No, I want my sister with me. I want her awake. Even if she hated me until the end of time... I miss her. _A small tear fell slowly down her cheek.

About a mile into the city, she heard a scream, and sped to it's origin.

Not five minutes later, by a building currently under construction, just on the outskirts of town, Lightning came upon a young girl on the ground. Lightning quickly ran to her and knelt down. She couldn't have been older than a teenager. _She actually seems about Serah's age. _She had green eyes, long, dark coral blue hair and was wearing a white and purple outfit that was stained with blood. She had multiple cuts, bruises and burns on her body, and her breathing was labored. Lightning held her hand. Not knowing the number for the hospital, she quickly called Hope, told him her location and to call a med team. When she hung up, she turned back to the girl. Her breathing was slowing and her eyes were slowly fading.

"Hold on, someone's coming to help you. Can you tell me your name?" Lightning brought her up, into her arms.

The girl looked up to her. She attempted to speak, but instead let out a number of harsh coughs into her hand. Lightning watched as blood slowly dripped from her mouth."It's Yeul", she choked. After her reply, she gasped, her eyes flashing.

"Just hold on." Lightning was trying desperately to help, but felt utterly powerless. She looked around desperately searching for someone, anyone that could help. A part of her wished for her l'Cie powers, having the ability to cure being unbearably appealing. Right then, Lightning realized how vulnerable and alone she was. She had no powers and Odin's presence was no longer inside her. All she could do was comfort the dying girl in her arms and pray that the med team would reach them soon.

Yeul gave her one last look, trembling slightly before jerking forward and grabbing Lightning's face tightly with both of her hands. She looked directly into Lightning's eyes and spoke in a hushed whisper, "Only through his suffering, can humanity prevail."

Lightning's brow furrowed. "What..." Yeul's arms fell to her sides as her breathing abruptly stopped. Lightning shook her lightly. "Who?" But Yeul was gone, her body laid limp in Lightning's arms.


	5. Unspoken

**A/N: Woot, another chapter done. And early nonetheless. I had planned to put this up on Thursday but hey, it was done so why not? **

**I felt kind of bad for killing Yeul off but it's not like she hasn't died before ;) Anyway, if any of you are worried about this going down the path of chaos and Caius and all that garbage Square put our couple through, don't. Yeul's part is essential to the plot line but not like that. The minute one of my best friends saw her name, he rolled his eyes and gave me a look of serious annoyance. But no worries. **

**Thanks again for reading. Please review. I love hearing your thoughts and answering questions. It makes my day. Enjoy :)**

* * *

Rain fell softly over the scene. Yeul's body laid still on the ground, rain slowly washing away some of the blood from her skin. Lightning brought her knees up under her chin, hugging them, trying to process the whole event, while millions of questions blasted through her mind. _ Where does... did she come from? Why was she out here? What could have attacked her? Those wounds... was it a person? Does she have a family? _But the biggest questions that held her mind captive were, _What did she mean? Who's suffering? How would she... _Lightning looked over Yeul once more. Her face was serene, innocent. It was a stark contrast to the wounds that marred her body. Lightning couldn't help but feel a sharp pain in her gut. _Her face... she looks so much like..._

* * *

The minute Hope had heard her voice, he felt his stomach in his throat. Lightning was quickly, breathily, telling him that she had found a girl, horribly wounded. That she needed help. He turned to Alyssa immediately, telling her to call a med team and gave her Lightning's location. He then went to ask Lightning what happened. _What on Pulse could have happened in the past twenty minutes since I last saw her? _But she had hung up. Suddenly Hope bolted from his spot. Alyssa, still dialing the number, yelled toward Hope.

"What are you doing? It's not safe. You don't know what-"

Hope stopped and yelled back. "Just keep calling Alyssa. I'll be fine." He continued running. Rain began to mist over pulse. Ten minutes in, his lungs began burning, begging him to stop, but he kept going. He wasn't going to let anyone else close to him get hurt. _I can't lose anyone else. _

Hope finally came upon the half built building, and as much as his body protested, he ran faster. As he rounded the building, he saw Lightning sitting curled up in front of a body on the ground. He stopped next to her, hunching over, and gulped in air. He struggled to speak, but his lungs were too starved. After a few moments Hope managed to let out a breathy, "What happened", and knelt beside Lightning.

Lightning didn't look at him, and instead continued staring at the body before her. He leaned over the girl, intending to check her pulse but Lightning grabbed his wrist.

"She's dead", said Lightning plainly, letting him go.

Hope looked over the young woman. It looked like she had been brutally tortured. His first thought, after he had been called, was that it had been another monster attack, but this... _This was done by a human. A different kind of monster entirely. _He turned from her to Lightning. She was still, her face blank, reminding him of the stoic soldier she pretended to be. There was blood smeared on her front along with her hands and her face. He deduced it was the girl's since Lightning didn't appear to be hurt. He put a hand on her shoulder, feeling her shiver at his touch. "Light, are you alright?"

She had barely registered Hope's presence beside her. When he had reached over Yeul, she had grabbed him out of a sudden impulse. After telling him, she let him go, her mind registering the action. She curled back up, falling back into her mind and the short span of events leading to her present state. Hope's question didn't quite find her until minutes after it's utterance. She turned toward him. He kept silent, but his eyes pleaded with her to give him answers. "I couldn't help her." Lightning shuddered at the sound of her voice. She sounded so weak. _No. This isn't you. You don't sound like this. Not ever. _

Hope couldn't believe it. Although her face was a dull mask, her voice held something different entirely. _What happened?_

Lightning collected herself and stood. Hope followed and locked his gaze with hers. "I heard a scream. She was lying on the ground when I found her. She died shortly after I called."

Hope swallowed. Her voice was devoid of emotion. Before he could reply, the med team arrived, followed by a Guardian Corp. car and a few soldiers on cycles.

* * *

Three hours had passed. Lightning, Hope and Alyssa had given their statements. They now sat together in a small room, in G.C. headquarters, encompassed in silence. Lightning sat in a chair, and stared at the coffee in her hands that had long since turned cold. Hope, across from her, on an old, small couch, glanced at her every once in a while, hoping to catch her attention. His rain soaked clothes caused him to shiver, but he ignored it. Alyssa sat on the other end of the couch, fidgeting.

Hope tried to invade Lightning's mind as she sat there, but seeing as she was expressionless, reading her thoughts was proving to be difficult. Other than her brief overview of events before the other soldiers arrived, she hadn't spoken another word to him. He new nothing more of the situation, other than what he saw, and it was driving him nuts. He wanted to talk with her about something-anything, to make sure she was okay. The direct approach was out of the question. The minute he would ask, she'd shut him down with a curt reply of 'Everything's fine' or 'I'm alright' even though he knew she wasn't. He wasn't entirely sure why they were still there but he knew they'd be speaking with more people and wished they would have been allowed to clean up a bit first. And that's when an idea struck him.

Lightning spaced out for most of the time they were in the room. She was grateful for the quiet and the end of the never ending questions. Although she could see in her peripheral vision, Hope attempting to catch her attention with his eyes. She wasn't quite ready to speak with him yet. He'd seen too much of her vulnerability. He'd come to help her before she'd had time to build up her shield and it irritated her.

Just when she thought she might be able to get through the rest of the day without having to explain herself to him, he stood. Hope walked over in front of her, knelt down and pulled something from his pocket. In his hand was his old green and black bandana from their l'Cie days. _He kept that old thing. _He looked up at her with uncertainty and offered it to her.

"You have some-some blood on your face." Slight shock set into her expression as she slid her fingertips across her cheek, feeling the slowly crusting blood that covered it. She smiled at him and took the cloth from his hand.

Alyssa quickly bounced up. "Oh, here." She wrestled in her pouch for a brief moment, smiling at Lightning and walked toward her holding a compact. "You can use the mirror", Alyssa suggested.

Lightning gratefully took it from her palm, "Thanks", and began wiping off her face. After she had finished, she handed Alyssa back her compact and looked back down at Hope. "I'll get this cleaned up and return it to you. Okay?"

Hope stood and replied, "No problem, Light", before running a hand through his hair. He was about to speak when a soldier, he new personally, came in.

They all rose as she entered and the woman nodded at those in the room in front of her. "Director, Sergeant Farron, if you'll come with me please." She turned toward Alyssa, "You are free to go."

"Um... alright", Alyssa replied and turned to Hope, waiting for instruction.

He looked to the soldier in front of him. "La Salle, how long will this take?"

"I wasn't told."

Hope's expression tensed. "Alyssa... just hold the fort til I get back." He gave her a small smile.

"Of course Director." She smiled sweetly and left.

Hope turned back to La Salle. "Okay Nivien, what's this about? Why have we been waiting for-"

Lightning walked forward. "Are you two friends?"

Hope bit his lip and rubbed the back of his neck, mentally slapping himself for letting her first name slip from his mouth.

"Yes", said Nivien glancing at Hope. She held out her hand to Lightning. "Lieutenant Nivien La Salle." Lightning shook her hand. She was a dark skinned woman with brown hair, tied in a small ponytail, and hazel eyes. She was about 5'6" and looked to be in her early to mid twenties. Nivien folded her hands behind her back and looked to Hope. "It has to do with the young woman, but the general has been dealing with some other business. I was sent to collect you so you could speak with him." At that she turned and walked down the hall, Hope and Lightning trailing after.

Hope shook his head. He figured he should smooth some things over with light conversation. "All business today, La Salle? It's been what... a month since we've spoken?"

"Two... actually." Nivien glanced at him as he came up beside her. "But we're busy people right", Nivien muttered.

Hope clamped his teeth down on the side of his cheek, wary of saying anything wrong, or anything too personal in front of Lightning. _I didn't know she had felt this agitated. It was so long ago, I thought it was best to just let it lie. _

Lightning watched the two's interaction from behind, slightly amused yet unsettled by it. It was obvious they had history, what kind... she could only guess.

As they continued through the halls, Lightning thought about her first day back on the job and how utterly horrible it had turned out to be. _I got clawed by a beast, had to be rescued by Hope and was completely unable to save that poor girl. Great job Farron. What a perfect soldier you are._

They were led into a large conference room. There was a giant, oval-shaped, oak table that occupied most of the space, accompanied by several chairs around it. Lightning and Hope took their seats across from each other. Nivien walked over to a small table in the corner that held a coffee pot and some paper cups. She poured two cups of coffee and walked back to the table, handing Lightning her cup first.

"Um... thank you Lieutenant." Lightning felt odd and uncomfortable at having a superior officer fetching her coffee.

Nivien flashed her a small smile, "No problem, Sergeant". She walked over behind Hope and put the coffee in front of him, jerking him forward into the table as she leaned over his chair. Hope's jaw slackened. He quickly recovered and turned to Nivien, but she was already walking toward the door. "I know it can't be easy to refrain from working for so long, but hopefully the General knows not to keep the busy _Director _waiting." Lightning's eyebrows raised as Hope looked at the Lieutenant's back in shock. But without so much as a glance back, she left the room, satisfied.

Lightning's curiosity had officially peeked. She turned back to see Hope still staring at the door with a mixture of awe and confusion. He looked back at the table biting his lip. In the course of the next few minutes, Hope's eyes danced all around the room, while never falling on Lightning.

Hope couldn't believe that Nivien would do something like that... at work... in front of a fellow soldier. She was always so professional on duty. It only caused him to worry even more about what he could have done.

Lightning, growing tired of the deafening quiet, decided to speak. "Okay, what was that all about?"

Hope cast his eyes warily over her, clenching his jaw. "Really, it's nothing." He rubbed his forehead while Lightning crossed her arms over her stomach.

"Hope, I'm not stupid."

Before Hope could answer, General Amodar came in. The two stood, Lightning saluting to the General. He smiled and shook her's and Hope's hands before motioning for them to sit down. "I'm terribly sorry for keeping you waiting", said Amodar sitting at the head of the table, across from the door. "It's well into the night, but we have some things to discuss before we can hit the hay."

Hope smiled meekly. "Of course General, really it's no trouble."

Amodar turned to Lightning. "How are you Farron? You had quite a tough day."

"I'm fine sir. I'm very sorry for-"

"You have nothing to apologize for. You did your job", said Amodar, cutting her off. A knock on the door caught everyone's attention. "Come in", he bellowed. A short slender man, with a receding hairline walked into the room. He had on bulky horn-rimmed glasses and a long white coat over his outfit. He held a brown file in his hand that he was clutching onto rather harshly. "Ah, thanks for coming Torkin." The man took a seat at the other end of the table, across from Amodar. The General gestured over at the room's occupants, "This is Sergeant Lightning Farron and I'm sure you've heard of Director Hope Esthiem." Torkin looked over at Hope in amazement. "And this is Viktor Torkin, Chief Medical Examiner."

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance", Hope greeted. "Although..." He turned toward Amodar, "...I thought Carline Abernathy was the-"

"She was, but she retired a few weeks ago. Torkin was recently promoted to her position", replied Amodar gruffly.

"Well in that case, congratulations Dr. Torkin." Hope stood to shake his hand. Torkin quickly got up and excitedly accepted the gesture, shaking Hope's hand vigorously.

"Please, call me Viktor. It's an honor, a true honor to meet you Director."

Lightning looked at the elated man with amusement. _Apparently, Alyssa was right. He is admired by many. Even by those that operate on dead people. _

Hope just laughed, "Call me Hope."

They both took their seats as Amodar cleared his throat, "Right well..." He shifted in his chair. "We have started an investigation into the young woman, but seeing as it's only been roughly over three hours, we haven't yielded many results. Only time will tell. Hopefully someone missing the poor girl will be searching for her. Until then we shall investigate what might have happened in the events leading to her death." He coughed once and continued. "I asked Dr. Torkin to examine her body as quickly as possible and meet with us." Amodar then gestured toward the balding man, signaling him to speak.

It took Torkin a few moments to realize this, but he soon set his file on the table and shakily opened it. "Yes... um..." Torkin looked up nervously and cleared his throat. "The young woman was most definitely tortured. She-she had multiple deep lacerations made by a seven and a quarter inch serated blade along with several smaller cuts caused by a three inch knife. Many burns were also on her body. By the marks..." Torkin paused and quirked a brow"... they seemed to have been inflicted by a... a-hand." Torkin looked up to see many confused gazes. "She also had several electrical burns. There were about fourteen bruises from her torso to her ankles. Three fingernails were ripped from her right hand on her thumb, forefinger and pinky. I was also able to determine, by the severe dehydration and lack of vitamin D in her system, that she has been possibly held captive for weeks. The abrasions on her knees and feet were deep but fresh, so she had most likely gotten those after she had escaped or after having been let go. The extent of the abrasions shows that she could have been running for miles." After his conclusion, the room was silent.

Lightning's lips had parted and her eyes were glued to the table. She was horrified. Although she had known that the girl must have endured some serious trauma, she hadn't known just how much agony she had been put through.

Hope's expression was pained. He couldn't bear to think of the terrors the young women had suffered. The thoughts of that girl, that seemed to be just younger than him, being tortured, enraged him.

Torkin closed the file. "We aren't finished with the examination... not by a long shot, but I will have more results for you by tomorrow afternoon." With that he stood.

"Thank you", said Amodar, "for your quick report. I'm shocked you could find so much in such a short amount of time."

The man beamed. "Well, the report is far from complete...", Torkin replied bashfully," But I am a fast worker."

"May I have a copy of your current file", Amodar inquired.

Torkin jumped and quickly slid the file toward him. "Of course, brought that one just for you. Um it was a sincere pleasure to meet you... Hope and-" He turned to Lightning, taking a few moments to contemplate her name. "Farron was it?"

Lightning sighed inwardly. "Yes. It was nice to meet you too."

Hope smiled, "Don't work too hard. I hope to see you again sometime soon, just.. under far better circumstances."

"Of course." He then nodded to Amodar. "General."

"Dr.", said Amodar nodding back, as Torkin left the room.

Amodar opened the file and sifted through it's thin contents, mostly pictures, and grimaced. "So Farron, I know you already went through this, but if you wouldn't mind going over the events again..."

Lightning sat up straighter, which you wouldn't think was even possible by her already perfect posture, and spoke,"Of course."

Hope tensed. He was eager to know the full story, but he was also a bit reluctant. He knew that whatever had happened, had shaken Lightning. And that wasn't something to take lightly. Amodar was staring at her intently, so Hope cast his eyes toward his hands, feeling that she didn't really need two sets of eyes on her during her recollection.

"I was walking back to base after my shift ended and-"

Amodar cut in, "This was after the Gargonopsid incident with Hope correct?"

"Yes sir. He had already headed back to base before me. Anyway, as I was walking back, I heard a scream. I ran toward it and I found the girl on the ground." Her words caught just slightly but she quickly resumed, her voice wiped of emotion. "I didn't have the number for the hospital, so I called Hope, gave him my location and told him to call a med team. She looked like she was in incredible pain so I told her that someone was coming... and I asked her for her name but-"

"Did you ask her what happened? How she got there?"

Lightning was irritated at being interrupted, yet again but remained calm. _He's my superior... and this is Amodar... he's just trying to be thorough. _"No, she could barely get out her name, so I didn't press for anything else."

Amodar glanced over at Hope, who seemed to be consumed by his hands, and nodded. "Continue."

"She said her name was Yeul." Hope's eyes darted up to Lightning, feeling the name to be eerily familiar. He didn't say anything, but he delved into his mind trying to figure out where he'd heard the name before, whilst listening to Lightning's words. "She was quiet for a few seconds but it was like...", Lightning knitted her brow trying to find the right words, " like something struck her. Her body stiffened as she gasped. The next thing I knew she had her hands on my face and she was... whispering...to me." Lightning had gotten quiet but no one said a word. "She said 'Only through his suffering, can humanity prevail'_. _Then she was... gone." Lightning brought her eyes back up from the table to meet Amodar's tentative gaze.

Amodar rested his elbows on the table, folded his hands, and rested his chin on them. "Those... words were her very last?"

"Yes sir. The way she had said it though... it was like it was so... definite... like it was some sort of-"

Hope jumped up from his seat, startling Lightning and the General, and blurted, "Prophecy". The realization had finally jostled the memory from the back of his mind, making Hope extremely happy, but also making him seem a tad too eager. He composed himself and sat down, awaiting Lightning's continuance.

She gave him a baffled look and nodded. The General turned to Hope. "Something you'd like to share?"

"Actually, yes. There was something else I read about when I was researching the crystals." Hope stopped considering how to explain his revelation. "The... Yeul-she... her clothes didn't look customary for either Academia nor Sanctum City. In fact they looked-"

"Pulsian", Lightning cut in.

"Yes. In several books I've come across, there were many references to one of the oldest known tribes on Pulse, The Farseers. They lived long before the War of Transgression - and may possibly still be alive today - since they became nomadic shortly before the war occurred." He stopped and heavily sighed before moving forward. "Throughout all of the generations in the Farseer tribe, their leader was always Yeul. She was a young woman - a seeress, that had visions. These visions, were prophecies of events to come. This foresight however, has a consequence." Hope swallowed. "The visions ultimately kill Yeul, but she is then reborn into the tribe, to rule again."

Amodar leaned back in his chair. "And you think that this girl is her? This, Yeul from the _Farseer_ tribe?"

"It's quite possible. Although it begs the question of how someone would get a hold of her. Yeul always had a guardian..." He brought a hand to his chin. "I'm certain from what I remember of what I've read... her guardian was always a l'Cie with it's focus solely set on the protection of her. Also why would someone even want to torture her... for her visions?"

"So whoever took her, had to have been powerful enough to battle a l'Cie", said Lightning. "Not to mention said l'Cie would give all they have into her protection, knowing their own life is on the line."

Amodar wasn't entirely convinced by it all, but if no future information contradicted their hypothesis, then it very well could be just as Hope guessed. "So if it was her... then what she said very well could have been a prophecy. So someone's... suffering, other than this girl's of course, will provide our race with victory? In some unknown way?"

Lightning sighed. "And this is why I really dislike all this magic crap. Suffering people, cryptic prophecies, nothing good comes out of it."

Hope gave her a crooked grin knowing full well, Lightning was not fond of anything of the magic variety.

Amodar stood and looked to Hope. "How should we handle this", asked Amodar.

That question threw Lightning off. It was not the question per se, but the inquirer and the receiver. Lightning finally understood how high Hope's position was. He could not only command her, but Amodar, and pretty much any one else in all of Academia. Hope really was their leader.

Hope bit his lip before answering, "I think that we should investigate what we can. Dr. Torkin can see if there is anything on his end that can identify her origin. We can put her picture up on the news in case she is from here and someone recognizes her. Also we should send Hildough to Sanctum City. Make sure she isn't from there either, and see if they know anything about this."

Amodar nodded. "And if they do but deny any involvement?"

Hope cocked his head to the left considering his question. It was very likely, considering they rarely cooperated, even with a proven non l'Cie and reasonable man such as Hildough. "Then at least we tried. As for the prophecy... well I'll do some more digging on the Farseers and their leader. However, as much as I really dislike the thought of waiting until something happens, we are probably going to have to do just that."

Amodar walked over to the young Director and squeezed his shoulder in reassurance. "Well alright. I'll see you sometime soon then." He shook Hope's hand. "And I'll see you in a few days Farron." She went to protest but was curtly interrupted. "I won't hear it Farron. You had quite an eventful day. Rest up. You've got a four day leave as of now. Goodnight you two." With that, he was out the door.

Hope and Lightning stood just as Nivien walked into the room. "Your car is here sir." She glanced at Lightning, "I can have a cab called for you if you'd like?"

Lightning shook her head. "It's alright. I'll just walk."

"Are you sure", asked Nivien. "It's quite a long walk back to the Academy base."

"Yeah it's fine."

As soon as they walked out of the building, Hope grabbed Lightning's shoulder gently. "You know I'm not going to let you walk all the way back to base?"

Lightning put a hand to her hip. "And how exactly are you going to stop me?"

Hope just smiled. "Well you got me there. Guess I'm just going to have to walk with you."

"Hope." She looked at his smug smile and knew he wasn't backing down. "Fine", Lightning acquiesced.

He walked over to the car and pulled open the door before bowing, "After you milady."

Lightning rolled her eyes and walked towards him, ruffling his hair before getting in the car.

* * *

For the first ten minutes, the ride was silent. Lightning gazed out the window as the town passed by. Hope stared at the back of his driver's seat, thinking about everything on his agenda for the night, before he could even think about sleep. He glanced over at Lightning, his thoughts turning to the day's past events and Lightning's reaction to it all. As Hope opened his mouth to speak, Lightning asked, "Who's Hildough".

Hope clamped his mouth shut. Lightning continued watching the world fly by out her window, awaiting an answer. "He's like our Ambassador. Reuben Hildough is the representative of Academia. We usually have him deal with any affairs involving the Sanctum City."

Lightning remained quiet. Hope clenched his jaw before moving on. "Light... I would like to know something." She didn't look at him or make any indication that she'd heard him. "What really happened today?"

She blew out a sigh before considering an answer. She had already told him and Amodar everything that had occurred, but she knew that wasn't really what he was referring to. "I already told you everything that happened."

"You know that's not what I-"

"It was nothing."

He rubbed his gloved hands on his thighs. He was fully aware she wasn't going to want to continue but something inside him compelled him to press the issue.

The car pulled to a stop in front of the Academy building. She reached for the door handle but was stopped by Hope as he grabbed her upper arm. "Please Light? I just want to help."

She wrenched her arm out of his grip roughly. "Stop it Hope", Lightning warned. "It's not your problem and it's nothing you can fix." Her voice was dripping with agitation but nevertheless he ploughed on.

"I-"

"Just stop okay." She turned toward him, and Hope was taken aback. Not only by her harsh tone, but her pained expression. Her eyes were pink and puffy, like she had been silently crying the whole ride back. "Just leave it be." She threw the door open, jumped out of the car and slammed the door shut.

Lightning was fuming with anger, although she wasn't quite sure why. Yes she was mad at Hope. But for what? _He was only being a concerned friend, but he just wouldn't back off. I didn't want to go through it all with him. It's not important. He most certainly doesn't need to hear me whine when he's got so much to handle. And I never wanted him to see that... _She had tried so hard to hide her emotions from him. She didn't want him to know how affected she'd been by seeing Yeul's death, but some part of her thought that just maybe... she did.

Lightning huffed and got into the elevator. She went to press the button for the sixth floor, where her small apartment was located, but quickly decided on going to the fourth to visit her sister.

* * *

She stepped into the quiet room and stopped, staring at the crystal forms. After shutting the door, she immediately went to her sister's side. Kneeling down, she clutched onto Serah's crystal, as if doubting that she was really there. She felt the cool crystal under her fingertips and wished desperately that Serah would wake up. She wanted to hug her sister, feel her warmth instead of this icy, hard hand. A few tears slipped through her eyelids. She knew full well that someone could be watching the room through the camera on the ceiling, but she couldn't care less.

"I'm so sorry Serah. I'm supposed to be strong. Not this sappy mess." Lightning shook her head. "I'm a soldier god damn it! I've seen plenty of death. But... this..." She choked on her words. "It was just too much. She looked so much like... I thought I'd lost you Serah." She glanced up at Serah's glowing face. "For a moment there, I thought she was you. Just, please come back Serah", Lightning pleaded. "I need my sister. I need you." She could no longer speak as she stifled her sobs in her hands.

By the time Lightning left the stasis room, it was almost one o'clock in the morning. She rubbed her eyelids, which now from the crying coupled with her fatigue, felt like lead weights. She made her way to her room but stopped a few feet away. Sitting on the ground against the wall beside her door, was Hope, asleep.

He looked so peaceful, his face tranquil. Her mind suddenly thrust her back to their first journey together, alone. Him sleeping against a rock, trusting Lightning, who was basically a complete stranger, to watch out for him while he slept.

She hated having to wake him up, but she knew he'd been there to see her. He probably figured she just wouldn't let him inside and had ignored him. Lightning's stomach lurched, realizing just how concerned and worried she'd made him. She bent down, brushing her hand against his cheek. "Hope." His eyes fluttered open before bulging. He quickly jumped up from his position.

"S-sorry Light", Hope stammered. "I-I was-s just..."

Lightning leapt up and walked to her door, ignoring her stuttering companion, and unlocked it. "Just come in already."

Hope nodded and walked in after her, closing the door behind him. He looked over to the side, noticing the broken lamp on the floor, and looked at Lightning questioningly.

Lightning sighed. She hadn't remembered the lamp, when she'd let Hope in. She'd neglected picking it up the night before, not wanting to deal with the mess her anger had caused. And again this morning she let it remain in it's state, wanting nothing more than to get back to work. "I got a little mad yesterday." Lightning flipped on the light switch and flopped onto the couch.

"Poor lamp", said Hope, trying to ease the tension.

Lightning was tired. Physically and emotionally drained was more like it. She was in no mood to dance around the issue. "How long were you out there?"

Hope sat beside her. "Since we got back."

"I wasn't here." He looked at her half-expectantly. Lightning had wanted to just come home and forget the anguish she'd put herself through, but she figured she might as well tell him. She knew he would still want to know what had been wrong with her. He'd done nothing but help her, support her and be kind to her since she'd woken up. _Hell, almost since we met._ He deserved an explanation for her bitterness toward him previously.

Hope rubbed his right eye. "Look Light, I'm sorry. I-"

"Save it. I'm the one who should apologize. I treated you like dirt for doing absolutely nothing to me. I was just... trying to forget it all." She averted her gaze from him.

Hope put his hand over hers. "Forget what Light?"

Lightning took his hand in hers, the action startling Hope. "You know it's not easy for me to... express myself. So when you kept insisting I just snapped." She looked back over to him but still didn't meet his eyes. "I know you were just curious and worried but I didn't want to talk about it."

He squeezed her hand. "It's alright. I shouldn't have pressed you. Do you still not want to talk about it?" He shifted slightly, trying to meet her gaze.

Lightning rubbed the bridge of her nose with her free hand. "It was nothing really. Just that girl... Yeul, she... reminded me of..."

"Serah", Hope finished, wishing he would have realized it sooner.

"Yes. I thought that I'd failed her, again. I felt I couldn't protect her."

Hope grasped Lightning's chin and turned her to face him. He searched his mind for the right words to help reassure her. "You did protect her. Serah is safe, crystallized but safe. Thanks to you, she will wake up to a new world that will welcome her instead of threaten her."

Lightning's lips curled into a small smile. "You mean thanks to us."

He chuckled,"Yeah." Hope moved his hand away from her chin and brushed a few of stray hairs behind her ear.

Lightning blinked in surprise but quickly rid herself of the expression. She got up and stretched. "Well all this moping and arguing has been fun and all but I think it's about time for some sleep. How about you?"

Hope slowly got up and rubbed some sleep from his eye, yawning. "Not me. I've got a lot I have to get done. Too much work, not enough time. Sleep can wait." He began walking to the door but was stopped by Lightning's arm.

"Sorry Director, but your duties can wait. You look like your eyes are going to roll out of their sockets." She stood in front of him, barring him from the door.

Hope let out a throaty laugh. "Well, thanks for the compliment Light. I really appreciate it. But seriously I have to-" Lightning pushed him back down to the couch.

"If your going to insist on being stubborn, then I guess your sleeping here. Where I can keep my eye on you."

"But Light...", Hope whined.

Lightning grabbed a spare blanket from the closet and threw it at his face. "Nope." Hope pushed the blanket off him and crossed his arms, sulking.

Lightning put her hands on her hips. "Don't be petulant. It's bedtime young man."

He couldn't help but laugh. "Did this really work on Serah?"

She smirked and rolled her eyes. "Serah actually minded me. Well... most of the time." Lightning's expression softened as she remembered all of the times her baby sister had whined, pleaded and begged her to let her stay up. Most times were futile efforts but on some occasions, Serah would give her that sweet, innocent, pleading expression, that Hope had down to a tee, and she would have no other choice than to give in.

Hope laid down and wrapped the blanket around himself. "Fine I concede. But you have to sleep too."

Lightning walked over to her room. "Well of course. Goodnight Hope", she said as she switched off the light.

"Night", Hope mumbled, already drifting off to sleep.

It was comforting, his presence. She wasn't sure how, but Hope had carved himself a special place in her heart. Considering the small time frame that he had known her, it seemed almost unreal. Although thinking back to all of the things they had gone through, the rough times they'd endured, it wasn't all that surprising. She knew she probably wouldn't be as close with any other person, besides her sister. She still had so much to learn about him yet. And she knew she would have to share much more about herself. There were many things she needed to say to him but they would remain unspoken for now. She had confessed enough for one night. Taking one last glance at his sleeping form, she slipped into her room quietly.

She looked into the tall mirror that stood beside her desk, seeing her disheveled self. Blood and dirt marked her clothes, her skin was grimier than ever, but her face was much cleaner thanks to Hope's kindness. He'd helped her out once again. She took the bandana out of her pouch and began tracing the patterns with her fingertips absentmindedly. She set it down on the edge of the desk to make sure she would remember to get it washed and returned.

Taking one last look at herself she decided that a shower was a necessity. She was exhausted but she couldn't possibly sleep knowing that Yeul's blood was on her. So she crept back out of her room and headed for a shower.

* * *

"Castea", called a gruff voice from behind her. She turned to see Sebastian walking up the stone steps. She was standing at the front entrance of the Eighth Ark, watching over Pulse, enjoying the chilly night air that graced her face.

She pursed her lips as he walked towards her. "Watch it Sebastian", Castea snapped.

He lowered his head in shame. "I'm sorry Lady Hidon." He raised his head just enough to meet her eyes, hesitating with his words. "The Guardian, she's still struggling against us. We gave her the news but she won't accept it. She's still-"

"I'm sure you can handle her." She put her hands on the sides of his face and raised his head up, fixing him with a wicked grin. "How long has it been my friend? Three years? Three long years and we're so close." Her voice was filled with villainous pleasure. It both excited him and terrified him. "Soon we will have fulfilled our goal. We will finally be free." She turned back, facing the eery darkness of Pulse. "They've gotten the message and shall soon understand it." Glancing back toward her minion she barked, "Go on", and waved him off. "Put that failed protector in her place. But don't be too harsh love. We need her resigned not dead."

"Yes your majesty." He turned away and hurriedly rushed off into the stone entrance of the Ark.

Returning her gaze back over the beautiful landscape enshrouded in the darkness of the night, she felt the sensation of accomplishment and power rush through her. "Yes, we shall be free. Once the boy is in our hands, it will only be a matter of time."


	6. Promise

**A/N: It seems this fic will be much longer than I'd originally planned. I went over the storyline with a good friend of mine and decided to extend some of it a bit. So yay, a longer story for you.**

**I'm not sure when my next update will be. I will try to post it within a week, to stick to my goal. But I have graduation drawing near with loads of school work, I'll be apartment hunting with my best friend this week, and my boyfriend is coming to see me soon! It may not seem like such a big deal but he goes to college a few states away so I don't get to see him much at all.**

**Anyway as for the story, we will be getting to one of the major conflicts within the next couple chapters. I'm very excited.**

**As always, I hope you enjoy the chapter. Please review :)**

* * *

Lightning awoke to the warmth of the sun on her face as it drifted in through the blinds. She had slept extremely well and wasn't surprised to find that she'd slept in til ten thirty. She lazily sat up, wincing at the dull pain in her right leg. Slowly getting out of bed, Lightning shivered. She pulled on some sweats over her night shorts and slipped on a long sleeve shirt over her tank top. Lightning was grateful for the clothes the Academy had left for her in her room - in preparation for her to awaken - but they were a tad too big. _Since I have some _wonderful_ time off I guess I should buy some clothes. _

She walked out of her room and felt slightly melancholy at the sight of the empty couch. His blanket was neatly folded up on the end cushion. She shuffled over to the blanket and grazed it's edges with her fingertips. It's not like she'd expected him to still be there, especially so late in the morning, but she found herself feeling a bit lonely.

What she hadn't expected, was what she found when she looked over to the side table. A new lamp, of better quality, stood in the place of the previous one. The mess she had made by the wall was no longer there. As if it had never occurred. Lightning smiled wondering how she could have ever met such an altruistic person, let alone been his friend, when she knew she had to be one of the coldest people on Pulse. She knew she didn't deserve to even know him. Her smile widened when she smelled the heavenly aroma of fresh coffee in the air. _I didn't even know I had a coffee pot. That kid..._

Lightning had spent her morning drinking three cups of coffee and watching the news. At around noon she got dressed and readied herself to go out for some clothes, until she remembered something. _Right, I have no money. _

Making her way to the lobby, she still wasn't sure what she should do and thought to ask Alyssa about her situation. While reaching for her comm, she was roughly bumped into.

"Oh hey, I'm terribly sorry but..." Lightning looked up to see Lebreau with her expression turning from apologetic to excited. "I know you. Long time Lightning." Lebreau quickly hugged her, throwing Lightning off. She didn't know Lebreau very well other than her encounters with her at her old cafe, during her run ins with NORA, and that short time when they were l'cie.

"Um yeah. Hey." Lightning waved meagerly. She looked surprisingly different. Her hair was shorter, curlier and her clothes were much less revealing.

"I heard you woke up. I was just about to see if the guys wanted to come to lunch. Wanna join?"

Lightning didn't want to be rude but she knew it wouldn't be a very comfortable lunch with two people she barely knew. With or without Hope. "I don't-"

Lebreau walked past her and tugged on her shirt. "Oh come on. You can at least help me get the boys to stop working. I swear, Maqui's getting to be about as bad as Hope these days." She walked over to the elevator and waved Lightning over. She complied, knowing that someone should get them to take a break. _Hope should actually take a week. _

Their work area was in the basement of the building. It was a large workspace that took up the whole floor. Tools, pipes, cords, and pieces of metal laid everywhere. Lebreau's eyes were wide as she scanned over all the misplaced junk. "Man I told them to pick this place up", she huffed as she kicked away a piece of pipe.

It was empty of people, except for a few diligently working on their projects. Hope and his platinum locks were easy enough to spot. Lightning, following Lebreau, walked over to him. He was stripped of his jacket and shirt, wearing a white tank top that was sticking to his body from the sweat. Lightning couldn't quite tell what he was working on. He had a long pipe cut in half on his desk and he was tweaking the wires inside. "Heya Hope", called Lebreau. He didn't seem to notice her. "I said", she muttered, as she scooted closer to his ear and yelled, "Heya Hope!"

Hope jumped, causing one of the wires to send a small shock through his hand, and turned toward her. "Damn Lebreau. Was that really necessary?" Hope shook his hand in the air, trying to relieve some of the lasting pain.

Lebreau only giggled. "Yes it was. If you didn't zone so much I wouldn't have had to. Where's Maqui?"

"I'm over here", grumbled Maqui from around the corner. "Dear Maker, woman. I could hear you from across the shop." He glared at her as he came into view, then glanced at Lightning. "Hey."

"Good. I just came to get you two fools for lunch. I knew if someone didn't, you'd starve yourselves working all day." She crossed her arms.

Hope raised a brow. "And you decided to get Light in on this charade?"

"Well she wouldn't come to lunch so I figured the least she could do was help me get you two goofballs."

Lightning knitted her brow. "The least I could do...?"

Lebreau shrugged. "Yes. Now are you two coming or not?" She folded her arms over her chest and tapped her foot.

"Yeah, sure." Maqui let out a resigned sigh and began walking toward the door.

Lebreau beamed. "One down. And you?"

Hope scratched his head and turned back to his work. It was tempting. He was hungry and he had been longing to hang out with his friends for quite some time now, but he had responsibilities. "I can't. I have to finish this wiring and then I have some papers to approve."

Lebreau tugged on his ear. "Hey, your coming", she commanded.

Hope pulled her off. "I can't", he insisted. "Maybe some other time."

She huffed. "Fine but your coming to dinner. We're all meeting at my cafe at six. No if's, ands or buts." She turned and tugged on Lightning to follow her.

Maqui waited by the door, leaning against the wall. "Well are we going or not?"

"One second Maq", Lebreau yelled, pulling Lightning behind a corner. "Can you make sure he comes to dinner", whispered Lebreau. "He'll listen to you."

Lightning crossed her arms. "I wasn't invited but..."

"Of course your coming too, soldier." Lebreau smiled.

"I'm not one for social... well anything."

Lebreau grasped Lightning's shoulders roughly. "Oh come on. All of us will be there. And Hope's sure to come if your there to keep him company."

Lightning's mouth tightened as she quirked a brow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

She smiled and rolled her eyes. "Nothing. It's just Hope works _all the time_", said Lebreau, gesturing emphatically. "He needs a break and we wanna hang out with him. He may be a little more encouraged to go if one of his old pals is there is all."

Lightning blew her bangs from her eyes. "Fine."

"Yay. Hope knows where the cafe is so just come with him. It's going to be all of us team Nora people... minus Snow of course." She stopped, looking a little forlorn, but picked right back up. "And Nivien and her younger brother. It's going to be great." She bounced off toward Maqui. "I thought I told you knuckleheads to keep this place up", she said, shifting back into her motherly tone.

"It's not like we're the only ones that work in here."

"Yeah, yeah", said Lebreau before waving back at Lightning and shoving him through the door. Leaving her to deal with Hope.

She walked back around to Hope's workspace. "So... this isn't what I had in mind when I envisioned the _Director's _job."

He stopped working and turned toward her biting his lip. "I like to be... more hands on with my projects than I should, but I balance it out."

"Yeah by being a zombie", Lightning mumbled almost inaudibly, earning a small laugh from Hope. "Really you-"

He waved her off. "Yeah, I know. You all thoroughly disapprove of my time management skills. Believe me, I know." Hope picked up his gloves from the table and shoved them on. He knew everyone was just trying to look out for him, but it really irked him sometimes. He knew his limits. "I just have a lot to get done."

Lightning contemplated what to say. She figured he'd have a lot on his plate but that didn't mean he had to become such a workaholic. _Maker, he's turning into me. _She shook her head to rid herself of the thought. "Anything I can help with? I'm stuck off duty for a few days you know? I'm sure I could be of some use."

Hope considered the thought but decided against it. "I'm sure you would Light, but no. You should rest up. How's that leg doing anyway?"

_Nice deflection Hope. _Lightning leaned against his workbench beside him. "Its fine", said Lightning curtly. "And you know I don't 'rest'. I was in that room for less than two hours and I was already bouncing off walls. I need something to do." _It's the whole reason I went back to work._"I was going to go out and get some clothes but I realized I'm broke."

Hope jumped and went for his coat. "Why didn't you say something sooner Light? Here use my card. I'll call ahead and make sure you have clearance to use it." He took out his wallet and slid his card into her hand.

Lightning tried to shove it back at him. "I'm not a charity case. I'll just get clothes later, when _I_ can buy them."

He pushed her hand back. "And when will that be Light? C'mon, it's alright. Your my friend. And of course your not a charity case. But it's not like you just opted to laze around for the last six years not making money. You couldn't. So please, I insist."

"No", Lightning growled.

"You had no qualms about living in the apartment we provided for you, or wearing the clothing left for you."

Lightning shot daggers at him and slammed the card down on the table. "Fine you can have it all back!" She turned to walk away but Hope grabbed her arm and jerked her back. The force startled Lightning. She still didn't expect such strength from Hope.

"You know that's not what I meant Light. Is it because it's from me and not through the academy?" He let her go and put his hands in his pockets.

She sighed and relaxed her shoulders. "I just don't need to be taken care of."

"I know. But forgive me for wanting to." He turned away, set to go back to work.

Lightning watched his expression turn grim and his shoulders slump. She didn't want to mooch off of him but he had a point. He looked back at her with his token puppy dog eyes and pleading expression in what seemed to be one last attempt at convincing her. It was effective because she felt her heart melt. _Man I swear, no one has immunity to that look. __Maybe this can work to my advantage?_ She snatched up the card and punched him softly on the arm. "Alright, under two conditions."

Hope groaned and glanced over at her. "Why do I not like the sound of that?"

Lightning fixed him with a stern look until he turned back toward her, hands once again in his pockets. "Condition one; I get to work with you until I get back on duty."

Hope shook his head but conceded, "Fine but that seems a bit too fair on my end", he said with a smirk.

"Condition two; you come to dinner. I'm _so_ not going alone with NORA, your little temperamental friend, and her brother, whom I've never even met." Lightning must have unknowingly said the most hilarious thing, because Hope was doubled over with laughter. "What?"

Hope took a few moments to stop and breathe before replying. "Actually he was one of the _first_ people you met." Lightning gave him an incredulous look, obviously not understanding him. "Olly. He's the unfortunate soldier you came across, and subsequently knocked out, when you came out of stasis."

"Oh, great." She crossed her arms. _That's just wonderful. Today keeps getting better. _"Then that settles it. Your definitely coming."

Hope bit his bottom lip. "Yeah alright. Deal. But you better buy a _ton_ of clothes. I mean it. Don't make me pull rank on you Farron", he mock commanded.

Lightning playfully jabbed him with her elbow. "You wouldn't dare."

"Alright", said Hope through his laughter. "Get out of here. I need to focus and you most certainly aren't helping."

"My apologies Director." Lightning poked him in the forehead before turning to leave.

* * *

For the remainder of the day before dinner, Hope worked. He finished wiring one of the poles for the shield project, which to his dismay was incredibly difficult but not impossible. After welding the pole back together, he had finished with just enough time to go over a few of the papers in the towering stack on his desk. At four thirty he stopped the mind-numbing process - paperwork was never his thing - and decided he needed to clean up before hanging out with his friends. His driver took him to his house, which he hadn't set foot in within almost three weeks.

When his father died and he took over his position, Hope had become almost unbearably overwhelmed. He had always been a hard worker. He'd flown through school, having hardly been challenged at all. But it seemed, as Director, there was never a break. Hope found he was almost always behind. That is, until he began working more and more. He used the shower in the workshop, kept extra uniforms in his office, and slept on his office couch. All to try and get his work done. He knew it wasn't healthy, far from it, but he had big shoes to fill.

After showering, he got dressed and was fully ready by four fifty-three. He had already called Lightning who told him she'd be by his house at five thirty to meet up, since Lebreau's cafe is only fifteen minutes from there. This left him time to spare.

He wandered into his study, previously his father's, and sat in the desk chair. He knew he should be using this extra time wisely but he was too exhausted to do so. Instead he reclined back in the chair hoping to catch a brief nap before Lightning arrived.

* * *

_"It's your own son's birthday. You can't possibly be serious."_

_ Hope was sitting in the hallway by the stairs, listening to his mom in the kitchen yelling at his father on the phone. His mom had made him a special dinner of his choice for his birthday. Which they had already eaten by themselves since his father had said he'd be late from work. They decided to wait to eat the cake and open presents until Bartholomew could make it home. _

_ It was ten pm and he still hadn't arrived. _

_ "I know but this isn't fair to him. I-...How could you not have known? I thought you said you cleared your schedule?"_

_ Hope sighed. Although his mother had reassured him many times over the past week that his father would be there for his birthday, he knew he would be working. After all, his father always worked. Overtime on weekdays, on weekends, on holidays, even when he was home his father would be in his study or on his phone in a conference call. So Hope had been realistic about his expectations. But yesterday his father had promised him he'd be home in time for dinner and that he had a special surprise for his fourteenth birthday. His father had gotten Hope's hopes up, just to crush them yet again. _

_ "Fine but we're finishing this when you get home." He heard the beep of the phone, signaling the end of their call. Hearing her footsteps approaching the stairs, Hope rapidly got up, ran into his bedroom, and flew into bed. He'd just made it under the covers when his mom knocked on the door. He kept his eyes closed as she opened it and stepped inside. "I know your awake." He didn't want to talk with his mom. She would only want to talk about his father and make excuses for him. He stayed still as she crept over to his bed. _

_ Hope burst into laughter as his mother began tickling his sides. "Okay, okay I'm up." His mom smiled sweetly and brushed his bangs from his eyes, sitting on the bed beside him. _

_ Nora's smile faltered when she asked, "How much did you hear". _

_ Hope sat up wondering how he never seemed to get anything passed her mom sense. "All of it." He cast his eyes down on the bed._

_ She began to frown but quickly replaced it with a smile. "I'm sorry. You know your father wanted to be here. He just has a lot of work." _

_ Hope growled. "Bullshit."_

_ Nora's mouth dropped open in shock. "Hope Estheim", his mother scolded. "That language isn't tolerated in this household. And your father just got a little caught up with-"_

_ His head shot up, "...with work. Exactly, that's the problem. It's always work. He puts his job before everything." Hope stopped and huffed before continuing. "Dad doesn't care about us. He's __always gone and never has time. Don't you care? I mean he even missed your anniversary. I saw you __crying. But you just-just accepted it. You forgave him the moment he came home and-"_

_ Nora pulled Hope into a hug, stopping the fuming teenager instantly. They sat there for a while until Hope calmed down. He sighed and muffled an apology into his mom's shirt, before pulling away._

_ She just smiled and ruffled his hair. "I know." Standing up she asked,"Do you want to have your cake"_

_ He considered it, there was really no point in waiting for his father anymore. "No, I'm not really hungry. Can I open my presents though" asked Hope eagerly._

_ Nora's smile grew. "Maybe just one. Give me a minute." She walked out of Hope's bedroom and returned a few moments later with a small wrapped gift. She flipped the lights on in his room before sitting back on the bed. _

_ Hope snatched the present out of her hand. It was square, light, and felt like clothing. He glared at his mom. "I get one present today and you give me clothes?"_

_ Nora chuckled and replied, "You haven't even opened it yet". _

_ He looked back at the gift skeptically before tearing it open. He had been right. It was clothes. It was a small green cloth with frayed edges. He unfolded it, revealing it to be a bandana with a black pattern. _

_ "It's a tribal scarf. I saw it at a market a few months ago. The pattern actually says something in Pulsian."_

_ Hope's eyebrows raised. Although Pulse was ingrained into everyone's brains as hell, his mother spoke of it differently. She was constantly saying that people are always afraid of things they don't understand. "What does it mean?"_

_ She put a hand on her son's shoulder."The future lies with hope." _

_ He snorted. Of course it was some inspirational quote with his namesake. Ever since he could remember, his mother repeatedly used his name against him when he was angry or upset. That along __with the fact that Hope had always been teased about his name, lead to his small resentment toward the __annoying word. But he smiled nonetheless. "Thanks mom. It's even in my favorite color."_

_ Nora enveloped him in a bear hug. "I know, it's like it was made for you", she said excitedly. "You know how hard that blueish-green is to find in anything. Surprisingly it was one of only three different colors." _

_ His mother's enthusiasm just reinforced his will to keep his mouth shut about his dislike for everything pertaining to the word 'hope'. She gave him a light kiss on the cheek. Hope rolled his eyes before rubbing his cheek harshly. "Really mom?"_

_ "Your never too old for a kiss goodnight", said his mom as she turned out the light and walked out of the room. _

_ "Yes I am", muttered Hope. _

* * *

A loud pounding noise awoke Hope from his dream. He had been reclining at such an angle, that the shock of the sound waking him caused him to fall out of the chair. He groaned and rubbed his now sore shoulder. Getting up from the floor and grabbing the top of the desk to help leverage himself up, Hope saw a flash of something white on the belly of the center drawer. He bent down to look underneath the desk, and saw an envelope taped to it. Pulling it off, he looked at the envelope suspiciously. Just when he was about to open it, the harsh pounding sounded once more. He stuffed the envelope in his pocket before rushing out to the front door.

As Hope reached for the doorknob, the door jerked open, slamming into his face. "Ow", Hope cried out and reached for his nose. "Damn it."

Lightning, realizing what she'd just done, cautiously made her way inside, trying to avoid hitting him again. He was slumped over, holding his nose as blood drained out. "Oh, Maker Hope. I'm so sorry." She flew to his side and ushered him over to a chair. "Where's your bathroom?" Hope pointed to a room diagonally across from them. She rushed into it. As she fumbled through cabinets looking for supplies, Hope sat, his eyes squeezed shut, holding his nose, praying for the throbbing pain to stop.

Hurriedly walking back to his side, Lightning knelt in front of him clutching a towel in her hand. "Let me see it." Hope shook his head rapidly. He soon regretted the action as the room began spinning in front of him. "Don't be such a baby." She pried Hope's hand off his nose, looking intently at it. "I don't think it's broken." She reached toward it with a towel. He jerked his head away from her, but the soldier just continued forward until she'd accomplished her goal.

Hope whined softly. "Are you sure? It sure feels broken." _Or shattered. _

"It's not bruising so there's probably just a few broken blood vessels. Under your eye is swelling and bruising a bit though." Lightning averted her gaze to the ground and sighed.

A few minutes and one short eternity later, Hope took the towel from her and stood up. "I think the bleeding stopped, so I'm gonna get changed." He sidestepped around the downcast soldier. As he changed in the next room, he hadn't heard any movement from Lightning. He then went to the bathroom, washed off the crusting blood from his face, and took two painkillers to relieve the dull ache that resided not only in his nose, but had spread to his temples. Noticing it to be five forty-five, Hope quickly went to retrieve Lightning. She was still crouched in the same position in front of his chair. "It's alright Light. I know you didn't mean to and I am a pretty big baby. Really, it doesn't hurt that bad."

She stood up and turned toward him. She was startled slightly by the sight of Hope in normal clothing, having been to worried about his injury, to notice before. She realized she hadn't seen him in anything other than his Academy uniform since she woke up. He was wearing a faded brown hooded sweatshirt, black cargo pants, black work boots, and a slight blush as he found her to be staring at him. Shaking herself out of her small trance, she walked over to him and glared. "Why didn't you answer the door? I was waiting out there for like five minutes until I decided to check if it was locked."

Hope put his hands in his pockets. He mentally scolded himself for making Lightning wait. He knew that nap had been a terrible idea. "I was asleep", replied Hope sheepishly. "I'm sorry."

Lightning decided to tone down her harsh gaze, realizing that he thought she was truly angry with him. She was about to smile, to ease the tension, when she remembered a question she'd had before the incident. "Where are your guards?' Hope rolled his eyes and was about to respond but Lightning hadn't quite finished. "And why isn't your door locked?" _Hope's supposed to be protected. _Frowning at him and putting a hand on her hip, she waited for a reply.

He rubbed his forehead and raked his hand through his hair, knowing full well Lightning wasn't going to like his next words. "I sent them home." She furrowed her brow and opened her mouth to speak but Hope simply continued. "I know, but I don't need protected... except maybe from you", said Hope chuckling nervously. She looked furious. "I'm fine Light. It's a waste of time and manpower. They could be doing much more productive things than guarding me." He tried to give her a smile but the intense anger that emanated from the soldier stopped it from making it's appearance. As much as Hope knew he should have stopped there, he trudged on regardless. "And I always forget to lock the door. It's no big deal."

Lightning was ready to punch him. She didn't think he could seriously be that naïve. "Hope", Lightning fumed. "You can't possibly be serious? You always forget to lock it? That's your excuse?" She took a step toward him as he retreated back a few steps, slight fear registering in his eyes. _Good. _"And you sent your guards home? What the hell Hope? I can't believe you'd be so stupid."

Hope knew she wouldn't take it well, but he sorely underestimated how mad she would get. He thought only Snow could make her this angered.

"It's not a waste of time Hope. This city needs a leader and what happens if something happens to you. It couldn't... I couldn't...Did you learn nothing from the assassination attempt?" Lightning snapped her mouth shut, regretting the last words she had uttered. She hadn't talked about it with him yet and she most certainly had not wanted to bring it up like that. As she looked in his eyes, she saw pain and sadness, which was far from what she'd wanted to cause. She only wanted to make him understand the danger he was putting himself in. "Hope. Hope, I'm sorry. I-"

Hope put his hand up in front of her, stopping her apologies. "No. Your right. I was careless." He was completely aware Lightning hadn't meant to bring that up, but she had, and it dug up all of his buried grief and pain that he'd kept inside. Memories of that day took over his mind for a tormenting few seconds. "How did you find out", Hope asked, his voice quiet yet surprisingly steady.

"Alyssa told me." Lightning hated herself for hurting him the way that she had. She couldn't believe her good intentions had become such a mess.

Hope looked off into the corner past her. "Right." Try as he might he couldn't get the images out of his mind. He hadn't allowed himself to think about that day in a long time.

Lightning didn't know what to do. Hope had gotten severely quiet and wouldn't look at her. There was nothing she could say. The only thing she could do was comfort, which was not her forte in the least. She remembered the first time she'd tried to comfort and help the grief stricken young man. All she had succeeded in doing, was set him on a path of revenge and give him the weapon to carry out his mission.

Lightning forced those memories away. Hope was in pain and she needed to help. Without much further thought, she put her arms around Hope's middle and hugged him.

Hope jolted out of his memories, never wanting to remember them again, and realized what was happening. Lightning was hugging him, tightly. He put his arms around her, accepting the comforting gesture.

Lightning could feel Hope startle at her touch and wondered for a fleeting second if she'd made the wrong move. But as Hope relaxed and reciprocated the gesture, she nuzzled herself a bit into his chest. She could feel his erratic heartbeat begin to slow back to a normal pace. While being so close to him, she began making more observations about the new Hope. For one, his height seemed even more daunting than before. Through his shirt, she felt Hope's – new to her – muscles and silently praised him for them. As she took in Hope's fresh scent though, she felt slightly overwhelmed by a new emotion as an unknown warmth surged through her body. For the life of her, she couldn't understand what it was that she felt.

He felt her push herself farther into his chest and he wasn't quite sure what it meant. It seemed instead of comforting him, she was trying to_ find_ comfort in him. He brushed that thought away, instead focusing on the warmth of Lightning's embrace. She was so close to him. For the longest time, while she was in stasis, Hope thought he would never be able to speak with her again. Let alone be able to hug her.

A few minutes had passed before the two parted, their faces a tad reddened. "We should get going", suggested Hope. "We're already going to be late." He turned to leave but felt a tug on the back of his sleeve.

Lightning stopped him. She knew his emotions couldn't be faring too well. A hug could only do so much. "Are you sure. If your... um-nose is still hurting then I'm sure they'd understand."

Hope smiled as she walked in front of him. "Yeah it's okay. Besides I made a promise." Hope winked at her and walked to the door, opening it for Lightning.

They got to his car and his driver was standing there waiting. "Running a little late sir", asked Dornum, smiling while opening a door for Lightning. She thanked the old driver before sitting in the car.

"Aren't I always?" Hope let himself in opposite Lightning.

* * *

As they exited the car, Lightning took in the appearance of Lebreau's cafe. It was a decent sized restaurant called the NORA cafe. It looked much like the one in Bodhum but was bigger and sturdier.

Hope noticed her examining the cafe and spoke up. "Lebreau wanted it to seem as much like her old one in Bodhum as possible. She felt the familiarity would be good for everyone from there, as well as for Snow. Whenever he wakes up that is." Lightning nodded to express that she'd heard him.

Although she was looking over the cafe, Lightning found herself still attempting to figure out the feeling that had come over her not twenty minutes before. It confused her to no end. She also felt a twinge of nervousness about dinner. Sitting around and chit chatting with friends was something she hadn't done since before her mother died.

Hope rubbed the back of his neck as he waited for some sort of response or movement from Lightning. She seemed to be deep in thought. "You look really nice by the way." It was the first time Hope had seen her out of uniform as well. She was wearing a white short sleeve blouse with a black button-up jacket, jeans and brown boots. Lightning finally seemed to snap out of her head and looked at him.

"What?"

Hope chuckled and repeated, "You look nice."

Lightning looked herself over and back at Hope before replying. "Thanks."

Hope looked out into the distance and found himself staring at Cocoon. "You know, I think I'm gonna visit them soon."

Lightning turned to look at what he was talking about and immediately understood. She couldn't believe she hadn't even thought about visiting them.

"You should too. I mean if you want. We built a small facility beneath to monitor it and keep it from being attacked, but we wanted to keep it at a safe distance from Academia. You know, in the event that it... falls." Hope stared down at his shoes.

"Yeah, I should see them soon."

"We should probably get inside. We're already fifteen minutes late." With that they went inside. As Hope entered the cafe, he felt nervousness hit. Before, he had thought about the dinner as a good time with some friends. But now he remembered Nivien's actions at G.C. headquarters the day before. He hoped she wouldn't still act the same way around everyone. He felt lucky that he had slid his way out of Lightning's question about her before._ Hopefully everyone else can ease the tension. If they don't __make it worse._

_ "_Hey guys! Over here", called Maqui. Everyone was already there. They sat around a large table with enough room to sit ten.

As they approached the table, Lebreau gave Hope a small glare. "What took you so long. I-" She immediately stopped seeing Hope's partially swollen and bruised eye.

"Oh c'mon, Lebreau. You know me, I'm always fashionably late" stated Hope with a chuckle.

Yuj snorted. "Yeah. Oh so fashionable." Gadot elbowed him in the ribs. "Ow jeez. He knows I'm only kidding.

Maqui grinned at Hope. "Hey, how'd you get the shiner?" He snickered as Hope rolled his eyes and sat next to Lebreau. Lightning sat on Hope's left, in between him and Yuj.

"It's not a black eye. It's more under my eye than on it", Hope tried.

"Oh please. How'd you get it?" Hope rubbed the back of his head as Lightning averted her gaze, telling Maqui what he needed to know. "A girl? You got punched by a girl?"

Lebreau threw the lemon from her drink at Maqui's head, but he ducked just in time. "Hey, what's that supposed to mean you sexist? Zip your trap."

Gadot took Maqui into a headlock and gave him a noogie. "Yeah I'd keep your mouth shut Maq. I wouldn't want to cross any of these women." The burly man released Maqui and turned to their newest arrivals. "So Lightning, what did the dunce do to deserve that", asked Gadot with a wink.

She sighed, not wanting to go into the details about her klutzy move that could have landed Hope with a broken nose or a nasty concussion, but she didn't want to seem antisocial. She went to speak but Lebreau cut her off. "Oh please. It couldn't have been that bad. Hope can be an idiot sometimes but I don't think he could-"

Hope shoved Lebreau's shoulder. "Wow thanks for the backhanded compliment."

Lebreau just shoved him back, almost knocking him off his chair. "You didn't even let me finish."

Lightning took in the boisterous group. She found it very weird but surprisingly enjoyable. If she were to go back and tell her past self that this would be her future – relaxing and enjoying an evening meal with some friends – she would have told her that it was impossible for her to even _have_ friends. Yet here she was. Granted she didn't know them all very well, but that would be the classification for them. Friends. Yuj, Gadot and Maqui were playfully knocking each other around as they teased Hope about his eye. Lebreau and Hope were laughing. Nivien was intently listening to Hope and Lebreau while laughing herself. But the young man next to Nivien, who she supposed was Olly, seemed out of place. He was keenly trying to avoid eye contact with Lightning, and she could guess why. Although one jab to the ribs from Maqui a few seconds later, had him joining in with a fit of giggles. He was a young man of about eighteen maybe nineteen and looked very clean cut.

"Really guys", said Hope through his laughter. "It's no big deal. It was just an accident. Even if it was really good timing." Hope gave Lightning a playful glance and she decided to chime in on the conversation.

"You just better learn to not keep me waiting, or my timing will have to be a little more precise next time." Lightning punched him in the arm as everyone erupted with laughter.

Yuj slapped his knee. "I'd watch it Hope. If that's what an accident looks like, I wouldn't want to see you if it was on purpose."

"I would", said Maqui eagerly. "Go on Lightning. Put him in his place." Lebreau threw another lemon slice toward Maqui, which he dodged just in time for it to fly into the waitress's face.

Lebreau's eyes widened. "Oh, I'm sorry Meg." Maqui just burst into laughter, along with Olly.

Nivien smacked her brother on the back of his head. "Terribly sorry for these two as well."

Lightning took in Nivien's appearance. She looked so different from her soldier self. Her hair was down to her shoulders, curled with a bobby pin keeping her bangs to the side. She was wearing a low cut top and a few silver bangles. Her whole aura was completely different as well. Back at G.C. Headquarters, she seemed to be a very strong and confident woman, with the exception of her actions toward Hope. Her confidence showed now as well, just in a much more feminine way. Her harsh, business front was gone. She was like a normal woman now. Completely relaxed and enjoying herself.

The waitress just laughed as she wiped the juice from her cheek. "It's quite alright Ms. Kinesh. Here are your menus, jus' lemme know when your ready."

Yuj snorted as she walked away. "Really _Ms. Kinesh_, I don't think it's very polite to throw food at your employees."

Lebreau glared at him. "Watch it Yuj or it won't be a lemon hitting you." She balled her fist and shook it at him.

Nivien looked across the table at Lightning. She folded her arms and rested them on the table. "So, it's Lightning right?" Everyone quieted down, waiting for her response.

"Yeah", replied Lightning.

She smiled. "I hear you put my brother in his place a few days ago." Olly's jaw dropped and she chuckled at his expression. "I have to thank you for that. If I had to hear him one more time spouting off how 'women couldn't possibly expect to take down men' again, I was gonna scream. But it seems all he needed was a little demonstration."

Olly put his hand to his forehead and covered his eyes. "That's no woman, she's a deadly weapon."

Gadot slammed his hand down on the table, cracking up. "And your sister isn't?" Gadot took a few moments to collect himself before talking sternly to Olly. "I've seen her in action." He looked over to Nivien. "You'd think he'd learn first hand being your brother and all."

Nivien sighed. "I guess I just wasn't hard enough on him. That'll have to change though."

Lightning chuckled. "Yeah it just might. He was a bit cockier than he should have been. What's your rank anyway kid?"

Maqui grinned before smacking Olly on the back. "A private", yelled Maqui, attempting to control his laughter.

Olly sat up straight at that. "I am sorry though. I was just trying to do my job."

"I can respect that but I'd think twice about going against Lightning again", said Lebreau with a wink.

Yuj rolled his eyes. "Who'd even think about it. It's a no brainer."

Hope gave Olly a crooked grin. "No one messes with Light."

Olly slumped in his chair, apparently not taking the jokes and gibes very well. "Don't sweat it kid", said Lightning staring at the menu. "You did fine under the circumstances."

Olly smiled. Meg came a few moments later and took everyone's order. Almost all of them knew immediately what they wanted, having eaten there many times before, but Lightning wasn't sure. She wasn't sure she even wanted to eat, but she took one of Hope's recommendations regardless.

"Alright, hope ya'll are havin' a good time. You sure do seem like ya are", said Meg, before collecting the menus and leaving.

Lebreau sighed and turned to Hope. "So when is Sazh due back from his super secret mission?"

"Not until tomorrow." Hope had kept himself so busy, he hadn't allowed himself to think about the mission for the crystals. If they didn't find anything today, it was likely that the whole plan was a bust and they would be back to square one. Waiting.

Maqui looked up from a gadget he was fiddling with under the table and beamed. "I can't wait to see what they find. I mean Snow could come out of st-"

"Maqui", Hope yelled.

All of the group's eyes went to Hope. Lightning new it'd been classified. Why she'd been able to know... she wasn't sure whether it was because of her sister, her closeness with Hope or a mixture of the two. But if Sazh, the pilot of the mission, hadn't known til the day he reported in, then she didn't think Maqui would have been told.

Lebreau quirked a brow. "What about Snow's stasis?"

Hope looked at everyone around the table. All of NORA was expectant and Nivien and Olly were just curious. It was enough he'd leaked the mission to Lightning. But then again, he is the Director, and it all was his idea. If he wanted to tell his friends, he should be able to. Then he thought about when he told Lightning. Even though she'd been careful to keep most of her feelings hidden, he knew that if this mission didn't pull through, she'd be heartbroken. He most certainly didn't want to put them all through that.

"Maqui, were you hacking into the Academy's files again", Hope asked, trying to dodge the questions.

"I did help build the firewall. Don't tell me you didn't expect it?" Hope looked extremely mad and serious, causing Maqui's grin to promptly disappear.

Lebreau put a hand on Hope's wrist. "What is he talking about Hope?"

Hope sighed. _Damn it_. "He's talking about the mission and some seriously classified stuff that he had no business looking into."

"Hey", yelled Maqui. "It has to do with all of us in NORA. This is Snow we're talking about."

Hope groaned. "Yeah and Sazh's son. Sazh is the pilot of the mission and will be on the search team as well. Him and almost every other person on that search team don't even know why they're looking for the crystal. It's classified."

Maqui stood and slammed his hands on the table. "That's insane. Your telling me that he's looking for something that could save his son, and doesn't even know it?"

Olly blinked in surprise at Maqui's outburst. "What is going _on_?" Nivien tapped him on the shoulder and waved a finger at him, telling him to mind his business.

"That's _exactly_ what I'm telling you." Hope folded his arms over his chest, wishing Maqui would just shut up.

Gadot pulled Maqui down by the collar, forcing him to his chair, but he continued arguing with Hope regardless. "Well we should still get to know. Hell even Light-" He looked at Lightning, noticing her disinterest. "Oh, hell no. You told her? You told Lightning and you can't tell us? Holy Etro Hope."

"Fine", said Hope. He didn't want to look at any of their expressions, so he stared at the table. He didn't want to see the hope in their eyes that could easily be stamped out by one call tomorrow morning. "Sazh's mission is to find a piece of crystal. If they find it and two other pieces, then we might, and I emphasize might, be able to get Dahj, Serah and Snow out of stasis." Hope sighed. "Along with Cocoon."

Everyone was quiet. Yuj, Lebreau and Gadot were taking it all in. The possibility of their leader coming back, making them unbelievably excited. Maqui was still fuming about Hope telling Lightning and not him. Nivien and Olly just sat there unsure of what to think. Lightning stared at Hope, spotting a slight tremble in his hand. She knew he hadn't wanted to tell them. It had been quite obvious. And she understood why. He'd even hesitated telling her. But Maqui had a point. It did concern all of them.

Before anyone spoke, Meg came with their food.

After unloading it all and checking to make sure all was well, she left the quiet table and it's occupants. They ate in silence for a few minutes until Yuj cleared his throat. "So why didn't you tell us Hope? Was it really just because it was classified?"

Hope put down his fork and finished chewing. "No. It's because it's a slim chance guys. I didn't want you all to get your hope's up."

"But you told Lightning", said Nivien, not looking away from her food.

Hope opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Lightning. "I pretty much forced it out of him. Really, it's not his fault. "

Much of the next twenty minutes of conversation was about progress on the shield project, Team NORA's current responsibilities in Academia, and Nivien's questions about Lightning's previous work in Bodhum. After that Nivien excused herself from the table, wanting to step outside for some fresh air. Hope followed a minute after.

* * *

Hope walked out just as Nivien flipped her lighter shut, sticking it into her pocket. "I thought you quit", asked Hope, startling her.

She blew out the smoke through her nose. "I did. I missed them too much." Hope walked up beside her, looking intently at the surrounding city. "What are you doing out here?"

Hope swallowed and tried to find the right words. He turned toward her deciding to bite the bullet. "What's up with you?"

Nivien furrowed her brow. "What do you mean?"

Hope gave her a look telling her to cut the crap. "You know full well what I mean. Yesterday, that was just rude and unprofessional. I thought we were friends."

Nivien scoffed and flicked the ashes from her cigarette but still didn't face him. "We were."

Now he was even more confused. He stepped in front of her so she'd be forced to look at him. "Nivien, what's going on? I don't even know what I-"

"Whatever." Nivien glanced off to the side. Hope was getting frustrated now. She could make rude comments and push him around, but actually telling him what was up was out of the question? He hadn't known Nivien to be so childish.

"I-"

"Don't act so innocent Hope. It's making me sick." She threw her cigarette down and stomped it out before turning to leave.

Hope attempted to pull her back, but instead when he'd grabbed her arm, she'd turned and pushed him back. "Stop this Nivien. I want to talk about this. Like adults."

She huffed and spun back toward him. "I'm angry okay?" She blushed when she realized how close their faces were. Taking a step back, she continued, "I just-"

Hope tugged on the hem of his sleeve. "Is this still about... what happened between us?"

Nivien put her hand to her forehead. "Really? Of course it is. I know your not that dense Hope."

Hope looked at his shoes, unsure of how to continue. He really didn't even want to, but he knew Nivien's recent behavior had to be solved and stopped. "I'm sorry."

Nivien sighed. "I loved you, you know that?"

Hope's head snapped up and their eyes locked. "I-"

"And I still do. But it doesn't matter." She shook her head and put her hands in her skirt pockets. "You don't care about me."

Hope grabbed her wrist out of her pocket and took her hand. "Of course I care about you. I just... I don't know."

Nivien held onto his hand tightly for a few moments before sliding out of his fingertips. "Not the way I care about you."

"Nivien I... I can't really see anyone anyway. I work too much to even stay in contact with my friends, let alone stay in a relationship and..." Hope faltered with how to finish. He had known that Nivien still carried feelings for him, he just hadn't known they'd remained so strong. After all, it had been almost eight months since they broke up.

"You know that if you really cared... if you loved me too... then you'd make time for me. And you wouldn't have hesitated in taking the next step."

Hope turned away from her, knowing she was right.

* * *

After Nivien and Hope had walked out of the restaurant, everyone either stared at their empty plates, or were silently eating their remaining food. Everyone but Maqui of course.

He stared at the doors trying to see what was going on between his friends outside. "I thought they broke up?"

Lightning choked a little on the last of her food going down her throat and Gadot smacked him upside the head.

"Like it's any of your business", snapped Lebreau.

Maqui raised his hands up in defense. "Hey he's my best friend, of course I wanna know."

"Yes they're broken up", Olly grumbled.

Yuj laughed while saying, "I can't believe they were ever even together in the first place."

"Shut it Yuj. I thought they were a cute couple." Lebreau huffed and crossed her arms.

_A couple? _Lightning had mixed feelings at that thought although she wasn't quite sure why. It made sense with how Nivien had acted toward him before. Especially if it had ended badly. Although she didn't know why, she wanted to know more. She deduced it to just being the fact that he was one of her closest friends, if not _the_ closest friend she had.

Lightning cleared her throat. "They were... together?" Everyone looked to Lightning, making her feel incredibly awkward.

Lebreau smiled. "Yeah. They started dating about a month after he turned eighteen until around... what?" She turned to her fellow NORA members, who all shrugged. She rolled her eyes and put a hand to her chin.

"It's been eight months", said Olly, staring off into the distance with a hardened expression.

Lebreau nodded to Olly. "Right. They seemed happy but I guess with Hope's job and his new responsibilities after... well you know, they started seeing less of each other. Well, _everyone_ started seeing less of Hope." She frowned. "Anyway, I guess that's why they broke up." Lebreau turned back to her plate before going for her purse and looking at the bill. "Don't worry you guys, dinner is on me."

Maqui and Yuj hollered and clapped, ecstatic that they didn't have to pay, but were shut down by simultaneous smacks on their heads by Gadot.

* * *

They stood in silence for a while, avoiding eye contact, just taking in the night enshrouded city. "It's tomorrow isn't it", asked Nivien, as she glanced at Hope.

His jaw tightened before he spoke. "Yeah."

Nivien put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it gently. "I'm sorry." She turned and went back inside. Hope stayed, taking in the slight breeze.

He felt overwhelmed. Things really hadn't ended the way he'd wanted them to with her, but he didn't know how he could fix it now. She'd been right after all. He didn't feel the same way. He liked her a lot, but he knew he didn't love her. Maybe he'd been lying to himself the whole time. Their breakup was just another thing he'd blamed on his position, but in all actuality, it was his feelings, or lack of feelings that had caused the split. He felt bad, terrible even.

Deciding to not rejoin the group, he went to call his driver but realized he didn't have his comm on him. Mentally slapping himself for being so stupid, he used a payphone. He told Dornum that he was walking to the Academy base. Hope asked him to swing by the cafe anyway and take Lightning home though. When asked why, he said he just needed some air.

* * *

The gang was all done and ready to leave. Hope still hadn't come inside but Nivien had told them that he'd just needed some time to think. While walking toward the exit though, Lightning got a call from Alyssa.

"Hello?"

"Hey", said Alyssa, bubbly as ever. "Is the Director with you?"

Lightning stopped and furrowed her brow, wondering why she wouldn't know where he was. Alyssa could always easily track his comm. "Yes. Why?"

"Ugh, I've been trying to get a hold of him, but he wasn't answering. I tracked his comm which led to his house, so I went and looked for him. I guess he left it in his pants when he changed? Anyway can you put him on? It's kind of urgent."

Lightning sighed. "Yeah one moment." She walked outside and looked for him but he wasn't there. She turned back to her friends as they walked out behind her. "Have you guys seen Hope?"

They all, besides Olly, glanced around the front area. "I'll go check and see if he snuck inside", said Gadot turning to run off into the building.

Lebreau grabbed his arm. "Wait. There's Mr. Dornum, Hope's driver." Lebreau scurried over to the aged man. "Have you seen Hope?"

"He said he needed some air and was going to walk to the base. I was asked to pick up Ms. Farron and take her home."

Lebreau crossed her arms. "He would do something like that. Well that solves it. I'll see you later soldier."

Lightning said goodbye to everyone and turned back to her phone. "Sorry Alyssa, he already headed back to base. If you find him before I do will you tell him I want to speak with him." _Or knock his lights out more like it. _

"Oh sure."

* * *

As Lightning got out of the car at the base, her phone rang again. She stood half in and half out of the car and answered it. _Alyssa_ "Yeah?"

"He hasn't checked in yet and I'm kind of worried. Are you sure he said he was coming here?"

Lightning felt slight panic settle into her stomach. _God damn it Hope. _"Yeah I'm-" Lightning caught a glimpse of Cocoon in the corner of her eye. "I have an idea of where he might be. I'll call you back if I find him." She hung up before receiving a response and got back in the car. "Can you take me to the Cocoon facility instead please", she asked Dornum.

He smiled back at her. "Most certainly ma'am."

"Please, call me Lightning."

* * *

Hope stood at the base of the pillar, staring into the crystalline structure. He put his hand on it, feeling it's cold and smooth exterior. "I'm so sorry. It's not fair we get to carry on with our lives while your stuck in there, supporting all of the people who abhorred you." Hope's hand dropped to his side as he pressed his forehead against the crystal. "It seems... I can't save anyone. Not my family. Not my friends." A small tear wormed it's way out of his eyes as he squeezed them shut. "But I'm trying. I want you to know that. Even if they find nothing, I'll keep trying and never stop. We will get you out of there. You hear me Fang and Vanille?" He backed away a few inches, eyes searching the pillar for the place that they lied.

Lightning ran into the hallway, bolting toward the enclosure that secured Cocoon's safety. As she rounded the corner, she spotted Hope staring at Cocoon, his back toward her. She sighed and walked toward him, trying to temper her boiling anger. "Hope", Lightning yelled.

Startled, he quickly turned toward her. "Oh hey Light. What's..." He stopped noticing Lightning to be seething with rage. She walked toward him, balling her fists. "What's wrong?" Sincerely, he didn't know what he could have done this time. He was really getting tired of people yelling at him as well.

Lightning stopped, mere inches from him. If she hadn't still felt so guilty for hitting him earlier, she would have decked him right in the jaw. "You just left", said Lightning through clenched teeth. She tried to calm herself but was far too frustrated with him.

Hope cocked his head to the side. "That's what this is about? I told Dornum I was leaving and where I was going. Yes, I did end up changing my mind but I had to check into the facility, so someone would have found out where I was."

Lightning shook her head. "Alyssa's been trying to reach you. You apparently left your comm in your other pant's pocket after the door incident. You should have called her the moment you realized it wasn't on you."

Hope's shoulders slumped as he looked off to the side. "But she should have been notified when-"

Lightning sighed and paced around him. "She was. She called me a few minutes before I got here and told me you'd signed in. But that's not the point Hope." How could she get this through to him? She only wanted him safe, but he seemed hellbent on ignoring the safety precautions and her earlier pleas. "You didn't tell us where you were going or that you'd even left." She stopped again in front of him, staring deep into his green eyes, hoping that this time, she'd get through to him. "No one knew where you were, you don't have your communicator, and you have no one by your side to protect you." A fire seemed to rise behind Hope's emerald gaze and Lightning figured she'd struck a nerve.

"I'm not the weak child I was Lightning. I don't need help. I don't need protection. I don't need you or anyone else throwing themselves on the line for me." He turned away from her and walked back toward the pillar, looking at the ground.

Lightning clenched her jaw and fisted her hands as she stalked over to him. "Let's get one thing straight Hope", said Lightning as she grabbed his shoulder, pulling him around to face her. "I will always protect you. Whether you need it or not." She huffed and stared at his hardened expression. "You were never weak... and no, you are not a child, but you are the Director of the Academy. You are the the leader of Academia." She raked her hand through her hair before placing it on her hip. "If they are targeted-" Hope went to look away, but Lightning grabbed his chin. "Hey look at me." He wrestled his chin from her grip but locked his eyes back on hers. "If they are targeted, your first. Your the one they'll come after. Do you really want to leave this place, your citizens, without a leader?"

Hope sighed harshly before crying out in frustration. He walked past her, brushing into her shoulder, but stopped a few paces away. "I never asked for this. Not any of it." His shoulders tensed. "I'm just-just tired. I'm tired of losing everyone and being so powerless to stop it. I hate it. I hate... myself." He blew out another sigh before turning back to face her. "My home... my friends are all stuck in that... crystal sphere for Maker knows how long." He squeezed his eyes shut. "My mother died, right in front of me. And my father... he didn't have to... And for me", Hope stammered, distraught. "He did it for... I'm just... I couldn't handle losing another person. Especially if it was for my sake."

All of Lightning's previous fury had been extinguished by Hope's words and sorrowful expression. She had nothing left to say. "Hope."

He winced at his name. "No. You don't get it Lightning. You don't have people throwing their lives away to save you. You... are strong, unstoppable. You protect and help others." Hope stared at her, wondering if he'd ever be half as strong as her. "Your not the weak invalid who constantly needs saved."

Unsure of what else to try, she hugged him again. "It's okay Hope. It's okay to need help, or even to have help when you don't." She released him and cupped his cheek with her hand as she stared into his eyes now filled with uncertainty. "It doesn't mean you're a child or that you're weak. It means you're human. And a pretty important one." He sighed as she stepped back from him. "I promised you, I'd keep you safe. And I intend to keep that promise."

* * *

Her screams could be heard throughout much of the Ark. She sobbed and yelled at the top of her lungs until she could no longer speak. Yeul was dead. There was no denying it anymore. She had felt her death the moment it had occurred, she just hadn't wanted to believe it. She had failed her in the worst and most horrifying way possible.

What she didn't understand now was why she was still alive. They'd gotten the information they wanted. Yeul was now gone. But they kept her alive. She thought the only reason they'd taken her and tortured her in the first place, was to use her against Yeul. But why now?

She laid strapped to a stone table, now silent and resigned. She couldn't take much more. She couldn't fight back. The one person she'd always fought for was gone. There was no point anymore.

She was encompassed by darkness. There was only the small flickering flame of a torch on the wall that kept her from being swallowed by the shadows. In an attempt to preoccupy her mind from her crippling despair, she watched the flame's light dance along the walls.

"How are we today", called a husky voice as a tall, hulky man came into the room. Sebastian stood over her, examining her slightly. "You've been quiet for some time. Given up already?"

The woman paid no attention to him, intently watching the flame, as if clinging to it's light.

He brought his hand up over her, electricity sparking at his fingertips. He sent a large surge of electricity through her body, smiling as she cried out in pain, her voice hoarse.

She jolted, but refused to turn her gaze away from the torch.

"Zalera" Sabastian sang. He twirled a strand of her green hair around his finger, while sliding his other hand down her torso. His hand slowly began heating up as he brought a small flame beneath it, burning her skin at the touch. Her jaw tightened and she let out a small whimper. "Zalera, look at me." When she refused he pushed his hand deeper into the exposed skin of her stomach, scorching her flesh. "Look at me",he growled.

When she finally complied, he let go. She sighed as a cure spell washed over her.

Smiling, Sebastian cupped her cheek and brought his face over her's. "That's a good girl. You'll be having company soon enough and we want you on your best behavior." With that he turned and left the room, whistling.

Zalera laid there, knowing exactly who he was talking about. It was the man that Yeul had seen many times in her visions. The man that could either save or destroy the last of mankind. _If they get a hold of him, humanity won't survive. Nothing will. _


	7. Loss

**A/N: Well I spent most of my free time, when I should have been focusing on my school work, writing this chapter. I just had to get it written and out of my head. **

**Great news: new chapter. Sad news: due to my excitement about continuing my story and subsequent procrastination with school, there most likely won't be another update for a couple weeks. I really hope (dear Maker, this word will never be the same for me again) that I'm wrong and I find the time, but I doubt it. ****Reality bites.**

**Well enjoy the new chapter and review. I do read and love all reviews. Thanks for reading! :)**

* * *

An annoying beeping sound woke Lightning from her deep, dreamless sleep. She reached over and slammed her hand down on the alarm clock beside her. Rolling onto her back, Lightning stared at the ceiling contemplating going back to sleep. She was still stuck off duty for a few more days, no one would miss her. She was doomed to spend her day bored, lazing around her apartment. Then she remembered her deal with Hope. She did have work to do. Quickly jumping out of bed, she sped into the shower.

At six-twenty Lightning was showered and dressed. As she went to holster her gunblade, her comm rang. It was a number Lightning didn't recognize, but she answered anyway. "Hello?"

A women with a soft and smooth yet confident tone answered on the other end. "Hi, it's Nivien La Salle. Is this Lightning?"

Lightning was stunned. Out of everyone in the world, she would have never guessed it to be Nivien. "Um... yes."

"Sorry to call you out of the blue but... are you seeing Hope today?"

_Why is she calling _me _about Hope? _"Yeah. I'm working with him today actually."

There was a short pause on the other end of the line. "Oh... well I... I wanted to make sure you knew what today was... in case no one told you."

Lightning furrowed her brow and put a hand on her hip. She had no idea that there was a significance to the day, but since it had only been four days since her awakening, she wasn't surprised in the least. Although she didn't understand why Nivien would be concerned about her knowing - concerned enough to get her number and call her herself. "I didn't know today was anything special but... why are you telling me about it?"

There were a few muffled shouts on the other end of the line, causing Lightning to wince at the sound. "Sorry about that. Um... well it's not a special day it's just... it's the anniversary. Hope's father... Bartholomew he... he died a year ago today."

Lightning had been standing in front of the couch, but immediately sat down on it's edge. It hadn't even occurred to Lightning to ask about when the assassination attempt had happened. She just figured Hope would tell her about it when he was ready. "I uh... didn't know."

She could hear Nivien sigh over the phone. "I figured. Hope doesn't talk about it much... or at all really." Moments of silence crept by before Nivien continued. "I wanted to make sure you knew so you could... I don't know... look out for him? Make sure he's alright and try to be careful about the subject today. Hope really shouldn't be working but", Nivien chuckled hollowly, "he never stops."

Lightning rubbed her temple with her free hand. It seemed that Nivien cared deeply for Hope - enough to call an almost complete stranger to look out for him. "Thanks for the call. And of course I'll watch out for him."

"Alright thanks. Have a good day... Lightning."

"Yeah, you too. Bye." Lightning sighed as she hung up and put her comm back in her pouch. Slouching and falling back into the couch, she pinched the bridge of her nose. She laughed bitterly as she thought about her's and Hope's arguments the day before. '_Did you learn nothing from the assassination attempt?' __Maker, I'm such an idiot. I brought it up in one of the worst ways possible the day before the anniversary. I practically threw it in his face. _Lightning groaned. Now Hope's frustration the night before made perfect sense. All the stuff he'd said about his parents dying in front of him... for him. _The pain is still fresh. _

She hadn't wanted to dwell on Bartholomew's death and Hope's misery, so the fact that his death had been so recent, hadn't struck Lightning. A year can be a long time, but when it comes to the death of a loved one, it might as well have been last week. Add in the fact that the event had been so traumatic, and that he hadn't had real emotional support - with his family dead and most of his friends gone - she wondered how Hope could even function.

* * *

Lightning knocked lightly on Hope's office door. When she heard nothing, she tried again. After the third try, she slowly opened the door, cautious to make sure another door-to-nose incident wouldn't ensue. She walked in and closed the door behind her. Looking around the office, she found Hope sprawled out on the sofa with a book open on his chest. He was still in his same clothes from dinner the day before and he had bags under his eyes, so Lightning deduced he hadn't gone home last night. _He promised me he wouldn't work too late. I shouldn't have let him work at all. _Looking over at his desk, she noticed just how much work Hope had to do_. _The thick stack of paperwork that she had noticed two days before, had grown into a tower and even had a slightly smaller stack beside it keeping it company. Lightning winced at the thought of how much work he had to do, on one of the worst days to have to work, and walked over to him. She picked up the book, slipping it out of his weak grasp. _'Fabula Nova Crystallis' huh? I guess he decided to continue his research. _She looked at his sleeping form, concern and sadness washing over her. She knew how Hope would be when she woke him up and how he would act the rest of the day. He'd be a wreck on the inside, while putting on a smile and acting as if everything was fine.

She knew he'd be miserable for the remainder of the day but for right now, he was serene. As long as he was asleep, the troubles of the real world couldn't touch him and neither could his pain from the year before. Watching his chest slowly rise and fall, she sat beside him on the small space left on the couch. She brushed his bangs from his eyes and rested her hand on his face, cupping his cheek. She stayed like that for a few moments before her hand gently slid down to his chin, then to his collar, until it stopped on his chest. Her hand crept into his that sat there, previously clutching the book. It was the gentlest touch as she tried to not wake the peaceful Hope. She couldn't bear to bring him back to the reality that only sleep could steal him away from. Feeling his warm touch and his calm heartbeat under her hand, Lightning felt that indescribable emotion arrest her once again. It seemed it only occurred when she was with Hope. Her hand shot back to her side. _What is happening to me? This is Hope. I'm supposed to protect him, not..._

She clumsily stood and took a few steps back from him, grateful that she hadn't woken him up. Replaying the small span of events that had just taken place, she shook her head. "What am I doing", Lightning asked, whispering to herself. Hope stirred, barely moving but caused Lightning to jump out of her skin. She looked to the floor and back at him. Staring at his face, she couldn't rid herself of the new emotion that had wormed it's way into her body. She wasn't sure she even wanted to. Walking back over to him, she knelt down in front of his face and traced a finger below his eye over the swollen bump she had caused. Then she brushed it along his bottom lip. Her heart beat wildly as her body registered her desire before her mind could. _This is ridiculous. _Before she could do anything else to the completely unaware Hope before her, she grasped his shoulder and shook him awake.

Hope groggily opened his eyes and sat up. "Oh hey Light. What time is it?" He rubbed his eyes as he looked at her. _She looks mad. I knew I should have stopped and gone home last night._ He looked around the couch for the book he'd been reading but stopped when Lightning held it out for him.

Lightning fixed him with a stern look, trying to cover her still reeling emotions. A part of Hope's hair was standing up, messily out of place from sleeping. It was cute and Lightning had to force her emerging smile back. "It's a quarter to seven. When did you fall asleep?" She tried to look deep into his eyes, hoping to convey her concern through her own, but felt herself drowning in his emerald gaze.

"I-I don't know actually. I started reading around four, so sometime after that I guess." Lightning stood and crossed her arms, voicing her displeasure through her stance. Hope sighed heavily through his nose. Standing up, he put a hand on her shoulder. "I know. You don't have to yell at me. I meant to go home... I just got caught up reading and crashed." He gave her his sweet look of innocence, pleading for her to let it lie.

Hope's grasp on her shoulder was so gentle yet firm. It made her crave his touch even more. Once his eyes had locked back on hers, after giving her his reasons for disobeying her orders, she felt that feeling that she now new only Hope could make her feel.

As he waited for her to respond, Hope saw an emotion pass over Lightning's face that he hadn't ever seen on the usually hardened soldier, and it scared him a little.

Confusion and concern crept into his expression and Lightning took a step back from him. _Today is about Hope's father. He shouldn't be concerned about me._"Hope." She trembled as his name passed through her lips. _Willpower Farron. Use it. This is just... you are a soldier. _"You should go home. Get some rest." Hope stared at her, obviously still concerned about her odd behavior.

"Is something wrong? Did I-" Hope stepped toward her but she sidestepped around him and stood in front of the couch.

"No you didn't do anything but... you need your rest and-"

"You know. Don't you?" Hope cast his eyes down to the floor, biting his lip as he turned toward her.

Lightning knew what he was talking about and she was extremely grateful for his misinterpretation of her behavior. She shifted back into her commanding tone, attempting to slip into her usual self. "Really, you look like hell. You should go to bed. I can have Alyssa help me out with some stuff I don't understand and do some of your work for you."

Hope brought his gaze back up to meet hers and smiled meekly. "No Light, I'm fine." He stretched and went over to the table covered in odd metal parts. Opening the lone center drawer, he took out a stack of clothes. "I'll just take a shower in the shop, get changed and meet you back here in a half hour? Sound good?" He shut the drawer and awaited a reply.

She arched a brow. _So that's how you never leave the office. _"I can handle this, really. It's not like your opting out of work entirely, you're covered."

"No", Hope bit out. Lightning was taken aback by his harsh tone. "I need to work. I'm okay... really." Lightning reached out to give him a reassuring squeeze on the arm but he jerked away from her. "Please don't do this Light?"

Hope's request thoroughly confused her. "Do what?"

He rubbed his eyes with the thumb and forefinger of his free hand before looking at her. "It's enough that I'll have to face everyone else today. See their sad and concerned faces, hear their apologies. They'll do their best to comfort me but I don't want their pity. I just want to get through today okay?" He stared at the clothes in his hand and absentmindedly rubbed his shirt between his fingertips. "I thought that maybe I would catch a break since you didn't know, but I guess... you found out."

Lightning took in his words. It took all of her to not give him that pitiful expression that he despised. Instead she walked over to him and gave him a small hug. Immediately she switched into soldier mode, giving him exactly what he wanted; detachment from emotion. "Alright Director. Get your ass in gear then." She waved toward the door.

He smiled, thanking the heavens for whatever it was that awoke Lightning. He knew she was what would make this day bearable. He smiled and walked toward the door, stopping just before he passed through. "Thanks Light", said Hope with sincere gratitude. With that, he left.

* * *

The workshop was empty. No one was due for another two hours so Hope had the floor to himself. There were three showers in the back of the shop. He undressed and threw his clothes to the ground. Stepping into the first shower, he pulled the curtain closed and turned the water on. For the first few moments, he just stood there, letting the hot water run down his body, attempting to wash away his growing sorrow. He leaned against the wall as the memories ran through his mind.

He remembered everything. Every single detail. The whole incident had only taken a few minutes, but it had felt like an eternity as he had watched his father fall to the floor, clutching his chest in pain. As his father hit the ground, the man aimed his gun at a frozen Hope and was seconds from firing, when he'd been shot dead from behind. Immediately snapping out of his shock, Hope knelt by his father and grabbed onto his shirt, shaking him. His eyes were closed... he wasn't breathing... he was gone. When it had been over, his father and three men had lost their lives in exchange for his own. And just like with his mother, he hadn't gotten to say goodbye.

Hope shook his head. _I can't do this. I'll never get through today if I keep letting my mind fall back there._

* * *

After Hope left, Lightning walked over to his desk and dropped into his chair. Shifting into work mode, she grabbed a handful of papers from the immensely intimidating stack on his desk, hoping to get something done before her stubborn friend returned. The papers' subjects varied widely. Some were construction plans for future cities. Some were mission requests. Some were proposals and plans for future projects and inventions. Some were letters from businesses hoping to work with the Academy. Some were papers Lightning could hardly understand as they seemed to be written in some form of code. She sighed and laid the papers on the keyboard of Hope's open laptop. "I can't do anything." Realizing that she hated Hope's job even more then she had before, she closed her eyes and raked her hand through her hair. She wanted to help him and she was going to, he deserved the help, but she wasn't sure how. _I guess, I should just wait til he gets back._

Her arm fell back to her side, resting on the arm rest as she kept her eyes closed. Her thoughts turned back to where they seemed to always land when she let her mind wander, to Hope. The way she had begun to think about him, the way she had felt near him, and the way her hands had seemed magnetized to him while he was asleep, baffled her. Those things had never happened to her around anyone else. It's not something pre-l'Cie Lightning had ever experienced. She began to realize that she was becoming a bit too familiar with Hope but she wasn't sure if it was a bad thing. She was becoming so close with him. It was bound to happen sometime, with someone. _But Hope? _Serah had been the only one Lightning had ever allowed inside her heart. Although it was hard to imagine letting Hope in, she couldn't imagine it being anyone else. _But what does this mean? What is it that I feel for you Hope?_

A soft knock on the door freed Lightning from her thoughts. Before she could answer, the door opened as Alyssa popped her head inside.

"Hello? I-" Alyssa's smile shrunk seeing Lightning in Hope's chair, obviously startled by the unexpected difference in her morning routine. "Oh, hi Lightning. I didn't expect to find you in here. Do you need something?" She walked over to the desk, staring at the papers strewn across it.

Lightning crossed her arms. "No", the soldier simply stated.

Alyssa raised a brow at Lightning's curt reply. "Oh well... where is the Director anyway?"

"He went to take a shower." Lightning figured it was best to keep her replies short and to-the-point in order to stave off any unwanted conversation with the perky assistant. She may not come off as the nicest person in the world, but it's not like she ever cared about that much before.

Alyssa looked at Lightning with a confused gaze. "Well, if there is anything that you wanted to speak with him about, I'm sure I could help you with it. The Director is a very busy per-"

"There isn't." Alyssa frowned, unsure as to why Lightning was being so standoffish. She reached over Lightning to rearrange and clear some of the papers on Hope's desk, but the soldier grabbed Alyssa's wrist. "That's not necessary. I'm looking over these."

Alyssa stepped back and put her hands on her hips, fixing Lightning with a look she had never seen on the usual cheery girl before. "No offense Lightning, but much of the Director's work is very complicated... not to mention classified. I'm sorry but I think I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Lightning's eyes darted up to Alyssa's. She sighed and rolled her eyes. _Looks like she's not going away anytime soon. _"Hope already knows I'm here." Alyssa's expression softened. "I'm helping him out today. He said that I could."

At that Alyssa backed off. "Oh... I... guess that's fine. I wasn't sure he would be working today though because of... well... plus he worked so late last night. But it's not like that's not usual."

Hearing that, Lightning felt herself click into protective mode. "And you just let him?" Lightning stood and walked towards her, backing her into a corner. "You just let Hope work himself to death and say absolutely nothing to him? You knew he was here last night when he should have been asleep? What's the matter with you? You just smile and do whatever he asks? Some friend you are."

Although Alyssa was afraid of the Lightning before her, she spoke, justifying herself and her actions. "With all do respect, he isn't my friend."

"What", asked Lightning, not expecting the reply.

"As much as I wish we were, we aren't friends", responded Alyssa shakily. "Hope has made it clear that we have a working relationship. He is simply my boss. I have no real say in his actions. I have expressed my concern about his over dedication to his job before, but really it's not my place."

* * *

Hope walked towards his office but stopped as he grabbed the handle, remembering the reason he had stayed up all night. The urgent message Alyssa had tried to get to Hope the day before was about the crystal mission. When Hope finally managed to get a hold of Alyssa, and after hearing what she had to say, he wished he hadn't heard any of it at all.

They had found nothing. Thirty men, including Sazh and Rygdea, had searched throughout all of Etro's shrine and found nothing. Now they were coming back and were going to have to reevaluate the whole plan to see if it was worth the manpower and resources to continue their search. As much as he hated the thought, Hope knew the likeliness of the mission's continuance, and it wasn't very likely. If the crystals truly existed, they could be anywhere throughout all of Gran Pulse. They couldn't really search everywhere and they really needed to focus most of their time on rebuilding their civilization as well as protecting it.

It had been a long shot in the first place but Hope had believed that this plan would work. While he was searching for possible locations of the crystals, Etro's shrine seemed like one of the most logical places. It's the reason why the mission's success and future continuance hindered on what they found there. He had really thought they'd find a piece there. It was not only the logic behind the location, but the feeling Hope had gotten at the idea. He felt drawn to it. Like something inside him had told him that a crystal shard was there.

But despite the logic and Hope's strong vibe, it wasn't. And now he was going to have to tell Lightning. He let out a shaky breath and walked into his office. He shut the door behind him and turned to find a very pissed Lightning standing in front of a cowering Alyssa in the corner. _What in the world?_ "Um... Light? Alyssa? Whats-" Alyssa smiled and stepped around Lightning.

"Hi Director. We were just..." Alyssa stopped momentarily glancing at Lightning, who was now staring at the wall. "...just having a chat about some paperwork. How are you today? You look a little tired."

Hope, furrowing his brow at Lightning, replied, "I'm alright." He walked over to his desk and shuffled around some papers, hoping to move off the topic of his health. "I have a lot of papers to get through today and Lightning will be assisting me with them. If you could take notes for me at the one o'clock meeting and meet with the... Smith Tech company for me at three, I would greatly appreciate it."

Alyssa shifted. "Of course Director but you know I could help you with some of your paperwork as well?" She bounced a bit uneasily on her heels and folded her hands behind her back.

Not looking up from a page he was staring intently at, he waved her off. "That would be unnecessary, but thank you."

Alyssa frowned a bit but put on her usual smile, before turning toward the door. "Alright then."

As Alyssa closed the door, Hope turned toward Lightning. She was still staring at the previously occupied corner, arms crossed, looking extremely displeased. "What was that really about?"

Lightning turned to face him, her expression remaining intact. "I'm not fond of your assistant", was all she said as she walked over to help Hope with his work.

For the next five hours, Hope and Lightning buckled down on the pages on his desk. Through this, Lightning learned much more about Hope's job as well as the many functions of the Academy.

Many previous and new companies and businesses wanted things from them. Most wanted sponsorships, partnerships and construction approvals. In order to consider their proposals, Hope and Lightning looked them over, and investigated the companies and businesses to make sure they were legitimate, and would be prospectively successful, before ultimately approving or denying their requests.

After conquering all of those proposals, they moved on to the plans for future and current inventions and projects. They ranged from small plans like upgrades on weapons to much larger plans like the shield project that Hope and Maqui were intimately involved with. Looking over the blueprints, Lightning found she didn't understand much of the specifications, but with Hope's extensive background in mechanics, he handled most of them while giving her simple explanations and descriptions.

The work was tedious and boring, but with each others company, it was bearable. Almost arguably fun. Even with the dull topics and work, Hope's kind and funny personality shone through, as well as Lightning's. No matter how much she tried to keep her soldier, business front up, Hope managed to pull out pieces of her true self with little effort. At one point, as Lightning was reading over a page and laughing at one of Hope's grumblings about needing an assistant for his assistant, he couldn't help but stare at her smile. He loved how it made him feel, especially since he was one of the few that could coax it into appearing. It showed her soft side that she rarely let others see. He knew, even if she would never say it, that she cared about him a lot. Although he'd initially been reluctant to receive her help, he cherished her presence and assistance.

At around twelve thirty, the duo had moved on to mission requests. This made Hope a bit hesitant to continue. He had yet to tell her about the status of the crystal mission. Knowing that he should tell her before it inevitably came up along the way, he halted their progress.

"Light?" Hope stood and walked around to the front of the desk, leaning on it, with his hands grasping it at his sides. Since they had started working, they'd moved the couch much closer to the desk so Lightning would have a place to sit while she worked. It was only a few feet away from the front of the desk, and now only a few feet from Hope. Lightning was sitting sideways, back against the armrest, legs extended in front of her, with a fresh handful of documents in her lap.

Eyes still scanning the paper before her, she hummed in response. When Hope didn't continue, she turned her head to face him. His expression was full of conflicting emotions, making her uneasy. He was staring directly at her and she knew that it had to be serious. Shoving the papers off of her, she slid her legs off the couch, sat up, and gave her full attention to the man before her. "Yeah Hope?"

"I really should have said something earlier but... I wasn't sure what to say. I still don't really know what to say." He rubbed the back of his head. Staring at the floor, he tried to find the right words that would make things go smoother but in truth, Hope wasn't sure how she would react to his next words no matter how he spun it. She could be pissed and angry at the mission's failure and for him not telling her sooner. She could get sad and depressed because of her sister. Or she could stay stoic, only revealing her true emotions to herself later. Swallowing harshly, he brought his eyes back up to meet her blue orbs. Even though Lightning was exceptional at hiding her emotions, he couldn't help but notice the hint of nervousness in her eyes. He felt a tad prideful knowing that not many people could decipher her emotions at all. "They didn't find anything Light..." He waited a few moments until understanding crept into her expression. "It's the reason I was reading the book so late last night. I was trying to find more clues."

Lightning wasn't sure how to take the news. She had known that there was a big, no ginormous, chance that the crystal wouldn't be there. But a faint glimmer of hope had toyed with her and her emotions. That hope, as well as the one before her, had left her wanting the piece of crystal to be there more than she should have ever allowed herself. "So what does that mean? Where do we go from here?" Hope's face seemed to fall even more, and she knew that the news couldn't get better from there.

He cleared his throat. "We... or I go over the plans again with the General and Rygdea. We decide if it's worth searching more possible locations."

As much as Lightning tried to hold back her optimistic expression, Hope noticed it all the same. "So they might continue with the plan?"

It crushed him to have to tell her but he had to. "The whole mission really depended on this one, and without it's success, I highly doubt that they'll move forward... with the plan." Hope watched as the smallest amount of pain seemed to cross her face.

"But-" Lightning tried to stay calm. She didn't want to let her emotions flow freely, even if it was only Hope, but she found it incredibly hard to keep them reined in. All of her fear, guilt and love for her sister came to the forefront of her mind and her heart at that moment. She hadn't realized before how much stock she'd really put into the mission. The news made her heart hurt. She clutched her chest, trying desperately to keep herself in check.

Noticing how badly Lightning was taking it, Hope pushed his papers off the couch and sat beside her. He pulled her into an embrace. Although the contact was relatively new between the two, it had become a reflex that neither could deny.

Feeling Hope around her, she felt her will break. Her control over her emotions cracking quickly until it was nothing but dust. A few tears slipped through her eyes as she sat there in his arms. Suddenly she felt a rush of frustration fly through her. Like with the lamp the other day, she just had to throw or hit something. With only Hope in her nearest proximity, she began to hit and punch his chest, letting out all of her anger. She wasn't mad at Hope, not in the least. In fact she was actually grateful for his comfort and honesty. But as she had lost her struggle for dominance over her emotions, she couldn't control her need to destroy.

Hope never let her go. Even as her blows began to hurt him, he continued to hold her, knowing it was what she needed. If being her punching bag allowed her to let out her grief, then that's what he'd be. He felt honored to be allowed to see her raw emotion.

As minutes ticked by, Lightning calmed considerably until she was still, remaining quiet. She let out one last sniffle, before pulling away from him. She felt embarrassment strike her as her mind finally began to temper her storm of feelings. Mentally scolding herself, Lightning wiped away the last remnants of tears from her eyes. "I'm sorry."

Hope smiled before getting up, picking up her papers, setting them back on the couch and returning to his desk. He was fully aware of how she felt about exposing herself. Even though they were close, to her, there was no excuse. She always wanted everyone to think that vulnerability was something she didn't have. And he'd just seen an immense portion of it. "For what", he asked coolly. Grabbing a page from the pile of mission briefs, he was careful to try and seem as if nothing had happened, falling back into his work.

Lightning looked at him, confused until she understood his gesture. He was attempting to spare her the shame she would no doubt put on herself. "Thank you", was all she said before picking up her papers from the couch and assuming her previous position.

Although Hope had been unbelievably kind in pretending that she hadn't made a total fool of herself, Lightning still beat herself up on the inside. _I can't believe I did that. I have no right. Not when it's his father's... Serah is still alive. It's me that should be helping him with his grief not the other way around. _

The mission briefs and requests were a bit more interesting than the rest of his paperwork, but still left her bored out of her mind. They were mostly about missions on mapping out Pulse. They still had a lot more of the world to discover, and who knew how much they were going to continue to explore. The rest were about surveying possible city locations. With those, all Hope had to do was consider them, look over the location, the time and money that was proposed, and approve or deny them before sending them back to the Calvary, to go over with construction crews.

Finishing up around three, Hope and Lightning's brains were spent. As Hope readied himself to shift into mechanic gear, and go to work on his shield project, Lightning stopped him. She wanted him to relax a bit and decided that they should take a late lunch. He reluctantly agreed, realizing that it would be good for a brief reprieve from work.

It was a gorgeous day as the sun shone brightly through the clouds. With the beautiful weather in mind, Hope had suggested that they eat their lunch outside. He even knew of a great street vendor in a kiosk called Academia's Finest. The woman who served the pair, as well as owned the small business, was an elderly woman of sixty five named Jun. It seemed that Hope and her knew each other rather well and that the woman adored him. After talking with her for a few minutes while waiting for their food, the two made their way over to the stone steps in front of the Academy base. Sitting, they ate in silence for a while.

Lightning sighed. "So, Jun seems nice."

Hope nodded, turning slightly to look at her. "She is. She's really nice."

"You guys seem pretty chummy. Do you just eat there a lot or..."

Hope finished chewing and swallowed. "I used to but... I guess I got too caught up with work and started working through lunch, so it's been a while."

Lightning sensed Hope holding something back so she pressed further. "And..."

Hope raised a brow. "And what?"

"Nothing", Lightning said, conveying through her tone that she knew of his half truth.

When he had finished eating, Hope leaned back on the stone steps, relaxing. He couldn't even remember the last time he had eaten, let alone enjoyed lunch. It was amazing how something so simple as lunch could make him feel so happy. The food, atmosphere, company was all perfect .Yet he felt he was about to ruin it all with one question that threatened to tumble from his lips. It had been nagging at him for the better part of a half hour, and in not wanting to upset his beautiful temporary coworker, he'd kept his trap shut. But seeing as their lunch was drawing to a close, Hope felt the need to ask arise.

"Light, I have a question for you but you don't have to answer if you don't want to", said Hope, staring into the sky.

The question broke Lightning from her thoughts and caught her off guard. "Shoot." Lightning looked at Hope to find him staring off into the clouds, his eyes glazed over like he was worlds away. She was about to jostle him when he spoke.

"Does the pain ever lessen?" He never took his eyes away from the sky as his tone remained even, words clear, despite the heaviness of them. "Of a loved one's death I mean."

"What?" Lightning blinked in surprise at the question that seemed to come out of nowhere. Then again the whole day was one constant reminder for Hope about one of the worst days of his life. Struggling to find a suitable answer, Lightning clasped her hands together.

Hope ran his hand down his tie, awaiting an answer that seemed would never come. "It's alright Light. Like I said, you don't have to answer."

"No", Lightning quickly replied. "I want to, just..." Hope was trying to talk out his problems. He had been there for her, why couldn't she muster up the courage to be there for him? She just never allowed herself to remember her parents' deaths or the emotional toll they had put on her and Serah. "I don't think I'm the right person to ask."

"Why not?"

"I'd like to say yes, that with time the pain lessens and slowly fades but... I think that... I forced it to fade. By not letting myself dwell on my past, I cut off most of my emotions with them." She searched Hope's face for a sign of understanding, but his expression hadn't changed. Looking up into the sky, she hoped to find the same peace he seemed to hold. "I do think of them every once in a while, it's hard to push them out completely, so I do feel the pain sometimes. Like I said, I'm not the person to ask."

"Thank you." Lightning furrowed her brow and looked at him, stunned, figuring her answer to have been no help at all.

"But I-"

Hope, finally breaking his eyes away from the glowing sky, looked into Lightning's confused gaze. "You told me how you honestly felt. You didn't give me some cheap answer in an attempt to make me feel better. Thank you Light."

Lightning felt an odd mixture of pride and courage soar into her chest as he smiled at her. Maybe sharing her thoughts and feelings wasn't so bad. "Hope, do you... want to … never mind." It was a stupid idea. He already has to think about his father's death, bringing up that would just be wrong and painful.

Sitting up, he gave her his full attention. "What Light?"

Too late. She had already brought it up. Might as well finish what she started. "I was just wondering if you... wanted to know how my parents died." She averted her gaze from him, but Hope gently pressed his hand to her cheek opposite him, and turned her face to look at him.

"Yes, but only if you want to tell me." His eyes were full of such certainty, such confidence that it reminded her of the boy he once was - when he had given them his speech before their journey into Pulse.

Straightening herself up and focusing mainly on fact and memory, not emotion, she prepped her mind. "My father died when I was six. He'd died in a head on collision. My mother had been in the car with him. They said it was a miracle she survived, but it was as if a piece of her died in there with him. My sister was too young to notice, being three and all. Hell, I hadn't really noticed until almost two years later." Lightning sighed. "She never looked at another car the same way again. And the way she hugged us, there was such desperation in her eyes, like she thought that every time she embraced us, it would be the last." Her hair had fallen into her eyes covering Hope's expression from her view, but she preferred it that way. That way she couldn't talk herself out of finishing. "Although Serah had always said that she was jealous of me because she couldn't remember our father, I always wished that I didn't. I know now that the thought is unbelievably childish but... By the time I was fifteen, my mother had gotten deathly ill. My sister and I had to watch our mother slowly die for months before her heart finally gave out."

When she had finished, Hope didn't know what to say. When Lightning had told him about her parents before, he thought that they had died together, not that it had been two separate incidents. It seemed they were more alike then he thought. But he couldn't believe she had told him something so personal. It was so unlike her. The whole day she'd actually been really sloppy with hiding her feelings. It should have made him feel excited and ecstatic about their friendship finding more depth with them becoming closer. Instead, he felt slightly anxious that something may be wrong.

He had been known to worry too much. His mind often slipped into paranoia but with the many terrible and tragic events in his past, how could it not? It often seemed he'd have a few blessed moments, just to have it all stripped away in a cataclysmic event that would leave him with nothing. Quickly, he brushed off the feelings and thoughts threatening his new happiness. Lightning was letting him in. Although her story had left him deeply saddened by her previous, and most likely still very current pain, he couldn't stop the small feeling of joy rise from within him. He had never dreamed the soldier, his mentor, great friend, and secret love of his life would ever open up to him this much. Especially so soon after her awakening. It meant he was doing something right. Before too much time had passed, he gently clasped her hand in his, and squeezed it.

The words had come much easier then she thought they would. She hadn't told anyone about her parents' deaths, but it was so easy when she told Hope. She wasn't completely sure why she had told him. It was wrong of her and she knew it. It was his day to grieve. A part of her though, knew exactly why she had. She thought that maybe by telling him, he would tell her - about what happened with his father, about how he felt. Maybe it would elicit him to deal with the pain and not bury it like she had for so long. He was becoming so much like her already, she really didn't think he needed to learn anything else from her. When he took her hand, she was startled, but after he squeezed it, she felt that warm feeling overtake her once more. So, she squeezed back. Staring at his face, slight concern about his previous injury crept over her. "How's the eye?"

The corner of Hope's lip twitched upwards. "How's the leg?" They chuckled softly, both aware that neither of them cared much for their injuries at the moment.

As he went to speak, his comm went off. Lightning quickly broke the contact, turning her attention back to the slowly drifting clouds. Groaning inwardly, Hope reached for it and answered. "Hello... right...no...i'll be right there Alyssa...thanks." Hope hung up and put his hand on Lightning's shoulder. "Time to get back to work. Care to join me in a meeting?"

Lightning rolled her eyes. "Oh joy." She smiled at him and stood, holding out her hand to help him up.

* * *

Managing to get to a meeting early for once, even if it was only by a few minutes, Hope was proud of himself. He sat beside Lightning in a companionable silence, awaiting their third party member.

At exactly four o'clock on the dot, a knock sounded from the door. Alyssa opened the door and came in, followed by a man. He was tall, about 6'3", with a lean build, well dressed in a suit and tie, with shoulder length black hair. "Here we are Mr. Hildough. Director... Lightning." Alyssa nodded toward the two and left.

Hope stood and went to shake his hand. "It's been a while Reuben."

The man smiled and accepted the gesture, taking Hope's hand in a vice-like grip, nearly crushing it. "Too long kid Director." He let out a throaty laugh as Hope rolled his eyes and they took their seats. His voice was very deep but he had a very sharp and crisp way of speaking. "And who is our lovely company today?"

Hope turned to Lightning. "This is Sergeant Lightning Farron. She's a good friend of mine and is helping me out with some things today. And Light, this is Reuben Hildough, Representative of Academia."

Reuben went to shake her hand and was taken aback by her strong hold. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance."

Lightning smiled. "Likewise."

Moving on topic Hope clapped his hands together. "So, I assume you've spoken with the General?"

Reuben turned his gaze away from Lightning, seeming a bit reluctant, and looked back at Hope. "I have. He has explained to me the Yeul situation. That poor girl. I understand you think she was some sort of psychic?"

"We have reason to believe so. We aren't sure but we do need to know if the Sanctum has had any involvement in her death, or if they know anything about her at all. It will lead to how we continue to treat the situation."

Reuben shifted slightly in his seat. "I am flattered at how confident you are in my skills but you do know this is the Sanctum right? Most likely anything I say or do will be a futile attempt. I mean yes they are willing to negotiate and work on some things with me but this..."

Hope nodded. "Yes we are well aware. But it is mainly a precaution. We want to cover all of our bases just in case. To them, it won't be the real reason you're there anyway. Just a side discussion you will bring up while informing them of our expansion and discussing more about our current trade negotiations."

A soft knock caught everyone's attention as they turned to look at the door. "Yes", called Hope.

Alyssa stepped partially inside the door. "May I speak with you, Director? It's a bit urgent."

"Of course." Hope stood. "If you'll excuse me for a moment."

After they stepped out, the room was overcome with silence before Reuben spoke. "So you would not happen to be the previous l'Cie, Lightning? Would you?"

Lightning raised a brow and tilted her head. "That I am."

"Ah, I see. I have heard stories of your great feats of strength and your constant challenging of the impossible. I must say I am quite impressed." He smoothed out the front of his jacket with his hand as he sat up straighter. "Although I thought our good Director had been overstating your unbelievable beauty, I was mistaken."

Lightning blushed and shifted uncomfortably in her seat at the flattery. She wasn't sure how to handle the situation. In most other cases, Lightning had always told anyone who dared to approach the hardened soldier, to buzz off, usually not even in that nice of a way. But this was a powerful man that Hope worked very closely with and seemed to be friends with. Even though, Hope seemed to be friends with everyone, she had to be courteous and gracious. It wasn't that he wasn't attractive, or that he didn't seem very nice, it was simply that she wasn't interested. She went to speak but stopped when the door opened.

"Terribly sorry about that", apologized Hope as he stepped into the room. Reuben stood as he entered.

"No it is quite alright. I best be off now anyway. I have another meeting to attend and arrangements to make before I head off to the city of the ignorant, pig-headed, Sanctum."

Hope chuckled and Lightning couldn't help but smile. "Already? Well alright, we must meet up sometime soon. It's been far too long."

"Yes well, Miss Harleen will be having her annual soiree in due time."

Hope rubbed the back of his neck. "Right, wouldn't want to miss that."

Reuben laughed and clapped Hope on the shoulder. "I am sure she will not be so forward this time." He turned to Lightning as she stood and walked over to the two. "And I do hope you come along too. It would be a blessing to have such an astonishing young women in our midst." Hope averted his gaze to the floor, as Reuben and Lightning shook hands, him slipping a card into her grasp. "Well I am off." He left the room to Hope and Lightning.

Hope shook his head and smiled as he looked over at Lightning. "Get his card?"

Lightning was quite intrigued as to how he knew. She opened her palm to see, and there, was Reuben's business card. "How'd you know?"

Hope shrugged his shoulders. "I had a hunch." Lightning raised a brow at him. "It was obvious enough he was interested. And I'm usually pretty dense when it comes to flirtation. Plus, who wouldn't take the chance to hit on you?" Hope grinned as Lightning blushed slightly and elbowed him in the ribs.

Over the next few hours, Hope worked on more poles and wiring for the shield project, all the while explaining the basics of the construction and having Lightning help with minor things. The wiring was the most intricate and time-consuming thing which took a lot of concentration, so there wasn't much conversation to be had between the two. By the time he had finished with a second pole, Lightning cut him off.

"Light, I-"

Lightning shook her head before taking his gloves off his hands. "No you need rest. And you owe me for yesterday."

Hope sighed. "Why do I get the feeling I'm going to be working a lot less with you around?"

"Yeah, yeah. And you _are_ going home. I will drag you back to that house if I have to."

Hope walked over to the corner where his jacket hung on a hook, and snatched it up. He put it back on, buttoned it up and walked back over to Lightning. "That won't be necessary but I do have to stop back in my office."

Lightning turned and began walking back towards the door. "Then I'll accompany you", she called over her shoulder. Hope smirked as he followed.

* * *

They entered Hope's office and he immediately went over to his bookshelf, grabbing a few books. Lightning frowned at the sight of the new pile of papers on his desk. It wasn't near the size of the old one but it was well on it's way, being a third of the previous stack in only a few hours. "Well that's depressing."

Hope looked over his shoulder and smiled. "Yeah, it kinda is isn't it?" He stepped away from the shelves and brought four books over to his desk.

"Those aren't going home with you. You're going home to rest, not to continue working under the guise of reading", Lightning scolded, putting a hand on her hip.

Hope gave her a crooked grin. "Compromise? Come on Light, I gotta do something."

"Yeah, relax. That's all you need to do."

Hope blew out a sigh. "Fine." He walked over and fell onto the couch. Lightning, still as tense as ever, remained in her stance. "Light?"

Lightning sat beside him. "What?"

"Why did you tell me about your parents?" Her shoulders tensed as her eyes darted away from him. "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you did but... why?"

Sighing, Lightning thought hard about what to say. She was completely unprepared for the question and wasn't sure how to answer it. Deciding to go with the one reason she knew, she turned to face him. "I didn't want you to keep your pain bottled up... like I do." Hope looked down at his hands as they played with his sleeve. "I thought that maybe if I told you... showed you that I could, you would too." She tried to look into his eyes, but he kept them focused on his sleeve. "I'm sorry. It was wrong and... manipulative-"

"Don't." Hope looked back up into her eyes. "Don't apologize. I'm grateful for your concern, really Light I am but..." He stopped. He didn't want to talk about it. He knew once he did, there would be no turning back. Truth was, he wasn't sure he could handle it and he didn't need to break down in front of her. But she was right. She had told him something equally painful. it was only fair that he shared as well. "I-I guess I could but..." He smiled hoping to lighten the mood a bit before undoubtedly darkening it soon enough. "...only if I get to take my books home."

Lightning rolled her eyes. "Fine."

Hope's smile faded as he swallowed. "We were on the fifth floor. My... dad had called me in to discuss some things about Sanctum city. W-we had been receiving threats from them for a while, but the number of them had grown significantly within the past few weeks. Because of that, he wanted to keep me... safe. He was going to put me on lock down in our house, guarded by G.C. Soldiers." Hope stood and walked over to the table on the left side of the room. "Of course, I refused. I didn't want to be cowering in my house while others had to deal with the threat. So we began arguing and... I was so stupid. I should have just..." He began fiddling with some of the mechanical parts on the table. "Anyway, next thing I knew, we we hearing gunshots. Two guards went down in front of us." Hope sighed. "It all happened so fast. The shooting... the shouts. I couldn't even see who was shooting until my father had been hit. I-just... and I froze. When my father fell to the ground, it was like I couldn't move. Then I saw the man. He had been disguised in a G.C. uniform. I heard shouts from... Nivien behind me telling me to move and to get down but I couldn't move my legs. I thought for sure, I was going to die but then... he was shot in the back of the head. He was dead and so was my father. I-"

He stopped abruptly. Lightning felt her heart ache. His back was to her but she could see his shoulders tense and heard him sniffle. Walking over to him she put her arms around him and rested her head on his back. She could feel his ragged breathing as he attempted to keep calm.

They stood there for a while before he continued. "I didn't even get to say goodbye. He was just gone."

Lightning let go of him and tugged on his sleeve so he would turn around. He complied. She wiped away some of his tears from his eyes before resting her hand on his cheek. He brought his hand up, covering hers. A tingling feeling coursed through her body at the contact. "We should get going", Lightning suggested before stepping away.

Hope collected his things for the next few minutes and was almost ready to head out, when his door opened to reveal Maqui.

Hope went to speak but Lightning talked over him. "Don't you knock?" She was sitting on the couch, arms crossed.

Maqui grinned. "Perks to being the Director's best friend."

"Whatever Maqui. You make those perks up yourself", Hope mused.

Walking over, he clapped Hope on the back. "What, it's not like I interrupted anything right?"

Shaking his head, Hope pushed him back a few steps. "What did you want?"

His face turned serious as he rubbed his arm. "I just didn't get a chance to see you today and I uh..."

Hope smirked. "Lebreau sent you here didn't she?"

"Hey it's not like I don't care about you. I just don't have the need to fuss over you like she does." Maqui huffed and crossed his arms.

Chuckling, Hope turned toward him. "Well you can tell her that I'm fine."

"Good." Maqui watched as Hope grabbed the last of his things. Lightning stood and walked over, making Maqui visibly cringe a bit, causing her to smile. She insisted on taking a few of Hope's books off his hands. They all stepped out of Hope's office and waited as he locked it. Maqui decided to take the chance to voice his own concern for his friend before he lost it. "I am sorry Hope."

Hope turned and put a hand on Maqui's shoulder. "Thanks."

* * *

Hope stood alone in his empty house. Lightning had walked him home, and left only after threatening him that if he left before a decent time in the morning, his eye would be the least of his worries.

He walked into his study and set the books down on his desk. Ready to sit and read through them, one in particular, exhaustion began to settle into his body. He rubbed his eyes and stretched out, attempting to liven his tired body, but it was no use. Hope was beat.

Going back to his bedroom, he stumbled over his clothing from the day before. When he picked them up, an envelope fell from his pocket and floated to the floor. The memory of the previous day and the envelope made it's way into his mind at the sight of it. Throwing his clothes over to the bed, Hope picked up the envelope. He turned on his bedside lamp and sat on the edge of the bed. With the situation the day before, Hope hadn't had the time to ponder about his discovery, it's contents, or curious location. With a bit of trepidation, he opened the envelope. Hope's breath hitched in his throat. It was a letter, written in his father's handwriting.

_Dear Hope, _

_ First of all, I want to say that I'm sorry. You reading this means that I am gone. No matter the reason for my death, I am sorry. _

_ I decided to write this in dedication to your mother. She had always tried to get me to write one and seeing how much you cherish her letter, I figured it was about time to write my own. I always told Nora that the reason I never wanted to write one of these, was because it was bad luck. That once you wrote out your goodbyes, it was only a matter of time before you'd die. Truth was, I never really knew what to say. But for the past month, I have thought and thought about what the contents of this letter would read. I found it turned out to be more of an apology than a goodbye._

_ I really am sorry Hope. I'm sorry for never being there for you and your mother. I paid the price when I heard the news about the events in Bodhum. I wasn't there to protect you. I should have been and I regret it everyday. _

_ Although I lost Nora, I felt unbelievably lucky when I saw you in the doorway that day. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost both of you. _

_ I know I wasn't a very good father but I hope that you know that I love you. I always have, even if I was never very good at showing it. You were always a terrific boy and you have grown into an incredible young man. You have made me so proud. I know you will be the perfect leader for Academia and do exceptional work in my previous position. _

_ Your mother always said that there was a bittersweet happiness in writing these letters. It was in the thought that even though we were no longer alive, you were, and we would always be in your heart. Well I also found a bit more happiness in it. Hope, if your reading this, then that means that not only are you alive, but I managed to keep my promise. I made a promise to myself the day you came out of crystal stasis, that as long as I was alive, I wouldn't allow anything to harm you again. _

_ I'm so sorry that I'm not there to protect you anymore, but know that I am proud of who you are and who you've become, and that I love you deeply. _

_ -Love always, Dad_

After reading it over for what must have been a dozen more times, Hope's hands, still tightly clutching the letter, fell to his lap. A sharp pain seemed to pierce his chest as silent tears fell down his cheeks. He couldn't believe his father had written him a letter, and he couldn't believe it had taken him so long to find it.

Hope had loved his father, there was never any question of it. And he knew his father loved him as well. They'd had their differences and had butted heads on many occasions but that didn't mean they didn't love each other. But still Hope was left rather shocked at the letter's words. It was so uncharacteristic of his father to express his feelings so openly. In that moment, Hope allowed himself to remember his father, and to grieve completely.

Forty-five minutes passed by, until Hope finally picked himself up from his bed and walked over to his dresser. He opened the top drawer and slid over a few old garments before unveiling what he was looking for. There sat his mother's letter. The one she had written for him, just like his father had. Folding the letter back up, he placed it back in the envelope and set it beside his mother's. As he stared at their letters side by side, he felt he had to visit his father.

Quickly shutting the drawer, he grabbed a flashlight from his side table and slid it into his pouch. He rushed to the front door but stopped. _I'm sorry Light, but I have to do this. _Continuing forward, he left his house, heading toward the cemetery.

* * *

After leaving Hope's house, Lightning decided to not go back home. The cool night air invited Lightning for a walk and she accepted. It'd been an hour and the soldier was walking along the sidewalks of the city. The hustle of society had died down considerably. Few cars were in the street and there were even fewer civilians out.

Lightning's mind drifted off into thoughts of Hope's story. Images of it flashed through her mind as she visualized the event. Hope and his father arguing... the guards falling to the ground... then his father... the assassin aiming his gun at Hope... Hope huddled over his father's dead body... Lightning stopped, pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. _I should have been there for him... protected him. Hell, Nivien was there for him. _It seemed Hope and Nivien had been much closer than she had wanted to think about and now she could see how. The thought of her comforting him, sent an emotion through Lightning that she wasn't willing to recognize.

Stumbling across a park, Lightning walked over to a swing-set. She grabbed onto the chain of a swing, swaying it a bit back and forth. She remembered the last time she'd swung on a swing-set.

It was just her and Serah. It had only been about a week since their mother died and Serah had begged Lightning to go to the park. Having been eleven o'clock at night, the elder sister had said no. But when Serah batted her eyelashes and the tears had threatened to spill from her eyes, she caved. Although Lightning was fifteen and swinging wasn't her idea of a good time, swinging with her sister that night, was the first time she had enjoyed herself since her mother had passed.

As Lightning reminisced, she suddenly felt another presence around her. Slowly she moved her hand to the hilt of her gunblade. Just as she brushed it's edge with her fingertips, she was struck by a flying icicle that grazed her bicep. Wincing, she spun in the direction it had flown from. There was no one. No visual or sound that gave away her assailant's position. Drawing her gunblade, Lightning cleared her mind, thoughts solely on her surroundings.

A branch cracked behind her, but before she could turn to face whoever was there, a burst of flames shot up in front of her, setting the grass aflame. Soon the flames grew to encircle Lightning. Then her attackers crept out from the brush and the shadows. There were six of them, all in black cloaks. Their faces were covered by their hoods but by their figures, they all seemed male. All stayed at a distance from the hostile soldier, but one stepped forward, obviously their leader. He was the biggest of them, tall and hulky.

"There's no need to be alarmed my friend", said the man. His voice was gruff and husky. His tone however was soothing, accommodating, but Lightning didn't care.

"My bleeding arm and the flames at my feet say otherwise." The flames began to die down slowly at the start of their conversation. The leader walked closer. Lightning raised her gunblade above her shoulder, ready for a fight.

The leader shook his head and bowed before her. "If we'd really wanted to hurt you, then you wouldn't be able to threaten us with that blade now would you?" Her lack of response urged him to continue. "You're obviously aware of our powers. We have magic on our side." As if to prove this, he brought a flame to his fingertips and held it in front of him. "We just want to talk, but we aren't afraid of a fight if one is forced upon us." He dropped the fire from his hand. "It would be a shame to mark that pretty face of yours."

Lightning tensed, she didn't care for what they had to say. They'd already attacked her and she wasn't going to give them a chance to finish what they started. "Not interested." The flames licking at her feet had dissipated and with that, she leapt at the leader in front of her. She swiped at him as he jumped back and sent a burst of air at her, blowing her back off her feet. Flipping back through the air, she shot at one of the unsuspecting men approaching at her side. As she landed, he fell dead. Two men came up behind her, attempting to grab her. She slid easily under their feet, slicing their ankles as she went. They fell to the ground and Lightning sprang up. Dodging a shot of electricity at her side, she stabbed the two in their chests.

This left the leader in front of her, with two of his friends at his sides. Confidence shooting through her, she stepped forward and resumed her previous battle stance. "Now it's obvious that I _want_ to hurt you and you _should_ be alarmed. Leave now, or you won't live to regret it."

The ground began to quake under her feet, throwing her off balance. The two men at the leader's sides took the advantage of the distracted soldier, launching themselves toward her. One grabbed her, his hand hot as lava, and burnt Lightning's forearm. Ignoring the flaring pain, she quickly stabbed the man in the arm before switching into gun mode and shooting him in the face. The other one sent a surge of electricity through her, sending her to her knees. As he advanced on her, Lightning tried to focus her mind away from her screaming body. He grabbed her around the neck, only to let go when she stabbed him in the foot.

He hollered out in pain until she sliced her blade across his neck as she stood. Leaving her to face off against the unmoving leader. He seemed to be a challenge but since he hadn't made a move on her, she had nothing to gauge his strength on. Although he already had an upper hand. Standing there, he was unscathed. Whereas she had a severely burnt arm to go with her cut one and shaky limbs as her body tried to fight off the effects of the electricity.

"Well, this has become quite a mess. Why couldn't this have been a friendly conversation?"

Lightning growled at his mock sorrow. "You attacked first."

The man chuckled briefly as he clasped his hands together. "True and we may have underestimated you. You may be a very capable Guardian after all."

Lightning blinked rapidly at his last words. _Guardian? _She went to ask but before she could utter a word, he threw a flurry of ice at her. Focusing on dodging the icicles and swiping them away with her blade, she hadn't seen him advance toward her. As she went to slash away the last one, it melted before her, distracting her further. The leader then grabbed her by the throat and lifted her off her feet. The gunblade began to slip from her grasp as her arm jolted out of reflex, begging her to grab his hands away. But she ignored her reflex, steeling her hold on her weapon. Fast as her namesake, she brought it up and thrust it down on his hands, cutting them clean off.

He screamed in pain as he fell backwards, his hood falling down. Disgusted, Lightning shook his hands off of her before going over to the now hand-less man. She brought her blade up below his chin and waited for his screams to stop. With his face now exposed, she could see his sharp and cruel facial features. As he calmed down, she spoke. "Now, what did you want from me?"

Anger seemed to replace the horror in his eyes, but was soon followed by a sort of sick joy. "You lose, Guardian", he spat.

Digging her blade a bit deeper into him, she also put her boot on his wrist, watching him writhe and wiggle in pain. "Why are you calling me that? What is it that you want?"

At her questions, there was a sense of satisfaction written on his face. "We have what we want... what we need. Do you?"

At that answer, Lightning knew. "Hope." He laughed harshly. Rage flowing through her, she swiped her blade across his throat, spraying more blood over her and killing him instantly.

As her mind began to race in her worry for Hope, she calmed it. She wouldn't allow her fears to distract her, only fuel her. Sprinting towards Hope's house, she dialed his number. Naturally, he didn't pick up. _Please just be asleep. _Quickly she dialed Alyssa, hoping she would still be working. Lightning didn't imagine Hope was the only workaholic there.

"Lightning, how may I-"

Sounding slightly out of breath, she cut the upbeat woman off. "Hope... is he still at his house?" _For his sake he better be. _

"Is everything alright Lightning? You sound-"

"There's no time", yelled Lightning, sending off alarms in Alyssa's mind.

"Let me check."

Still running as fast as her feet could carry her, she prayed that she could reach him in time. She had to protect him. "Hurry."

"Um... no he's not."

_ Dammit Hope. _

"He's at Harleen Cemetery. Do you need me to give you the location?"

"Yes, and send a squad of G.C. Soldiers. Someone's coming for him Alyssa." _Maker, please be okay Hope._

* * *

As he knelt in front of his father's grave, his head hung low, and his hands grasped his thighs tightly. He couldn't tear his mind away from the memories of his father and his family in his pre-l'Cie life. But he didn't want to. He welcomed those memories as the dark ones turned to fond ones. He no longer wept, for the tears couldn't form. He'd cried himself out. His eyes closed as he put his hand on the front of his father's grave. _I'm sorry dad. Everything I put you through, all the arguments, all the yelling, it wasn't worth it. I would give anything to change that day. I know it's impossible... I've wished so many times over the years to have mom back... and as you can see, it never happened. I just miss you both so much. Thank you for the letter. I know how hard it must have been for you to write it. _Hope drew in a deep breath. _I love you too, dad. _

"It's Hope..." Hope's head snapped up at the sound of a voice. "...right?" There was a woman ten feet in front of him and his father's gravestone. She was wearing a long, flowing white robe. She had very soft facial features, with gray wolf-like eyes, and short blonde hair slicked back that ended just under her ears. She appeared to be in her late thirties, maybe early forties. Her voice was smooth, confident and strong. "Oh, I'm sorry... it's _Director_ now." Her words held a threatening tone in her last sentence.

Hope steadily stood. Anxiety and fear began to rise inside him as his pulse beat harshly in his chest. "What do you want", asked Hope hesitantly, forcing himself to remain calm. He couldn't believe how close she was. How could he have allowed her to sneak up on him like that?

"Isn't it obvious?" The woman raised her hand up in front of her chest, signaling many others to come out of the shadows. All of the rest of them, seven, possibly more, were dressed in black cloaks, hoods drawn. "We want you."

* * *

She approached the cemetery. It was grand, taking up many acres. Her mind was racing a hundred miles per hour, thinking of the many possibilities and outcomes of what she may find. Letting the eeriness of the dark cemetery slip past her mind, she plunged in. Her gunblade was drawn in her right hand, as she grasped a flashlight in the other. She fought desperately against the urge to cry out for him, wary of alerting any enemies. Remaining quick and stealthy, her footsteps were light and silent. Alyssa had not only given Lightning the location of the cemetery, but Bartholomew's grave. It wasn't too far from the entrance, but with Lightning's current state of mind, it seemed to be a world away.

After ten minutes of hunting for the grave site, she finally found it, and fought the sudden need to fall to her knees. At the foot of Bartholomew's headstone, laid Hope's communicator. She ran toward it and picked it up. It was still moderately warm from his pocket. Breathing a sigh of relief, she lifted her flashlight up to search the surrounding area. She stopped, seeing a flash of red in it's light. Her heart stopped. On the top left corner of Hope's father's headstone, was a large splotch of blood. It had dripped down the gravestone but stopped halfway down, having dried in it's place. Hope's name tore from her lips.

Swearing, she searched in a vain attempt to find any other sign of Hope or his attackers. She couldn't believe she'd let this happen. _Where is he? Where is my back-up? I can't let this- _Her thoughts halted as she spotted another sign of the attack on Hope. There, stuck in a tree, not far from Bartholomew's grave, was Hope's boomerang. Shining the flashlight on it, she saw it had struck something. A small piece of black fabric hung from it. It looked exactly like the fabric of the cloaks on the men that had attacked her. Rage, terror and sorrow threatened to cripple her as she screamed out for Hope, but there was no reply. There was no other sign of him or his assailants.

As she heard the sound of incoming G.C. Soldiers, she fell to her knees, unsure of how to continue. She swore she'd protect him. She swore she'd keep him safe. _Hope is gone. He's alone... again._


	8. Captive

**A/N: I'm happy to say that I was wrong. I ended up getting to write my chapter much sooner than I had thought, but only due to coming down with a nasty illness. Now that I'm better, I'm really not sure when my next update will be. Sorry :/**

**Anyhow, I guess I was rather mean with that cliffhanger huh? I do apologize, I just couldn't resist. So what happens now that Hope is nowhere to be found and Lightning is in the grip of despair? Well read and find out :)**

**Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoy and review. See you next update :)**

* * *

Hope woke up with a throbbing headache. It felt like his skull was being drilled into whilst being bashed into repeatedly with a hammer. He didn't want to open his eyes in fear that light would make it worse. His instant reflex was to grab his head and hold it, but as he raised his hand, something prevented it from moving towards him. In fact, he couldn't move his other hand or his feet. Eyes shooting open, Hope searched for the reason. His chest and feet were bare. His wrists and ankles were strapped down tightly with leather cuffs, tying him to a stone table. He struggled to pull himself free but they wouldn't budge - and the more he struggled, the more the bindings began cutting into his skin. Trying to recover from the shock of his situation, he attempted to figure out where he was. The room was moderately dark, lit by a few torches along the walls. The whole place was stone, bare, with no personalization, so it most likely wasn't someone's home. Hope scrunched up his nose, smelling a very distasteful aroma. The room smelled of dirt and must, but most noticeably, it stank of blood and vomit.

Now breathing through his mouth, Hope continued to survey the room. His heart stopped at the sight of what was beside him on his left. Less than ten feet away, strapped to a stone table much like his own, was a woman. _I'm not alone. _She seemed young, maybe a bit older than him, but it was hard to tell with the grime that covered her skin. She had very disheveled long green hair with beads threaded through it. He couldn't see her face for it was covered by her messy hair. Her skin was ghostly white, having a paleness that rivaled his own. Dressed in a bra and a mid-thigh length skirt, her torn and tattered clothes matched the green of her hair. Blood stained her skin and clothes, as well as the table beneath her - yet there wasn't a scratch on her - not that he could see anyway. Despite the look of her body, she seemed to only be sleeping for her chest moved steadily up and down.

Although he was thankful and happy that he wasn't alone, Hope scolded himself for finding any sort of joy in her captivity. It looked like the woman had been there for weeks. _But why? Who is this person? And why does she dese__rve this? Well no one deserves this but... does she have something to do with Yeul? _Hope gasped at his thought, remembering the prophecy. _'Only through his suffering, can __humanity prevail.' Did she mean... me?_ _But... why would I be so important? I mean ye__ah I'm the Director, but only Lightning... Oh Maker Light! She's never going to forgive me. Once she finds out I left... If she finds out. What if no one... no I'm the Director, they'll notice me missing but.__.__. what if they..._

Hope groaned and found his throat to be painfully dry. Instead of drowning in his rampaging sea of thoughts, he thought to try and wake his unfortunate companion. "Hey. Hey can you hear me?" Hope's voice was hoarse and raspy. He tried to swallow but it only made the pain worse. _How lo__ng was I unconscious?_

Closing his eyes, he tried to remember what last happened to him. He remembered working with Lightning and her accompanying him home, then finding the letter... then leaving... Hope's memories went fuzzy from there. He couldn't recall why he'd left his house or where he'd headed toward. He furrowed his brow in confusion, but winced and squeezed his eyes shut at the pain the movement caused. _Okay focus Hope. What happened? Why would you leave? Did it have to do with work? No Light made you go home. Was it something to do with Light? No she'd just left and threatened to hurt you if you stepped a foot outside. So why would you leave? What was worth pain by Light? _Searching deep into his mind, he found it. _The letter! But what was written... it was from my __father... but_... Hope's grief threatened to surface within him but he pushed it back. _No, focus. You read the letter; you put it away and... went to see him. You went to the cemetery but... something happened... That woman... with the robe and the voice... and those eyes. That's right... I tried to fight back but was blown forward from behind... I hit my head on a grave stone._

"Anyone awake down there", called a voice as they came down the stairwell.

_It's her!_

As she entered, her eyes went straight for Hope. "Ahh so we are." Hope tensed as she approached him. "How are we?"

Hope knew there was no use fighting her or his restraints. He was stuck. The only thing he could do right then, was get all of the information from the woman he could. "What do you want with me?"

She smiled as her eyes ran over the length of his body. She slowly put her hand on his chest. Hope jolted at the touch, which only caused her devilish smile to grow. "As much as I love kidnapping pretty-boy egg-heads, I want nothing to do with you. You are a very well known, important person. Taking you caused us a lot of trouble and keeping you will only cause us more. Hopefully...", she stopped, smiling and shaking her head for the obvious reason, "... it will be worth it."

"So why take me? Worth what? Wha-"

"Calm down." The woman brought her hand up to his forehead, pressing gently. Hope clenched his teeth and jerked his head away from her. A flicker of agitation passed through her eyes as she grabbed his chin harshly and forced him to face her. Her fingers then brushed lightly over his slightly swollen eye before running down over the small bruises on his chest, undoubtedly caused by Lightning's fit of sadness and frustration.

Hope wanted desperately to escape the woman's touch. The minute her cold bony fingers had found his skin, he felt angry and undeniably trapped.

Her eyebrow arched as she continued brushing over his bruises, as if she were inspecting them. "It would seem that your Guardian finds more pleasure in harming you, than protecting you." Her eyes flickered up to his at her statement.

_Guardian? Does she mean Light?_

"Oh, quiet now are we? You have no more questions for me?" She stood up straight, walking a few steps away from his table. After waiting for a few moments for him to respond, she continued. "Too bad, and I was actually entertaining the idea of answering some." Turning back toward him, she fixed him with another wicked grin.

There were hundreds of questions shooting through his mind and Hope wasn't sure where to start. He was confused really. She had kidnapped him, but didn't really want him. She had him strapped to a table, but seemed concerned about his injuries. And she was holding him captive, but she was willing to answer the questions he asked. "Who are you?" Naturally any sane attacker and kidnapper wouldn't give their name, but it was worth a shot and maybe he'd still get some sort of answer.

At his question, she walked over to the corner and grabbed a wooden chair. Bringing it back and setting it a few feet away on his right, she sat and answered. "My name is Castea Hidon." She crossed her legs and sat back in the chair, folding her hands in her lap. Her face became neutral, finally ridding itself of the creepy smile.

_What? She told me her... Does that mean she's not planning on letting me go? Or she could be lying. _"Are you the... Who's in charge here?"

Her smile returned, albeit a bit smaller and gentler. "I am of course." She winked at him. "Well, over these weaklings anyway. I call the shots around here, that's all you need to know."

Hope bit his lip. "So what did you take me for? What do you plan to do with me?"

Her eyebrows raised and her smile seemed to reach a whole new level of creepy. "Finally, the good part." Her eyes searched his for a moment as her hand preoccupied itself with her sleeve. "I imagine you received our present?"

Hope's eyebrows furrowed as he frowned. "Wha-"

"Yeul." She deepened her gaze into his confused eyes. "You had to have figured it out by now that we were the ones…" her voice became mockingly sad as she finished her sentence, "who had done all those horrible and monstrous things to her. Same as with that one." She pointed to the women beside him. "And you know what? We're going to do all of those nasty things to you as well."

Hope visibly tensed as his heart froze inside his chest. "Why", Hope croaked.

"Because we have to. We were called upon to use the great power inside of us to help you fulfill your destiny."

Hope's eyes danced around the room, processing her words. "Your l'Cie?" She nodded her head in reply. "And your focus is to capture and torture me, this woman, and that poor girl?" Hope shot her a look of disgust and Castea's smile shrunk slightly. "Why? What does a focus like that accomplish?" Slowly she sat up and uncrossed her legs, but remained silent. Hope clenched his jaw and his fists tightly. "Just let me go. Please, I won't-"

"Won't what?" By Castea's expression, she was clearly amused. "Is this about the time where you start begging... bargaining for your life? Don't worry, we won't kill you." She walked back over to Hope and brought her face above his. Running her hands through his hair, she looked into his eyes. Hope tried to shrink back farther into the table, attempting to get away from her dark stare but she was too close. "But soon enough, you'll wish that we had." His eyes snapped up to hers, and through her gray gaze, he could see her brutal honesty. He wasn't sure about everything else she had said, but in this, there was no lie. No matter how much he wanted her to be lying, between that demonic look in her eyes and what he knew of Yeul's torture, there was no chance. He was going to be in immense pain very soon.

Hope felt an emotion creep into him, deep into him, that he hadn't felt in a long while. He felt fear. A deep bone-chilling fear set into his veins. And there was nothing he could do to stop it. He had nothing to protect himself, even if he could move to use it. There were no guards... no one was there to shield him from any of his ensuing hurt. And he had no one to blame but himself.

Castea, looking thoroughly pleased with herself for causing the scared puppy look on his face, stood up. With a flick of her wrist, a soothing warmth washed over him. She was healing all of his wounds. The horrible ache in his head was gone as well as the dull pain of the bruises, and he imagined any trace of the door incident had vanished with them. _Why is she healing me?_

A loud stomping sound could be heard from the corner as someone descended down the stairs. Hope's gaze turned from the horrid woman to the approaching person. It was a rather large, muscly man, with sharp facial features. "Lady Hidon? Barsilisk wishes to speak with you." He had a gruff and harsh voice, but was quiet. He bowed before Castea. Between that and the way he'd addressed her, it told Hope he worked under her.

She rolled her eyes before walking to the steps. Turning back to the man briefly she spoke, "Deal with them Sebastian. Especially the girl", and then continued leaving the room. The man, obviously named Sebastian, watched the entryway until he could no longer hear Castea's retreating footsteps.

As he turned to face Hope, he spoke. "Don't fret, your safe." His expression didn't change from the stern look he'd entered with, but his voice held a bit of amusement in it. "I was ordered to leave you alone for now."

Hope felt a bit of trepidation at speaking with the large man but he decided to anyway. "So you work for...", Hope's voice trembled a bit, so he cleared his throat, attempting to find a relative calm, "...Castea? Are you a l'Cie too?"

"I think you've asked enough questions for one day little Director." Sebastian went to give his full attention to the woman beside him. He pushed her hair out of her face, revealing it to Hope. Even through the dirt and blood on her face, she seemed fairly attractive with smooth facial features and high cheekbones. Grabbing her cheeks harshly with his hand, he picked her head up and looked into her face. "This one's a stubborn little whore. She should mind her manners." He let go of her head and it collided back with the table with a thump.

As Sebastian walked over to him, Hope noticed there was what seemed to be a scar across the man's throat. "Just let me go, please. I didn't do anything to you. I don't even understand why I'm here."

"You will… in due time."

Hope bit down softly on his cheek, pushing back his threatening tears. "Fine, but let her go. You have me... what you wanted. Why do you have to torture her?"

Sebastian stood over Hope, a smile appearing on his face. "Compassion for a woman you don't even know. And you want me to let her go, when you haven't even spoken with her. Too priceless." He laughed bitterly. "She has a purpose here, same as you." Sebastian leaned on Hope's table, hands gripping the edge of the rough stone. Hope looked at the man's hands, noticing similar scars on his wrists as to the one on his neck. Sebastian took note of the young man's interest. "Courtesy of your Guardian. She put up quite a fight. One I didn't expect."

Hope grew concerned. Castea had mentioned a guardian before, when tending to his wounds inflicted by Lightning, so Hope had assumed that's who she had been referring to. But if that was who Sebastian was speaking of, then how was he still alive? "You mean Lightning", Hope asked. His heart beat rapidly in his chest as worry about her well-being grew inside him.

The bulky man stood back up, his right hand cuffing his left wrist as he rubbed it. "Yes, the beauty with the soft pink hair and rose colored lips. I didn't expect someone so gorgeous to be so deadly."

Hope bared his teeth. "I swear if you hurt her-"

The man only laughed. "She fought well. It was fun until... well anyway I achieved my goal. The threat of the Guardian was eliminated so we were able to collect you without too much of a fuss."

_Eliminated? _"No, Maker no", Hope whispered to himself, as despair began to take over him.

"Don't listen to this fool." The woman beside him spoke as she stirred. "He's just a lackey trying to break you for his boss." She tilted her head up to give the burly man a look of defiance.

"What did you say bitch?" Sebastian stomped over to her and smacked her across the face, the sound echoing off the chamber walls. "I am no lackey." She breathed harshly for a moment before turning her head back toward him and spitting out blood into his face.

He landed a heavy punch on her jaw, causing her head to hit the stone harshly, knocking her back out. As he lifted his hand for another punch, Hope tried to stop him. "Don't. She's already out and-" Hope's words abruptly stopped as the man fixed him with a withering stare. Turning back to the woman, while calming considerably, Sebastian undid her bindings and tossed her over his shoulder, silently leaving the room.

Hope's head fell back to the table, his mind falling back to his worry about Lightning. _No, she's strong. Too strong. She couldn't have been... eliminated. That woman is right. He was just lying. But those marks did look like they'd __come from a gunblade. If he'd faced off against Light, there's no way __she would have left him alive... unless..._

Hope's thoughts were interrupted by a returning Sebastian, obviously not through with his earlier conversation. "As I was saying, that Guardian of yours was a real beaut - and a damn fine warrior. Shame really. I would have loved to have spent more time with her." Hope looked toward Sebastian, enraged as he struggled against his binds. This only caused the man to laugh. "She would have been much more fun than that little seeress." He stopped, pulling out a long serrated blade from his belt, causing Hope to swallow. "I'm sure you saw my masterpiece. Sadly you only got to see half of it. We had to heal many of her serious injuries so she could make it to ya." He ran his finger along the edge of the blade, staring sadistically at it as blood began to drip from his finger.

"You're sick", Hope spat, feeling hatred and disgust surface. _It sounds like he was... is taken with Light. And he's the one that __did all those monstrous things to that poor girl. Maker... why?_

The man's smile dropped as he looked at Hope with fury in his eyes. The last thing Hope saw was the large man's hand reaching up in the air with electricity flitting through his fingertips, before an unbearable shock was sent through him, causing blackness to overtake his vision.

* * *

Bright lights greeted Lightning as she awoke from her slumber. She groaned as her eyes lazily opened to find that she was in a hospital room. _What the hell __happened? _In a flash, it all came back to her. She'd let Hope get taken. Her right hand balled into a fist and she hit it against the side of her head. _But why am I here? I should be out looking for Hope. _She couldn't recall what had happened after she'd found Hope's boomerang. It was all a blank. Looking over herself, she took note of her injuries. There was a large bandage on her left forearm from the burn, a slightly smaller bandage covered her right bicep from the cut, and her neck felt painful when she swallowed, obviously from being strangled. But there was a bandage wrapped around the palm of her left hand. She didn't remember getting injured there.

Her thoughts went back to Hope as she laid there. His smile, his warm embrace, his heartbeat under her hand, all came rushing to her mind. Sorrow hit her briefly before being replaced by anger. She was unbelievably angry. She was angry at Hope for sneaking away. She was angry at him for disregarding everything she had said to him not a day before. She was angry at him for leaving her alone. But mostly, she was angry at herself for letting him slip from her grasp.

She couldn't stay there anymore. All she was doing was wallowing in her own misery. As she went to get up, her door opened to reveal a familiar face.

"Lightning, you're awake. How's our favorite soldier?" Sazh had a smile on his face but there was a sadness within his eyes that couldn't be missed.

Lightning growled. "Yeah and I want out. How did I get here anyway?" She moved her leg over and off the side of the bed, but Sazh stopped her.

"Stop Lightning. I just got back from my flight, I've had zero sleep, I'm old, and in no mood to be chasin' after your rampagin' ass." His tone was stern but Lightning would have none of it.

She fixed Sazh with an ice cold glare. "Hope is gone and we need to find him. If you want to sleep while he's Maker knows where, go ahead." Lightning was steadily yelling at him now, which she really didn't want to but she couldn't stop. She had to find Hope. She couldn't lose anyone else. "I'm not going to sit here and wait until he turns up-"

Sazh stopped her, covering her mouth with his hand before pushing her back down. "Stop. There is a search team covering all of Academia and three teams covering Pulse. Hildough and some guards are headed to Sanctum City to check there as well."

The soldier, completely pissed by Sazh's forceful action, pushed his hand away. "It's not enough. I have to-"

"Calm down, that's all ya gotta do", said a semi-familiar voice from the doorway. In stepped Rygdea, looking almost exactly the same as she remembered him. The only differences were a few more wrinkles, worry lines, and his hair was tied back in a ponytail. "We need you calm Lightning, so you can tell us what happened."

Lightning huffed as she settled back into her bedding. She hated it, but they were right. The only good she could do now, was explain to them what she knew so they could come up with a course of action. "I take it you didn't find any of his attackers?"

Rygdea stepped closer to the bed. "No, the G.C. found nothing other than the kid's boomerang with the cloth and the blood on Bartholomew's headstone."

Lightning tensed, her feeling of despair coming back at her hard. She held the back of her hand to her mouth.

Rygdea began to wring his hands. "Look, Lightning. I know your hurtin' but-"

"Please, if you cared half as much as I do, we wouldn't still be sitting here."

Rygdea's eyes filled with frustration. He stalked towards her with half a mind to hit the woman telling him that he didn't care. But he stopped himself. "Hey missy, I love that kid like a son." Rygdea breathed heavily as he tried to calm his rage. "I was very close with Hope and his father. Bartholomew told me himself to watch over him in the event that-" A flicker of immense pain registered in the man's eyes as he spoke of Bartholomew. "So I feel as much pain and worry as you - probably more."

Lightning looked away. She actually hadn't given Hope and Rygdea's relationship any thought at all. Sorely regretting her words she blew out a sigh. She then went over the events that had occurred at the park and the graveyard. After she had finished, Sazh and Rygdea exchanged worried glances. "What?" She knew they knew something.

Sazh was the first to speak up. "After they... the Guardian Corp. soldiers found ya, well... through what happened, you told 'em about bein' attacked in the park but..." Sazh stopped as he ran his hand over his face.

"They found nothing." Rygdea had finished for him. Good thing too, because Lightning was about to sock Sazh out of impatience. "There was no trace of anything there. No bodies, no blood... not even a scorch mark."

Lightning balled her fists. "But that's impossible. I took out six of them. They were wearing the same fabric as the piece Hope's boomerang caught." Her voice caught in her throat a little at her mention of Hope, but no one said anything about it. Feeling unbelievable frustration yet again, she figured it was time to get answers of her own. "Why am I here anyway? I don't remember anything passed the graveyard and somebody better tell me why,"

Rygdea's comm went off. He gave Sazh a look of sympathy as he exited the room to answer it. Sazh bit his tongue and stepped back from Lightning before answering her. "You had to be... sedated."

Lightning's jaw dropped. She definitely didn't remember that. "Why?"

Sazh 's eyes remained on the floor. "The soldiers who found ya said you were screamin' for Hope and you wouldn't settle down. You had serious injuries that needed looked at but you wouldn't let anyone touch ya. You tried to leave to find him..." Sazh stopped. He looked at Lightning. Her expression was a mixture of pain and confusion. When the soldiers had told him what happened, he couldn't believe it. He hadn't known how much she cared about the kid. Of course Hope had a great impact on many he met and he seemed to have a way with people, but this was Lightning - the soldier that was always guarded. She'd taken good care to make sure he was safe when they were l'cie, yes. But this was different. "...but they needed to help you and speak with you... You were also holdin' Hope's comm so tight that it broke in your hand... glass cut into your skin but you wouldn't let go of it and you wouldn't stop...so they-"

"Drugged me." Lightning's head dropped back down to the pillow as her hands rubbed her eyes.

Sazh stood and walked over to her. "We'll find him Lightning. He couldn't have gotten far without his soldier girl." The old man winced, ready for a strike, a spiteful comment, but nothing came. Lightning just stared into the distance.

A knock sounded from the door, followed by Rygdea entering her room. "That was the Academy lab. They ran a test on the blood from... Bartholomew's headstone."

A minute passed as Sazh and Lightning waited for him to speak. "And", said the impatient pinkette.

Rygdea looked down to the floor for a moment before sighing. "It was Hope's."

Lightning's breath caught in her throat. A look of shock formed on her face as a small, silent tear fell down her cheek.

* * *

Hope sat in the corner of a dark stone cell, his knees to his chest, arms around his legs, with his forehead resting on his knees. He'd woken up just twenty minutes earlier to the screams of, who he could only assume, was the woman he'd seen beside him before. He had no idea how long he'd been out. The pain of the electrocution was gone, so he must have been healed. All that remained now was the slight shakiness in his limbs from the after effects.

The cell was small – about eight feet by six feet. There was no light except the small amount that filtered in through the bottom of the door and the small slot that they slipped trays of food into. In the back left hand corner was a bare mattress on the floor and on the right side was a toilet. Other than that, it was empty and cold.

A tray of food sat on the ground in front of him. It held a sandwich, an apple and a cup of water. Although he didn't trust it in the least, he drank the water, finding it too hard to resist with how unbearably dry his throat was. Everything else, he let sit.

In an attempt to escape the poor woman's cries and screams, Hope delved into his thoughts. He still couldn't believe what was happening to him. It felt so unreal. He wished desperately to be back home. To be with Lightning, Sazh, Rygdea, Nivien, Maqui, and the rest of the NORA gang. Although he tried to focus on all the happy and good things in his life, he couldn't get what Sebastian had said out of his head. _Lightning has to be okay. They were only there for me. She wasn't even with me. They had no reason to go after her, or to kill her._ Getting those thoughts out of his head, Hope began processing everything that had happened and everything he'd been told. _Okay so they're l'Cie. They are the one's responsible for torturing Yeul, and they sent her to us for a reason. They wanted us to see her. Did they also plan on us hearing the prophecy? It's very likely, although by how Light had put it, it seemed that it had been sudden. Like it __had been a new vision._

_ So these people work for Castea Hidon. How many of them are there? I know there are at least seven others, from what I saw when they attacked me - which doesn't include Sebastian because none of them were that big. Why would they be doing this? Does Castea work for someone? Well obviously a Fal'Cie if they're l'Cie. But... the Sanctum! Could they be working for the Sanctum's Fal'Cie? It's possible, but there are many Fal'Cie. Well I have a right to be suspicious of them though considering... Anyway... their focus... Castea said that it had something to do with my destiny. What is my destiny? And why does it have to involve so much kidnapping and torture? And what does that woman have to do with all this?_

Hope's thoughts turned to the woman currently being tortured. He couldn't believe how she'd spoken to Sebastian. The way she showed no fear, or restraint when speaking to him so sharply, amazed him. Even though she had only been awake for a short minute, she had also calmed Hope's thoughts about Lightning, and he was grateful for that. He hadn't been in the right frame of mind to rationalize that the man could have just been trying to get a rise out of him.

_Maker, why didn't I listen to Light. I wouldn't be in this mess if I'd just been more careful __instead of so stubborn. _Regret filled Hope to the core. He knew he'd been stupid but what could he do now. He just wished, now more than ever, to be with his family – new and old.

Hope's train of thoughts abruptly halted as he heard his door slam open. He stayed in his same position, thinking of ways to escape, but nothing came. A man approached him and gripped Hope's hair tightly, pulling him up. He had expected it to be Sebastian but it wasn't. It was a new bulky man that he hadn't seen before. He was smaller than Sebastian but still fairly intimidating. Throwing Hope against the opposite wall, he laughed. "Try anything, and I won't be afraid to break a few of your bones."

Hope grunted as his shoulder met roughly with the wall. He listened to the man, unsure of what to do. The man was chuckling as he spoke, but was dead serious. Hope wanted to escape. Every bone in his body fought against the urge to just book it and run. But he wasn't a moron. He knew he wasn't fast enough to escape him. Even if he managed to flee from the man in front of him, he didn't know how many more awaited him outside. Plus he had no idea where he was, or how to get through the place. And taking Castea's henchmen on, would just be suicidal. Hope nodded to the man, assuring him that he wouldn't try anything stupid.

The big guy grinned. "Good. A scrawny kid like you wouldn't last very long against me." Grabbing a black bag from his pocket, he pulled it over Hope's head before gripping his arm and pulling him into the hall. As they walked through the place, Hope tried to memorize his way, in the case a miracle happened and he found a chance to escape. It didn't take very long to reach their destination. Two right turns, a left, down a flight of stairs and they were there. As they approached, Hope could hear the woman's screams getting louder as well as her ragged breaths. He could see nothing through the bag on his head, but by the sound and smell, he knew where he was. The man pushed him into a stone table before slamming his head down into it. Feeling pain and dizziness take over his functions, Hope fell to the floor, stunned that the blow hadn't knocked him out entirely. Hearing Sebastian laugh, made him angry but there was nothing he could do.

Through raspy breaths, the woman spoke. "Stop it. You… wou-wouldn't want to-to kill him now would you? T-That would… kind of…fuck up you…your focus now wouldn't it?" She let out a light yelp as Sebastian smacked her.

"Keep your whore mouth shut."

Hope grimaced as he felt the other man pick him up and set him on the table. His head rolled to the side as the man strapped him back into the familiar restraints. The bag was lifted off of his head, giving Hope his sight back. His relief was short lived as he turned his head and saw the state of the woman beside him. She had numerous bruises and shallow cuts littered along her body. Her right eye was horribly swollen, her lip was split, tears stained her cheeks, three fingers were bent in painfully odd angles, and as if that wasn't enough, there was long cord tied around her neck. The knot was adjusted to where with one tug, it would take out her ability to breathe, but if not gripped, it would loosen and allow air to flow.

Sebastian left her side and went to speak with the other man quietly in the corner. The woman tilted her head to look at Hope. He couldn't see her right eye, for it was swollen shut, but her left eye held despair and terror in her gorgeous green gaze. Giving him a small smile, she went to speak but nothing came. Hope shook his head. "Don't talk", he whispered.

Sebastian slapped the other man on the back before waving toward the woman and sending a powerful cure spell over her. Then both the bulky men left them alone. Hope watched as her cuts and bruises healed. Her eye returned to normal size. Her fingers painfully snapped back into place as she gasped at the pain. Her breathing was heavy, but calmed with time.

"You would be Hope, right?" She smiled toward him.

Hope laughed lightly. "Seems everyone knows my name."

The woman looked up at the ceiling before closing her eyes and sighing. "I'm Zalera. I'd say it's nice to meet you, but I was really hoping they wouldn't get a hold of you."

Looking at her with a confused gaze, Hope raised a brow. "You knew they were after me?"

"Yes, almost since they first caught me or… us." A solemn look overtook her expression as her fists tightened.

Taking in her body language, he got who she was talking about and wondered if they'd been close before captivity. "Yeul? You knew her?"

A small cry escaped her throat. "Yes." She sniffed and fought her tears back. "I was supposed to protect her… and I… failed her instead."

Hope's eyebrows shot up in discovery. "You're her Guardian."

She laughed bitterly. "Was. I was her Guardian."

Confusion crept over him. "But you're a l'Cie. How come you can't-"

"Nope." She turned and gave Hope a grim look of defeat, a stark contrast to her defiance she'd shown before. "I am not and never was a l'Cie."

Hope took a second and thought back to all of the scripture he'd read about the Farseer tribe. He could have sworn that it all had said that Yeul's Guardian was a l'Cie. Which would make sense with what it could take to guard such a powerful being. Glancing at her, Hope noticed her body subtly shaking. He wanted to ask her to elaborate about Yeul and her guardianship of her but he felt concern for her state. "Are you okay?"

Zalera looked over at him, a hint of shock and annoyance in her expression. Of course she wasn't okay, not in the least. But he was expressing concern for her, a complete stranger, over the many things he could have said or asked. "I'm sorry."

Hope gave her an incredulous look in return. _An apology? For what? _"Wha-"

"How are my guests today", asked Castea as she entered the room.

Zalera gave her a death glare that could easily match Lightning's own. "Why don't you untie me and I'll let you know exactly how I am."

Castea merely glanced in her direction before Zalera's back arched. She screamed out in pain and her breaths became short and erratic until she wasn't breathing at all. It wasn't until her face began changing color, that Castea's everlasting smile widened and Zalera was finally allowed air.

Hope was stunned. Castea didn't even have to lift a finger to almost take Zalera's life. She was a very powerful l'Cie.

"It's a shame. I thought all this time down here would have taught you how to be a lady. I guess Yeul's death wasn't enough of a lesson."

Zalera's nostrals flared as her eyes filled with hatred. She began fighting against her binds hard. "Don't you dare say her name, you murderous wench."

Castea merely waved her off. "And how are you my pet", Castea inquired as she turned to Hope.

Swallowing harshly, Hope glanced at the ceiling before turning his attention to the black-hearted woman. "I've been better."

She hummed as she looked him over. "Well I thought you might have some last questions that you may want answers to. Considering, you might not be in the best state of mind for the rest of your stay. I've found that it's very hard to process and absorb things when your mind is being clouded by pain." Her smile widened at Hope's small change in expression.

He didn't speak. His mind was far beyond his control as he began to imagine his torture.

She walked over to his hair and began fiddling with it. "No, well I'll just talk then."

"Maybe we don't want to listen", snapped Zalera, practically foaming at the mouth.

As Castea lifted her hand from Hope's head, he spoke to stop the wicked woman's next actions. "No, I-I want to hear what she has to say."

Zalera stopped her futile struggle and laid still, her face scrunched up in frustration. Castea's hand rejoined it's partner in Hope's hair. He hated her touch but he wanted more information. Why she was so forthcoming was beyond him, but he thought to take advantage of it. For all he knew, in the end, he could use the information. If there was an ending to this that was something more ideal than his death that is. "First of all", Hope was mildly surprised at how strong his voice was, and by Castea's expression, so was she, "I want to know, why me? Why do you have to do all of this to me?"

"You know we've been protecting you right?" Hope's eyes shot up to the woman standing before his head. He found it extremely hard to believe that she nor any of her goons had protected him. His eyes asked her to elaborate and she complied. "That assassination attempt, I'm sure you remember it." His body stiffened and her hands finally unfurled themselves from his hair. She walked over to the unoccupied stone table at his right and sat on it. "It must have been... so painful for you. I'm truly sorry we couldn't have been there in time to save your poor father." Hope bit his tongue, trying not to bark and scream at the witch of a woman before him. "We were almost too late to save you. But the other times..." The young man's eyebrows raised at that. No one had known of any other attempt. "We managed to eliminate the other threats. There were four other attempts, just so you know?" She raised four of her fingers to emphasize the number. "You're not very popular over at the Sanctum. You should show us some gratitude."

Zalera scoffed at that. "Whoopee you kept him alive so he could end up in your basement while you get off on his torture."

Castea rolled her eyes. "We do what's necessary for the future. Keeping you safe was a top priority."

Hope fought to keep himself from visibly shaking, fear and anger bubbling inside him. "Why? What does this have to do with the future?"

The woman, now sitting in a very casual position as if not having a care in the world, shook her head slowly. "You have no idea how important you are. You are potentially the most powerful human on this planet. I would kill for that power."

Scrunching up his nose at her statement, Hope fidgeted. "Your a l'Cie, and a very strong one at that. Why can't-"

"As much as I despise it and loathe you for it, I am not powerful enough. None of us are."

"Powerful enough for what?" Hope had always loved how easy he'd taken to his powers. Magic just seemed like a part of him that he'd been missing. But he knew his great skills with it would get him into trouble one day.

A dreamy look of wonder and happiness washed over Castea's face as she answered him. "To change the world." She stopped and clapped her hands together, prepping her speech. "We've had people watching over you, you know?"

No, Hope hadn't known and he found it very creepy. He had spies watching him and his goings on for who knows how long, sent from his future tormentors, and he was supposed to take that how?

"You got through that mess of research rather quickly. I was impressed. You figured out so much about the crystal so fast, that I no longer wondered why you were talked about as this brilliant leader." At the mention of the crystal, his ears perked. "You even got the location right." Castea paused, waiting for a reaction, which Hope, being the open book that he is, gave easily. His astonishment and confusion was easily viewed by her and she went on. "It was the reason we had to fetch Yeul and why we had to wait to take you. We wanted to know, for sure, the location of the crystals, and Yeul was the only one who knew. A shame we had to torture the girl to get it out of her. Her cries and screams were heartbreaking. Especially when she cried out for her Guardian, who could no longer save her. Right, Zalera?"

Zalera gave her a scornful look. "Just you wait bitch."

"Please you won't live long enough." Smiling back at Hope she moved back on topic. "The crystal shards are in Etro's shrine, and the places where Pulse and Lindzei departed from the world."

Hope raised a brow. "But we already-"

She waved him off. "It can only be found by you with your powers. Your silly little underlings couldn't find it if they searched for decades."

"And you torturing me helps me accomplish my _destiny_ how exactly?"

Castea rolled her eyes as she looked to his left wrist. "If you hadn't noticed, your brand is gone. Without your brand, your powers lay dormant inside you." Her smile grew as she spaced off into a corner. "It's ironic really. Etro took pity on you and your friends by releasing you from your fate as l'Cie, and this in turn left you with another terrible fate - having to reawaken your brand. Not easily done, mind you." She shook her finger at him. "Your freedom from the l'Cie curse is also why you all awaken at different and unknown times. A l'Cie with no further purpose can only awaken when and if they are willing to. You all could go on in a stasis paradise forever if you wished to."

Hope's head was spinning with all of Castea's information, but he tried to soak it all up and store it for when it was useful.

Zalera continued to lay there, listening to the woman speak, wanting all the while to rip her head off.

"So torturing me will help bring my brand back? But... Why do you care? What's your purpose with the crystal?" He had his reasons for it's use, bringing back his friends and all that remained trapped in Cocoon's crystal shell. But what were their intentions?

She laughed. "Ah, you want to know the root of it all huh? Well we know you want to awake those in stasis, saving all of your little cuddle buddies and your previous home. It's sweet and touching and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside." She rolled her eyes to accompany her sarcastic comment. "It's a smart plan by the way. Who knows when they'll all wake up. Tomorrow... centuries from now... and undoubtedly Cocoon's fate as well as that of it's citizens, rests in your Oerban friends' stasis'. Should they awake... well Cocoon may just continue it's plunge toward Pulse."

Hope gasped at the thought.

Zalera sighed. "Just get on with it before you bore the kid to death."

Castea smoothed her hair back with her hand as she glared at Zalera. It was obvious she was thoroughly enjoying Hope's reactions. "That crystal is the most powerful object in this world. Only you have the power to find it and wield it. I have no doubt that it could wake your friends. But what we want, brings us back to the whole reason you six were made l'Cie in the first place."

Hope's eyes bulged and he struggled against the leather cuffs, ignoring the sharp pain in his wrists. "No." He knew what she meant. He knew exactly what she meant.

"Yes", she replied, her voice dripping with desire. "You shall use it to bring the Maker back to this world. It shall be rebuilt as a new world, made only for those who deserve it and those powerful enough to rule it." She laughed harshly. "You didn't think it would be that easy to escape your fate, now did you?"

_Easy? _She thought him fighting for his life and that of his friends as well as the rest of the world was easy? After everything he'd lost and sacrificed, he was going to have to face that horror of an unbreakable fate again? "No", Hope cried. "I won't do it and you can't make me. I fought my focus before. I'll do it again. No matter how or if you bring my brand back I won't."

Castea stood and waltzed over to him. "Oh you will... and that's the fun part. The only way to bring back a brand, is through the l'Cie's suffering. It's never been done before, but we all know you love challenges. Or is that just your Guardian?"

Hope glared at the woman as he clenched his jaw. _How dare you talk about Light. _

"I know it's not easy to accept, and really you probably shouldn't. It'll just make it that much harder to reawaken your brand." She brushed her hand against his cheek and only smiled as he pulled away from her. "It's funny really. 'Salvation is born of sacrifice – miracles, of misery.' I'm sure this phrase isn't new to you. You probably just never knew how much it would mean for you in the future."

Hope jolted and fought even harder to get free. Hearing Orphan's words made him want to scream. He couldn't believe it had all been for nothing. They had saved the world, just for it to be in jeopardy again. His plans for the bright and happy future he had tried to create for his people, would be ruined by beings once again trying to bring back their lost deity.

Castea sneered as she walked over to the staircase. "Sebastian", she called.

Quickly running down the steps, the hulk returned in the doorway before Castea. "Lady Hidon", said Sebastian bowing.

"It's time my friend." Sebastian looked over to Hope with a crooked smile.

Hope stiffened. "Don't give in, Hope." He looked over to Zalera. She was glancing worriedly between him and Sebastian as she spoke. "You can't give in. Please just stay strong."

Castea left. Hearing Zalera's words, Sebastian came over to her, rage written on his face. "What did I say about talking?" He delivered a devastating blow to her stomach, knocking the air out of her. As she struggled to breathe, the man tied a cloth around her head, pulled it across her mouth, preventing her from talking. He then pulled his long knife, that seemed to be his favorite, from his belt. "This should be fun."

As he walked over towards him, Hope swallowed. His heart was beating at a rampant pace as he imagined the knife's first plunge into his skin. Sebastian stood over the young man, smile widening as Hope's terror grew. He touched the blade gently to Hope's chest, before slicing down his abdomen slowly.

* * *

The air in the airship was hot and stifling. Lightning was now a part of a search team covering Pulse, alongside Sazh, Nivien and twenty other soldiers. They were to check the abandoned castle on the northern side of Pulse. It had already been eighteen hours since Hope's abduction and the teams were sent to check every location they knew of.

Lightning sat in the back of the ship, away from the rest of the soldiers. She was still pissed at how long it had taken to be allowed on the search team. She still couldn't believe all of the tests she had been made to go through to be eliminated as a suspect. The fact that she had been a suspect in the first place, was infuriating. How they could think that she could ever hurt Hope, was beyond her. But considering that there had been no evidence, other than her wounds, of her story and the attack in the park, she had to admit, she would have made herself a suspect to.

Even after all of the times of going over her story, it still took major convincing to allow her out on the team. She had been hurt badly, and then there was the question of her mental state, but she wasn't going to let anything get in her way of searching for Hope. Besides it was the best option. If they did come across any of Hope's attackers, Lightning was the only person that had experience in fighting them. But even so, she had to agree to take it easy and remain in Sazh and Nivien's sight at all times.

Nivien's continuous glances were getting on her nerves. Lightning tried to ignore them, but she wouldn't let up. It was insulting enough that she had to be babysat, but by Hope's ex? Lightning looked over at Nivien. Thankfully it was one of the few times the Lieutenant hadn't been looking at her. Her posture was off by just a bit but her face was sullen and her eyes held a lot of worry. Her eyes came up to meet Lightning's. She smiled shyly, before gazing back down at her feet.

Sazh yelled to everyone from the pilot seat. "Alright y'all better strap yourselves in. We're landin' this thing." The aircraft shook slightly as it began it's gradual descent to the ground. It jerked a few times as the wheels tried to find purchase on the terrain. About a minute passed before the airship slowed to stop.

All the soldiers stood and grabbed their gear before heading out of the ship. They were split into two teams. One would cover the outside and perimeter of the castle as well as guard the ship, and the other would search the interior of the large structure. Naturally she was on Sazh and Nivien's half of the team and they were the ones to check inside the castle.

The building was grand but very old. Many walls had crumbled over the centuries that it survived through, so they had to be extremely careful about watching for falling stones.

Lightning made sure to stay seen by her babysitters but searched thoroughly where she could, all the while feeling that it was a futile effort. She knew Hope wasn't there. They had no leads on where he could have been taken, so they were looking everywhere. As much as she wanted him to be there, there was a very little chance that he was.

After spending so much time with Hope since she'd woken from her stasis, Lightning found that she hated Hope's job. He had so much on his shoulders. He worked all the time on project after project, while never having time to relax or enjoy himself. Although he'd tried so hard to stay upbeat when he was around her, there was always an air of sadness and exhaustion around him. She blamed his job for it seeing as no matter how smart or mature Hope was, he was still too young for such a burden. But now, she appreciated his position a little more. For if he wasn't the Director, there definitely wouldn't have been such a fuss in finding him - most certainly not teams of soldiers scouring Pulse. Of course, if he wasn't Director, he probably wouldn't have been taken in the first place. For why else would they take him?

Sighing, Lightning felt like attacking something. She needed a release for her rage and unbearable grief. She tried to come up with any other reason for his being a target at all. Other than his position, the only thing he could be taken for was his previous status as a l'Cie, but why now? Why would that be a problem now? It'd been a year since the only attack on Hope ever. Of course, was it just a coincidence that the attack happened exactly a year after that incident? The only people she could think that could be responsible was that city of Sanctum scum. But again it didn't make sense. The people that attacked them were using magic and were most likely l'Cie as well. The Sanctum wouldn't work with l'Cie to abduct a l'Cie. So what else? _Hope is a sweet, smart, innocent kid. There are no other reasons for his abduction. He's harmless. They probably couldn't have taken a nicer person if they tried. He's the last person on Pulse to deserve any pain or attack. _Lightning was only making herself more upset but she couldn't stop. There had to be a reason and she was going to find out. Hope was out there somewhere and she was going to find him.

After a few hours of searching every inch of the castle, they decided it was time to move on. As they were walking down to the first floor, static came over Nivien's radio before horrified shouts. "Lieutenant! Lieutenant! Is anyone there?"

Quickly answering her radio, Nivien replied. "Yes, what's your status?"

Erratic breathing came back at her. "Oh Maker. It's bad. We have three down, two wounded. It was an Adamantoise attack. It came out of nowhere. It's not far from the castle and is approaching."

Nivien's eyes bulged and her face turned grim. "Get everyone you can back on the aircraft", she yelled. She then turned to the rest of her team. "Everyone to the ship."

As they all started running, the soldier came back on her radio. "What about the others? There are soldiers still by it. They could still be alive."

Lightning's eyes shot over to Nivien. They were nearing the entrance of the castle and could hear the scrambling soldiers outside. "We have to leave them."

Lightning stopped and pulled on Nivien's jacket. "They'll die."

Nivien gave Lightning an impatient glance. "We don't know how hostile that thing is. It could come after all of us or even our ship. I'm not risking it."

Lightning growled as they ran outside and toward the ship. The Adamantoise was about fifty feet away from them and it roared as it was coming in their direction.

"Damn it's close", said Sazh.

As they all began entering the aircraft, they heard a shrill scream of a soldier from the Adamantoise's direction. Lightning stopped, just as she was about to enter the ship she spun on her heal and barreled off toward the beast and fallen soldiers.

Sazh caught sight of this and yelled after her. She ignored him and continued her path. He turned to Nivien who looked extremely pissed, but unsure of what to do. "Ah hell." Sazh ran off the ship after her.

Nivien cried out in frustration before telling her soldiers to stay put and guard the ship. Speeding off after the two she cursed the Sergeant's stupid behavior. She knew this had nothing to do with the soldiers and had everything to do with Hope.

After a few short minutes, Lightning was within striking distance when the giant swung it's head down, swiping at her with it's tusks. Leaping out of the way, she hit the ground and rolled off her shoulder, then stood up in her usual battle stance. Shots rang out from a few feet behind her. She glanced seeing Sazh and Nivien joining the party.

No one spoke as they looked at the beast in front of them, gaping at their challenge. Lightning knew she must have lost her mind. The few times they'd gone up against these things, they'd barely made it out alive – and that was with magic on their side.

Focusing on the battle, the Sergeant rushed at the Adamantoise, striking it's left foreleg. Nivien began slashing at it's right as Sazh fired off a few distracting shots in it's face. Lifting it's right leg, Nivien leapt away from it's coming step, and sighed when it just missed her. Lightning slashed and scraped at the feral creature's leg relentlessly until giving it one final stab. It's left leg began to buckle, but it didn't topple over until a few well placed shots from Nivien and Sazh hit it's right foreleg.

It then crumpled to the ground. Nivien took this opportunity to check the soldiers around the fallen beast. As she suspected, they were all dead. Lightning and Sazh continued their attacks as they shot at the Adamantoise's face. Nivien joined in as she began slashing into the monster. Using one of her most powerful manadrives, Nivien sent a shock into the beast that didn't seem to even tickle the monster.

It slowly stood, leading the party to quickly jump back from the giant. When it gained it's stance, the three went back to swiping at it's legs and dodging it's attacks until it fell back to the ground.

Nivien yelled toward her two battle mates. "We have to leave. They're all dead and we will be too if we don't get out of here."

Lightning wanted nothing but to destroy the monster in front of her, but Nivien was right. They were all already tired, sweaty and sore. The monster was nowhere near death and they couldn't finish it off with just them alone.

The group turned tail and ran. Nivien went to speak into her radio, hoping to get the co-pilot to start up the ship. "Come in, this is Lieutenant La Salle. I need Pockelle to get the ship going. We're on our way back."

"Roger that", came a soldier's reply.

The group continued speeding off toward the ship and they could hear the beast stomping behind them. Their only advantage was that the creature was slow, but even so, it's steps were long and covered far distances.

After a few nerve wracking minutes, they finally came upon the ship and jumped inside of it. The beast wasn't far so Nivien yelled toward Pockelle to get them into the air, fast.

When it was over and they were safely away from the castle, Sazh took over piloting. Nivien, still completely shocked and infuriated by her soldier's rash actions, walked over to Lightning. She was standing against the wall of the back of the ship, arms crossed. "What the hell was that Farron? I gave an order and-"

"I didn't agree with it." Lightning came off the wall and stood before Nivien, her face stoic.

Nivien's eyes flared with anger. "I would have left you back there if Katzroy hadn't run after you, you know that?" She put her hands on her hips as she continued yelling. "Your done. I'm not allowing you off this ship for the rest of the trip." Lightning went to speak but Nivien turned away from her and began walking back toward the front of the aircraft. "And when we get back to Academia, I'm recommending that you get taken off of the search." She had only made it a few steps when she stopped, hearing a gunblade switch modes. She turned to see that Lightning had drawn her weapon. "Think this through Farron."

Lightning couldn't believe what she was doing. It was as if her arm had acted of it's own accord. She was extremely pissed at the Lieutenant for her plans, but she would never draw on a superior officer - especially when Nivien was right. Lightning had gone rogue back there and endangered everyone. But she wasn't listening to reason anymore. It was as if her body had shut off her brain and was listening only to her emotions. "I have to do this. I'm the one responsible for his abduction. I should have been there to protect him."

Seeing Lightning raise her gunblade, Nivien whipped hers out of it's holster. "Don't do it. You know that you aren't capable of making the right decisions right now. I know you want to find Hope and so do I-"

"Then how are you so calm", Lightning asked, practically in a yell. The other soldiers stayed away from the two's bickering, trusting their commanding officer to handle it, but it didn't stop them from watching the scene intently. Hearing the conversation that would no doubt turn into a fight, Sazh gave his copilot the controls. He stood up and walked back to the two women.

"I'm calm because I have to be. You don't think I care, is that it? I know what that was about, you weren't concerned about those soldiers. If you had been thinking, you would have made the same call as me and you know it. That was about you looking for a fight." Lightning's eyes grew wide at the accusation. "You were reckless. Hope needs us to be level-headed or he'll never be found."

Lightning huffed, still not lowering her weapon. "Cuz you know what Hope needs."

Nivien's jaw dropped, and it was the Lieutenant's turn to lose herself in her emotions. She went to strike Lightning with her weapon, but was easily parried. Lightning sent a kick in her direction but Nivien blocked it, and in turn almost dropped her weapon. Noticing this, Lightning moved to knock it out of her hand completely, but was stopped by Sazh grabbing her around her waist.

"Now that's enough", he yelled.

Lightning elbowed him in the chest until he let her go. She looked back at Nivien, who now stood with an expression of contempt on her face, and holstered her gunblade. Sighing she went to walk back to her previous spot. She knew what she had done was stupid and she'd only made it worse. There could be serious consequences for her behavior and actions. _Taking on my superior? What the hell is wrong with me? _

Nivien watched Lightning walk away but she wasn't finished. She'd allowed herself to be baited into a battle and she couldn't stand it. Worse, she'd been baited with her feelings about Hope. Lightning had questioned hers and Hope's relationship and she wouldn't let that go. "Don't make the mistake of thinking that you are the only one who cares about Hope."

Lightning froze. Sazh slapped his forehead as he sighed. "Come now. We don't need this. La Salle, don't you think you oughta go over what happened with your soldiers and call base about the incident?" Nivien shot a hard glance at Sazh before nodding and leaving to find out what had happened. He then went over to Lightning who was still frozen in place. "What were ya thinkin' girl? Are you even thinkin'?"

Lightning brushed him off. "Get away from me Sazh."

"Oh no. You could have gotten me killed. I think I deserve an explanation." Lightning sat in one of the seats on the wall of the back of the ship. Sazh followed, standing in front of her. When she didn't respond, he continued. "I've seen you pull a lotta crazy shit Lightning, but that was just dumb."

"I know alright", said Lightning, frustration evident in her voice. "I just... I deserve to be taken off the team and I know it. I shouldn't have been allowed on it in the first place obviously but... I was supposed to protect him. I promised him that."

Sazh, deciding it was best to leave her alone, went to return to his job. They still had a few more places to check before returning home after all. As he went to take back over controls, Nivien grabbed his shoulder. She was on her comm. Her previous pissed expression was now replaced by worry. "We have to go back to base. There's been an emergency. Everyone's being called back in."

* * *

Castea sat at an old desk, listening to Hope's cries of pain. She smirked as she reveled in the continual success of the plan. She had no idea how long it would take for them to bring the boy's brand back, but they would at any cost.

A harsh knock pulled Castea out of her happiness and a look of unpleasantness shot across her face."Yes",called the woman unhappily. The door opened and in stepped a man also adorned in a white robe, much like Castea's.

"Castea, we have a problem."

Rolling her eyes, she stood. "I knew this was all going to smoothly. What is it Barsilisk?"

He shifted a bit. "I already have a plan and... have kind of already put it in motion but I-"

"And you didn't come to me first?" Her eyes filled with rage.

Barailisk merely smiled at her small fury. "I don't have to run everything past you. I'm not one of your servants." She huffed as he drew closer. "They know about the Ark."

Castea's gaze darkened. "I thought they didn't know this one's location?"

"Apparently our intel was wrong. But it doesn't matter, my plans going fine. I just need your help."

* * *

After they had landed back in Academia. All of the soldiers were told to report to G.C. and Calvary headquarters immediately. All except for Nivien, Sazh and Lightning of course. They were told to stay put in the hangar.

They stood waiting quietly. Nivien and Lightning wanted nothing to do with each other and Sazh was too afraid to say anything to the very pissed and dangerous women. Amodar and Rygdea appeared about ten minutes after their arrival.

Nivien and Lightning saluted to the General as he approached. He went straight over to Nivien. "We need to talk", he said sternly with sympathy in his eyes. Amodar grasped her shoulder and pulled her away to the other end of the hangar.

Sazh and Lightning turned their attention to Rygdea. His eyes were filled with a mixture of emotions. "Whats going on Rygdea", asked Lightning as she crossed her arms.

He grimaced before running a hand through his hair. "We've lost a search team."

"What", asked Lightning and Sazh simultaneously. They glanced at each other before Sazh continued. "A whole team? So soon? Which-"

Sazh was cut off by a sharp cry from the other side of the hangar. "No", Nivien cried. "No they can't..." They watched her fall to her knees, clutching her sides.

Sazh knew immediately the answer to his question.

Rygdea shook his head before speaking. "One of our ships was attacked. When we sent a team to find it, all they found was our crashed ship and Maqui all beaten to hell inside. The rest of the team was nowhere to be found."

Now Lightning understood Nivien's cries. If it was the team that Maqui had been on, then Olly La Salle had been on it as well. They had been put on the team checking the eastern side of Pulse. That was all Lightning knew of their mission. But if only Maqui remained, then that meant Nivien's brother was now missing too.

They watched the woman cry for her brother as Amodar knelt down and put a hand on her shoulder. "Wha-what do we do", asked Sazh

Rygdea sighed. "Maqui woke up in the rescue ship on their way back. He told the medics that it was a bunch of men in black cloaks that had attacked." Lightning looked up from the ground to find Rygdea staring at her as he spoke. "He said that there was one man, a leader in a white robe that told him to tell us something." Rygdea swallowed and clenched his fists tightly. "He said to call off the search or there would be a body a day delivered to us."


	9. Broken

**A/N: I can't believe I managed to get this written. I was sure my hectic schedule and mounds of work were going to prevent me from meeting my deadline but nope, it only took me a week. One of my friends asked me how I could write so fast and still be so thorough and really, it's just because I love writing so much. :)**

**Warning For Future Chapters: The M rating is mostly for language, violence and gore but this fic will also have some sexual content. Just so you know, this story is still rapidly evolving and I'm not sure about some directions that it may take. It may end up being heavily sexually suggestive but will not be a full on lemon. **

**If you wish for me to write a HopexLight lemon, I may be convinced into writing a one shot. I've never written a lemon nor a one shot before, but I'm always looking to try new things in my writing. Hit me up in a pm or a review if you want me to, and I'll see what I can do. **

**Thanks for all of you're support and reviews. I may not be able to respond much but I do read your reviews. I truly appreciate them and they keep me going. Really, thanks. Enjoy the new chapter and review please :)**

* * *

Lightning took a deep cleansing breath. It had been an hour since they'd been given the news and were now at the hospital on their way to see Maqui. It was just her, Rygdea and Sazh. Amodar and Nivien had left, to the Lieutenant's immense displeasure and disapproval, to deal with their remaining soldiers until they could figure out their next move.

The hospital was the last place Lightning wanted to be. She hadn't been inside one since the passing of her mother. The familiarity of the luminescent lighting, the unpleasant fragrance of ammonia and bodily fluids, and the air of the sick and dying all hit her, strangling her with the repressed memories of the countless days and nights of lying beside her ailing parent. For months the young Farron sisters had spent every bit of their spare time in the hospital. Half of the time they would just be a presence in their mother's quiet room. Lightning would usually sit in a chair doing her homework, while listening to the machines helping their mother live and the muffled crying of Serah. It was a rare occasion when their mother would be awake and even rarer for her to be lucid enough to recognize her daughters.

One night, while Serah slept in a corner of the dark room, their mom awoke to find her hand held tightly by the older Farron. For a moment, Lightning smiled, thinking that maybe her mother would be herself again and give her that long awaited hug. Only to have that thought shattered as her mother quickly drew her hand back in fear of the young girl beside her, completely unaware of who she was. Within the last few months before her death, the teenager grew to despise and revile her mother. She'd even gone so much as to wish for her mom's death; wishing to end all of the pain and sorrow of that terrible year. Almost immediately she'd taken it back, completely shocked at her own horrible thoughts. She never forgot that wish. Especially when her sister was clutching desperately onto her side as they watched their mother draw her last breath and the doctors fail to revive her.

For Lightning, the hospital is not only a reminder of the fragility of life, but a place that reverts her back into her fifteen-year-old self that selfishly wanted her mother's demise. It brings back the guilt that she shut off long ago when she chose to become a soldier and forget her past. In fact it was that guilt, that had led the young Claire Farron to become Lightning.

The hurricane of emotions about her mother swirled with those of Hope and threatened to drown the soldier. The grief, guilt, fear and anger all bombarded her, leaving a heavy weight on her heart. She couldn't let it continue. If she wished to go forward, she needed to steel away those thoughts and feelings. It took a few minutes but by the time they neared the young mechanic's room, she was her usual stoic soldier self.

As they approached the hospital room, they saw Yuj and Lebreau sitting on the ground beside the door. Yuj's face was covered by his hands as he sat with his knees to his chest. Lebreau sat beside him, cross legged with a grim and sympathetic look on her face as her hand rubbed Yuj's shoulder. At the sight of the three approaching, Lebreau stood, hope filling her eyes.

"Have you guys-", Lebreau and Rygdea started simultaneously. Looking away for a brief moment, with tears filling the brims of her eyelids, Lebreau continued. "Have you guys found anything?"

Yuj's head popped up at the question, his hands sliding off his face. There was a serious dullness to the man's expression that just didn't belong there. Sazh and Lightning stood with their eyes to the ground as Rygdea stepped forward.

Rygdea shook his head slowly. "Not yet." Lebreau whimpered as she bit her lip. She tried to calm herself while Rygdea put a hand on her shoulder. "How's Maqui?"

"It's..." Lebreau sighed before clearing her throat and giving him a stern look. "He'll be alright. He's... unconscious right now. He has some nasty bruises and cuts. His shoulder was dislocated. The worst is a few of his ribs are bruised, but-"

"Other than that he's just peachy", yelled Yuj. He stood and looked to those in front of them. "So, Lightning gets attacked, Hope goes missing, then Olly, Gadot and some soldiers get taken. And now Maqui gets beaten to-to... What next? What do these people want?"

Lightning's eyebrows raised. She had known that Olly had been on Maqui's search team, but Gadot as well? Now she understood the serious gloom that had overtaken the usually peppy two.

Lebreau walked over to Yuj. She tried to pull on his arm but he shrugged her off. "I mean is this all really just about Hope? They already have him. What does this have to do with-" Yuj stopped short. He slammed his back into the wall and slid down into a squat.

Rygdea stepped toward Yuj but Lebreau held up a hand, signaling him to stop. He put his hands on his hips. "I know this isn't easy but we need to stay calm and rational." He gave a subtle glance in Lightning's direction.

Over the course of the past hour, Rygdea had been briefed on a summary of their mission, along with Lightning's actions and outburst. It thoroughly stunned him. He was ready to send her home but decided it was better to keep her close. Who knew what she could do when left on her own?

"Yes, this is about Hope. I guess we mighta spooked 'em on our search because the purpose of their attack was to get us to stop looking for him."

Lebreau leaned against the wall on the other side of Yuj, closest to Maqui's door. "Why did they have to take them? And w-why beat up Maqui?"

Rygdea ran a hand through his hair. "They took them as leverage against us, and beat up Maqui to show us they mean business." He sighed. "If we don't stop the search... Gadot and Olly... as well as the rest of the soldiers... will be killed."

Lebreau gasped.

Yuj tensed as his hands turned into fists. "But why all this for Hope? Why do they want him anyway? And why are they willing to go through all this trouble to keep him?"

Just hearing his name was making Lightning's heart hurt. She stepped away a few steps until Sazh rested his hand on her shoulder. She steeled her expression before turning back to the group, nodding to Sazh that she was alright.

Rygdea was about to speak when a nurse came out of Maqui's room. "He's awake." That was all she said before leaving and walking down the hall.

Yuj jumped up and ran inside, quickly followed by Lebreau. The rest of them followed soon after. Maqui laid in the hospital bed, many wires stuck into his arms, looking like he'd been dragged out of hell. The young man's eyes widened at the sight of his friends. Lebreau and Yuj jumped on him, hugging him the first chance they got, both on opposite sides of the bed.

"Okay guys", said Maqui, muffled by Lebreau's shoulder. "I'm okay. Jeez, it's not like I died or anything." He laughed a bit before wincing. The two quickly let him go in fear that they may have harmed their best friend.

"We're just glad you're okay Maq." Lebreau smiled as she hugged him again.

Yuj punched him ever-so-gently on the arm. "Yeah, don't worry us like that dude."

"Alright", he replied chuckling. Glancing up at the others in the room, Maqui's face turned serious. "Are they really gone? I didn't just imagine it right? If I could only be so lucky."

Sazh sat down in a nearby chair, knowing that he had nothing to really contribute in this conversation. He was just glad that the kid was alright. These attacks were getting messy enough.

Lightning smiled inwardly at the sight before her. She didn't want anyone else getting caught up in this mess. She knew this was all about Hope. She knew that the moment the man had called her Guardian and asked her if she had what she needed. If this was all truly about Hope, then Maqui, Gadot, Olly and those soldiers all didn't need to be hurt as well. She was glad the young mechanic was alright but she was anxious to get answers from him. Wanting nothing more than to find Hope, she listened intently to the conversation, while leaning on a wall beside Sazh.

"No, sorry to say you didn't imagine it. What do you remember", asked Rygdea calmly.

Lebreau stepped forward hesitantly. "Can't this wait? I mean Maqui just woke up."

Gripping the bar at the edge of Maqui's bed, Rygdea bit the inside of his cheek. "Unfortunately no. We need all the information we can get. If we can't find all of the search team soon... we'll have no choice but to stop the search all together and give in to their demands."

Those words cut into Lightning like a knife. She had put her whole being into the search for Hope, and it had only just started. Her only goal in life now was to save him. They couldn't give up. _I'd __die first. _Despite the storm inside her, she kept quiet, praying to the goddess that it wouldn't be the case.

Sazh noticed the slight shift in the soldier's stance. Knowing he was going to have to keep an eye on her until they found Hope, he let his head fall back to the wall behind him.

"It's okay guys, really." Maqui sat up a bit as he tried to reassure his friends. "I want to do what I can to help find everyone."

Lebreau and Yuj reluctantly backed off and took the seats beside Sazh as Rygdea came over to Maqui's side. He sat on the edge of the bed by his feet. "Okay, why don't you just tell us what you know."

The young man brought his hand up to his head, digging his nails into his scalp as he focused. "Everything was going fine. We'd just finished searching the abandoned village of Nalquif when there was a large charge of electricity that seemed to surge throughout the ship. It fried all of the circuits and we could no longer control anything. We started to fall and fall and fall. I swear my stomach had found a new home in my throat. Just as we were about to hit the ground, it was like an invisible hand caught us. The sudden stop jerked us all forward and we fell, tumbling to the front. A few moments passed and just as we all thought it was safe to stand again, the ship smashed down into the ground. I fell forward against the wall and ended up getting knocked out. I came to not long after though. Next thing I knew there was some gunshots and yelling before everyone seemed to freeze. My vision was incredibly blurry mind you so I rubbed my eyes but, I was correct. Everyone was frozen, like time had stopped."

Sazh furrowed his brow. "Were you?"

He shook his head quickly before carrying on. "No, and I thought it was weird too. But I had fallen half into the weapon storage closet, so whoever... did it couldn't see me I guess. Anyway, I heard while everyone was frozen in place, the ship open up. It was like those guys were controlling the ship from the outside. Buttons and controls were moving by themselves." Maqui stopped to catch his breath. "Three big and I mean BIG guys came on the ship in these black cloaks. I didn't know what to do so I..." He drew in a deep breath. "...I'm not proud of myself, guys. Not at all." Glancing at all of the eyes in the room, he clasped his hands together, and rested them back on the bed. "I pushed myself back in the closet." Hanging his head in shame, Maqui didn't wish to see all of their expressions. They now knew how he survived. He was a coward. "I couldn't see anything else from there but I heard a man giving orders. Then there was a few loud thumps and grunts. Another guy called him something like Master Hidden or Hi... Hi... something. I couldn't get all of it. Then there was silence. It went on for minutes that felt like centuries. I thought it was over but then a shadow came over the light on me and... there was a hooded man. He picked me up by my collar and dragged me out." Maqui was visibly shaking now and his eyes were shut.

Lebreau came up beside him and put an arm around his shoulders, gently so as to not touch any of his injuries.

He took a shuddering breath before continuing. "He threw me onto the floor in the middle of the ship. Then a man came up before me. He had black hair tied up in a bun. There was... a scar on his face, under his left eye. I figured he was the leader since his cloak or hooded robe or whatever-it-was had been different. It was white. One of the giants went to... do something to me but the guy stopped him. He said I could be of use. He then knelt in front of me and smirked... he smirked." Maqui was now yelling furiously. "He was the guy that had probably orchestrated everything... this whole mess and he was smirking. I was quaking in fear then but..." He calmed a bit. "Now I just wish I'd fought back. But that's not important", he spat. "He told me to remember what he was going to say to me. He said that he was taking my friends but he swore he wouldn't harm them unless it came to it - that he just wanted us to stop looking because Hope was fine."

Lightning came off the wall and stood, tense as ever. Her ears perked as she impatiently waited for further information.

"...And everyone else will be as well, as long as we stop the search. If we don't they will deliver a body a day to us. If we continue even after they've... gone through what they have..." Maqui swallowed. "...Then they'll just get more. And he said that after that, he wouldn't be able to ensure Hope's safe return. That they... Maker they..." Sniffing he was unable to finish.

Lightning's eyes grew wide. She wanted to smack the little runt holding information but she held herself back, unsure of how many more incidents she could get away with. So she calmly, well as calmly as she could manage, asked him, "They'll what?"

All eyes went to her but she didn't care. She wanted answers. Rygdea in response, gave her a warning look.

Maqui, looking straight into her cerulean stare, responded. "They may have to keep a few pieces." He then squeezed his eyes shut and covered them. "Maker how could this happen?"

Lightning felt her stomach plummet inside her. She then felt bile rise in her throat, but she tried to remain calm and hold it back. _No. They can't do that to him. They can't. I'll kill them. I'll kill them all. _

Sazh bent forward in his chair, his head in his hands. "That kid... Maker knows what they want with him if their willing to..."

Lebreau and Yuj exchanged worried glances, both having parallel thoughts. They couldn't believe it. In order to save Olly and Gadot, they'd have to give up looking for Hope. While leaving him to be subjected to whatever horrors his captors were going to put him through.

Rygdea was shocked. He was speechless for one of the first times in his life. He was now completely unsure if this whole thing could have a good outcome or not. _Please Etro, let him be safe._ Truly, Hope had become like a son in the man's eyes. Which to Rygdea, was quite shocking considering he had sworn off having kids his whole life. But Hope had filled a void that he hadn't known even existed; a void that longed for a family. Even before the kid's father had passed, they had been close. Hope would always come to him or Sazh with the questions or concerns he was too embarrassed to talk about with his father. They would also talk and spar when his dad was too busy with all of the jobs his position bestowed upon him. Hell, he was the person who taught him how to use a gunblade. And after Bartholomew's death, they'd only gotten closer. He'd never want to replace his father, by any means, but it meant the world to him that he could just be there for Hope when the kid needed it.

Maqui dropped his hands to his lap. "Then the man signaled the guys around me and they started hitting me. After the first couple of blows... I was out." He turned his head away from everyone.

Rygdea stood. "You did the right thing Maqui." The young man's eyes shot toward him. "You survived. If you'd tried to fight... you probably wouldn't be with us now." The man squeezed Maqui's shoulder gently, before thanking him and leaving the room. Lightning and Sazh followed while Lebreau and Yuj stayed with their injured companion.

Shutting the door behind him Sazh turned to Rygdea. "What now?"

Before Rygdea spoke, Lightning cut him off. "Don't you dare say it." She glared at him, fists balled at her sides. She knew what he was going to say for she knew how they had to handle the situation. Really they had no choice. They couldn't risk the lives of more soldiers and people for the life of one man – even if said man was their leader. Lightning just couldn't and wouldn't accept it.

Rygdea heaved a heavy sigh, not wanting to hash it out with her, but finding it unavoidable. She wasn't going to like what he had to say. "We have to end-"

Lightning punched him square in the jaw. "I said don't", she practically pleaded.

Holding his jaw, he turned back toward her, glancing at Sazh, who just put his hands up, resigning himself from this battle. Having had little interaction with the woman, Rygdea hadn't expected her reaction. From the small time he'd known her as l'Cie, what he'd heard about her from Hope, Sazh and Amodar, and from what he'd been told about the mission, he really should have. But he hadn't, so it had taken him by surprise. "Lightning please. I can't believe it either but we have to."

Her shoulders tensed and she bit her lip. The man did seem to care a lot about Hope and his words held so much regret. She could tell he wanted to find him almost as much as she did.

Before anymore words could be uttered, Lebreau quietly came out. "Maqui said he forgot something. He said... that the main leader guy, was definitely a l'Cie." She waited for a reaction to register on their faces before going on. "He said... his brand was on his neck, under his ear." She placed her hand on the spot of her neck that Maqui had shown her, when explaining the brand. "He said it wasn't like the one Snow had shown us though. It was like... all white... he said." She quickly turned back into the room.

They stood silent for a moment before Rygdea cautiously spoke. "Wasn't Fang's-"

"Yeah", Sazh replied.

* * *

It was now around midnight as Sazh and Lightning walked back to their rooms. They had been told to go home and rest up. They were due at G.C. Headquarters in the morning to discuss the future of the search.

Lightning walked to her door and stopped. She rested her forehead on the door frame for a moment, steadying her emotions.

Sazh looked toward her from his room. He stood in his doorway, half inside, but paused looking at Lightning. "You okay?"

She didn't answer and instead quickly unlocked her door. She froze just as she entered. The first thing to hit her line of sight, was the couch. Almost immediately she turned, leaving the room and slamming the door shut behind her. She leaned her back against the door and closed her eyes.

Sazh was now beyond confused. _What the hell is going on with this girl?_

As soon as her eyes had locked onto the couch, her breathing stopped as her heart began beating rapidly. It was as if it was the other night again – when Hope had slept over. She saw him laying blissfully asleep on her couch. His breathing was slow and steady. His left hand rested just under his face, gloved fingers lost in his messy hair. His face was so peaceful. All of it played over in her vision in the span of a few seconds, before she couldn't bare to see it any longer. She had no choice but to leave her room.

Sazh waited for her to say something, to move, to breathe, anything. When he realized she actually wasn't breathing, he went over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. Jolting at the touch, she grabbed his hand and bent it painfully backwards. Just before he was about to cry out, she let go, realizing what happened. "Damn, Lightning. What the hell?"

Lightning turned away from him, arms crossed. "Sorry... reflex."

She said nothing more, causing the old man to sigh. "Alright look, something is obviously going on with you and..." He stopped, receiving a dangerous glare from the soldier. "... and I'm not going to make you tell me nothin' or anythin' but I think you should stay in my place. I'll take the couch and you can have the bed. I just don't think you should be-"

"I'll take the couch." She turned and went into his room. She knew she couldn't face that memory again, so going back into her room wasn't an option. Although she didn't want to impose on Sazh, she figured it would just be one night. She'd get over it by tomorrow. Or she would force herself to.

Quickly following behind, he shut the door and locked it before getting out an extra pillow and blanket from the closet. He knew better than to argue with the woman. His old bones wouldn't have enjoyed the couch much anyhow.

Accepting the pillow and blanket, while thanking Sazh, she set up the couch. She knew she wasn't going to be able to sleep but she had to try. If she was going to be of any use for finding Hope, she needed to rest. Sazh went into his room after they exchanged their good-nights. Lightning laid on the couch, body begging for sleep, but her mind wouldn't have it. All she wanted was to find Hope, bring him home and kill whoever these people were that had taken him away.

A few long drawn out hours later and Lightning was still awake. She now sat up on the edge of the couch, a cup of coffee in her hands. All she could think about now was what the past day would have been like if Hope had been there. She wondered if they would have continued to get along. If they would have gotten through the stack of papers on his desk with the same amount of ease as before. If they would have gotten lunch from Jun and eaten it on the stone steps again. If they would have continued to learn more about each other. She put her palm to her eye, rubbing it and stopping the never ending questions. It didn't matter what could have happened, all that mattered was what had happened. The fact was that Hope hadn't been there. All the what if's in the world couldn't change that.

She dropped her hand back to her lap as Sazh came out of his room. "It's three o'clock in the mornin' girl. What are you doin' up?" His words were a tad slurred, having just woken up. He rubbed his hand on his cheek as he made his way to the small kitchen.

"I could ask you the same. I made some coffee. Hope you don't mind."

"Nah that's great actually. I need it. Haven't slept a wink really. I suppose same goes for you?" He grabbed a mug and poured the coffee in, before dumping about a cup of sugar in it and making his way over to the couch.

Lightning moved her legs out of the way, giving him room to sit. After he made himself comfortable she replied. "Yeah. I guess sleeps just going to have to wait." A few minutes passed as they let the quiet settle over them. "Can I ask you... a personal question Sazh?"

The man furrowed his brow at her question. The soldier didn't seem much like the get to know you type but then again, without the constant battles and fighting for their lives, what else was there. Her presence was still completely new to him after two years of it just being him and Hope. "Not at all. Shoot... but I don't mean that literally soldier." He smiled and chuckled.

She gave him a half smile in return. "What was your wife like?"

Sazh's face turned serious and confused. He set his cup down on the table beside him and shifted his body so he was facing her. "Why do ya wanna know?"

"I guess... since we're already up and... well I don't know much about you Sazh. And I guess I was just curious." She mimicked his actions and now sat straight up against the arm rest of the couch, looking into his eyes with a considerate gaze.

Unsure of how to continue the conversation, he put a hand to his chin. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk about his wife, he loved talking about her. It brought him joy to share all of his fond memories of her with others. He'd told Hope many things about his wife. But it was what happened after, that gave him pause. When the fond, happy memories turned grim. "How about I tell you about her and then you answer a few questions of mine a'ight? Sound good?"

Lightning's gaze darkened as she crossed her arms. She nodded her head after considering his proposal and waited for him to talk.

"Well her name was Wilda. She had this gorgeous wavy chocolate colored hair. She had these stunning hazel eyes that were just... and her voice was the sweetest thing I'd ever heard. When she'd sing, all my troubles just weren't so troubling anymore." Sazh's eyes glazed over with happiness as he stared off past Lightning. He was no longer in the room with her. He was far off, enjoying remembering his wife. "She was one of the most kind and caring people you'd ever met. She taught tenth grade and you could just tell that she loved her job. I'd get up in the morning and be greeted with the most delicious smelling food on the table accompanied by her smile. She was a terrible cook when I met her..." He laughed still in his own world. "... but she got better as time passed. She even took cooking classes because she wanted to make little ole me happy. And when we had Dahj... well she was such a wonderful mother." A small tear fell down his cheek as he came back into reality.

Lightning felt very uncomfortable and terrible for asking the question. She hadn't meant to make him upset. "I'm sorry Sazh, I didn't mean to-"

"No Lightning. It's quite alright. I love getting to share her memory with others. Especially with my new family."

Lightning looked up from her hands, shocked. It was true that she considered all of her l'Cie friends as family but she didn't know Sazh had felt the same way. She smiled slightly. The darkness and stillness of the room hung over their heads for a minute.

Sazh rubbed his cheek before smirking. "Alright now it's my turn."

Lightning sat up straight turning her expression stoic, readying herself for whatever questions he was going to throw at her. She didn't like it in the least. Sharing things about herself wasn't something she did with many, or anyone at all. But it was only fair.

"What's with you and Hope? And I want honesty." He waved a finger at her as she frowned.

"What do you mean? I told him I'd protect him. I'm just keeping my promise. Besides he of all people doesn't deserve this Sazh." Hoping that, that was enough, she brought her legs up onto the couch and sat cross legged, waiting for another question.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "I said honest."

She glanced in his direction before turning her head away, rolling her eyes. "I don't-"

"Enough bullshit Lightning." Her attention snapped back toward him at his harsh tone. "I've never seen you so torn up, ever... except maybe about your sister. You lost it when you couldn't find him until you had to be sedated, and you took on an Adamantoise. An Adamantoise Lightning! You were going after that thing by yourself. Not to mention your little tiffs with Nivien and Rygdea." She looked away until he grabbed her knee and shook it to get her to look at him. "It's obvious that the kid means somethin' to ya. This is about more than just a promise... Don't ya think?"

Unwilling to explore what Sazh was getting at, she stood. "I'm going to visit Serah. And then I... I'm gonna go for a run. I need to clear my head." Sazh didn't say another word as she left the small apartment.

She practically ran to the stasis room, not slowing down for a moment. She ended up brushing against and bumping into many late workers, but she didn't care. When she finally reached it, she rushed in, wasting no time to get to her sister's side. Falling to her knees, she placed her hand on it's usual spot over Serah's hands.

"I'm sorry I haven't been to see you in a while. It's been a hectic couple of days." Lightning stopped and sucked in a deep breath, trying to make up for those that she'd lost in her mad rush to get there. She didn't know why she thought seeing her sister would help. Maybe it was because her sister usually calmed her. Or maybe it was because Serah reminded her that she wasn't a complete failure. '_You did protect her. Serah is safe, crystallized but safe. Thanks to you, she will wake up to a new world __that will welcome her, instead of threaten her.' _Hope's words played in her mind. He'd had no idea how much those words had soothed her worry for her sister. But now, all those words did, was remind her of her failure with him. "I lost him Serah. I can't believe-" Stopping, she began laughing. "You don't even know him huh", asked Lightning, chuckling as she spoke. "You'd like him though. He's just like you. Smart, kind, caring, gentle... his name's Hope by the way." She smiled. "You can tell that he hates his name, but it and he himself brought us hope through our journey. I don't think... I have to find him Serah. I just have to." She got up and lightly caressed Serah's crystallized cheek with her hand. She then left, continuing with her plan to go for a run. Her body was exhausted and pleading for rest but she didn't listen to it. Her mind was a jumbled mess. The only way she knew to really clear it, was by running.

She stepped outside the Academy building, shivering at the cold early morning air. She reached behind her, looking for the comfort of her gunblade, but it wasn't there. She'd left it in Sazh's apartment in her haste to leave the conversation. She felt a tad weak and naked without it but she shook those feelings away. She didn't need her gunblade to take on an enemy. Nothing would dare mess with her in her current state.

She ran for what felt like hours, over sidewalks, through parks, through construction sites, through open fields, but she stayed in Academia. She wasn't afraid to take on a monster but she wasn't suicidal. Without her gunblade, she could fair rather well, but she wouldn't do half as well. The rush of the cool breeze flying over her skin did wonders for her rampaging thoughts. The air numbed her body and her mind. There was no telling how long she'd been running for, but since the sky was becoming brighter and brighter, she figured it been at least a couple hours. After she thought it'd been long enough and her mind had been sufficiently cleared, she ran back for the Academy building. She kept up her pace, but as her eyes locked on the building, exhaustion crept back into her. Her legs felt like lead and her stomach began to ache. As she hit the small forest behind the building, her body began to give. _No, your almost there. You can do this. You won't fail. _Even as she gave herself those words of encouragement, she began to stumble. Her legs stopped pumping beneath her and she almost collapsed, but luckily she caught herself by holding onto a tree. Catching her breath, she felt like her lungs had shriveled up. Then she felt her stomach churn. She bent forward and puked at the base of the tree. The vomit burned her throat and she tried to hold it back, but she couldn't. When she thought she was done, she stood back up only to hunch over and puke again.

Wiping her mouth, she walked forward, slowly and shakily. She made it about six steps before she fell on all fours. Her body screamed at her, mad for being overexerted. She couldn't blame it, she had pushed it incredibly hard. She'd only wanted to get out of her head for a while. It worked too. It worked so well that she hadn't wanted to stop, so she'd kept going.

As she waited for the world to quit spinning, her mind fell back into it's worries. All that she'd put her poor tired body through, now being for nothing. Her anger at Hope and herself came back. Along with every other emotion she'd previously staved off. Her mind started over with it's list of what if's and all of the different ways she'd mucked everything up.

Memories began to swirl in her mind. All of Hope. From their first meeting back when they'd gotten their brands, to him sticking with her even after being left, to her protecting him from Odin, to his growing strength and determination in the Gapra Whitewood, to their hug and promise in Palumpolum, to his summoning of Alexander, to holding his hand as they floated from Cocoon. And to even her newest memories of Hope. Seeing him all grown, him saving her from the Gargonopsid, them holding hands, their hug in his house, his heartbeat... they wouldn't stop. It all tortured and tormented her until she could no longer stand it. Tears now fell freely down her face. She couldn't hold her grief back any longer. She could only be so strong. Fisting her right hand, she beat it against the ground as she rested her forehead on the cool dirt. Hope's name fell from her lips in a pained whisper before she cried out and yelled into the air.

She stayed like that for who knows how long. It was as if time had stopped for her. All of her sorrow just flew out of her. She let it all out. Her mind and body were spent. She hadn't slept, she'd run herself into the ground, and now her emotions were killing her inside. It wasn't until someone placed a hand on her back that she came back from her agony.

"Lightning?"

She faintly heard the voice. She new she recognized it but her mind just couldn't process it.

"C'mon girl. Get up. This ain't no time to be lyin' around." Sazh tried to stay upbeat but he was now extremely concerned about Lightning. He cautiously put his hands around her waist, attempting to get her up. She made no effort to resist and ended up on her knees. He looked into her face. Her expression seemed dead and lost. "Lightning?" Putting his hands on her upper arms, he gently shook her.

Snapping out of her slump, she blinked rapidly. "Sazh?"

He smiled nervously. "Hey, let's get ya outta here huh?" She nodded and attempted to stand, but almost collapsed back down. Putting her arm over his shoulder, and his around her waist, he walked with her a few steps before she quit walking. Finally he just picked her up and grew even further worried when she didn't protest.

Making it back to her apartment, he stopped, laying Lightning down. She'd fallen asleep on their way there, but he needed her card. "Lightning? Wake up." Her face scrunched up as she woke, but her eyes remained closed. He smirked. "I guess I'll just have to go to the meetin' without ya."

Her eyes shot open. "Wait what?" She sat up. The movement was too fast and she fell back, Sazh catching her.

"Hey, glad to have ya back. We need to get you back into your room though."

Mindlessly she reached into her pocket and pulled out her key. She attempted to stand but Sazh took her keycard from her light grasp and unlocked the door. Helping her up, he got her inside. He tried to lead her to her bedroom but she stopped. "No." She let go of Sazh and gained her balance on her feet. "I'm gonna take a shower." She took a step forward before stopping for a split second and continuing on.

"Alright well I'm gonna wait here. Jus' to make sure your... ya know." Her bathroom door shut behind her. He took a seat on the couch and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. _Man, kids __these days. _He laid down for a minute, trying to rest for a small nap.

Lightning hazily looked at herself in the mirror. Dirt and sweat covered her face. She was shivering cold. Her clothes stuck to her uncomfortably. She began to undress but winced as her body cried out in pain with every small movement. After the trying time of getting her filthy outfit off, she got in the shower. After a few minutes of the hot water on her skin, she felt herself coming back. The aches lessened and her mind focused on the calming feeling of the water. She would think of her shame and embarrassment later, but for now, she lost herself in the soothing warmth of the shower.

She walked out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around her body, and searched the room for Sazh. She was about to think that he'd left, when she heard someone in her room.

Sazh set her gunblade down on her bed and as he was about to leave, Lightning walked in. "Oh, hey. Sorry to intrude... I just." She glanced at her gunblade before giving him a small smile. "You look much better." He rubbed the back of his neck. As he went to leave to allow her to dress, he spotted a small blue-green bandana folded neatly on her desk. He picked it up and held it. _It's Hope's but... _Sazh looked up at her, wondering why she had it. He knew how important it was to Hope.

Lightning's eyes widened as Sazh picked up Hope's bandana. She had meant to give it to Hope the day he had disappeared. She'd washed it and everything, but she'd simply forgotten. Sazh questioned her about it with his eyes. "He lent it to me for something." She crossed her arms as she looked away.

Sazh rubbed the fabric between his fingers. "It was from his mother." Lightning's eyes went to the bandana as her lips parted. "She had given it to him for his fourteenth birthday, not long before..." He sighed and shook his head. "If he let you hold onto it, then..." He looked over at her. Her eyes held slight shock.

"I had no idea."

"Who knew that kid, the youngest of us, could have ended up bein' so strong. He helped us in more ways than he knows, that's for sure." He set the cloth back down on the desk. "Look Lightning, you gotta stop this. You aren't gonna find him if your dead. What happened out there anyway?"

She was still gazing at Hope's bandana. Her hands trembled slightly before she closed her eyes. "How'd you find me?" She opened her eyes to see Sazh's look of annoyance at her avoidance of his question.

He crossed his arms and shook his head. "You had been gone for a while. It was six o'clock when I decided to hunt for ya. I called Alyssa and asked her to locate ya for me. I figured with you bein' so close, I woulda met ya on the way there. But I found ya where she said ya were. It was a good thing I came for ya too cuz-"

"Thank you Sazh." Sazh calmed his stance. She was at least listening to him now. "I'm going to try and get my act together but if we-" Her voice caught and her eyes watered just a tad before she cleared her throat. "If the search gets canceled I don't know what I'm going to do."

Sazh drew her into a hug. In truth, he didn't know what he was going to do either. With Dahj in stasis, he'd become very dependent on Hope's presence. Even if he didn't get to see him much with his hectic schedule as Director, knowing where he was and that he was safe, was all Sazh had needed.

* * *

Three and a half hours had passed by since her last talk with Sazh. It was ten in the morning and they sat in a conference room in G.C. headquarters. She had only gotten a catnap in before coming, so she was still thoroughly exhausted but too anxious to mind. Her, Sazh, Rygdea, Hildough, Nivien and Amodar sat around the table awaiting their last member before starting their meeting.

A loud, forceful knock sounded from the door. "Come in", Amodar bellowed.

A young soldier stepped in looking quite annoyed. "Mr. Harleen sir."

A slender middle aged man walked in behind him. He had short brown hair, that reminded Lightning of Bartholomew's. Actually, he looked a lot like Hope's father. The man even had similar wire-framed glasses. He was dressed in an expensive suit and was impeccably clean-cut, although the scowl on his face made him look very unfriendly. "Well, I'm glad to see you haven't started yet. The traffic is horrendous."

Amodar just smiled and nodded. "It's nice of you to join us Mr. Harleen. Now as Rygdea and I have discussed. We..." he paused looking at those around the table. "... will not be continuing the search."

Lightning closed her eyes. The meeting had only just started and she felt her insides begin to crumble. They couldn't stop. Could they really just stop and forget about Hope? Could they really just move on with their lives as if he meant nothing? As she felt herself begin to crack, there was a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder. She opened her eyes to see that Sazh was trying to help her keep it together. His hand lingered there for a while.

She looked around the table to see how everyone else took it. Rygdea had a dark look in his eyes. Nivien's head was in her hands as her elbows rested on the table. Hildough looked down sullenly at his open notebook in front of him. Amodar looked sympathetic. Harleen looked, simply impatient.

Amodar continued. "As much as I dislike giving in to these people, we have no choice. That team is out there somewhere and if our compliance means they return home safely, then I don't see another option. From what I've heard, these... l'Cie are extremely powerful and we aren't sure how to take them on. One of our best fighters..." He winked at Lightning. "... was able to take on six of them and survive but not without getting her share of injuries. Now we aren't giving up on our Director, not by any means. He is an exceptional young man. He is a great leader and friend. We'll have to hope and pray that he is returned to us safely."

"This isn't fair", said Nivien through her hands.

Amodar looked toward the soldier. "La Salle?"

She dropped her hands to reveal her grief stricken face. Tears threatened to fall, her will being the only thing holding them back. "To what end? What keeps them from giving us more demands? We're just supposed to trust their word? And fine, we end the search and they don't... kill them but then what?" She stood slamming her hands on the table. "How long will they keep them? Until they're finished doing all of their unmakerly things with Hope? When will that be? And what happens when their done with him? Do they just let him and my brother go and leave? To what end huh?" Tears finally began to fall as she stepped away from the table. "Excuse me." She left the room.

"And that's why women just shouldn't be involved in these matters", said Harleen, smirking. He looked up to see Lightning's dangerously dark gaze resting on him. "No offense love."

Lightning was ready to pounce on the man but Hildough spoke up. "As much as we appreciate your presence Mr. Harleen, those comments are not appreciated." He leaned back in his chair before crossing his left leg over his right.

"Right", joined Amodar. "Well we are also going to limit our trips out into Pulse, so they don't mistake us for continuing our search. The only travels any of our ships will be making will be to Sanctum City for necessary meetings and trading. As well as to our current cities under construction."

Rygdea sat back in his chair, crossing his arms. "So that means most of our missions are bein' shut down?"

"Temporarily." Amodar folded his arms and rested them on the table. "Since your current main objective was..." He gave Harleen a sidelong glance. "...Director Estheim's project, all future plans and discussions for that shall also be put on hold, so that took out much of your current work anyhow. Now..." He cleared his throat. "...How is Mr. DeWald, the twenty-three year old mechanic? I know he worked very closely with the Director but why was he on the mission in the first place?"

Sazh sat up. "Hope or... uh Director Estheim did work very closely with... Mr. DeWald but Maqui... uh" He sighed, giving up the professionalism he just wasn't built for. "Maqui also worked with the Aacademy on many projects. He went because he wanted to help search for Hope but he is also one of the best damn mechanics I know, so he also went in case the ship needed any repairs. Knowing the ship they were on, well I'd say it was a good thing he was there. That thing has been in sore need of a fix or two."

Rygdea smirked. "_Mr DeWald_ is fine. He's recovering quickly and has given us some useful information as you've seen from the report."

Harleen sighed as he began playing with his cufflinks. "Yes, yes, this is all good and dandy. Now can we get on with more pressing matters? Hmmm? Like why you want my son to be the new Director?

_New Director? _Certainly she hadn't heard him right. It had been two days and they were already going to replace Hope? Lightning felt her already flimsy calm start to fade away.

Hildough turned toward the irritating man. "It was Director Estheim's choice. As Director, he gets to pick his successor."

"So we're replacing one kid with another? And an even younger one to boot. I stood by and let this place be ruled by the young Estheim in respect to Bartholomew's wishes, but this is too much." The man gritted his teeth while rubbing his cheek harshly. "I won't allow it. He's my son and I say-"

"If I am correct..." Hildough cut him off. "...and I do believe that I am, the boy is emancipated. He gets to make any decision he wants. He already signed off on his consent when the Director chose him."

Harleen huffed. "He's seventeen. My Maker, at least Estheim was legally an adult when he took over. I mean... this is insane."

A knock sounded from the door before a young man stepped through. "Ya talkin' about me?" He had shaggy brown hair, about the same length as Hope's, covered with a brown beanie. He had a black and red striped long sleeve shirt on, black leather gloves, worn and faded jeans with a chain running from the front pocket to the back, and black boots. He had his hands in his pockets and a carefree look on his face. There was a very laid back air around him.

Harleen facepalmed himself. "I told you to wait at home."

The kid shrugged. "And I told you I wanted to go to the meeting. If I'm going to be the new Director-"

"You're not", Harleen Snapped. "Cassidy, you're too young and that's final."

"It's Cass. And it's not up to you." Cass gave his father a smirk before sitting at the table. "Where were we."

_Hope chose _him_ to take over his position. I've never even spoken with the kid and I already want to slap that smug smile off his face._

"It's nice to see you out and about Cass", greeted Sazh. "It's not often we see you in the light of day."

"Yeah daylight isn't my most favorite thing in the world but I'll do what I have to for Hope. Since my friend is being selfish and taking a vacation, I guess I gotta fill in for him." He sat back and put his feet on the table, folding his arms behind his head.

Now, Lightning really wanted to smack him.

Harleen shoved his son's feet off the table. "Do you really want this..." He gestured to Cass with a horrified look on his face. "... running your city."

Amodar chuckled. "From what I know of Cassidy, he's an intelligent young man, second only to the Director himself. He seems, from his record anyway, to be a perfect candidate for the job. He has been chosen by Estheim and seems more than willing to step up to the plate. I see no problem with it. He shall be our Director until Estheim is back in our midst and ready to reclaim his position. As long as the now Director Harleen-"

"It's Leonald." Cass gave a disgusted glance towards his father. "I took my mother's name."

Amodar coughed a bit. "Right. As long as Director Leonald doesn't fall behind on his duties, he should be fine in the position. Director Estheim proved to be a very worthy leader despite his age, I have no doubt you will too."

Harleen growled as he shook his head and stood. "And who will protect him?" He turned toward his son beside him. "Did ya think about how dangerous this could be? They could have taken Estheim _because_ of his position."

Cass rolled his eyes before closing them. "Don't worry so much. You already have a bazillion worry lines on your forehead. Haven't you been listening to sis?" Cass opened his eye just enough to see the pissed look on his father's face. "I'll have bodyguards, right General? I know Hope had them, although he hated it... thoroughly."

"Yes and look what good that did." Harleen took off his glasses and threw them to the table.

The action only caused Cass to sigh. "Dad, I don't think you need to break another pair."

Amodar cleared his throat, hoping to cut in. "I shall..." He thought to himself for a moment until his eyes landed on Lightning. "...Sergeant Farron shall be your personal guard... you'll still have the others of course. She won't leave your side unless necessary."

Lightning's eyes darted toward Amodar but before she could speak, the General tilted his head and gave her a stern look.

Harleen laughed bitterly. "Her? I'm sorry but I don't think-"

"Enough", yelled Cass. He sat up, folding his arms on the table before looking over Lightning.

She couldn't believe it. Not only was she not going to be able to look for Hope, which was killing her inside, she was going to have to babysit some ass hole kid who seemed to have zero respect for his father. Yes, Mr. Harleen seemed to be quite an irritating dick as well, but he appeared to generally care about his son and his safety. Lightning could only hope to get out of it somehow. Maybe the kid wouldn't want her to?_ Yeah, because my luck has been so great lately._

Cass smirked as he finished eying her. "She seems perfect." Harleen started to speak but Cass held up a hand. "End of discussion. I'll be _protected_. Just be happy with that."

Harleen slammed his hand down on the table in front of his son. When Cass didn't move or even look in his direction, he grabbed the collar of Cass' shirt. Forcefully he pulled the kid out of his chair and threw him to the ground.

Lightning's eyes widened and she could now see why Cass had such an oppositional attitude towards his father. Sazh, Hilough and Amodar tensed, looking ready to jump into the affair.

Rygdea stood. "Hey, now Burien... why don't ya just... go take a breather?"

Hildough shut his notebook and put it inside his briefcase before standing as well. "Yes it is getting a little hot in here. I think some fresh air would be very beneficial. Please, do join me Harleen." He walked over to the two, carefully stepping around a stunned Cass, and put his hand on Harleen's shoulder. Grumbling, Harleen nodded and left the room, followed by a sighing Hildough.

Cass wiped his brow before getting up and retaking his seat. "Well, that was fun."

Amodar gave Cass a sympathetic look. "You will be starting your position tomorrow but right now we need to do some more paperwork alright? If you could wait for me outside the room I'd appreciate it _Director_ Leonald." Amodar grinned at the young man as he lazily got up.

"Yeah sure. No problem." Lightning heard him mumble something inaudible as he left the room.

Rolling her eyes, the Sergeant turned to Amodar. "Sir, why am I being tasked with guarding the kid?"

The general scratched his chin as he got up from his chair. "Well, you are one of my finest soldiers and if they do go after Cassidy, you're the only one with experience fighting them." He then glanced at her with a serious look in his eyes. "I know this isn't easy for you Farron."

_Great, he knows. Well of course he knows. Nivien probably told him everything._

"You and the Director were-are... very close, but as we've said, the search has been canceled. Looking for him isn't an option. I figured you'd wish to stay on duty until he has returned."

_What else am I supposed to do? _Really, Lightning hadn't given it much thought. The minute she'd lost Hope, her only objective was to find him and bring him home. Never in a million years would she have guessed that she would have to give up on him, which in her mind that was exactly what they were doing, and continue on with life. But how would she continue? She knew going back to work probably wasn't the best option with her current emotional state. The past two days had enough proof of that. But what other options were there? Stay at home and destroy everything in her small apartment until there was nothing left to damage but herself? _I have no choice really. _She looked up and noticed Amodar was waiting for her to speak. Sitting up, she nodded her head toward him. "Of course sir."

Amodar nodded back and gave her a small smile before leaving the room.

"That all went incredibly well", said Rygdea sarcastically. He stood up and stretched.

Sazh put a hand on Lightning's shoulder "You okay."

Lightning rolled her eyes. _What the hell is wrong with me? I guess I should have expected this kind of reaction. After all of my outbursts, crying, whining and stupid antics, it's only natural to get pitiful gazes and sympathetic questions. Maker, I hate this. They're going to treat me like just another fragile girl that can't handle shit. _How could she expect anything different though? Truthfully she was a mess of emotions. There was so much rage and sorrow inside her that it threatened to split open the shell she'd managed to build back up. But she wouldn't let herself fall back into the chaos she'd pulled herself out of only hours ago. Not wanting to have anymore conversations about Hope, she sidestepped the question. "Who is Harleen anyway? Why does he get any say in Academy matters?"

The pilot gave her a crooked grin as he shook his head slightly. "He's a real piece of work is what he is."

Rygdea sat on the edge of the table and leaned toward her. "He's an adviser of the Academy. I've never liked the guy much but he and Bartholomew were old friends from before the fall." Lightning's eyebrows raised. He hesitated with his next sentence, unsure of how the soldier would take hearing Hope's name. "Hope and Cass were best friends before it all too."

"So that's why he'd pick such a brat to take over his position." Lightning sat back and crossed her arms. She couldn't bear to think what her days with the young man were going to be like. _He's going to need protection from _me_. _

Chuckling, Rygdea continued. "Yeah he's got quite an attitude, but he is seventeen." They all laughed briefly. "No, he's been through some tough times - and the General wasn't kidding when he said Cass was qualified. Besides the work ethic, the kid's a lot like Hope. There's an incredible mind inside that ball of hormones."

"Yeah, good luck with him. He can be a bit much in large doses. He should be pretty used to having a gunblade pulled on him by the time this is all over though huh?" He nudged Lightning, who wasn't amused in the least.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. _Maker Hope, I'm going to kill this kid. I just know __it. Please come back soon - in one piece. You're strong Hope. You can fight them. I just wish I could be by your side fighting with you. _All the reassurances in the world couldn't stop her from imagining the worst, but she would pray, everyday, for his safe return.

* * *

Lightning stared at Hope's office door. She stood outside his office, her eyes burning a hole into the wood as she dreaded going inside. Not only would she have to deal with that obnoxious kid, but she would also have to face more memories of Hope. It was only the third day since his disappearance so her mind was still constantly bombarded by Hope, but she knew it would be much worse in the room before her. _Dammit, what are you doing? You should be finding Hope and freeing him. You shouldn't be babysitting. Where's the soldier that took on the world for her sister? Hope needs you! _Lightning shook those thoughts away. She would give anything to be out searching for Hope but she knew she couldn't. It wasn't because she knew she'd face serious consequences for disobedience - although she would, she'd do anything to get Hope back, even risk her job - but it was his safety, and that of the missing search team's, that kept her back. If those villainous l'Cie caught her looking for him, who knew what kind of pain she could cause them.

Finally sucking up her anxiety, she stepped inside. Cass was sitting at Hope's desk reading a paper from the large stack at his side. He glanced up towards her and gave her a smug smile. It took serious control for Lightning to not march up to the young man and smack that grin off his face.

"I figured you for the knocking type", he stated simply, eyes not leaving his work.

Growling, she sat on the couch across from him, still in it's same place her and Hope had moved it. "Why aren't you in uniform?" The boy was clad in his usual striped long-sleeve shirt and faded jeans.

Cass lazily sat back as he let go of the paper and watched it float back down to the desk. "I'm the Director, so I call the shots. I get to decide if I should be in uniform or not." He stopped and shuddered dramatically. "And I most certainly am not. That uniform may work for Hope, and all of his girly friends may have cooed at the sight of him, but no thanks. I'm not the uniform type."

Lightning's eye twitched involuntarily at Cass' mention of cooing girly friends. "I knew you weren't going to take this seriously."

He chuckled. "What just cuz I'm not wearing some dorky outfit? Or cuz I don't have a stick up my ass like some snobby soldier?" He smirked at her as her head snapped toward him.

She glared at the little twerp who dared to say such things to her. The only people she would ever take teasing from were currently in stasis and captive. Usually her glare would have it's receiver quivering and ready to flee, but not him. He just sat there, satisfied with himself for causing such a look. _He has a death wish. _"You're a real brat, you know that?"

The young man rolled his eyes as he rested his chin on his hand. "Oh c'mon _Claire_. I'm sure you want to use a more colorful adjective than that."

Lightning couldn't help the shocked and questioning expression that came over her. _How did he..._

"Simple." He shrugged as he eyed her, enjoying every tiny irritation he sparked in her. "I'm Director. I have access to everything. One of the first things I did was look into my personal guard's past. By the way your sister is almost as hot as you are... almost."

Pulling out her gunblade, she trudged toward the punk. Lifting it up and under his chin, she snarled at him. "Don't you ever talk about my sister you little prick."

He didn't even flinch. He'd allowed her to walk right up to him and threaten him with death without so much as a twitch in self defense. It's what he wanted. It really wasn't hard to get under her skin. They stayed there for a few moments before she lowered her weapon. "Man, so far everything Hope has ever said about you is true." Her stance shifted slightly. Cass reached into his baggy side pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

"Don't you dare. This is Hope's office, not yours. You can't just do whatever you want in here."

"Hope never minded." He took out a cigarette and lit it. After taking a drag, he continued. "The room's got ventilation. And like I said..." He stood and walked around the desk until he was three feet from the still furious soldier. "Hope doesn't care."

The soldier gritted her teeth before she snatched it out of his hand. "Well I do." She walked over to the desk and shoved it into his can of soda. "And I don't believe you."

Cass smiled as he shook his head. "You know he used to smoke too?"

Now Lightning really didn't believe him. Hope most definitely didn't seem like the smoking type. Of course she could never picture him hanging out with someone as ornery as Cass. Crossing her arms, she gave him a look, unconvinced.

He stared at her eyes, ready to gauge her reaction to his next comment. "It was how Nivien and him met actually. She bummed a cigarette off of him and... it was like _love at first sight_." Cass' eyebrows raised when there was a subtle hint of jealousy that passed over her expression – telling him everything he wanted to know. She stood there still giving him a look of disbelief and Cass decided to move on. "So you're the great Lightning Farron. You certainly live up to your terrifying reputation. I'm just not easily scared off." She scowled at him and sat back down on the couch. "I've heard a lot about you. You left quite an impression on our friend, though I'm not surprised in the least. You are every man's wet dream-"

"Enough", Lightning barked. "You're a creep. I don't know what Hope sees in you." Scrunching up her nose at him, she sat back on the couch, took out her gunblade and began polishing it. "I certainly don't know how you've stayed friends for so long."

"Oh well, that's easy. Your little saint and I actually have... well had a lot in common."

Lightning snorted. "Right." She glanced at him before turning her attention back to her gunblade. "Don't you have paperwork to get through?"

"All done." Cass sat back in his chair and put his feet up.

Lightning's eyes shot back to the kid. "Yeah right. It took Hope and I hours to get through a stack that thick."

"Hope's brilliant and awesome and all but he thinks too much."

"Did you even look at them or did you just sign off on whatever you felt like?" She glared at Cass' nonchalant expression. _He's telling me how much they're alike, yet all I'm seeing is a heaping pile of differences. _

"Please, Claire. I'm a professional. I gave them all a good once-over before signing. I'm not an idiot." He closed his eyes and chuckled. He stopped as he heard a gunblade switch into gun mode.

"Call me that one more time, and you'll be the first assassinated leader of Academia." How she wished she could pull the trigger; give in to her desire and follow through with her threat. But she couldn't, and his cocky grin showed her that he knew it too. Dropping the weapon back to her lap, she looked away from Cass. "Look, just stop. You're an ass hole and I can't do anything about it. You happy now? I'll guard you...protect you but only if you shut your trap. I can be reassigned and leave you with a different guard if that's too much trouble." She smirked at the thought.

Cass frowned, thinking hard about her proposal. "Fine", he said simply before looking back over his papers. "And you're right. I should probably look back over these with a more thorough eye." He winked at her as he began writing on a notepad beside him.

Lightning crinkled her brow. _So he was just trying to rile me up. But why? Is it really just because he's a jerk or... is it something else?_

* * *

He was choking on his own blood. His constant cries were now muffled by coughs and gags as his body attempted to dispel the blood like it was poison. The warm, iron-tasting liquid had gushed into Hope's throat yet again. Rolling his head over to one side, he opened his mouth as he tried to let it all out, but it wouldn't stop. His blood seemed to flow from his mouth with no end. Just as it would begin to dissipate and he'd be allowed air, it would only take mere seconds before another round of the struggle to breathe would continue.

As he fought to clear his airway, the rest of his body writhed in pain. The continuous struggle to free himself had left his ankles and wrists raw – causing layers of his skin to peel off as his binds ripped into him. His chest had a copious amount of slashes, there were a few second and third degree burns on his arms and neck, and his teeth were still chattering from the four rounds of shocks he'd suffered through earlier.

He couldn't handle anymore. The torture seemed to last forever. It felt like a week had passed by since this last round had started. Realistically, he knew it had only been a day, maybe two, since the first time had begun. But time slowed agonizingly while he was being tormented by Sebastian.

Even though it appeared to be impossible to keep track of time, Hope knew they kept some sort of routine. He would suffer through countless stabs, burns, shocks, hits, until he'd eventually pass out from the pain. Then he would wake up in his cell with some food. A few calming and cherished hours would pass until they would retrieve him again to continue the cycle. Of course now he fought back against the big man that would come for him, but the effort was fruitless. He still ended up strapped back to that table, ready for more excruciating pain. Only difference would be, he'd have some new bruises and usually a nasty head injury.

Zalera, he now assumed, was locked away in her cell. He hadn't seen her since he'd passed out after the first round. This made him happy. At least she wasn't being tortured anymore. He'd taken her place and had stolen their tormentors' attention. Although he would give almost anything to be out of the wretched l'Cie's grasp, he was glad to give her time to rest. Maker only knew how long she'd had to put up with the sadistic man. How she managed to remain sane through it all, he couldn't fathom.

Attempting to escape his anguish, he would retreat into his mind. Many times the pain would rip him out of any peace he would try to grasp, but when he'd succeed in finding even only a minute of happy thoughts, it was always about his family and his friends. His mind would go from something so simple as his recent days working with Lightning or Maqui to being back in his fourteen-year-old self with his mom and dad. Most of the time though, his thoughts were dominated by Lightning. He wanted most of all to be back with her - talking and working with her. He'd waited for so long for her to come out of stasis. It didn't seem fair that she'd come out just for him to get snatched away.

Currently, Hope's mind was actually enjoying his Gapra Whitewood memories, while his body dealt with the pain. He was thinking about the speech Lightning had given him about controlling his emotions when a shocking stab jolted him out of his reverie. Sebastian smirked as he slid his knife into Hope's chest slowly. Gritting his teeth, Hope felt vomit rise as the knife struck his spine. He lifted his head and turned to the left, trying to puke as far away from himself as possible. Sebastian held the knife there for a few more moments until he let electricity shoot from him, to the blade, and into Hope. The shock shot through the young man so quickly that it made his heart skip a few beats. The burly man then twisted the knife inside Hope before finally taking it out. Hope struggled yet again to breathe. This time it was because the knife had nicked his lung. As he gasped for air, he felt his limbs go numb and the warm blood ooze out over his stomach. It wasn't long until black spots formed in his vision, followed by complete darkness as he slipped into unconsciousness.


	10. Faith

**A/N: Has it really been almost two weeks since I last updated? I'm terribly sorry for the delay. I usually update within a week but life just got all kinds of complicated. Also I most definitely will not be updating for a few weeks. Gotta get the last of my schoolwork done before deadlines. Sorry :/**

**Ugh! I must say, through that whole last chapter I wanted to just send Lightning to Hope's rescue and have her kill 'em all dead. But that would just be far too simple and satisfying huh? Well maybe this chapter then…**

**Thank you to all of my wonderful reviewers out there. It was good to hear from some new readers as well as those returning. Trust me, I am not unsympathetic to our little Hope. His torture is torturous for me as well but unfortunately… it must be done. Will it end soon? Now you know I can't tell you that. And I'm glad Cass turned out to be a relatively well received character. I was unsure how his addition to the story would affect it and my lovely readers. **

**As always, enjoy the chapter and do review. I love all my readers regardless but a review just brightens my day and pushes me to update sooner. Thanks :)**

* * *

"_Oh, c'mon Lightning. Just this once? Please... you used to do it all the time." Serah pleaded with her sister but it seemed she wouldn't budge. They were all on the beach of Bodhum, enjoying the night sky and the warm glow of the campfire. Serah had a CD of her favorite songs playing on her portable stereo._

_ Snow guffawed. "What? The almighty Lightning Farron used to dance? Man, now I gotta see." A large grin spread across his face before Lightning socked him in the gut._

_ "No one's seeing anything." She crossed her arms and stood with her weight on her right leg._

_ Vanille giggled as she swayed with the rhythm of the beat almost effortlessly. "Aw, I'm sure you're a terrific dancer." Serah and Snow began dancing together beside her. "Have some fun."_

_ Fang came up beside Lightning and clapped her on the shoulder. "Yeah Light, take a load off. No need to be so stuffy and boring all the time." Looking around the rigid soldier, she saw Hope sitting on a log, watching the others. When he caught Fang's eye, he visibly shrunk. "You better get your little ass dancin' too Hope."_

_ Vanille ran over to him and grabbed his arm, forcing him off his seat. "No, I don't dance." He tried to pull away but Fang pulled him over too. "C'mon guys, is this really necessary?"_

_ "We just saved the world. Heroes have a right to party too", yelled Snow as he twirled Serah around his finger._

_ Sazh came over, Dahj resting on his shoulders. "Just don't overdo it _Hero._ I a'int gettin' your butt outta bed tomorrow."_

_ Serah stopped dancing with Snow and ran over to her sister. She gave her a pleading expression so adorable that it was almost sickening. "Claire, please? For me."_

_ Hope laughed and yelled over to her. "If I have to, there's no way you shouldn't have to too."_

_ "Tch." She looked back at Serah, whose sad puppy eyes were still in place. "You're over doing it Serah, but alright." She began walking over to the others, all playfully laughing and dancing like fools, and started moving her feet to the music when..._

* * *

She woke up. It all ended abruptly to the beeping of her alarm. After quickly shutting it off, she sat up, put her hand over her face, and thought about the dream. It had been more than just a dream. It was a memory of one of her stasis dreams. That night had been one of the many beautiful nights that she'd had in crystal stasis.

For the past few nights and days, she'd been haunted by her stasis. She cherished it almost as much as she abhorred it. Yes, she had loved every minute of her stasis while encased in her crystal prison. She had been surrounded by the warmth of her new family. Every day was a glorious mixture of irritation and love - just the way being in a family was. But now, those dreams only served as a reminder of how it should have been, had Cocoon not fallen. How peaceful and wondrous life should be for the 'heroes' who had risked their lives to save the world.

It was enough that she had been tricked by the fantasy in the first place. Now to be reminded again and again of the life she could not attain was heartbreaking. She couldn't allow herself to even enjoy the thought of that past life she'd lived in her dreams. Not when she couldn't see most of her new family now, with Hope gone and Serah, Snow, Fang, Vanille and Dahj all trapped in their own delusions.

Lightning groaned as she ripped the covers off of her body. _And then there's that. _With Hope gone, all progress with the crystals had been halted. The hopes of waking her sister and the rest of the world, shattered. And who knew when Hope would be brought back to her. It had already been a week since his abduction and she couldn't stand it. She longed for his company almost as much as she wished to make her stasis dreams a reality.

When she wasn't lost in her stasis world, she was trapped in her imagination – thinking about Hope's captivity and all of the horrifying things he could be going through while she did nothing to stop it. Just the thought of him alone and in pain made her livid.

"Maker, what am I doing?" She stood up, ready to go on with her day, when she felt something brush down her leg. She looked down to see Hope's bandana hit the floor. _I can't put him out of my mind for a second huh? _Sighing, she shook her head before reaching down and picking it up.

Last night had been especially hard for the soldier. Her first dream, before the blissful stasis one, had been a nightmare. She had woken up calling out for Hope, unrestrained tears falling down her face. After calming herself back down and finding the many flaws with her nightmare, making sure that none of it could possibly be true, she'd gone to sleep clutching onto the little cloth - finding it to be the only thing to bring her mind peace.

Just the thought of that made Lightning roll her eyes and throw the fabric back onto the bed. It was such an unbelievably girly and childish thing to do, but she couldn't deny that it had helped. After continuing her routine of readying herself for work, she stopped before walking out the door. Her eyes drifted to her room. _Dammit, I've gone soft. Too soft. _She didn't like it one bit, but she walked into her room, snatched up the bandana, stuffed it into her pouch, and left.

* * *

_Why are you so cruel? _It was one of the few questions Zalera had often asked the gods throughout her life. Why the Maker and all of the gods would let such horrible things happen? Why did good, innocent people have to die to get their attention? Zalera hated them. She hated the gods and she hoped that they knew it.

Many times in her life she'd questioned their existence. Of course, plenty of her fellow tribe had tried to show her proof and explain their reasoning in their beliefs of the almighty beings far beyond true comprehension. She'd half listen, not really caring whether they were right or wrong. She knew she believed in their existence, for how could you hate something that you didn't believe existed? She just didn't _want_ to believe in them. Believing in them, showed some semblance of faith – and she'd be damned before she'd show any of them anything akin to faith. They had taken everything from her time and time again. The cycle seemed to be on repeat for her with loneliness and pain. Those two things, she found, were the only things she could count on to be constant in her life. She would have a brief stint of happiness until the eventual crackdown of horrible misery. And this, she'd resigned to. She knew, as she'd known for a while, that the gods didn't care for her. So why should she care for them?

Then she began noticing that it wasn't just her. Many were forced to suffer through the endless continuance of unbearable grief and agony. So maybe, Buinivelze, Pulse, Lindzei and Etro all just didn't give a damn about any of them. Those respected and worshiped deities just sat atop their perches watching the little beings with utterly uncaring eyes.

It didn't matter anyhow. It didn't matter why they never helped or stopped any of the ruthless violence or what they did while it was all going on below them. All that mattered was that it happened. Asking why never did any good. _So why? Why do I still ask? I know it doesn't matter. None of them ever listen to a word I say. So why ask these questions when all I'll receive is blaring silence? Because there's nothing else for me__ to do._

While she battled with herself in her mind and continuously asked the gods questions that she knew better than to expect answers from, Zalera laid in a ball on the bare mattress in her cell. Hope's cries still rang in her ears even though they'd ended minutes ago. She clutched her hair in her hands as she tugged on it, uncaring of the small pain she received from the action. She continued wondering about the many questions that floated around in her brain. One being the most dominant. _How much lon__ger can I live like this? _The answer would remain unknown as she laid there lost in her mind, for she had nothing else left. It was obvious that the monsters who'd taken her were hellbent on keeping her and keeping her alive. Unlike... _Yeul..._

She was also very much on the young Guardian's mind. Her charge that she loved with her heart and soul was gone. She'd failed to protect her and because of this, Yeul was tortured to death, she would surely be tortured to death, and that poor kid will be tortured until he is turned into their puppet. Zalera cursed. She cursed the gods, she cursed the wretched villains holding her, and she cursed herself.

Faintly she heard her door open as a man stepped inside. She did not move except to tense her muscles and close her eyes. When his rough, vile hand brushed against her thigh, she kicked him in the throat. He stumbled back a few paces as she scrambled up. His eyes flared from what she could see in the dim light. She ran for the door, only to have him grab her around the throat and lift her off the ground with one hand. His other hand grasped her shoulder roughly, fingernails digging into her collarbone. Her own nails dug into his hand on her throat as she kicked the air. Unable to do much else, she swung her foot back, hitting him in his most sensitive parts. Promptly, he shoved her into a wall, pinning her with his body. Her head had met with the stone with a resounding crack, making her vision blurry and her struggle lessen.

The man groaned as he rubbed between his legs. "Damn girly. I swear one day, I'm going to teach you a lesson about how to properly greet a man." He grabbed her breast roughly, painfully.

"You pig", Zalera seethed.

The man stepped back and she fell to the floor, unable to fight much with her head fogged. He arrested her upper arm and practically dragged her back to the hell hole of a torture room. As they reached the stairs though, her vision cleared for the most part. She began struggling again as she gained her footing, only to receive a growl from the man and a nice scorch mark on her arm under his palm.

When they reached the room, she went to wrench her arm from his grasp but froze as her eyes met with the young man's body strapped to the table. He was still breathing so he wasn't dead, but he looked awful. He was unconscious, his breath ragged.

"Move it", the man grunted.

Zalera ceased her resistance as she stared at Hope. She'd hardly noticed when she had been laid onto the table and the restraints had been tied back on. All she did was examine the kid with her eyes. Sebastian hadn't healed all of his wounds, only the major ones so he wouldn't die, but all other injuries remained. Hope's body had been ravaged by blades and magic for hours. She'd heard it. Every cry and scream he made at each painful contact had reached her cell. But it didn't make the visual evidence any less horrifying.

As her eyes drifted along his body, she could almost feel each wound as if they were her own. She had received all of those marks and gashes at one point during her torture, so it wasn't hard for her mind to imagine those injuries as vivid as if they ran along her own body. But even though she'd endured all of the same treatment over grueling, unbearable weeks and undoubtedly months, the worst of it all was, she knew that his torture had been worse. He'd gone through more pain in a few days than her or Yeul had in weeks of captivity. They'd started on him much sooner than they had Yeul as well. _And it's all my fault._ Tears began to well up in her eyes. She squeezed them shut but she couldn't manage to stop crying. After about a minute she took a deep breath, swallowing her grief and regret. Looking around the room briefly, she realized that they had been left alone.

"Hope", Zalera whispered. "Hope, please wake up."

He stirred. His arms moved slowly as his head rolled in her direction. He winced at the movement. Any time Hope moved, the gashes in his skin would stretch, causing more blood to escape and the cuts to widen.

"Don't."

Hope looked at Zalera, his expression was pained and there was still a large amount of fear in his emerald eyes. He opened his mouth only to cough up a large amount of blood. It gushed out of his mouth so fast; she didn't know what to do. She struggled with her binds as it seemed never-ending. "Hey", she yelled. "Sebast-" She stopped mid-call, suddenly feeling very conflicted. She didn't want him to die. He didn't deserve this death or death at all really. And could she bear to have another person's blood on her hands? But she couldn't stop the bitter happiness that seeped into her being. This would put him out of his misery and at the same time, stop the wretched l'Cie's evil scheme.

Silently, she watched the young man choke on his own blood. Gurgling sounds came from his throat, making her cringe. His eyes bulged and his fists clenched as he began to lose his fight. _I'm so sorry. Just a little longer and you'll be free. _Just as she saw the light begin to dim in his eyes and the strain in his muscles die down, Sebastian ran into the room. Quickly the giant threw a few powerful cure spells over Hope. The choking fit died down as the blood crept back into its natural corridors. The wounds along his body sewed shut and the burns faded, leaving pale pink in their wake. His eyes fluttered closed at the relief and he seemed to fall into an exhaustion induced sleep.

Sebastian wiped his brow before shooting a scowl in Zalera's direction. "Just like with the girl huh? You were going to let him die just as you would have let Yeul?" He stomped toward the defenseless woman, ready to beat his fury into her.

"I'm not the stupid oaf who was careless enough to leave him in such a condition." A fire burned behind the man's eyes as he grabbed Zalera's wrist and snapped it. She screamed out in agony and he let her hand drop back down to the table limply. A piece of her bone shone through her skin making the man grin. Wanting to rid him of his satisfaction, she continued. "Don't you dare blame me for the close call."

"You little-" Sebastian went for her hand again, ready to snap it off of her body completely, but was halted by Castea.

"Stop." He spun around to face his master. "The girl is right after all." Castea sent a cure spell over to the writhing woman, healing the new injury.

Sebastian bowed as she approached him. "Lady Hidon, I'm sorry." Castea grabbed his chin, her nails digging deeply into it. "I didn't- "

"That's two times now Sebastian. The girl I let slide, but he is too important." She brought her hand back and slapped Sebastian across the face. "Hope is our key. I won't have you ruin everything we have built." Castea's eyes drifted over to Zalera who was still reeling from her wrist's previous pain. She gave her a threatening stare but the green-haired women only scowled back at her.

"Maybe you should do your own dirty work then", spat Zalera.

Castea smiled as she walked toward her with her creepy trademark grin. "Aren't we a feisty one today? You know that's not a bad suggestion… though my kind of torture is usually more mental than physical." Zalera's eyes bulged and she shook her head vigorously as Castea's hand came towards her. When the wicked woman's fingertips brushed over the young Guardian's forehead, Zalera threw her head back and clenched her teeth. Her muscles tensed but she didn't move. Her body laid still as her mind was flooded with images.

Dozens upon dozens of images played across Zalera's vision. It was as if her mind was on speed rampaging through her cruelest memories of Yeul and her torture. There was no real focus, it wasn't one memory at a time, but thousands of pieces of memories scattered and disorganized. If the pain of the memories wasn't enough to drive her insane, the sheer chaos would. Zalera couldn't fight back, she couldn't struggle or scream. She couldn't even manage a whimper. The mass of memories clouded out most of her brain's functions. All that came out of her will to fight were low guttural sounds lost in her throat. Then, suddenly it all stopped as Castea lifted her fingers away. It was a few moments before the room came back into focus, but her mind was still lost in the scattered images it remembered. Faintly, she saw Castea's evil grin hanging over her face before she blacked out entirely.

Castea shrugged. "Well it was a test. I guess it was a bit too much for her to handle." She turned back to Sebastian. "I'll just have to practice more."

Sebastian's eyes widened and he took a half step back. "Wha-what did you do to her?" He was a bit scared by her implication of practicing, yet very intrigued by the method of torture.

The woman simply smirked while she walked back towards the steps. "I showed her the things she'd rather not remember. I'll have to admit it was a bit jumbled, but I think she got the message all the same." Castea waved toward her henchman to follow. "Come Sebastian. It should be awhile before they awaken."

* * *

"Well I don't really give a shit about how Hope ran things. He's not here if you couldn't tell."

Lightning approached Hope's office quietly and slowly as she heard a heated argument going on between two people inside. She recognized the voices to belong to Cass and Alyssa.

"Ugh, you're infuriating. I can't stand you", Alyssa shrieked. "You have no business being in this position."

"Just stay away from my stuff. You're Hope's assistant. Can't you just take some time off until he gets back?"

"As much as I despise it, I'm the Director's assistant regardless of who they are."

Lightning heard a flutter of papers as she reached the door. She quirked a brow before sighing. The arguments weren't a new occurrence. It seemed Alyssa and Cass couldn't get along at all. They butted heads about everything. Of course with Cass being a self-serving, cocky, pervert and Alyssa being an annoying, busybody that tries to act coy all the time, she couldn't figure out who could get along with either of them. How Hope managed to stay sane being around these people, she truly couldn't fathom. Rolling her eyes, she opened the door and stepped in.

The two of the room's occupants looked over to the new arrival with a bit of relief in their eyes. Cass was standing at his desk with a file in his hands that Alyssa was eying hungrily, so Lightning assumed that, that had been the origin of the fight. A few dozen papers lay scattered around the desk and floor, no doubt having been thrown in frustration.

Alyssa went to nab the file but Cass moved it just out of reach as he went to speak. "Lightning, can you get this madwoman out of here? I can't work with-"

"I am not a madwoman. Just give me the file", Alyssa pleaded. "I need to do my job. Surely you understand Light?" She reached over Cass as he continued to hold the file further away.

Cass shot the soldier a look of desperation. "Get this bitch off of me. You're my bodyguard. Get her off me." As Alyssa inched closer to the file, just barely grazing it with her fingertips, she lost her balance, tumbling down and knocking Cass down with her. They landed roughly, Alyssa's jaw colliding with the new Director's stomach.

Lightning bit back a laugh at the debacle. "First of all, don't call me Light. Second of all, she is your assistant and she has a job to do same as you." She shut the door and crossed her arms.

Alyssa giggled as she caught sight of the file, forgotten and left right in front of her face. She snatched it up as she rose from the spot, sticking out her tongue at a grumbling Cass. He rubbed his stomach as there would undoubtedly be a bruise. Alyssa turned to Lightning. "But _Director Estheim..." _started Alyssa, glaring at Cass, "...calls you Light?" The blonde flashed Lightning an innocent smile.

Lightning gave her a warning look. Alyssa calling her Light would make them friends. Close friends to be precise. And they most certainly weren't. It was a stretch in Lightning's mind to call them acquaintances.

Cass chuckled as he slowly got to his feet. "I don't think that pet name is meant to be used by anyone but Hope. If you catch-" Cass moved just in time for the book, aimed at his face, to hit him in the shoulder instead. "Damn, what kind of bodyguard are you? I can see now how Hope managed to get tak-" This time he ducked, the next book flying over his head.

Lightning glared at the smart ass and clenched her fists. "Remember the agreement. Your lips stay zipped Cass."

Alyssa shot Cass a triumphant smile as she waved the prize of their fight in the air. She went to leave but stopped shortly, ready to close the door behind her. "Please do keep it up Director Leonald. Just a few more minutes of comments like those, and you'll be in the hospital in no time." She left with a satisfied smirk.

Cass fell into his chair. "Maker, how does Hope put up with that shrill voice and constant perky attitude? Do you know what was in that file? I-" Lightning shot him a look, reminding him of his promise. "Alright, alright fine. Who wants to talk to the hot, bitchy, soldier girl anyway?" He ducked as another hefty book flew in his direction.

* * *

Zalera hissed as she regained consciousness. Her head was pounding and she couldn't remember why. Since she was once again tied down to a table, she didn't really need to guess. She tugged a bit on her restraints but stopped, knowing full well that she wasn't going anywhere. She turned her head to her roommate, noticing a huff of breath come from his direction. He was awake, staring at the ceiling. She opened her mouth only to quickly snap it shut. As she watched the boy, a sense of guilt found its way into her body. For a minute, she was confused. That is until bits and pieces of what had occurred before her blackout came back to her. _I was going__ to let you die. _Shutting her eyes, she swallowed thickly. She most definitely didn't want to speak to the kid now. Just the thought of him looking at her, the pain and betrayal that she'd see in his eyes, was unbearable.

Hope stared at the ceiling, eyes glazed over, thoughts lost in his body's previous pain. His body had been completely healed. Every scratch was gone. But that didn't stop his mind from remembering every single pain he'd endured. No matter where he would try to force his mind to, no matter what memories he tried to shove himself in or how vividly he thought about them, he couldn't relieve himself of the phantom pains.

He jumped as he heard a sniffle on his left. Praying that it wasn't Sebastian, he looked over. "You're awake", said Hope in a raspy voice.

Zalera's breath caught in her throat as their eyes locked. Her fear began to subside as confusion slowly replaced it. As her green irises searched his, she relaxed slightly. There was no sign of anger or betrayal, only pain and concern. She swallowed, unsure of how to speak to him.

At her lack of response, he continued. "When did they bring you in here?"

Understanding washed over Zalera. "You... I'm not sure. A while ago, I think. You were awake though. When... I was..."

"I don't remember." That was all he said before looking back up at the ceiling. Secretly, he was kind of glad about a lapse of memory. Maybe it would occur more often and he would not have to remember so much of this horrible captivity. Of course, even he knew that he was being far too optimistic.

Zalera remained silent, very grateful for the loss of that memory. She hated herself for making that decision – to allow him to die – but she didn't regret it. As much as she would rather smash her own skull in than let him – an innocent, sweet kid – die, she knew she wouldn't hesitate to let death carry him away from this hell next time. It was the best choice for him and the rest of the world.

Hope was at a complete loss for what to do. He knew his torture was far from over, but how was he supposed to cope? What was he supposed to do while he waited for the inevitable conclusion to the whole ordeal? He felt so guilty, angry, sad, terrified, lost, and utterly defeated as he laid there unable to do a damn thing. There was nothing he could do with all of those emotions except internalize them. His mind only seemed to want to focus on the pain and Sebastian and Castea and all of the devastating plans they had for him. When he could, he'd try to remember something good, something happy. It would always be of his family and friends. Their love and warmth would save him for a little while, until the guilt and regret would fill him accompanied by the thoughts of knowing that the whole situation was his fault. Even his thoughts of Lightning couldn't soothe his agony. In his mind, any memory or thought of her inevitably became tormenting. _I should have listened to her. Now I can't bring back her sister for her. I can't protect her like I promised. What if Sebastian really... And al__l because of me. I'll never be able to see her again. I'll never be able to tell her... _Hope's fists tightened as he mindlessly fought his restraints and a few tears fell down his cheeks.

Zalera watched the young man unravel as he seemed to be wrapped in his own anguish. She bit her lip for she knew exactly how he felt. All too well.

The tears ran fiercely down his face but he held in every sob that threatened to break from his throat. As minutes passed that felt like hours, his crying died down but didn't stop. The young Director's expression had changed dramatically from pained and scared to blank and withdrawn. "Zalera? What happens if my brand never comes back?"

The emerald-haired woman gave Hope a sympathetic smile, attempting to mollify the anxiety no doubt rising within him. "I-"

"I mean they said it had never been done before-maybe... m-maybe th-thats because it can't be done."

His pitch raised a bit indicating the thought had been like an epiphany to the boy. He sounded like a mixture of excited and frightened. Excited that they wouldn't be able to use him for their dark purposes, yet frightened by the fact that if that were true, his torture could be never-ending. "I'm not sure Hope. They will do everything in their power to reawaken your brand."

"And I'll do everything in my power to stop them. I won't allow them to kill everyone off and destroy the planet. I most certainly will not be their tool in doing it." His voice was shaky but sure.

Zalera admired his conviction. It was the exact same way she'd felt about her duty to Yeul, only he was fighting to save the whole world not a young girl. He was every bit the hero Yeul had made him out to be. "I'm sorry", she said breathily.

Hope shot her an incredulous look. "For what?"

"I failed. My failure is what led them to not only..." She bit down harshly on the side of her cheek. "... not only killing Yeul but to your capture as well. If I hadn't been so weak she'd still be alive and you wouldn't have to face this."

Hope shook his head fervently. "No they would have gotten to her anyway. Zalera-"

"No", she growled. "Don't you dare try to tell me that this isn't my fault. You weren't there and you have no idea what happened. It's my fault. It is." Her body shook with anger.

He knew it wasn't her fault. There was no way that she could have taken on all of the l'Cie and saved Yeul in any scenario. They had wanted her and they were going to get her. However, Hope knew she wouldn't allow him to reassure her about that. With him though, he could. "Fine. But they would have come for me even if they couldn't have gotten to Yeul. My abduction would have occurred regardless." A hint of Zalera's rage toward herself seemed to fade. "And no one but me is responsible for getting caught. I-I didn't listen and should have been more careful. We may have had a shot at defeating them and avoiding... this if I hadn't been so reckless. Lightning told me-"

"Lightning is your Guardian?" Zalera's eyebrow rose, remembering his and Sebastian's discussion before.

Hope bit his lip. That title used on Lightning was still new for him but it did seem extremely fitting. She protected him countless times and saved him on numerous occasions. "Yeah, I guess."

The woman seemed to relax a bit, her mind slipping away from its worries and regrets to a slightly better conversation. "Yeul used to have visions of the two of you." Hope appeared stunned by this. "Both your future and your past. She spoke of a very brave young man who overcame his grief and fear to embrace his destiny of fighting his fate. How he would become a savior to mankind and continue saving it until he would no longer be. Alongside you she said there was a woman. A strong, independent, yet partially broken young woman, who fought to protect you at any cost." At this Zalera turned her head to face her companion. "Your destinies are locked tightly together Hope." His eyes widened. "Some of Yeul's visions brought her great sorrow. She was a very compassionate person you know? She cared deeply for every creature on this planet." She cleared her throat. "And even though you were a complete stranger, she was deeply saddened by what you had to go through, but..." A silent tear dropped down her cheek. "...she was glad that you had a protector to watch out for you like she had me." Zalera gasped as she tried to fight off her despair.

Hope just took everything in and waited to speak until she indicated that she was fine. "Did she..." He hesitated. "...see the outcome of all of this." His eyes danced around the room indicating what he meant by this.

Attempting to regain her emotional stability, she replied. "She saw many possibilities. Two though were most prominent. In one... you destroy everything and everyone using the power of the crystal, and obliterate everything to nothing, summoning the Maker back to this world." Hope's eyes bulged as his jaw slackened. "In the other..." Zalera looked to him with sorrowful eyes. "You are able to overpower the crystal and save everyone but... it... kills you in the process."

Hope's eyes snapped up to the ceiling as he fought to deal with her words. _There's no good ending for me._

"But Hope." His attention snapped back to her. "Like I said, those were only two possibilities. Yeul always said there were possible outcomes even she couldn't predict." A soothing smile graced her face as she looked at him.

He nodded toward her. "Thank you." His mind was still reeling with the thoughts of those very grim, very possible fates. Was he really born just to kill everyone in an attempt to bring back a god that had abandoned its creations long ago? _No, I won't allow it. _"I'm very sorry Zalera... for your loss. Yeul seemed like a wonderful person and I wish I could have met her."

Her face contorted into a deeply pained expression. "If we just hadn't been taken to this damned Ark I-" She clenched her fists and her toes.

"We're in an Ark", asked Hope.

Breathing deeply she answered. "Yes. We're in the Eighth Ark."

Hope gave her a quizzical look. "The Eighth Ark? We've never-"

"That's because it's hidden. All of it is underground except for the entrance which is nicely tucked away in a mountainside. You can't find it unless you're looking for it." She watched his face fall even more.

That meant that those looking for him, most likely didn't have a chance in Hell of finding him. He was going to have to fight this battle himself.

* * *

Barsilisk slammed his fist down on the desk before him. "Damn it Castea. It's been over two months now. This is going nowhere. I thought you said Sebastian could get this done."

Castea rolled her eyes and grinned at the frustrated man. "What did you expect? This is an extremely difficult task and the boy is fighting tooth and nail against it."

Barsilisk grabbed her upper arm. "This isn't a game Castea." She dug her nails into his hand, trying to get his hold off. "I'm tired of all of this." He let go as he heard a loud cry from the basement.

Castea gave Barsilisk a disgusted glance. "I know. I'm not pleased with the time this is taking either but we must remain patient."

"I am not a patient man", he yelled while staring fiercely into the woman's eyes.

"Oh believe me, I know." Another pained cry echoed throughout the Ark, causing a smile to creep back onto her face. "His cries are so heavenly." She turned to Barsilisk who only scrunched up his eyebrows at her sentence. She laughed. "Alright my love, I'll try my hand at him. Will that please you?"

He grinned. "We should receive some results at that." Wrapping his arms around her waist, he kissed her lips and forehead before leaving the room.

Castea followed behind but peeled off in a separate direction when she reached the hall. Hope's yells and screams stopped during her trek towards him and she halted, listening to Hope and Sebastian speak as she stood at the top of the stairs.

"Everything's alright. Everything's going to be fine. You'll be out of here in no time", Hope muttered to himself. He knew they were all just empty words and reassurances but what else did he have?

Sebastian snickered. "You sure about that kid?"

The young man gave him a look of exasperation. "Isn't it enough that you have to break my body? Do you really have to break my spirit too?"

"It's nothing personal kid. Just my job... that I may get a bit of enjoyment out of." The burly man gave him one last glance before he punched Hope in the head, causing the kid to black out. Sebastian sent a few last cure spells into him as he walked to the stairs and left. As he reached the top, he came across Castea. "Lady Hidon." He bowed. "The boy is resting now. The girl is in her cell."

"Good." She put a hand on his shoulder. "I will be spending some time with him. Leave us alone until I come for you. Are we clear?"

"Of course."

She descended down the stairs into the room where Hope laid unconscious on the table. She hadn't spoken with him in those whole two months that had passed. She hadn't even seen him. She walked up to him, snickering at his disheveled state, and brushed her hand against his cheek. She then brought it back and slapped him across the face.

Hope jolted awake at the feeling. He let out a light whimper at the sting of his cheek and his eyes widened at the sight of Castea. He felt terrified of the woman who he'd thankfully hadn't seen in what appeared to be months. Time was still extremely hard to keep track of. Yet he felt a bit relieved for she would only wish to speak with him. As opposed to Sebastian.

Castea sneered at the young man's expression. There was a small amount of fear in it but his gaze was dull, almost empty. She recognized that look. It was the same look the little seeress had given them just before she gave in to their questions. "Giving up already?"

His eyes fluttered closed as he sighed. "I won't... ever... give up", declared Hope breathily.

The wicked woman practically beamed. "Good, because I was about to think that this was going to be no fun." Hope's expression turned puzzled. "You know I've been holding off speaking to you for a while." She jumped up onto a stone table to his right, crossed her legs and leaned back on her hands. "It was so hard too. I've missed your charm Hope. And your cute little expressions."

Hope tensed as his jaw tightened. He knew she was only there to toy with him further. She really loved to hear herself speak.

"You know we're still watching all of your little Academia friends? They were scrambling to find you at first. Then when they couldn't, they just... stopped." She gave him a sardonic look. "I was so sad and heartbroken for you that they would just stop looking for their leader..." She jumped back off the table and walked slowly over to Hope. "...their friend... their _charge."_

His eyes widened. "Lightning?" Castea smirked as she wove her hands through his hair. Hope was disgusted by her touch but was too focused on their new topic of conversation to pull away.

"Surely you hadn't actually believed Sebastian? Your lovely and fierce Lightning is far too much for him. She is alive and currently guarding your replacement." She stared at his face, watching every little twitch and movement. The woman thoroughly enjoyed how expressive and readable he was.

_They've already... Well it has probably been... months. But... Lightning protecting Cass? Why... I thought... I thought for sure she'd still be looking for me. _Hope knew that Castea could be lying. In fact, there was a good chance that she was. But even if it was the truth, he had to believe that there was a good reason for her stopping. _Maybe they think I'm dead? Or Castea's done something to force them to stop? __Or they could just be unable to... It has been a long time... Would I really want them to waste all of their time, energy and resources just to look for me? No. _Even as he thought that, he couldn't help but feel abandonment hit his heart.

Castea's eyebrows were raised, her features softened as she continued to give him a mockingly sympathetic expression. "That young Cass is quite a... charmer", she cocked her head to the left, "isn't he? I know Lightning sure had a hard time getting used to him but, they are actually getting quite close. I have to say you may have some competition. The little slut is-"

"Save your breath." Castea looked into his steeled expression. "If you're trying to make me hate my friends or lose faith in them... don't. It's a waste of time." He attempted to pull away from her hands which had been massaging his scalp, but she only tugged on his hair and kept his head in place.

She laughed at his response. "I'm only telling you the truth. Everyone's given up on you and your slutty-"

Hope jerked beneath her. "Light isn't a slut and no one's given up on me. If they've stopped looking... then good. At least their-their probably doing much more important things for Academia but just because they stopped, that doesn't mean they've given up on me", he yelled, fury in his eyes.

Castea shook her head. "Fine, I was just trying to help you deal with the reality of things." She pulled harder on Hope's hair between her fingers. "But don't get the idea that you can snap at me."

"Or what? You're going to send Sebastian in here? Go ahead." The young man tried to pull away again. He was successful, but left a large clump of his hair firmly in Castea's grasp.

She simply smirked as she walked over to the chair sitting against the wall in front of him. "So you think I'm just a bitch with all bark and no bite huh?" Beginning to unlace her boots, she looked at him, her face filled with sadistic happiness. "Well you would be wrong, love." She stood and pulled her cloak off, leaving her only in her undergarments.

Hope looked away, worried and confused.

"Wouldn't want to get blood all over my robe now would we?" She smirked at him. "You can look my pet. This isn't going to be pleasant so you should take all the pleasure you can, while you can." She walked over to him and ran her hand slowly up Hope's chest until it rested on his cheek.

He jerked away from her. "What makes you think your body could pleasure me", asked Hope through clenched teeth.

Her eyes filled with a stunned rage and her jaw fell before she snapped it shut. In response, she dug her nails deep into his collarbone and dragged them down his chest, ripping them through his skin.

Hope's eyes scrunched up and his muscles tensed. A small cry escaped his throat. Castea's nails were a lot longer and sharper than he'd cared to think about. As she pulled out each nail one at a time, he bit his lip, eventually cutting into it with his teeth.

Castea's smile grew wider. "You think these past couple months have been tough?" She walked over to the chair, flicking Hope's blood off her fingertips as she went, and picked up a pair of pliers before flashing them at him. "You haven't even begun to feel pain."

Struggling against his restraints, he felt the cuffs dig themselves deeper into his skin, as if they were tightening on him on their own. He looked to Castea who was tightening his binds with her powers.

"Let's start with that sharp tongue of yours. Shall we?"

* * *

Lightning sat on Cass's couch, pinching the bridge of her nose and tapping her foot. It was twelve at night and as the punk's personal guard, she was always within earshot. So she even had to sleep in his apartment while three other guards had night shift and guarded outside. The soldier of course couldn't sleep. _Two months. It's been ov__er two months. It's been sixty-eight days. I can't keep going like this. He's probably.. _Her thoughts had been silently choking her all day since she'd come to the realization.

She heard Cass's bedroom door creak open and feet shuffle out. Groaning inwardly, she turned toward him. Really, Cass hadn't been that bad lately. He'd held up to their agreement pretty well and had only received a bruise on his stomach and jaw, and a broken nose from Lightning. Even with that, it had been a good couple of weeks since she felt the need to hurt him.

Cass walked in front of her. "Do you ever sleep?"

She shot him a glare. _Conversation is unwelcome remember? I'd be glad to give you a reminder._

He rolled his eyes and sat beside her. "Look, I've wanted to talk about a few things with you for a while now and... I know I can be a real ass hole sometimes but-"

"Sometimes", asked Lightning with a smirk.

"Alright a lot but..." He sighed as he rubbed his messy hair. "...it seems that I might be... we might be in these positions for a while now and I think we should try and be civil." He gave her a hopeful smile.

This seemed to be a whole different side of Cass which made Lightning slightly uneasy. Though he did have a point, she wasn't sure about the prospect of becoming... friends with the kid. He was obnoxious and rude. She was about to refuse when she remembered her earlier thoughts. How much longer were they going to continue working like this? In her mind, Hope was never going to be gone that long. Everyday she'd pray for him to be back the next. Two months had dragged by agonizingly. It took every bit of her willpower and strength to hold herself back from looking for him. Her pain and grief about Hope began ramming into her cement wall she'd built around her emotions. "Okay." It might make things a little easier and... she may even find a way to make the kid useful.

"Okay?" He gave her an incredulous look. Honestly he hadn't expected that answer. He'd expected a not so subtle threat from her gunblade or a good punch to the jaw. This was very surprising. "Okay", he said nodding.

Lightning crossed her arms. "I want to know some things though." Cass nodded as he slouched into the couch. "Could you... tell me some things... about..." Her face was stoic but her gaze averted from his.

"Hope?" He glanced over with a smug smile. Which he quickly wiped off his face when she tensed. _Civility is going to suck. It goes against my code about not giving a damn about anything but... this is for Hope. I can't deny caring ab__out him and she means so much to him... I have to try. _He sighed inwardly. "Anything specific?"

She shook her head.

"Well... we met when I was six. He was nine and we lived in the same neighborhood. Our dads were close but that didn't really matter because I lived with my mom." He snorted. "My mom was the mistake my father made while still married to my sister's-half sister's mom, leading to my disgraceful existence. He stayed with his wife and his daughter. They knew about us they just... chose to ignore us. Anyway, Hope and I were neighborhood friends even though we were so far apart in age. We were also close in school. Remember when I told you we had a lot in common? We were both exceptionally smart, awkwardly shy, and had girlish looks. We weren't winning any popularity contests. In fact, we were bullied quite a lot."

Lightning felt her heart tighten at Cass's recollection.

He smiled, sifting through his memory. "Hope would ward off some of my tormentors when he could. Being older, he could take on most of my bullies... I couldn't help with any of his though."

Lightning frowned. "Why didn't your parents do anything?"

Cass scoffed. "My mom worked all the time, trying to support us. She was too busy and I didn't want to bother her with it. Hope's mom was sympathetic but was drowned out by Bartholomew. He always told Hope to be tough. If he stayed strong and defended himself, they would leave him alone. Which of course was a bunch of bull shit. I think he just never wanted to give Hope the time."

Lightning bit down on the side of her cheek. She understood Hope's previous problems with his father a lot more now. A thought popped into her head as she glanced at Cass. "Your father abuses you, doesn't he?"

Cass half grinned. "It was that obvious huh?" He shrugged at her concerned expression. "It's not too often but then again I don't see the guy much. I try to avoid him as much as I can of course."

"Did Hope's father..." Her nails dug into the sides of her arms. Bartholomew was stern but she never got an abusive vibe from him.

"If he did, Hope never told me. Although, I don't think the man was ever home enough to. He was always working. And Nora may have been pretty submissive but I don't think she would have ever allowed that." He began pulling on some of the loose threads of his pajama pants.

Lightning relaxed a little, grateful about that at least. Cass's silence indicated he was waiting on a question to continue. "What was Hope like before the whole... l'Cie thing?"

Cass smirked and chuckled. "Pretty much the same happy, gentle guy you know now, only much shyer and much more of a loner. He was always a mama's boy... Hell I was too. He had a few good friends besides me through the years but he wasn't Mr. Charismatic like he is now. Not even close." Shaking his head slightly, he stood. "He never had the need to save and change the world though. I mean yeah, he loved helping people but he was always the 'fly under the radar' type. It wasn't until after the fall and he woke up, when I noticed that he had grown into that. I suppose having already saved the world once; he'd wanted to continue saving it."

"And after he woke up?" Lightning sat back into the couch as she continued giving Cass her full attention. "While we were all in stasis?"

"He was a bit depressed. You know, about you all for a while. But he focused on helping people adjust and helping build houses and get things running. He delved deep into his studies when he joined the Academy. I swear he was a total book warm."

Lightning smiled as she imagined a younger Hope lost in a pile of books. It was a melancholy smile, feeling saddened and guilty for not being there and missing out on his life.

"He still plays the violin though which-"

"Hope plays the violin?"

Cass chewed on his thumb a bit. "Yeah, he's really good actually. His mom taught him when he was... well from... if I remember right... seven until, well the purge..."

She nodded, unsure of how she felt at not knowing that fact. She knew there were many things she still didn't know about him and many of her l'Cie gang. She just found it strange that she was so close to him and still didn't know much about him. Even the simple fact that he could play an instrument. She yawned and knew that they should get to bed if they planned on being up for work. Of course she was always working. "Thank you Cass. Now get to bed. You have a job you need rest for."

Cass groaned as he stomped off like a child to his room. He stopped when he got there. "Thank you Lightning. For giving... this a chance. I know you don't like me much but..."

"I don't like anyone much."

He chuckled. "I just wanna do right by Hope and... I know that he... cares deeply for you. I feel I owe it to him to make an effort with you."

Lightning furrowed her brow. He was completely right and she couldn't believe she hadn't thought of it sooner. Hope deserved to have his friends get along in his absence, even if they couldn't stand each other. Cass retreated back into his room and Lightning lay down on the couch, recounting everything he had told her. She took Hope's bandana out of her pouch and traced the pattern with her index finger. _When Hope gets back, and he will get back, we're going to have a long talk about everything. Even if it kills me. I owe him that._

* * *

_ Make it stop. Make it stop. _Please_, make it stop. _Zalera sat curled up in the corner of her cell, her face buried in her hands. Hope had been yelling and screaming full force for hours. Something seemed off, different. His cries seemed far more pained, far louder and far more distressing. Whatever Sebastian was doing to him, it had to be excruciatingly painful. _I can'__t do anything to stop this. I can't do- _Zalera realized that there was one thing she could try. Grudgingly, she brought her hands up in front of her face, folded in her middle and ring fingers, crossed her index fingers, crossed her pinkies, bowed her head, closed her eyes, and prayed.

_I know I have no reason to ask anything of you. I've always hated and despised all of you. To tell you the truth, I probably always will. But this isn't about me. This is about Hope. He doesn't deserve this. Any of this. Pl__ease, you let Yeul suffer. _Tears began to well up in her eyes. _You wretched beings let her be tortured over and over again. She was used for their purposes and you never helped. You wouldn't even allow her the peace of death. Death only came for her becaus__e they were done with her and they wanted her to die. The least you can do is help this kid out. Just let him rest. You can redeem __yourselves. Show me that there is a reason to believe in you and to pray to you. Please, just let him die._

Zalera dropped her hands and opened her eyes, which were now full of tears. She waited. She waited and waited but his suffering never ended. She let out a shaky breath, cursing herself for thinking that there was a chance it could work.

Her door creaked open, but she was too withdrawn to care, or to try and escape. She looked up to see which goon was there to drag her back to that room. Her eyes widened at the sight of Sebastian in front of her.

He grinned at her. "Just checking on our Guardian. You haven't been eating."

"If you're here then who-"

"Lady Hidon is having some special time with the boy." He lent down and dropped a tray of food in front of her. "You will eat this by the time I come to retrieve you. Got it?"

Zalera was shocked. She never knew Castea tortured people. The only harm she'd ever inflicted upon her and Yeul were slaps and that mind thing she'd pulled on her once before. Sebastian grabbed her chin when she didn't respond. "I'm not hungry."

"I don't care. You will eat this, or I will force it down your throat." With that, he let her go and left.

* * *

He couldn't fight the thoughts off any longer. He couldn't fight off the desire, the need to die. The pain was too much for his body and his mind to handle. He wanted to die. He had to die. He knew he was being a worthless coward wanting the easy way out. But he just couldn't deny it anymore. He was utterly useless and unforgivably weak. As his eyes rolled back in his head, his body lost in agony and anguish, Hope begged for death. He prayed to Buinevelze, to Pulse, to Lindzei, to Etro, to everything and anything, to just let him die. To give him the pleasure of death. No matter how painful his death was to be, he would welcome it. For he couldn't bear to face the alternative. To continue living in this constant state of suffering. This was no life.

Hope cried out and squirmed as his nail was ripped from his middle finger, then his ring finger, then his thumb. Castea stopped as she went for his pinky, she then leaned over his face. "Look at me Hope. Hope." He wasn't listening; he was far off in his head. She wrapped her right hand around his throat and dug her nails into his flesh. "Hope." He winced as he looked into her gray stare. As their eyes searched each other's, Castea took a dagger in her left hand and began slowly pushing it into his side. "You know what I'm going to have to do soon Hope?" His eyes tore from hers as he looked to the ceiling before squeezing them shut at the pain in his side. Her grip tightened around his neck but her dagger's decent did not stop, only slowed, prolonging his agony. "If this doesn't start working sometime soon, I'm going to have to get your little friend in here." Hope's eyes shot open and looked into Castea's. "Let me be specific. We all know how fond of your little Guardian Sebastian is. I think he'd have a lovely time with her." He stopped breathing, any pain in his body becoming an afterthought. "Think about it Hope. Him stabbing her... burning her... shocking her... bringing her close to death... time... after time... after time." Her sick smile appeared as her eyes flared with sadistic satisfaction.

"No", he whispered.

"Think about it."

"No", he said.

"Yes."

"No", he growled.

"Yes."

"No", he yelled.

"Yes." As she spoke, she shoved the last of the dagger into his side until it was fully sheathed inside him.

His eyes squeezed shut. "No", he cried. Suddenly, a large burst of energy shot from Hope, sending Castea flying to the other side of the room. His left wrist began to burn. It was a searing pain and he recognized it. _No. No. No. _"No. No. No. You can't. Stop." He cried out as the pain became too intense.

Castea stood, watching him writhe. Her grin grew at the glow of his wrist. "Yes." _It's finally time. We've finally done it._

Hope watched in horror as his brand began to appear on his arm. _Please don't do this. _"Please."


	11. Empowered

**A/N: Wow, now this is a long chapter. I didn't intend on its length, it just kinda happened. Anyway, it took me forever but now it's done. I shall go pass out now. **

**Reviewers - Special thanks to you all. You guys are super awesome. Yes, this story can be very dark at times but it doesn't remain that way through the whole story. I'm very glad the detail and length are appreciated. Also, Cass is kind of a bratty character altogether but he grows on ya. Of course no one can replace Hope as our Director ;). As for if Hope can go back to Light... well you'll see.**

**Thanks again and enjoy the new chapter. I'm almost done with High school and after all of the grad parties and graduation itself is over, I'll have much more time to devote to this fic. I'm so excited. You have no idea. Review please :)**

* * *

_It was a warm day in Palumpolum. A thirteen year old Hope stood outside of Crescent Elementary school awaiting his best friend. As he sat on a bench outside, he pulled out a book from his bag and read. It was a good forty minute wait between the time the junior high and the elmementary School got out, but Hope was used to it. It had been that way for the whole year. Since he had graduated from Crescent and began his wonderful life in junior high, he would get out of school, walk to Crescent and wait for Cass. They would walk home together from there. Even though his parents had disapproved, saying he should spend more time with kids at his school, ones his own age, Cass was his best friend. He couldn't just move on and leave him behind. And it's not like he'd really made any new friends. He may have graduated into a new school but the same class of kids he'd grown up with hadn't changed. None of them liked him anymore now than they had a year ago._

_ Hearing movement from the front of the school, Hope looked up. A chipper looking Cass stumbled out of the front doors of the building. He stood in front of his silver haired friend and grinned. "So have you asked her out yet?"_

_ Hope blushed and stood. Putting his book back in his backpack, he shoved his younger friend and began walking in the direction of their neighborhood. "Why are you out early?"_

_ Cass rolled his eyes at Hope's avoidance of the question. "I have my ways. You of all people know that."_

_ Hope smirked. _You crafty devil you. What did you do this time?

_"Anyway. C'mon did you?" He gave his stubborn friend a pleading look._

_ Hope just sighed in return. "Cass, I invented that look. And you know full well that I didn't." He bashfully looked away as he said his last sentence._

_ "Why not? I told you she likes you. I'm her little brother. Getting into her things and finding out every detail about her is my job. I know she likes you", whined Cass. He stopped, forcing Hope to stop and turn toward his irritating friend. "So if it's because you think my intel is-"_

_ "I believe you." Hope turned away and continued in his previous direction._

_ Cass scampered after him while hefting his backpack higher on his shoulders. "Well then why not? I know you like her." He raised an eyebrow, giving his friend a cocky knowing look as he jabbed his elbow into Hope's side._

_ "That's not that hard to figure out. Everyone likes Kori." His shoulders slumped a bit at his words. Cass opened his mouth only to have Hope clasp a hand over it. "Just forget it Cass. Even if she's interested, she could never go out with someone like me. It would just ruin her reputation. Besides, why do you want us together so badly?"_

_ "I-I know that... she likes you and... you like her so... plus you're not like the mean guys she dates. And you're my best friend... I know you... and I can trust you with Kori. I just-"_

_ Hope began kicking a rock. "Well it's not gonna happen, all right? Can we just drop it?" He gave Cass an exasperated look, begging for him to stop pestering him about his sister. It's not like Hope hadn't thought about asking Kori out. He just knew that she'd reject him. Her pride and reputation coming before her feelings every time. Besides, Hope had never asked a girl out in his life. He was terrified of the thought. He most definitely wouldn't start with one of the most popular girls in school._

_ "Fine", Cass sighed. He then grumbled something inaudible as he pouted. They began walking down an alley on their usual route home. Cass started to say something when they were halfway through the long narrow passage, but he was cut off by a loud whistle._

_ "Hey Estheim! You and your little girlfriend out for a stroll?"_

_ About eight feet in front of them were four boys that Hope recognized immediately. Cass only knew one of the four. Three of the boys were in Hope's class and had taken a liking to tormenting him in their spare time for the past two years. Dex, the pudgy ring leader of the group, just had it out for him. The other two were his lackeys that obeyed his every command. The fourth one, Dex's younger brother Karter, had begun torturing Cass, with some prodding and training from his elder sibling no doubt. _

_ From the look in Dex's eyes, Hope knew what was coming. "Cass, run."_

_ "What?" As the bullies slowly approached them, Cass gave __Hope a worried glance before __running down the side alley they had thankfully been stopped at. He didn't want to leave Hope behind, but he had been told to go, and he wouldn't be of any help. Knowing he wouldn't be able to get too far if they chose to come __after him, he slid under a dumpster, his small, skinny body being much help. He made it under just in time to see the four surround Hope._

_ "Go after the little punk", ordered Dex._

_ Hope took a step toward the gang's leader, trying to muster as much courage as he could to glare at him. "No, it's me you want Dex." Hope was terrified and his left leg was unwillingly shaking, ignoring his orders to stop, but he had to do this. He had to protect his best friend. "You really wanna pick on a kid half your size and three years younger than you?" His voice trembled a bit as Dex drew closer. Hope's head came to Dex's chin, making him even more intimidated. "I mean really... p-picking on a fourth grader? W-what kind of message does that send? That you can only beat up-"Hope was cut off by a punch to the cheek by Dex. The blow almost threw Hope to the ground, but he miraculously found his footing._

_ "So you wanna take the twerp's punishment too huh? Is that what you're saying?" The plump kid poked Hope in the chest harshly._

_ Hope bit his lip as he fought against his instincts to book it and run. "Why can't you just leave us alo-" Another punch, but this time Hope fell and landed into the arms of Dex's flunkies who pushed him back up._

_ "I asked you a question?"_

_ "Yeah, he asked you a question", repeated Karter as he crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Hope._

_ All he could do was resign himself to a pummeling. If he didn't, they'd surely go after Cass. "Yes", mumbled Hope._

_ Dex's eyebrow raised as an evil s__mirk played across his lips. "I can't hear you?" But he had. He even took off his grimy token blue baseball cap and flipped it around, as he always did before __kicking the snot out of an innocent kid._

_ Hope hung his head. "Yes." Just after the words fell from his lips, Dex kneed him in the stomach. As Hope hunched over, his face was met with the same knee and he fell backwards to the ground. His nose began bleeding and his head now screamed in agony. The pain in his gut was dulled by the new injury. He opened his previously scrunched up eyes and saw the sadistic grins and stares of the boys towering over him. He knew it was far from over._

_ Cass watched from under the dumpster, feeling as slimy, disgusting and crappy as the container over his body. Hope fell to the ground and was soon being kicked and punched by all of them, even Cass's arch nemesis. He was being hit so many times, Cass couldn't even keep track. Every grunt and grown made him wince. After a good kick to the head, Hope's face turned to Cass's direction and their eyes locked. His scared, sorrowful purple eyes met with Hope's pained yet happy and proud green._

_ Hope was proud of himself and happy to take the hit for his friend. His head felt like a piñata fighting to stay closed, his bones now felt like shattered glass, and he was sure that his spleen or something else important had ruptured inside him, but he was happy._

_ After the minutes ticked by, the incessant taunting and laughter lessening, the punks grew tired as they began panting. "Shows you Estheim. I knew you were a wimp." Dex spat on Hope's face before wiping his brow. He gestured to his group and began to leave. "You may have saved that spineless nobody today, but you say anything and we'll pummel him tomorrow." They all laughed and ran towards the end of the alley, fleeing on their waiting bicycles._

_ Cass waited until he could no longer hear their cackling. He scrambled out from his hiding spot and ran to Hope. His silver-haired friend was sprawled out on the dusty concrete, his eyes closed, one swollen shut, and his breathing labored. Cass put a shaking hand gently on his savior's arm, wondering if he was conscious. Hope groaned as he stirred. "Hope! Hope are you all right?" A bit of tears began to form in his eyes as he stared at his friend's shattered form._

_ "Yeah, I'm f-fine", was his mumbled reply. Sitting up slowly, Hope glanced around, seeming __very alert._

_ Cass covered his hand with his sleeve and wiped the spit off of Hope's face. "They're gone."_

_ He relaxed. "Help me... up." His voice was strained but strangely upbeat._

_ Cass complied and they steadily got Hope to his feet. The elder friend winced as a pain struck his side. "Thank you Hope. I mean... really, thank you."_

_ Hope leaned against the wall and looked at his best friend. He was smiling wide with wet eyes, and Hope knew in his heart that he'd done the right thing. "It's..." he coughed and spat out some blood. "...okay Cass. I'm fine."_

_ Cass furrowed his brow. "Why didn't you fight back? Or... why didn't you at least try to?"_

_ "Why would I?" Hope came off the wall and tried to find a balance on his feet. He hurt everywhere and he didn't know how he was going to make it home. Or how he was going to face his mother and answer her questions regarding his con__dition._ Better yet, how am I going to face my father?

_ His younger friend shifted slightly. "Because it's-"_

_ "Violence doesn't solve violence. I don't want to hurt anyone, I just want to be left alone." He tried to turn back to the direction of their neighborhood, but ended up getting extremely dizzy and almost collapsed. Cass caught him, as well as he could anyway, and helped him up. "Let's get you home, Cass."_

_ They began walking home, Hope's breathing slow and labored. Cass tried to support some of Hope'__s weight off of his dragging leg, attempting to do all he could for the bestest friend he knew he'd ever have. _You are like my brother, you know that? The big brother I always wanted._ "Thank you Hope."_

* * *

Snapping fingers came into Cass's vision, followed by their owner, the ever impatient Lightning. He blinked rapidly as he came back from his reverie. "What..." Last he knew, he had been sitting at the table eating his cereal, while Lightning took a shower. Obviously he'd gotten lost in his mind as his bowl was empty and the soldier was now waiting on him.

"You were staring into space", replied Lightning. She crossed her arms and raised a brow.

Cass just laughed as he put his dishes in the sink. "I was just remembering how heroic and utterly stupid our mutual friend can be." He turned to see Lightning's surprisingly unguarded expression of shock and pain at his mention of Hope before she put her usual mask swiftly back on, sealing her feelings.

She then simply turned and walked into the next room muttering, "Hope isn't stupid", before sitting on the couch.

He followed her and smirked. Collapsing onto the couch, he sighed. "Taking on four... three and a half people to save my ass isn't stupid?"

That image would not work out in her brain. She just couldn't imagine Hope fighting. During and after their time as l'Cie, yes. But not before. Not that scared kid that had been clinging to Vanille's arm. Ever since Cass had first mentioned it to her, Hope's willingness to take on bullies, she just couldn't understand how. "That's... true. That is a rather stupid thing to do. Who would defend your ass?" Cass chuckled. "It's hard to swallow though. When..." Lightning gave her companion a glance as she began reconsidering letting him into her mind. But she stopped, remembering who she was doing this for, and that she was glad that she was learning more about Hope during this _civility_. "When we first met Hope, he seemed like he'd never been in a fight in his life." A memory of a young Hope stumbling over his own feet came to her mind, making her smile inwardly. Until she remembered how she'd treated him for it.

Cass snickered and pulled his beanie from his pocket. He fingered it a little before placing it lazily on his head. "No, he'd been in a fight... he just... wasn't used to fighting back."

Lightning nodded and noticed the fondness in Cass's eyes that was always there when they spoke of their missing friend. "You guys _are_ really close huh?"

He shrugged, staring dully at the wall. "When we were younger, I worshiped Hope with an intensity approaching religious. He was my best friend, my role model and my big brother all wrapped into one. And after everything and he woke up... he was... _mostly_ the same. He still treated me the same and I him. Even tried to help me deal with the loss of my mother, her being locked in that crystal and all." He bit his lip. "It didn't really work. Most time's I just wave off my pain and try to forget it's there. But Hope... He absorbs his pain... takes it and makes it a part of him that he can use to make himself better." _Maker, I miss that dunce. _He jumped up from his position, joker smile in place. "Well now that we're all thoroughly depressed, let's shuffle off to the day job shall we?"

* * *

Hope watched in horror as his brand began to appear on his arm. _Please don't do this. _"Please." He continued to struggle. Due to both the pain of his incoming brand and the fear that he would soon become that destroyer of mankind that Yeul had foreseen, he fought relentlessly. He couldn't let his brand come back, but it seemed there was no stopping it. His wrist felt like hot iron was being burned into it, all the way into the bone.

The vile woman stood, watching all of her work finally pay off. As the young man before her cried out in sheer agony and thrashed on the table, she could only laugh. That is, until she saw the brand's progress subtly but surely begin to slow. Fear and anger flashed behind her cold gray eyes and she stomped towards him. She was ready to finish him off. She had gotten him this far, she could most certainly finish what she started. She always did. But as she stepped two feet forward, she was met with an invisible barrier that surrounded and shielded him. It seemed the one thing causing him the most grief, was also protecting him, cocooning him. Castea growled and beat her fists against the force field. When that didn't work, she tried spell after spell, but it was no use. This frustrated her to no end. _You little maggot. I won't allow this. _She tried to see if the brand had grown any further but the glow of his wrist was far too bright.

The light emanating from his surfacing brand momentarily blinded Hope. Even as he closed his eyes, the light pierced through his eyelids. His brand would not allow him peace. He couldn't even find the solace of the darkness. His back arched as his skin felt like it was being fileted off of him. _I can't do this. Please, please just let me die!_

_ "Hope!" _A voice seemed to call out to him in his mind. Faintly, he recognized the bright cheery tone, but his mind was so lost in his suffering that he couldn't find a way to figure it out. _"Hope, hang on. Please!"_ Through his hazy state, Hope realized who it was. The accent should have been a dead giveaway.

"Vanille", asked Hope groggily.

_"Yes. Now__, you need to-"_

Hope let out a shrill cry as waves of pain shot through him. His body heat was raising rapidly and sweat poured down his forehead. "I'm sorry Vanille. I can't do-"

_"Nonsense."_

"Fang?"

_"Looks like I gotta knock some sense into that thick skull o'yours."_

A small smile came across his face but was quickly wiped away by another jolt of searing pain. His throat was parched and his lips had become painfully chapped in a matter of seconds. It felt as though he were lying on the sun. Or that he had swallowed it. Even though it was incredibly difficult, he tried to respond. "I'm sorry you guys." It came out as a croaked whisper. "I can't live like this anymore."

_"Shut it", _snapped Fang. _"People need you. Academia needs you. Snow, Dahj, Serah, Sazh, Lightning, they all need you."_

Hope's eyes fluttered closed as he felt the life draining from his body.

_"We need you", _Vanille cried.

But Hope couldn't hear them anymore. While drifting out of consciousness, his body became numb, as if it had become used to the pain or his mind had just blocked it all out.

Castea bared her teeth as she growled. _The kid doesn't even have his brand fully back yet__ and __he's already blocking my powers. _She sent a firaga towards him and this time, her spell came back at her. She had already cast protect on herself so there was no harm done except to her pride. "Sebastian! Get your ass down here", she yelled, fury filling every fiber of her being.

Sebastian shot down the stairs and over to her, followed by four men. "Lad-" Immediately he stopped, seeing the blinding white light emanating from Hope's wrist. The other men went toward the young man and were shocked as they met with Castea's current problem.

"We have to get to him Sebastian but he's put up some sort of shield. I'm so close I can taste it. I just need to get closer. He's already fighting off the brand. Who knows if he'll be able to stave it off completely." Castea closed her eyes before grabbing Sebastian's arm, her nails digging deep into his skin, and pushed him further toward Hope's table. "I want that protection barrier down. All of you use the most powerful spells you can. But stop if the shield comes down." All together the six of them, Castea and her henchmen, threw every different powerful spell they had. It was no use. One of Castea's men tried a blizzaga spell, only to have it ricochet back and kill him instantly.

After a tireless ten minutes, nothing was working. Sebastian looked over to Castea with fear and worry written on his face. "Lady Hidon. This isn't working." She didn't look at him nor acknowledge his comment. A yell was cut short from across the room as another man fell dead.

Castea gritted her teeth and walked as close as she could to Hope. "I..." She stopped and thought of how she could threaten him. She couldn't get close to him, so harming him was a useless threat. But she knew just the thing to use against him. As loud as she could manage, she yelled over the use of the others continuing with their casting. "Listen Hope. I know you don't want to make me mad. I will get the _invincible_ Lightning Farron down here. We'll just have to see how tough she really is as she's squirming next to you with a blade being driven into her gut."

Hope's eyes snapped open. He half expected for the roaring pain to come zooming back but he still stayed in an utterly numbed state. He couldn't even feel the beating of his own heart. His eyes darted to Castea. He heard her words and knew she would make good on her threats. Her smile grew as he watched her. He couldn't move a muscle as it appeared that whatever was keeping him safe from the pain and Castea was also crippling him. He wanted to cringe, fight, yell, do something, but he couldn't even manage an eye twitch. But inside his head, he was screaming. _No! You won't ever take Light. I won't let you. You can't. I'll... I'll..._ He couldn't do a damn thing. If this barrier didn't come down soon they'd go after Lightning. He would do anything for her. If he could he would let down his protection, but it was out of his control. Everything was out of his control. And he couldn't stand it.

She could tell by the look in his eyes that she had him. _Just a bit more._ "Are you still watching out for her Hope?"

Hope's eyes widened. _"Lightning. I—me too. I mean, at least I'll try. I'll try to watch out for you, too."_

"I can't wait to hear her cries and screams echo throughout my halls. Imagine her blood gushing from her skin and the pure agony in her expression. Think about it Hope."

And that was the last straw. Her words ignited his imagination. Vividly, he pictured Lightning beside him being tortured on a table of her own. The screams... the pain on her face... the cuts... the burns... the blood... her face as it paled... the light leaving her eyes... Hope had lost and he had nothing to cling to anymore. No hope was left for him and finally he gave. Every last bit of restraint left him. Despair took his heart and soul as he was ready to surrender. To death? To Castea? He didn't know. All he knew was that it was over for him.

His external suffering came back with a vengeance as his wrist burned with an intensity that was sure to kill him any second. Yet he recognized a feeling. Deep inside, a familiar presence awoke. _Alexander? _As if answering to his name, the Eidolon began to emerge from within Hope. The entire room and no doubt the rest of the Ark shook as Alexander rose behind the young man.

Castea's jaw dropped as she watched the giant fortress appear before her. Turning to Sebastian, she saw his face mirrored hers. Stones began to fall as the ceiling and walls broke apart. Although the room was big, Alexander was too much for it. As he continued to grow, he reached the ceiling of that floor and broke through it. The last of Castea's men besides Sebastian were smashed by falling stone. The woman went to move but every time she stepped out of place, giant pieces of rock and structure would fall before her.

Hope's eyes grew wide seeing his old friend return. He watched with shock and glee while still wincing at the pain of his wrist. A small tear escaped his eye at the sight of his Eidolon and the sight of a new found hope. As he began to smile, a chunk of the ceiling loosened above him. It fell toward him along with several slightly smaller pieces. Hope's eyes squeezed shut and he cringed waiting for his inevitable death. But it never came. He opened his eyes slowly to see a giant hand hovering above him. Alexander had stopped the falling debris. He then tossed the rocks over into Sebastian, pinning him into a corner. The room was clouded in dust and dirt which made it hard for Hope to see and breathe. He began coughing and closed his eyes as the filthy atmosphere was stinging them. Then he felt an unbelievable pain in his side. His eyes shot open. The dagger that once occupied his side had been ripped out and Castea held it at his throat.

"I won't..." She looked as though she were at a loss for words. Something Castea didn't experience much. "You get rid of him or I swear-"

Somehow, Hope managed to laugh. Locked in a dungeon, restraints tying him down, a knife held to his throat by a woman threatening to take everything away from him, and he laughed. "You really don't..." He coughed a little. "...know how Eidolons work, do you?"

Before Castea could even manage a retort, she was struck in the side by Alexander's hand. Her body was flung into the wall behind her. At the angle her head hit the wall, her neck had surly snapped.

Hope gasped at the sight before gasping at the pain in his side. The hole was still very much present. As he looked down at it though, he felt a cool sensation throughout his body as the wound healed shut. He looked up toward Alexander and gave him a smile. The giant then sent a careful fira to Hope's left hand that burnt off his restraint. Quickly Hope used the dagger that had been left on his chest to cut through the last of his bindings. As he was cutting the last one on his right foot, he slowed, staring at his brand. It captured his attention, not because of its return, but because of its new look. It was a crystalline blue. Though it reminded him a lot of Fang's, it was much bluer whereas hers was white. Hope's head shot up as he heard many others coming toward him from the stairs. Being distracted, he had yet to cut himself free.

Five more men came down from the third floor. Alexander began taking them on as Hope cut the last cuff. He scrambled off of his table only to be met with one of the nameless men under Castea. As he walked backwards, stumbling over the stone that littered the now devastated room, he tried to delve into his magic. _If my brand and my Eidolon are back, then my magic is too right? I just have to __remember how to use it. _The man in front of him was only a hair smaller than Sebastian and he was snarling toward Hope as he drew nearer. No doubt, he knew of Castea's death. His brand was visible to Hope being on the back of his hand. It was white just like Fang's.

Swallowing thickly, and hoping to find his well of magic somewhere, he raised his hand. Closing his eyes, he searched until he felt that tingling feeling of magic course through him and into his hand. Hope opened his eyes as he released what he wanted to be a blizzara and instead was a very weak fire. The man snickered as the magic barely fazed him and he came closer, raising his own hand. Tripping on a large rock, the silverette fell backwards to the ground. Just as the large man was to send a powerful spell into Hope, he was smashed by Alexander's foot.

Hope smiled. "Thanks buddy." His Eidolon had already rid the room of the others yet Hope knew there were no doubt more ahead. _I have got to figure out my powers again. Alexander won't be able to stay long. _Grateful that the stairway was still accessible and still intact, he bolted toward it, his giant following behind.

As he reached the third floor and began running for the second, Hope stopped in his tracks. _Zalera! I can't leave her. _Remembering every turn from his cell, he ran to it. When he reached the hall of cells, he was amazed that he hadn't come across anyone. Unknowing of which was hers, he called out for her quietly as to not alert any other minions. "Zalera? Zalera, where are you? It's Hope."

"Hope?!"

He heard Zalera's voice a couple doors down and went to it. "Hey. I'm gonna get you out ok", whispered Hope.

Zalera was stunned. She was wondering what all of the commotion was. "How are you free? What happened? Where's-"

"Castea's dead. I'll explain in a minute." Hope held out his hand over the lock and sent a blizzard spell into it. It was very weak but he was just glad he got it right. After a few more, the lock was thoroughly frozen. Hearing a few voices coming from the stairwell around the corner, Hope sent Alexander to take them out.

When the Eidolon had turned the corner, Hope kicked at the frozen lock until it busted. He reached for the handle only to be grabbed by the throat from behind. He was then turned around and shoved into the wall. Another burly man, whose white brand was on his face, began strangling the life out of him. His hands were huge and were able to easily trap Hope's neck in their grip. With the force and strength of the man, it wouldn't be long before he was dead.

"You think you are to just kill us all and escape?" He had a very Pulsian accent. "I don't-" The man was hit in the side of the head with a metal tray. His hands came off of Hope's neck as he was tackled by Zalera.

Hope focused on breathing as he had thought for sure that his throat had almost been crushed. He looked over to see the man toss Zalera down the hall like a rag doll. As he turned back to Hope, the young Director let a thundaga loose from his fingertips, sending the man to the floor dead. Hope was stunned by the ferocity of the spell considering what he was expecting. He stood and saw Zalera still on the ground, staring wide eyed at him.

Hope ran to her and pulled her up. "How did you-" Zalera stopped, noticing the brand. Her shocked face looked up to Hope as tears welled in her eyes. "They succeeded", she whispered.

He swallowed and nodded. "Yes but we have to leave. Come on." He tried to drag her along but she wouldn't move. Hope gave her a confused look in return.

Guilt, regret and shame was all that filled Zalera. "I can't. I don't deserve to go." She shook her head as her eyes met the floor. "Just leave."

Hope took hold of her shoulders and shook her. He knew why she was doing this but they didn't have time and he wasn't going to leave her. "No Zalera. I'm not leaving without you." A faint smile crossed his lips as he thought of a way to get her to move. "Come on. Help me get out of here. I can't make it on my own." Her eyes met his. "Please."

An expression of determination came over her as she grasped his right hand tighter and led him out. "Okay", she yelled back at him.

He smiled and focused on following after her. As they came upon the second floor, they also met three big men. Hope ran ahead of her and held out his hand hoping to send a fira. Instead, he felt his whole body go completely cold as a large blizzaga flew from him. The sheer force of the spell threw him back into Zalera, sending them to the ground. When they managed to sit up, Zalera glaring at Hope momentarily, they were amazed. All three men were frozen solid.

_"Hope, I don't have much longer."_

It was Alexander who was fighting above them on the first floor. His words snapped Hope back into reality. He turned to his companion who was staring at the men. "You okay?" Her expression remained as her gaze floated to Hope. He jumped up and grabbed her hand, pulling her up. He went to run for the first floor but was stopped by her. "Not this agai-"

"No. Look." The woman pointed and then ran toward a desk. It held her bag and her chakrams along with Hope's gunblade. She tossed his gunblade to him before slipping on her bag and grasping her weapons.

Catching his gunblade, Hope beamed. It seemed they may actually make it out. "I thought I'd never see this again."

"Betcha thought you'd never wield magic again." Zalera walked over to him. "Let's go."

He nodded and they ran. They made it up to the first floor and saw Alexander taking on a dozen last men.

The giant turned toward them slightly. _"Go"_

Hope grabbed Zalera and they ran toward the entrance. There were big, bulky stone doors and if they could just make it to them, they'd be free.

Just a few more steps and they would be at the doors. As he held out his hand for the handle, Hope heard a yelp from behind. He slid to a stop and turned to see Zalera on the ground. Her leg was painfully burnt and electrical currents ran across her skin. He went to help her up. "Come on."

"No", replied Zalera weakly. "Just go."

Hope frowned and pulled her up. "We do this together."

"How touching." The voice came from a man about twenty feet away that Hope didn't recognize. "But you won't be leaving anytime soon." The man was dressed in a white cloak that matched Castea's. He had black hair tied up in a bun, with a scar under his left eye and his white brand was just under his left ear. He was tall and slender and was most likely the one who struck Zalera.

She gritted her teeth and glared at him as he approached. "Barsilisk", said Zalera, her voice dripping with venom.

He smirked at his name. "It's nice to see you as well."

Without much thought, and to Hope's surprise, Zalera sent one of her chakram's toward Barsilisk. He easily side stepped it but was soon met with another in the arm. The young Guardian had run up to him so fast, Hope had hardly made it four steps. She drew her chakram out if his arm as he sent a fira into her. She winced and slid away from him toward her matching weapon. As she grasped it, she felt another shock hit her, sending her to her knees.

The man smirked but before he could make a move, he was hit in the back by a waterga. He turned to face Hope.

"No, go", yelled Zalera, urgently waving him off.

Barsilisk smiled as the ground began to quake beneath them. "I'll bring this whole place down before I let you escape." The walls and ceiling began to crack and crumble. The violent shaking caused Hope to tumble to the ground. The man took a few steps toward him, his eyes piercing into Hope's. But when he opened his mouth to speak, he was struck with a chakram in the back and let out a choked gasp before falling lifeless.

Hope shook his head before running to Zalera's side. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it." She winced and pulled her leg toward her.

He bit his lip as he looked at it. He wanted to heal her leg but he wasn't sure he could. As with his other spells, there was a good chance that he would get it wrong and hurt her rather than cure her. "Can you stand?"

She attempted to get up, her hand on his shoulder leveraging herself up, but cried out in pain. "No, I can't."

A thunderous crack sounded from the ceiling. The Ark had taken too much damage and was now beginning to come down. Alexander took out his last opponent and went to Hope. Zalera attached her chakrams to her bag's back straps before Hope picked her up bridal style. The Eidolon brought his hand down to them and picked them up. Bringing them close to his chest, Alexander walked them towards the doors. Massive pieces of stone fell all around them, much falling on the giant. Hope covered Zalera best he could and Alexander covered them with his other hand.

Bursting through the doors, they made it to a dark tunnel. It wasn't very long and they could see the sun through the entrance. Hope could feel Alexander being pulled back into him. The Eidolon let them down just before he was dismissed. The cave had apparently been effected too because it was crumbling as well. As fast as he could, Hope ran with Zalera in his arms. Making it out just in time, the cave entrance collapsed, sealing everything and everyone inside.

Breathing in a sigh of relief and joy, Hope laid Zalera down. He then knelt beside her and ran his fingers through his hair. For minutes all the two could do was stare at the cave in amazement. They were finally out and they were alive.

Hope put his hand to his bare chest and closed his eyes. _Thank you, Alexander._

_"Congratulations little one. You are free."_

He smiled. He'd completely forgotten what it was like to feel his Eidolon's presence and how his voice sounded in his head. Opening his eyes, he felt as though he'd lost all of his energy. In the rush of the situation, Hope had managed to drudge up enough energy to fight and survive but now it was gone. All that was left now was pain and a feeling of utter exhaustion. Although Alexander had healed his most severe wound, all others were still very much present.

Seeing Hope's suffering through his expression, Zalera put her hand on his cheek. "Hey are you alright?" Looking over his body, it seemed that question had an obvious answer. He still had many cuts, burns and bruises. Plus that escape had probably cost him a lot of energy. Not to mention how much his magic and Eidolon must have drained him. "You should heal some of this up", she suggested as she ghosted over a gash on his chest with her hand.

Smiling, he looked into her concerned gaze. He looked over her leg and drew in a deep breath. "Let me do something first." Tapping into his magic, he focused solely on healing her, trying his best to get his magic right.

Before she could stop him, her leg began to heal. Zalera closed her eyes and let the soothing magic take over her senses.

When it was all better, Hope drew his hands back. That took a lot out of the young man and he now felt ready to collapse. He bit his lip as the world blurred a bit. "There."

She opened her eyes and smiled. "You didn't have to..." She looked over at Hope and grabbed his shoulder as he tilted slightly to one side. She shook her bag off of her shoulders and got on her knees before him. "You need to heal some of your-"

Hope chuckled briefly. "I would but, it's surprising that I got the spell right on you. I'm not sure I could do that again." Their eyes met again as his vision refocused. "Plus I don't think I have the energy. Even if I did, I need to preserve my strength. We don't know if there are any more of them or what we'll come across out here." As he said that his eyes searched the area, realizing that now, they were on Pulse. They were in a forest at the base of a small mountain.

Zalera looked up. "It's morning." It was already hot and muggy out even though it was fairly early. But the two didn't care. They enjoyed the clear, crisp air that filled their lungs, replacing the musty, dank air they'd been breathing in for months.

As they continued to survey the area with their eyes, Hope caught sight of the beautiful, giant crystal that was Cocoon. It stood proud over the surrounding trees and was surprisingly near. "We were that close", stated Hope, astounded. He attempted to stand but felt tugged down by Zalera.

She grabbed his arm as he got up. "Nope." She led him down and pulled out a rolled up mat from her bag, placing it under his head. "You rest. I'll stay on lookout."

Hope went to protest but felt all his words catch in his throat as he yawned and his eyes fluttered closed. Soon, he found himself in blissful sleep. Something he hadn't experienced in far too much time.

Zalera stood and looked out over her home. She drew in a shaky breath as tears built up in her eyes. _The last time I was here and free, you were by my side. _Tears began to silently fall down her cheeks and she looked at Hope. _You shouldn't have saved me but thank you. I'll watch over you now. I owe you that._

* * *

After a few peaceful hours had swept by, Zalera continued to stand guard over a sleeping Hope. She had been a little leery of remaining in front of the cave, not knowing if more men would show up, but in favor of Hope's exhaustion, she thought it was best to stay. The morning was quiet except for the usual noises of the wildlife and beasts that occupied the landscape.

The green-haired woman felt a harsh mixture of joy and sorrow. She was finally free. Her and her new friend were finally out of that dreaded Ark and met with her beautiful home. All those months and Gran Pulse was still the same as ever. Although she wasn't alone, she felt lonely. The one person she had planned to remain with and protect for the rest of her life, or until Yeul died from her visions, was gone. She would never come back. And no one could ever replace her. Even when Yeul was reborn, she wouldn't be the same. She wouldn't be her Yeul. And who knows who she'll be born to or where. Finding her would be impossible.

Zalera took a glance at the sleeping young man a few feet from her. She was glad that he survived and was grateful that he had gotten her out. But even so, as much as she hated herself for it, she felt an overwhelming need to kill him. He was again a l'Cie. A l'Cie with the power and destiny to kill off all that inhabit the planet. How could she not think about killing him. He was now a threat to all of humanity.

Chakram in hand, she walked slowly over to Hope. He was lying on his side, one hand under his head, unaware of his friend's cruel thoughts. As she stood over him, she brought her weapon to his throat. One sharp, silver spike was only a centimeter from his pale skin. Swallowing, she tensed. Her mind raced with thoughts of how it was the right thing and how it was for the good of everyone. Her hand began to shake ever so slightly though as she began thinking of him as a person. Not as a monster bent on destruction and an unleashed murderer, but as a simple, humble man. A young man that had a life, goals, hobbies, family, friends. He didn't choose this fate or this evil power. _I'm sorry._ She quickly withdrew her weapon and walked away from him. Staring out into the small forest that surrounded them, for she couldn't stand to look at the poor kid she almost murdered, she thought about what she could do. _I'll protect you. You saved me and helped me even though I should have died for my failures. And I will help you fight this fate. You will not be used by anyone to commit this unspeakable evil. If there is anyone left hunting you, I will kill them. And I will get you home._

"Zalera?" Hope groggily sat up and rubbed his eyes. "What-"

She turned, eyes wide, and looked at her fellow companion. "It's only been a few hours, you should rest more."

He smirked as he got up from the ground. Yes, he was sore and his body screamed for more relaxation, but he was free. He'd be damned if he wasn't going to enjoy his freedom and the ability to move untethered to a stone. Looking around the area, Hope's expression was filled with glee. "We did it. We actually made it. I thought I'd wake up to find myself strapped back to that..." His jaw tightened and his eyes squeezed shut momentarily. "... Maker forsaken table and it all would never end."

Letting go of her thoughts, she walked over to the overjoyed young man. "No, you saved us." She smiled.

Hope looked at what seemed to be a new Zalera. They were both still filthy, covered in dirt, blood and sweat, but she seemed more beautiful now than she had ever been. Maybe it was because she appeared to be genuinely happy for the first time since he met her, or it was the way the sun and clean air graced her features, but she was stunning. He chuckled before coughing a bit because of his dry throat. "It was Alexander who saved us."

The young woman shook her head. "You saved us. I'm just sorry..." She looked down at his wrist and frowned. "I'm just sorry it took this to get us out."

"Yeah, I always covered my brand when we were l'Cie. So it wouldn't be noticeable you know?" She brushed her fingertips against his left wrist. "I guess... I should..."

Zalera then ripped off a piece of her skirt and wrapped it around his wrist, hiding his brand. "Well when we find people, you should tell them. Not have them just find out and have to explain. This way, it'll be on your terms." Their eyes locked as hers searched his.

He fingered the fabric and grinned at her. "Thanks." Jumping as he heard a loud roar, Hope looked away. "We need to get going." He sighed and looked as if he were going to cry from happiness. "I can't believe I finally get to go back."

As he went to walk toward his blade that lay previously forgotten on the ground, Zalera put her hand on his chest, stopping him. "We'll find a safe place to rest. You need more sleep."

"No I'm alright-"

"You need it Hope. We're very close to Academia. Most likely all of those l'Cie are dead. There's no rush." Irritation and a hint of anger passed over his expression, causing her to take a step back.

_No rush? _"I have been locked up in that hole for months and my home is right there, so close that I could almost touch it and there's no rush? You may have your home back but I don't. I have to get back to my home, to my family, to my friends-"

"To her?" Hope's anger seemed to dissipate quickly and Zalera's expression softened. She turned away from him as his shoulders relaxed.

"Yeah."

Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she gripped her chakram tightly. "I won't ever have my home back. Yeul was my home. Nothing means anything without her."

He cursed himself for getting angry with her. "Look, I'm sorry."

"No." She turned and walked to her things. She packed her mat back up and strapped on her bag and weapons. "Let's go. If we avoid all unnecessary monsters and keep a steady pace, we should get there by nightfall."

"Are you serious?" He knew that it wasn't far but he had no idea that they were that close.

"Trust me. I know my distances." She picked up his blade and tossed it to him. "We'll get you home soon."

* * *

"Okay Lightning, we both know you aren't going to use that", said Cass as he rolled his eyes. _And here I thought we __were getting along._

Lightning now stood in Hope's office with Cass against the wall, her gunblade at his throat. It was eleven in the morning and she was tired of his crap. She pushed her blade further into him so it was just grazing his skin. He didn't even flinch to stop her. "No, you're right. I won't. I can't" She drew back her weapon and holstered it. As he came off the wall, he smirked. When his eyes drifted from her, his body relaxed as he was ready to go back to his desk. When his guard was back down, she briskly stepped into him and socked him hard in the stomach. Cass let out a loud grunt as he collapsed to the ground, cradling his gut. "But I can do that." She stepped back away from him and walked over to the couch to sit down.

She had knocked the wind out of him so he attempted to suck in all of the air he could. "Really, I don't know what I did this time", spoke Cass breathily.

"Oh I'm sure it was something." The two looked over to see Alyssa standing in the doorway. She had her hands behind her back and her sunny smile in place. "I just came to remind you of your string of meetings from twelve-thirty to four. If you're going to take a lunch, you should probably do it sometime soon."

Cass sighed. "Yeah, yeah." He waved her off as he picked himself up off of the ground.

"Don't hold back next time", said Alyssa to Lightning as she left the room.

The Director looked to the door in mock exasperation and huffed. "What is the world against me?" Sitting on the front of his desk, he snickered.

"If you weren't such an ass hole-"

"All I did was compliment you." She gave him a death glare for cutting her off, causing him to throw his arms in the air. "Whatever, I give up."

The soldier crossed her arms and sat back into the couch while still staring him down. "Making tactless and crude comments are not compliments."

Cass just rolled his eyes and walked to the door. "Like I said, whatever." He opened the door and slouched against it, rubbing his sore stomach. "Well unless you wanna beat me up some more, we should probably get some lunch." She didn't move an inch and he itched his head through his beanie. "I'm going to get some food and I'm pretty sure my _guard _is supposed to come with me."

Keeping her steeled expression, she stood, not voicing her irritation or unpleasantness and followed him out.

Ten minutes and one silent walk later and they were down on the first floor. As Lightning went to walk toward the mess, Cass stopped her. "Not today. I'm seeing someone today."

Lightning raised a brow. She didn't know Cass socialized much. Figuring he meant Sazh or Maqui, she continued to follow him. As they approached the business owned by Jun, she grew curious. "What are we doing here?"

He looked back at her and smirked. "I told you I was going to see someone today. Have you eaten here? It's great."

"Yeah. Hope and I ate here." She swallowed the grief that threatened to surface at his name.

Cass's expression changed to that of wonder. "Really?"

"Well now what can I..." Jun came up from behind the counter and stopped when she saw her new customers. "Well I'll be damned. If it isn't the new Director. How have you been Cass?" The woman's voice held a bit more exhaustion than the last time Lightning saw her. She also had some bags under her eyes and her shoulder length white hair was tied in a messy bun. Her eyes lit up even more at the sight of Lightning. "Oh and it's nice to see you too young lady."

Cass smiled. "Hey, Jun. I'm doing fine. 'Cept all this work they got me doin' is killing my brain."

"Yes well, no one ever said the job was easy. It was no wonder when Hope stopped coming by with the rest of you." A look of sadness and sympathy crept into her expression. "That poor boy. Maker, whoever took that young man deserves a hell of a lot of-"

"Nana?" A young boy with bluish-purple hair came up next to Lightning and was giving Jun a curious look.

Quickly snapping her mouth shut before any harsh adult words could reach his little ears, Jun peeked out the window to look at him. "Oh dear, what are you doing out of school?"

He chuckled and rolled his eyes. "I got out early remember?"

The old woman put her palm to her forehead. "Right. I'm sorry honey." She waved towards Cass and Lightning. "You remember Cass don't you?"

His face lit up and he jumped up and down. "Hey. I haven't seen you in forever."

"And this is his and Hope's friend, Lightning right?"

The soldier nodded and gave the kid a smile. She bent down and held out her hand.

The kid's eyes widened as he looked at her. Slowly he grasped her hand and shook it. "You're pretty."

Cass snickered to himself and slapped the kid on the back.

Lightning chuckled and stood. "What's your name?"

He gave a sheepish expression that reminded her of Hope's. "It's Arden. I'm eight." He looked between Cass and Lightning as he thought of a question. "When's Hope coming back?"

The three adults' smiles all wilted and Cass and Lightning looked to Jun. "Honey, you should head on home. Get Donya from the bakery to take ya home. Be careful okay?"

His face dropped as he whined. "Aww but I wanna spend more time with Cass and the pretty girl, Nana."

"No buts Arden. Run along. It's only a block away. And no TV til I get home all right. Remember, I'll know."

He sighed. "Yeah because grandmas know everything." Arden turned and waved at the two next to him, before taking off.

Jun wiped her brow. "Man, what I wouldn't give to have his energy." She laughed and turned to Lightning and Cass. "What would you like?"

"The usual. For both of us", replied Cass. Lightning frowned at his assumption. "Oh don't get your panties in a bunch, princess." Jun leaned over and smacked him upside the head, causing Lightning to chuckle. "Ow!"

"That's no way to talk to a lady. Learn to be a gentlemen."

He rubbed his head. "Geez, sorry."

Lightning pointed toward him. "This one? A gentlemen?"

Jun gave a laugh. "Oh, he can be one." She faced Cass with a raised brow. "I remember when the three of you used to come around. You would be so sweet and courteous to her."

The young man bit his lip as he blushed.

This intrigued Lightning. "Who?"

"Nivien", responded Jun. "Even while she was dating Hope. But he was too good of a friend to do anything about his feelings."

He looked away. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Jun just snorted and handed them their food. "Anyway, come around more often you two. Arden misses ya Cass. And he's seems quite taken with you, dear."

Lightning quirked a brow. "Is it just the two of you?"

The woman sighed as she put Cass's money in the register. "We all lost people in the fall. His mother was killed in the attack on Eden and his father... my son is most likely crystallized in that world up there somewhere. It was a miracle I found Arden. I take care of him now." She wiped the tears from her eyes.

Uncomfortable, Lightning shifted. "I'm sorry."

Jun reached out and patted her hand. "Don't be, dear. Trust me I've heard my share of apologies from Hope already. That boy is such a sweetheart but he really needs to stop blaming himself for it all. I don't blame any of you. It wasn't your fault you were made l'Cie. Now go on and enjoy the sunlight."

They said their goodbyes and walked over to the Academy steps. Lightning sat and stretched, mind still encompassed in the woman's words. "I get why Hope works so much a bit more now."

Cass gave her a curious glance as he began to eat. "Really?"

"He feels so guilty. I do too, but..."

He furrowed his brow as he looked at the usually hardened soldier. _Hope really does soften her up. _"It's not just that. There are a lot of people he wants to save and feels obligated to. Like it's his duty to save them all. Be it your sister, her fiancé, Sazh's boy, Nivien's parents, Arden's father, my mother... or every other person trapped in that crystal, Hope has worked tirelessly for so long to find a way to get them out." He hummed to himself for a minute and stared down at his food. "He finally finds a way and he gets taken. I mean, I don't mean to sound paranoid but... doesn't seem like a coincidence to me."

Lightning chewed slowly as she took in Cass's words. _No, it doesn't._

* * *

With one last hit to the chest by Zalera's chakram, the final Ahriman fell dead. "Well, looks like they're not letting up anytime soon." She wiped the beading sweat from her brow as she turned to Hope.

He half grinned as he holstered his weapon. "Yeah, what was that? Like the fifteenth group of monsters in the past hour?" He shook his head to rid himself of his weariness. "Well let's go. We're getting closer and..." Stopping, he looked to Zalera with confusion. She was just standing there, staring at the ground. Her face held a tinge of hurt. "What's up?" He couldn't help the impatience that had seeped into his voice. Hope was eager and ready to get back home after all that time away. He just hoped that there was enough of his genuine concern in his tone to mask over his rudeness.

There was a lone daisy growing a few feet in front of her. When her eyes had spotted it, she found she couldn't draw her gaze away. It had been Yeul's favorite flower that she had always loved to pick.

"The daisy huh?" Hope came up to her and gently put his hand on her shoulder. She furrowed her brow and looked at him. "You told me a while back that she favored them."

She nodded her head in response. She then bent down and brushed it's petals with her fingertips. "For as long as I knew her."

Hope bit his lip as he struggled with a question. He'd already asked her a couple of times but she'd been cut off or told him it was too painful. "Zalera?"

Nodding in response, she continued to caress the flower. The young woman already knew where the conversation was heading. And this time, she would tell him.

"How come you're not a l'Cie? I know that Yeul's Guardian is supposed to be one and it makes sense so..."

Standing, she looked at his inquisitive eyes. They held curiosity, but still that same gentleness that told her it was all right for her to ignore the question and move on. "I was not her original Guardian." Slight shock took over his gaze. "During an attack by some Pulsian beasts, Yeul was severely hurt. Although her Guardian healed all her wounds and she didn't blame him, he blamed himself. He felt he could not protect her, that he was a failure." She laughed bitterly. _I now know how __that feels._ "Those doubts coupled with her previous injuries, turned him Cie'th..." A pregnant pause followed her words before she continued. "Yeul didn't want a Guardian after that, not when that was all her protector would have ahead of them when she was hurt or dead. So I told her... that I would protect her without the powers of a l'Cie. It was better than no Guardian at all. At least I had thought..."

Hope sorely regretted asking the question. He couldn't believe he'd asked her anything remotely involving Yeul when she was already understandably having a hard time. Instead of attempting to console a woman who was still not ready to face her pain or carrying on with the awkward silence, he figured it was best to just leave it be and continue on. "C'mon."

* * *

And so they sat. Cass, Hildough and a few other men that Lightning didn't know and didn't care to know sat around a table in one of the many conference rooms of the Academy. They were discussing some form of business and she had long ago tuned them all out. She wasn't there to observe the meeting or to participate in it. Nor was she asked to, unlike when she worked with Hope. He'd wanted her involved. That or he was just being a gentlemen in asking her to be since she was with him anyway. Regardless, she stood beside the oak doors, listening to nothing but her surroundings and doing her job of guarding and protecting the Director.

The day since lunch had been rather uneventful and dull, filled with meeting after meeting all matching the current one. _What I wouldn't give to sink my blade into a monster or... ten. _With all of her boredom and pent up frustration, she found herself craving the rush of battle. She just wanted something to kill. It'd been so long that the soldier felt as if she were having withdrawals. Of course, even if she weren't on irritating guard duty and she were able to kill off some wildlife, she knew it wouldn't satisfy. For what or... really _who_ she wanted to kill, was very much out of her reach. Her thirst for battle, blood and revenge was undeniably strong as she thought about it. She wanted desperately to rip apart the people that took Hope. _They deserve worse than any torture I can deliver but when I get my hands on them... _Realizing that she was now shaking with anger and Cass and Hildough were both giving her curious and concerned glances, she took a deep breath, pushing all that back into the recesses of her mind.

Her ears twitched as she heard someone approaching the door out in the hall. Slowly, as to not alert the rest in the room, her hand found her gunblade. Her shoulders tensed as she waited. A few moments later, a swift knock sounded from the door before Alyssa stepped in. Lightning relaxed and released her hold on her weapon.

"Director... um there's someone here to see you." Alyssa seemed uncharacteristically nervous. "She says it's important."

Cass stood and half-ass excused himself for a minute before following Alyssa out the door. Lightning, having to stay with him twenty four seven followed as well, leaving Hildough to make idle conversation until they returned. They walked a little ways down the hall and to another conference room. Alyssa then smiled and left. When they entered they were surprised to be met by Nivien sitting at the table.

Putting his hands in his pockets, Cass walked over to the Lieutenant as she stood. Lightning shut the door behind her and then leaned against the wall beside the door, only there because of her job. She looked up to see that the woman looked furious and confused, making Cass a tad uneasy.

Nivien scowled at the young man before her eyes shifted over to Lightning. "You are excused for now, Sergeant."

Lightning furrowed her brow and was ready to speak up, but Cass beat her to it. "She's fine where she is." He kept his gaze fixed on the seemingly distraught woman in front of him as he spoke to Lightning. "Although I doubt there's a threat here... better safe than sorry."

The Lieutenant stepped towards him, eyes ablaze. "I ordered her out."

"And I ordered her to stay. Last I checked, I outrank you now, soldier."

Now Lightning knew he had a death wish. His cocky tone in the face of that fuming soldier pretty much proved it.

"Oh, you want her in on this too, huh?" She turned in Lightning's direction and gave her a sidelong glance. "Well this _stranger _is in on everything else anyway."

_Stranger? What the...?_

Cass sighed, growing tired of the animosity. "Please elaborate on _this_."

Nivien's jaw tensed as she looked back at her old friend. "I just spoke with Captain Geno. What the hell are you doing Cass?"

For a split second, his eyes twitched slightly, but it seemed Nivien hadn't noticed. "What?"

"You know what." She pushed him back by the shoulder. "What the hell have you gotten yourself into this time? I thought you were-"

"Nivien, stop", ordered Cass, but she continued.

"This is exactly why Hope stopped talking to you."

Lightning's head snapped up. _Stopped talking to him. _This confused the Sergeant for all she'd known since she'd met Cass was that he and Hope had been great friends. Maybe she should have focused more on the 'had' part.

Cass appeared to take extreme offense to her words. "Oh, really… and why'd he stop talking to you?"

A look of shock registered on her before she smacked him across the face. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

The slap was very loud and harsh. As much as she felt that maybe Cass deserved what Nivien was doling out, Lightning thought she should step in. Cass looked back at the woman in front of him, stunned. As he went to move towards her, Lightning walked in front of him and stopped him. "I think you two need to cool it." She put a hand on each of their equally tense shoulders. At the contact, Nivien's furious gaze landed on her before she shook Lightning's hand off.

"Get your hands off me, Sergeant. No one asked for your help."

Lightning clenched her teeth. She didn't need to get into another spat with the woman. It was incredible that she'd gotten out of being disciplined the last time. She didn't need to risk it again, but the woman was hell bent on a fight. "I'm just doing my job, Lieutenant. Maybe it's time you leave. Go cool off a bit."

Nivien smirked as she scoffed. She walked a few feet away and turned back to Lightning. "So, you wake up out of stasis and think you're some big shot bad ass soldier? That you can just take on and command anyone you want? That you can _do_ whatever you want?" She slammed her fist down on the oval table beside her. "What gives you the right to come here and just..." Her head lowered as she bit harshly into her lip.

To say that Lightning was shocked would be an understatement. Was the Lieutenant having a nervous breakdown? Was she going around yelling at everyone else this way or was this wrath reserved for just the two of them? And if so, why were they the lucky ones?

Cass shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Nivien... is this about..." He stopped and bit the side of his cheek. "This isn't about me is it? This is about-"

Her head shot up. "No, this is most certainly about you. Hope told me to look out for you... to keep you out of this and... Dammit Cass, do you want to die?"

_What is going on? _Lightning wanted to demand answers, especially since this all apparently concerned Hope, but she held her tongue until a better time. Again she tried to step in only to _again_ get her head chewed off by the Lieutenant.

"No one wants your help Farron. No one needs your help. Cass doesn't need it. I don't need it. Hope most certainly doesn't need it. So why don't you go back to protecting your statue of a sister?"

Lightning's body tensed as she tried to fight off the urge to beat the woman's ass. Nivien was out of line, very, very out of line, but she was still a superior officer. This needed to stop before things got further but try as she might she couldn't control her anger. "What did you just say?" She stepped towards Nivien but Cass held her back. "Where do you get off talking about my sister? And I can protect whoever I damn well please. Hope is my friend too."

Cass sighed. _How did I become the mediator? _"No, stop it. This is so not-"

Nivien pushed Cass off to the side and grabbed Lightning's collar. The Sergeant then shoved the woman off of her, held up her hand, and tried to remain calm. _If you were any other person, you'd be so dead right now._ "I don't know what your problem is but-"

"Enough", shouted Cass. He stood and picked up his beanie that had been knocked off in the scuffle. "Lieutenant, leave now. Return to your post before..." He gave her a sympathetic gaze. He hated being a boss and this was why. "... before I have to report you." His eyes met the floor so he wouldn't have to see her expression.

Lightning crossed her arms and scowled at Nivien as she walked to the door. "This conversation is not over." She turned and glanced at both of them. "Neither conversation is."

"Lieutenant", warned Cass.

She left the room without another word.

Lightning's head was swimming with thoughts. She was replaying the whole situation over in her head to try and catch every detail she could. She tried to piece things together but couldn't. She turned to Cass. "What was that about?"

Cass looked over at the soldier. She sounded surprisingly calm but with a glance, he could see she was straining herself. "I'm sorry about Nivien's behavior towards you. That was uncalled for and... I'm sorry." He put his beanie back on and straightened out his clothes. "We have a meeting to finish." Lightning opened her mouth but Cass spoke over her. "Please, we'll talk about it later. We don't have time right now."

As much as Lightning hated the thought of waiting, she kept her mouth shut and nodded. At least this way she knew she would get real thorough answers if they talked about it when they had more time. And they _would_ talk about it. She wasn't going to let Cass get away without explaining things. Nivien had appeared to be a decent woman and soldier before. And who knows, maybe she still was but she just let her emotions get the better of her. _But emotions about what?_

* * *

The silence was becoming unbearable between the two as they continued on their course to Academia. There hadn't been a spoken word since Hope had stupidly asked that question. Not even through the last four battles did they speak. Zalera's mind was still endlessly trapped in her memories while Hope was trying to find a way to bring her out.

As they walked through another small spans of forest, Zalera finally spoke. "You can say something you know? I'm not going to go off at every little thing you say." She flashed him a small smile as she relaxed a bit in her steps.

Hope's eyebrows furrowed before he sighed. "Sorry."

"And stop apologizing." Punching him gently in the arm, she chuckled. The young woman had thought a lot about Hope over the course of the day and she saw him now as not only a friend but as a sort of redemption. He would give her a second chance. If she could protect him and keep him alive, then maybe she wasn't a complete failure. Of course, he already had someone looking after him. But it wouldn't hurt for the legendary Lightning to have some back-up. "So what do you think I'll be doing once we get to your city?"

Hope smirked at her calling it his city. It'd been over a year and he still wasn't used to his leadership role. Even if he was though, he never considered it his. The city was created by its people. It was their city as much as it was his. "Well we have rooms in the Academy building. You can stay in one of those. And... I don't know. What do you want to do?"

Zalera shrugged and looked forward. She had never once thought about it in her entire life – living in Academia or any other city. Since she was born, all she had was her tribe and she had been more than happy with that. But now with her tribe gone and her new oath, it was something that was inevitable.

Her ears perked and her body stiffened. She could feel the slight tremble in the ground and hear the approach of a creature on their tail.

The young woman's alertness had not gone unnoticed to Hope. He gripped his gunblade as he stared uneasily at her. Before he could ask, she grabbed tightly onto his hand and ran, dragging him behind her.

They continued running for a few minutes until they'd lost it. They were a little off course but she figured it was worth it. That is, until they had run themselves into a bigger problem. Just ahead of them, was a Behemoth King. Their eyes met briefly with worry and fear. They were too close to it to be able to run, but they knew taking it on would be suicide. Before they could step a foot back however, the creature came at them full force.

Hope raised his hand in an attempt to cast something but Zalera pushed him aside and out of the way. She drew up her chakrams and stood ready for a fight.

Standing, Hope sent a few firas at the beast, trying to slow it's speed. The beast snarled at them and threw it's massive paw down on Zalera. She held up her chakrams in defense and held his attack back.

While she was preoccupied, Hope threw an aerora spell. It hadn't been what he wanted. He knew full well that the Behemoth was immune to wind magic, but he still couldn't get his magic down. It was frustrating him to no end. Hadn't he been the best with magic? It had come so easily to him before, what was wrong now? He shook his head, dispelling his thoughts. Zalera was still struggling with the monster and needed help. Wishing he had his boomerang at his side, he quickly charged at the beast and sliced into it's the paw that had trapped his fellow teammate. Then he drew it back and went for the King's head.

With Hope's attack, the beast eased off Zalera with a roar of pain. Regaining her bearings, she saw Hope going for the Behemoth's head. She then threw her weapons toward the monster's face in an effort to distract it. It worked for the young man was able to get it in the eye.

Crying out in agony, the monster threw out his arm and hit Hope in the side, sending him flying into a nearby tree. Luckily, Hope had already cast protect on himself but the blow had still knocked a lot out of him and would surely leave a giant bruise covering his side.

Zalera gasped as she watched Hope land. She went to run to his side but he held up a hand signaling he was fine. Drawing up her chakrams she then ran for the beast. The creature noticed and went to swipe at her. He got a claw full of air as she slid underneath its hand and underneath the Behemoth entirely. Mid-slide she brought up her weapons and sliced down the belly of the King. She made it out just in time for it to come crashing down to the ground. Giving a sigh of relief, the young Guardian went to Hope. When she reached him, his eyes were wide. Following his gaze, she found herself having the same reaction.

The Behemoth king began to transform and now stood before them, ready for another go. They both quickly stood and gripped their weapons tightly in their hands. Giving each other a slight nod, they split off in different directions and stood at opposite sides of the creature. Hope sent spell after spell towards the giant before them as Zalera took it on with her weapons.

He felt his strength dwindling as the battle continued. One quick glance over toward his partner told him she was experiencing the same. Her steps and attacks were a tad slower and just a little off. Firing off a waterga instead of a firaga, Hope cursed himself. He was tired of getting his magic wrong.

Their one savior in this fight, should they need it, would be Alexander. Sensing the being inside him, Hope knew he wasn't ready yet.

Zalera, clutching her chakram, went to stab the monster in the face, only to have the Behemoth catch the weapon in his teeth. Her breath hitched in her throat as the monster flung her back. After hitting the ground harshly, she stood, dazed. The creature, ignoring Hope's magic, then went to swipe at Zalera. She was just a second too slow for it as it's paw found purchase in her side. Its claws ripped into her and through her back. Screaming in anguish, she attempted to bring her weapon up but her grip slipped and it fell to the ground.

Hope yelled out to the beast and sent a powerful firaga into it's side. This caused the King to throw the young woman to the side and turn it's attention to him. It's movements were jerky and slow and Hope could tell it was almost done. While dodging the monster's attacks, he was able to take out the Behemoth in a few more spells and hits from his gunblade.

Sparing no time after the beast hit the ground, the silverette ran to Zalera. She was laying by the tree he had landed against before. Her side was gushing blood and Hope fought the disgusted look surfacing on his face. Zalera's breath was erratic and her eyes were dull. He was just thankful she was alive. "It's gonna be okay Zalera. You're gonna be fine." He put his hand over her and focused on healing her injury. As a minute passed by, nothing came. "No this can't-"

_"Focus Hope"_, spoke Alexander softly.

Drowning out everything around him and all thoughts in his mind, he lost himself inside and closed his eyes. When he finally felt the tingling of magic reach his hand, his eyes burst open. His cure spells began healing her and Zalera's pained expression softened. "C'mon Z, you're gonna be fine." His spells stopped working however. Her side was still open and exposed to the outside, but he managed to stop most of the bleeding and healed shut one of the gashes.

Coughing, she gasped as she attempted to sit up. "Did you just call me Z?"

Hope nervously smiled and rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah well... sorry." He pushed her back down when she cried out in pain. "Stop."

She laughed lightly. "Yeul used to call me that."

An apologetic look mingled with his concerned expression. "I'm sorry. Maker, I'm so sorry. I keep saying the wrong things and I can't even heal your wounds and-"

"Don't apologize. I've missed hearing the name." She gave him a warm smile and clutched his hand. "And you're doing fine with your magic. Your body has to adjust, especially since your brand was forced to surface. It will take a while before you get back to full potential." Gasping she used her other hand to apply pressure to her side. "You need to go. Academia is only five more miles. It's just hard to tell through this thick forest."

"No, I'm not leaving you." He jumped up, grabbed her chakrams and attached them to her back. He then picked her up, trying his best to ignore her pained cries of protest.

Zalera weakly scowled at him. "This is beyond idiotic. What if we come across more monsters?"

"We'll be fine."

* * *

Lightning arched a brow. "Are you going to speak sometime soon or are we just going to sit here?"

Sighing, Cass looked over to the pinkette and frowned. He stood and walked over to the wall. They were back in Hope's office and Lightning was waiting for the Director's promised explanation. "Nivien has just been a little... off since Hope disappeared." Cass was really hoping that he could play on Lightning's concern for Hope so he wouldn't have to talk about Nivien's initial reason for speaking with him. He couldn't believe the Lieutenant had found out and he was still trying to find a way to explain himself out of it with her. "Which is understandable considering how close they were and the fact that his abduction led to her brother's capture as well."

Biting the inside of her cheek, Lightning looked to the floor. "I know that but... she had no right yelling at us. What was all that anyway? What was she talking about? Asking what you were into? That I thought I could do whatever I want?"

Cass took off his beanie and rubbed it. "Well I think I know why she went off on you." He smirked as he looked into her confused expression. "You're a threat."

Lightning tensed and furrowed her brow. "What the hell are you talking about?"

He chuckled. Finding a way around the topic of his recent activities was easier then he thought. "Oh it's unbelievably obvious. Hope has feelings for you." Her eyes darted towards him. "He's liked you as more than just a friend for a while now."

Eyes falling back to the floor, Lightning refused to listen to him. Because she didn't believe him or because she didn't want to believe him, she wasn't sure. "That's ridiculous."

Cass wiped a hand over his face. "Trust me Lightning, I know what I'm talking about. And Nivien's just been jealous since you woke up. Even she knows." Lightning didn't say anything. She just looked off to the side with her arms crossed. "To tell you the truth, I think that's why they broke up."

Lightning's head shot up. "Because of me", asked the soldier, stunned.

Grinning, Cass walked over to sit at his desk. "Nivien loved Hope, there was no doubt about it. For some reason though, he kept her at arms length. His work, his father's death... those were just excuses. I think... no I know, that the real reason was because he was holding onto his feelings about you."

Giving him an incredulous look, Lightning was speechless. She'd had her suspicions when they were l'Cie, but she figured it had just been a simple crush out of adoration. She didn't think he'd still carried such feelings for her. She wasn't even sure how to feel about the thought. It was obvious that he was someone special to her but she had yet to figure out in what way.

Cass continued on with a new purpose in mind. He couldn't help his best friend out of whatever mess he was in currently, but he could help him with his mess of a love life. He knew that Hope loved the soldier. He'd known for a long time. Although he wasn't sure about Lightning's feelings, he knew there was something there. "I think it was the main reason for him throwing himself into finding a solution for waking those in stasis as well. I think initially it was all to wake you up."

Her head was an utter disaster now. She couldn't even process half of Cass's words. She thought for a second, with the punks record and smug smile, that he was lying and playing a trick. But something told her it was the truth. Before she could respond however, her comm went off. A split second later, so did Cass's. They simultaneously looked at their comms. "It's Sazh."

"Alyssa", Cass replied.

They both answered only to give each other mirrored looks of shock and happiness. Lightning stood and bolted out the door, still talking to Sazh. As she ran down the Academy's halls, his first sentences were all she could think about.

"He's all right Lightning. Hope found his way home."


	12. Purpose

**A/N: Good Goddess, it's been a long time. But school is over. Thank the Maker, high school is gone and in the dust. Now guess what takes priority in my life. This right here. I'm uber stoked. **

**Reviewers- You guys are unbelievably kind. You all are just so sweet. I don't know how to repay all of your awesome reviews. Wait... an update! Duh! Thank you guys soooo much. I was quite proud of how the escape turned out and was way too excited to write this next chapter. I think you all suspect why. I don't think there's as much fluffiness as you were hoping for, but it's coming. Do not fret. Although, ****I finally got to write a HopexLight moment! It had been far too long, trust me. **

**As always, hope you enjoy and review. Thanks again :)**

* * *

Night had fallen. It was quiet and serene for most of Pulse. The air had cooled considerably as the harsh heat of day retired with the sun. The moon shone down brightly and the stars were visible with brilliant clarity. If he hadn't been in such a mad rush, Hope would have stood and watched the sky for hours admiring the beautiful scene.

Hope's heavy breathing and thudding heartbeat were all he could hear as he approached Academia. He was so close and with the proximity, he felt his body giving. The gashes and bruises felt larger than ever, his sore muscles now ached and burned, sweat poured down his body as his legs pumped beneath him, and Zalera's weight was getting to him now too.

Concern for her weighed heavily on the young man's mind as well. She had lost consciousness long ago and he couldn't help the dread that filled him as he thought that he might not be fast enough. He could still feel her slow heart beat and her ragged breath on his shoulder and chest, so he knew she was still alive. But for how much longer?

As they grew closer and closer to his home, the silverette smirked. They were coming up on one of the hangars in the Calvary base. There would be many soldiers to assist once he got there and the hospital wasn't far from them. _Just a little farther and I'll be home. _His pace picked up slightly at the thought.

Two soldiers stood guard on the perimeter of Academia that Hope was closing in on. As soon as they saw and heard the approaching man, they drew their weapons. They threw worried and confused glances at each other, wondering how to engage this situation. Approaching monsters was one thing, a thing they could handle. But a person? They could simply be in distress and require assistance or they could be a disguised threat. As the man drew closer, the soldiers tightened their grips on their weapons.

"Hault, who are you? What business do you have here", shouted the tense soldier.

Hope tried to yell and run, but his lack of air hardly allowed him to even press forward, let alone speak. "I'm... someone help... please? It's the... I'm t...th...the..."

When he came within fifteen feet in front of them, one soldier noticed not only his aura of utter exhaustion, the many wounds that marred his body, and the fact that he was tightly holding an unconscious woman, but that he was, none other than, the director. The soldier, a seasoned one at that, that had spoken earlier immediately lowered his weapon at the realization.

This elicited a hiss from the soldier beside him. "What are you-"

The older, more experienced man then pushed the other's gun harshly down and towards the ground. "Are you blind or just that much of a rookie? Call in. That's the director, you idjit." He then ran towards the young man.

"The director? As in the missing Director Estheim?" Before he could make himself look like anymore of a fool, he took out his comm and called in.

As the guard reached him, Hope's knees gave leading him to kneel, Zalera still tightly gripped against him. His head bowed while he allowed himself to catch his breath. He knew he needed to tell the soldier, who was now crouched beside him, what was going on but his head was far too fogged. His mind was enraptured in his aches and pains, his worry for Zalera and the fact that he could feel her blood trickling down his stomach, but mostly by the pure joy in knowing that he was home. Hope felt a heavy deadness inside him being parried by the blossoming lightness of life coursing back through his body. _I'm home. Home..._

"Director", repeated the soldier. He gently yet firmly placed his hand on the young man's shoulder, stirring him from his thoughts and bringing him back into reality.

Hope's eyes finally met with the man beside him. "Please, she... needs help", Hope whispered breathily.

"Of course. A med team is on its way." The guard carefully extracted the unconscious woman from his grip and stood.

The only way he'd managed to get as far as he had, was with Zalera in his arms reminding Hope to stay strong and alive for her. To make sure he saved her. Without that, his strength dwindled. Still, he stood alongside the soldier carrying the young guardian. After a few steps however, he felt the deadness rise within him once more. He felt an arm snake under his and attempt to help him up. Another soldier came up beside him and Hope continued with his support.

The eighteen year old private sent a glance of pity toward the director's bruised, cut up and battered face. "Careful there, Director. You need some assistance as well."

* * *

"Sazh, your chocobo is shedding all over the equipment", grumbled Maqui as he stood. Maqui was up late, as he had been most nights, working on a ship that he had already fixed. Ever since the incident, Maqui hadn't slept much at all. His constant tinkering turning from habit, to a sort of coping mechanism. He couldn't help the nightmares that had followed his encounter with the l'Cie villains. Night after night, lost in the terrors of his slumber, he'd feel the beatings over and over again until he couldn't take it. Then, the dreams would morph. They would change from his horrifying experience to that of his friends'. Knowing what the creeps were capable of, just made him imagine all of the things his captured friends could be going through. And he knew Hope was getting the worst of it.

Sazh, who had become concerned for the young man and his health, decided to stop by on his walk with his feathered friend. Seeing the kid lost in a bed of wires being no surprise to him.

Maqui gave the man a glare but it quickly faltered when the object of his annoyance nuzzled his chest. Trying hard not to laugh, the mechanic smiled and pet the chocobo on the head, listening to the bird's soft sounds of contentment.

Sazh smirked at the two. "Don't be such a grump. That's reserved for old men like me." _I'm glad I brought her. She can cheer anyone up. _

The kid sighed. "How many times do we have to say it?" Sazh rolled his eyes, knowing exactly what he was referring to. "Quit talking like you're a hundred."

"Really now? Then why did someone happen to give me a cane and a bag of adult diapers for my birthday?" The man shoved him playfully and shook his head, remembering the rounds of hysterical laughter that had followed after unwrapping Maqui's 'present'.

"It was a joke _because _you always act like you're older than the Maker." They both laughed as they stroked the large bird's neck. "I can't wait until you finally name her. I'm kinda tired of calling her 'the chocobo'."

Sazh's expression turned pained for a millisecond before softening. "That right is reserved for Dajh... when he gets out of stasis." That last part came out as a whisper. He would be lying if he said that he wasn't disappointed that it had been Lightning that had woken up. It wasn't that he didn't want her awake, he wanted to see all of them. Have them all back in reality, enjoying the lives they deserve and remaining close with him. Even Serah, who he didn't know in the least, but from the stories he heard from Snow, he knew she was a wonderful girl. But he had been waiting for two years to see his son; milling through a life that had seemed meaningless without him. Unknown to most, Sazh had gone through multiple bouts of depression. And Hope was always there to help him out, constantly checking in on him on his scarce times off work. Even choosing to pop in over getting some well deserved rest. _And now he..._ Sazh brought his hand over his face as he dispelled his thoughts. Having only succeeded in sending himself into an even darker corridor, he realized he needed to leave that hall completely.

Realizing the slip of stupidity and carelessness, Maqui looked to his shoes. "S-sorry S-"

"Aw don't be." His smile was bright and charismatic as ever. "It's no problem kid." The man slung an arm over his companion's shoulders, shaking him a bit. As he went to say something else, he was interrupted by the side door to the hangar swinging open and banging harshly against the wall, a loud metal clang resonating throughout the building.

The two looked to the guard, who they knew as Sergeant Larinx, with curiosity and nervousness as they saw a woman in horrible shape draped in his arms. Those looks quickly turned to an odd mixture of happiness, fear, sadness and unbelievability as they saw those following through the door.

"Hope!" Maqui bolted from his spot toward their long lost friend, Sazh running after. They both took positions at Hope's sides to help keep him standing. The private nodded toward the two and went over to the sergeant's side as he laid the girl on an empty workbench.

Sergeant Larinx put a hand to her clammy forehead and sighed. He then turned to address the others. "The director came up running at us with this woman all torn up. A med team is on its way. It should arrive shortly."

Sazh nodded in acknowledgment, before turning back to the young man beside him. He was shocked and horrified at Hope's condition. It seemed that every torturous pain you could ever experience, he'd been through, right down to the ripped out fingernails. Hope's dead eyes lost in the distance only reflected the excruciating events he'd experienced.

Maqui couldn't stop the flood of questions that cascaded from his mouth as he stared at one of the friends that all too often haunted his dreams. "Where have you been? What happened? How did you escape? How did-"

"Maqui", came Sazh's fatherly tone. "Slow down." He could feel Hope trembling against him and wondered if he was even aware of where he was. "Hope? Hope it's us", he spoke soothingly, slowly guiding him over to a chair. "Are you-"

They all stopped abruptly as they heard a scream from the now writhing girl on the table. The soldiers, about to run to her side, were stunned, along with Maqui and Sazh, as they saw the director rush toward her.

Zalera was quaking and thrashing. She seemed to be fighting invisible demons – or past ones. "No! No stop!" Another ear shattering scream erupted from her. "Just stop. Don't touch her! I will kill you. All..." She gasped and cringed as if something had stabbed her.

Hope, who had been lost in a mindless daze, had heard Zalera's cries. Knowing that he had to help her and that he was possibly the only one who could, with this at least, was quick to get to her, tucking everything else that had taken over his mind away for a while. He didn't dare touch her, remembering his own nightmares. His touch to her would most likely be like the sickening grabs and gropes of the monsters that had held them in the Ark. "Zalera", spoke Hope, loud as to reach her through her screams, but gentle to ease her out of her pain. "We're out. They can't hurt us anymore. They can't hurt her anymore. Castea, Sebastian... they're gone." Hope swallowed, taking in his words and finally letting his mind absorb the fact that they were safe. "Please Zalera. We're home."

Zalera's eyes snapped open wide, full of fear. Breaths quick and erratic, it seemed she wasn't going to calm anytime soon. Her eyes searched the room around her before finding Hope's jade eyes. "Hope", she croaked. Her hand gripped his. "I-" Her eyes fluttered closed before she slipped back into unconsciousness, hand loosening until sliding out of his.

Sighing, Hope turned back to face the others in the room. "Hi", was all he said with a slight smile.

Maqui ran forward and embraced him, relief flooding him. "You're okay."

"As okay as I can be I guess." Wincing a bit at the pressure on his wounds, Hope hugged back while meeting Sazh's eyes from over Maqui's shoulder.

The elder man stared not fooled by the smile Hope tried to give him, but he smiled back anyway and tried to brighten the mood. "It's great to have ya back kid." Sazh swooped in to give the young man a hug when Maqui and Hope had separated. He grimaced when he felt a wet stickiness seep into his clothes and when the odor, a blend of vomit, blood, sweat and grime, hit his nose. The reflex to pull away was dulled though by the need to keep him close. In finding that Hope was truly home and in his presence, Sazh hugged him a little tighter. Pulling back with a wide grin, he eyed the young man critically. "Time to get you cleaned up huh? And where'd your shirt run off to? With your shoes?"

Hope chuckled until he felt the ground beneath his feet shift while a fuzziness invaded his vision. Falling forward into Sazh's arms, he sank to the ground mumbling something incoherent. He heard gasps and yelling and shouting but none of it made sense. His breaths came in short bursts as he tried to let the air around him into his lungs. The blurriness of his vision would not relent. He heard more footsteps and new voices. Soon he felt himself being lifted and put on what seemed to be a stretcher. He could hear Zalera kicking and screaming a short ways away from him but he could not help her this time, even though he felt the need to soothe her fears as she had done for him.

As the world around him began to fade, Hope attempted to fight his way back but his injuries and his mind held him with a steel grip. The darkness and deadness invaded him again, the pain not even reaching him. He had experienced so much pain in the past few months that it now barely fazed him. But he was home. He'd finally made it. He no longer welcomed that darkness and deadness that he wished so desperately for before. He reached and groped for the light ahead of him. The bright light that symbolized the warmth of his home and his family but the evils of his past, of his pain, would not let him forward. It would not release him and Hope wondered if it ever would.

* * *

Lightning ran into the hospital with thoughts solely on Hope. The nervousness and guilt she'd had before when visiting Maqui held back by her worry and need to see him. She searched through the room of nondescript, unimportant people for Sazh. When she spotted him, she found her feet carrying her toward him before she had even realized she'd told them to move.

His eyes darkened at the sight of the soldier. He knew this was going to be a long laborious conversation that would probably involve a lot of restraining the unrestrainable woman before him. "Lightning, good to see ya. I-"

"Where is he?" She mentally cursed herself for the shakiness in her voice but let it slip from her mind. Some things were more important than her pride.

Sazh sucked in a breath and ran a hand through his fro. "He's being tended to okay, he-"

"I asked where he was", Lightning barked. She clenched her fists to stop the slight tremble in her body.

"Lightning you need to calm-"

She stepped toward him, murder in her eyes, and grabbed his collar. "I'm calm. Now tell me where he is or I'll find him myself."

Sazh, grabbing her hands while attempting and failing to take them off of him, tried to show her through his eyes how the situation was. He tried to tell her wordlessly, since she wouldn't allow him to speak, how bad things were and how patient she would have to be. However impossible it could be for the soldier, she would have to wait.

Growling, she let him loose and took a deep breath, stepping away a bit before returning her eyes to his. Sazh gestured to a chair beside him but she refused, although now finding herself worrying more since he thought his next words warranted sitting.

"He's bein' taken care of and you can see him as soon as they're done. You don't wanna get in the doc's way of fixin' him do ya?" He put a hand on her shoulder which she lowered until it slid off.

"Tch, fine." She sat and glared at the man as if it were his fault. She had a feeling that she was soon going to be talked to like a child. That Sazh was the one to call her, the one there to speak with her when she stormed in, to handle her. And she hated being handled. "You can tell me what happened."

Sazh sat beside her, finding himself sighing once again. "He was found by some soldiers guarding the perimeter. They said he came runnin' up to them with an injured woman in his arms. From what we saw of her, she looked close to death. Of course, so did..." He cast a wary glance to Lightning.

"What woman?"

"We think she was probably another person held captive with him. She didn't have the same injuries but-"

Lightning felt her breath hitch in her throat. She knew he wouldn't exactly be perfectly fine, but she hadn't wanted her mind to think about his condition. She had really only focused on the fact that he was back. "Injuries?"

Sazh slowly nodded. "Along with some wounds obvious from fightin' off the monsters of Pulse... it looks like... he was indeed... tortured."

Jumping from her seat as the last word left his mouth, she huffed. She felt herself falling back into her grief and despair. What had she done? What had he gone through after she'd failed to protect him and failed to find and save him? She paced over a small distance in front of Sazh, trying to refuse the desire to run to his side, which would no doubt disrupt him from being helped and ultimately hurt him more than help him. _I'm sorry. Maker I'm so sorry._

He wanted to stand and comfort her, but knowing Lightning, that would only end with him having a broken jaw. So he sat and tried to let his words do the soothing. "He's goin' to be fine Lightning. The doctors said that-" She gave him an intense scowl, telling him not to sugar coat anything. "He's got a lot of serious injuries and he'll need alotta time before he can... but he's gonna be all right. He's alive."

Lightning stopped and turned toward Sazh. "You said he _was_ all right. There's a difference between alive and all right, Sazh." Her tone changed with her next sentence and was now a yell. "Tell me the truth. How bad is it?"

The people around them had now quieted considerably and stared. Lightning paid them no mind but Sazh cast his eyes over them before leading the distraught woman down a hall. "He's-" Interrupted yet again, Sazh stopped as Rygdea came through the doors leading from the ER.

His face was grave yet held a small amount of happiness and hope. As his gaze raised from the floor to the two, he made his way over. "Okay Lightning, give him a break." The sergeant sent him a token glare for his assumption that she was giving Sazh a hard time.

"How's Hope", asked Lightning, skipping over their pointless exchange and getting to the concern at hand.

"They're done bandaging and stitching him up but-"

Lightning turned to Sazh. If his injuries were so bad then how could the doctors be done with him already? Unless Sazh had waited that long to tell her. "How long ago did you find him?"

Sazh glanced concernedly at Rygdea before looking apologetically at Lightning. "Four hours ago."

Before she could even register his outrageous words, Rygdea stepped in. "It was my orders to keep this quiet Lightning. We-"

"Quiet from me",she screamed. "How could you-"

"Don't Lighning." Rygdea looked into her azure gaze trying to show her his seriousness, but all she could see was his weariness and sadness.

Sazh rubbed his cheek before turning to the calvary leader. "Can we see him?"

"He's still unconscious but yes you can." Seeing Lightning perk up brought a knowing smile to the man's lips.

"How's the woman... Zalera?" Sazh was still unsure if he'd heard Hope right and that that was her name but without either of them to tell them then...

Rygdea pulled his ponytail out and fingered the tie. "She's still in surgery. Her wound was pretty deep. If what you expect is true then Hope probably-" He stopped, seeing the warning look in Sazh's eyes and remembered their discussion to keep it from Lightning.

The young woman sensed their keeping of secrets and stepped closer toward them. "What", she asked, frustration and growing fury evident in her voice.

Sazh sighed and looked to the tense soldier. "I think that Light oughta see him first."

Before she could say another word, Rygdea was signaling a soldier standing in the corner to them. Rygdea told the man to take Lightning to the director's room and stand guard outside until she was finished.

As she eagerly walked with the soldier, forgetting her question toward the men completely, Lightning was practically on the tall man's heels.

After the two had left through the doors, Sazh turned his attention back to Rygdea. "That was close."

"I'm sorry I forgot. And you're right. You're completely right. It's his to tell her." Rygdea shook his head as he thought about it. That wouldn't be a pleasant conversation.

Sazh nodded. "He did have it hidden for a reason. We were most likely not supposed to see it but... I just can't believe it."

_Hope fell into Sazh's arms and the elder man sank to the ground with him. _

_ Maqui yelled toward the guards to see what was taking the med team so long before coming to __help Sazh. As he went to his side though, Maqui caught sight of something on his friend's skin partially hidden under a dirty piece of fabric that had ridden up. As he pulled it up slowly, his eyes bulged. _

_ Sazh, noticing this, found his eyes widening at the sight as well. "No."_

_ Maqui looked up at Sazh. "H-how? I thought it was gone?" _

_ "It was."_

Sazh was grateful to the doctors who'd sworn they would be sure to keep the cover on his arm, but he knew she would find it anyway. With the way Lightning was, she would surely note every injury on Hope and inspect his body completely. The foreign piece of torn cloth around his wrist would not go unnoticed nor unchecked.

* * *

Standing outside the door, she was surprised at the rising apprehension that was inside her. Her arm just wouldn't open the door. Anxiety, guilt, fear, pain, they grew inside her like weeds, spreading throughout her body. _Is he really in such bad shape? What happened to him? He blames me, I know it. I should have protected him. I should have come and saved him. Instead he had to do everything on his own. I can't face him. He won't- No! _Lightning growled and shoved it all away. _You will face this Farron. Hope's here now and you have to see what he's been through. You have to see what you put him through. And this is Hope. You have to make sure he's all right. _

The moment she saw him, she wanted to scream. She wanted to take the people responsible for Hope's condition and break them into tiny little pieces. She wanted to hit something, beat something, shoot something... Yet she also wanted to stay by his side, heal all his wounds and make him better. Make him... him again. This was not Hope. This could not be her Hope that she had sworn to protect. She could never allow something like this to happen to him. Could she?

She stood beside him and couldn't believe her eyes as she scanned over his body, taking in all of his wounds. There were dozens of bandages of different sizes covering his body. Multiple cuts lied littered along him that were too small for coverage. He had bruising around his neck from obvious strangulation. Numerous burns marred his skin, and on his right wrist was a horrible burn from being restrained. Lightning trembled looking at him. He had such a gentle soul and was one of the sweetest and most caring people she knew. How anyone could ever do something so monstrous... to him of all people... she couldn't even imagine... she couldn't even breathe.

Taking a few, much needed, deep breaths, she looked at his face. His face even held the weight of his pain. Aside from the bruising and cuts, his lips were horribly chapped, there were deep, purple bags under his eyes and his skin seemed to hang a little loosely over his cheekbones from a noticeable loss of weight. With a shuddering breath, she brought a shaky hand to his messy hair and brushed it from his eyes._ Why you? Why did it have to be you?_

Lightning's eyebrows furrowed as her eyes landed on his left wrist. His right wrist was left exposed, showing the burns from his bindings, but his left wrist was covered by a worn, tattered, green piece of fabric. Curious, she slowly, gently, almost nervously, slid the cloth up his wrist. As the brand slowly began to appear before her, she couldn't believe her eyes. She didn't want to.

In a huff of anger and disbelief, she ripped the fabric from his arm, exposing the offending mark fully. There it was. In all its glory. The hideous brand she knew all too well, that they had worked so hard to fight off, was back on his wrist and there was no denying it. He was a l'Cie once again.

_ I've failed you. Even more than I thought I had. I... let them do all of these... things to you and now you are..._ She couldn't process it. It was all too much. For so long, all she wanted was him back but now... with him in front of her... she was faced with the harsh reality that she had abandoned him. It didn't matter why or if there was a good reason for it, she had abandoned him. And she knew she could never forgive herself for it.

Sitting, her eyes didn't leave the mark. Curiosity struck her as she saw the difference in color. It wasn't red and black. It wasn't white. It was blue. It was a bright almost crystal-like blue. She found herself finding the dreadful mark quite beautiful and felt disgusted with herself at the thought.

Seeing as she couldn't bear to see it any longer, she looked to Hope's face once more. Calmness washed over her. The kind of calmness only Hope could instill in her. He was home. He was physically and most certainly emotionally damaged, far from all right, but he was home... with her.

As minutes ticked by, she watched him and she could feel herself already relaxing with him. She was regaining a sense of normalcy with his presence. It had been months, days of his absence she had endured, so it shocked her at how easily and how quickly she'd become accustomed to his presence in just twenty minutes. It baffled her. She knew that if anything were to threaten to take him away again, she would die protecting him. And if she failed and survived, she wouldn't make it this time. She wouldn't be able to handle losing him again.

Over the months that Hope had been gone, Lightning had had a lot of time to think about Hope as a person, as a friend, and as the man laying before her. As she watched his sleeping form, she couldn't contain the swarm of words from Nivien, Sazh and sadly even Cass, that buzzed in her mind. Yes, she was actually listening to Cass. Beginning to consider their words, Lightning crossed her arms and allowed herself to think about her and Hope.

Maybe there was something more forming between the two? Maybe that innocent bond they'd had years ago was flourishing into something else? She couldn't explain the feelings she had felt towards him. How she always wanted to protect him. How the distance between them seemed so unbearable while he was gone. Sazh had been right. She was completely torn up after losing him. She had felt utterly broken. She'd been too embarrassed, ashamed and in denial to admit it at the time but he had been right. The only other times she remembered that feeling was when she'd lost her parents and when she'd almost lost her sister.

Something... something Lightning couldn't quite explain drew her to Hope. She could deny it all she wanted to everyone else but it was useless to lie to herself any longer. _I guess... there's a possibility... a strong possibility... that I... I have feelings for you too._ The admission, silent and kept as it was, caused her to stand, her heart to beat wildly, and her hands to seek Hope's own. She didn't know what she would do with her feelings, if she would ever tell Hope or anyone else, if she could ever act on them, but there was a possibility. And that possibility made Lightning's head spin.

As her hands gripped his left, she found herself frowning as she felt the loss of his fingernails. She let go, imagining everything he'd been through. It wasn't hard. She'd done it so many times while he was gone, consciously, unknowingly, and in her nightmares. And now, with his wounds right in front of her, it only made it easier.

She shook her head. _It's over now. They can't hurt him. He's here with me. And if they come after him, I'll kill them because... because... because I care for you, Hope. _She began to think of things returning to normal. How he would be after this. How they would continue on. If she really could... If they could...

And it hadn't taken much time before she began doubting herself again. _It's too much. It could never happen. Not because I don't care for him... but I'm not the type of person to love. I don't even... know how to love anymore. _Looking away, she crossed her arms. _Am I even capable? I'm not what he __needs... what he deserves... Even if he does truly... have feelings for me, I just- Besides, he surely hates me now. I abandoned him after all. Everything he could have felt for me is long gone. He could never forgive me just like Serah. _She shut down the thoughts running through her mind. Now was not the time to think of any of that. Self pity helped no one.

She sat down again, waiting. Waiting for Hope to wake. Waiting for Sazh or Rygdea to kick her out, or to try to. Waiting to wake up and feel her heart shatter as she realized it was all a dream. But none of it happened and she found herself falling into a comfortable relaxed state as she continued to wait. To wait for something to happen. Bad or good. Because as much as she hated it, as much as she'd rather suffocate than be patient, it was what she had to do. So that was the soldier's current mission; be patient and wait.

* * *

"Sazh... please... I just-"

"I know Nivien but he's okay. Really he is and he's still unconscious. You can't even speak with him yet." Nivien had come in ten minutes ago ranting and screeching about not being told, about having to hear it from Cass. Sazh had to apologize once again and explain that they were keeping it as quiet as they could until they knew what happened. Cass stood by her side trying to calm her down while giving Sazh a sympathetic look.

"What about my brother? Did Hope say-do they have anything?" Her hands were clasped together tightly in front of her as her foot tapped anxiously.

"No. There's still no news about him or the rest of the team." As Sazh said this, tears started to fall down her cheeks and she bit her lip harshly. Cass rubbed her back slowly as a look of disappointment came to his face. The elder man rubbed the back of his neck. "As soon as Hope wakes up, we'll ask him, but we just have to be patient."

Nivien's eyes squeezed shut as she struggled to keep herself from sobbing. "I still want to see him."

Cass gave Sazh a questioning glance that was answered by the pilot's expression. He knew Lightning would be in there with Hope. There would be no force that could stop her from getting to his side. Over two months with her had taught him well that the extremely protective soldier cared a great deal for his friend. "And you will but... they have a lot of things to check and they need to make sure that he's fine and... I think that", as Cass spoke with Nivien, easing her anxiety, he led her over to a chair away from Sazh, "it would be best-"

"Lightning's in with him... isn't she?" She didn't look at him but only stared at her hands as she sat. A dull look came over her as she wiped the still running tears from her eyes.

He blinked at her question before putting a hand over hers. "Yeah, she's only worried about him and, well you know her, she-"

"She lacks restraint."

Cass's eyes widened at her statement and the anger in her tone. "I have to wait too you know? It's not just you." Their eyes met as she nodded before leaning back in her seat and putting her head on his shoulder.

* * *

Lightning sat there, trying desperately to ignore the small, soft , yet seemingly blaring beep of the monitor beside her. The fact that it was helping Hope, being the only thing saving the offending machine from the wrath of her gunblade and her foul mood stemming from her worry. _Is it really that bad Hope? Why haven't you woken up yet? _A light tap on Hope's door brought her out of her thoughts.

Sazh stepped in and his eyes immediately went to Hope. "How's he doing?"

The soldier blew out a sigh and tightened her grip on her gunblade that laid across her lap, previously being polished in her 'patient' wait. "He's... the same. At least from what I can tell." She glanced at Sazh who stood uneasy. "How's the woman?"

Shaking his head, Sazh looked at Lightning with worry in his eyes that made the young woman curious. Sazh didn't know the girl so why was he so concerned? "She's still in surgery. It looks like... well seems she'll be okay but..." The man trailed off as he noticed the loss of fabric over Hope's arm. Eying Lightning cautiously, he opened his mouth to ask but she cut him off.

"Yeah, I noticed. I just don't want to believe it." Her grief stricken face held so much worry until she steeled her expression seconds later, gaze diverting from his.

Sazh frowned when her expression turned unreadable. "Why do you do that?"

"What..." Lightning turned to him with a look of dull curiosity.

"Keep everyone out? Stay stoic when you want to scream? When you're depressed or worried or anxious? I saw it Lightning, when you came in the hospital. I saw it in your eyes filled with fear and frustration, in your actions riddled with anxiety and pain, in your tears that were strapped to your eyelids. Why can't you just show that you care about him?" The pinkette looked away which only caused him to clench his teeth. He could feel anger bubbling inside of him. It took everything in him to not yell at her. "Maker Light, what the hell? This kid cares so much for you. Do you know how much it would mean to him if he knew how much _you_ cared? Why do your feelings have to stay locked inside you when you-"

"Stop", Lightning yelled and stood, her furious gaze searing into Sazh's. "You don't know anything." _What do my feelings have to do with anyone else? _

Sazh stepped back pressing his lips together and steadying his breath, calming down. "I'm sorry. That was... completely uncalled for and..."

"Why?" His eyes looked up from their spot on the floor, shame running from them and turning to confusion. "Why do you... care?"

"I-" Recovering from a state of bewilderment, Sazh looked at the soldier with a smile. _You'd think she'd know by now. _He walked over to her and put his hand on Lightning's shoulder. "I care because your family Lightning. I care about your feelings, your thoughts. Ever since our time together as l'Cie, I've considered all of you my family. Of course I care. And you know what? No one cares for you more than this kid right here." His eyes turned to the sleeping teen before them and he felt his chest tighten. "I know he looks to you with so much adoration and amazement. I know that he-" Sazh began to choke on his words as he felt a prickling at his eyes. "You have no idea how much he ached while you were crystal."

Lightning's azure orbs looked to Hope while an intense heaviness hit her heart. She didn't want to hear this. She didn't want to know how Hope had dealt with being forced to lose his new family shortly after losing his mother. She didn't want to know his loneliness. She had had a taste while he was gone that had threatened to break her and that had only been a couple months. _Hope had to endure five years, three until Sazh came back. Then he lost his father and... _Lightning felt herself spiraling. _This is exactly why I don't want to even think-_

"I just don't want to see him suffer when he finally wakes up." Lightning's brows furrowed as she struggled to find his meaning. Sazh smirked knowingly. The girl was sharp, no doubt, but when it came to love and emotions, she needed much guidance. Putting his hands on her shoulders, he turned the soldier toward him. "I know, even if you don't that there's something here." Sazh took her hand, an incredulous expression overtaking her face at the contact, and led it to lay over top Hope's. "Maybe you still need to discover this or process it or whatever but... I want you to know that no matter what reason you come up with for denying your feelings, know that it will never be that he doesn't love you."

A light tinge of pink rose to her cheeks but she kept her eyes behind her bangs. Lightning had had no idea how much Hope had cared for her but it seemed everyone else did. It seemed everyone suspected her own feelings towards him even though she was only just becoming aware. Still she was only hearing about his favoring of her from everyone else and as embarrassing and nerve wracking as it would be, she wanted to know from him. After all, where was the evidence? "How..." She cleared her throat attempting to force her usual confidence to surface. "How do you know."

His amazement at her question and the fact that she had allowed the question to escape from her lips to reach his ears, stayed carefully hidden inside him. He thought hard about it and tried to find the best example that wouldn't risk Hope's dignity and pride. Stepping away from the soldier, he walked to the other side of Hope until he was at the boy's right side. He smiled at the fact that Lightning's hand was still over Hope's and knew that this had to be said.

"Well... although I'm sure Cass and Rygdea could tell you so much more", his smile widened at the growl that broke from her throat after he said Rygdea, "but there was this one time where Alyssa was just frustrated as hell and it was so uncharacteristic of her, so I talked with her." He was chuckling a bit as he spoke. "She said Hope wasn't letting her inside his office and was even giving her some time off. Now to any other person, that would have been a relief and would have had anyone beaming. But this was Alyssa after all. She thoroughly enjoyed working at the Academy, with Hope especially. She was also very concerned for her boss since he worked tirelessly all the time and had never been 'relieved of duty in such a manner' as she put it." Biting his lip, his eyes scanned over Hope. "So I went to check it out. Of course, it being shortly after I awoke, he let me in almost instantly, giving me another one of his eager hugs." He laughed a little grasping the silverette's shoulder as if checking to see that he was really there. Then the seriousness came back to his gaze. "It took a bit of prodding but I got him to tell me what was going on." Smiling at Lightning softly and chuckling at her raised brow, he walked over to the door. "He said he was fine. It was nothing to worry about. I wouldn't hear none of that until he told me the real reason. So he said he was working on a present for you." Her eyes tore from Hope to meet Sazh's. "He said that he and I woke up." The elder man's eyes darkened and he felt his heart clench as he remembered Hope's look of happiness and glee. There was also despair as he knew for sure the reality of the situation; that it could take centuries for her to awaken. "So you could wake up too. And although he never told me what it was, he said he was going to have it ready for you when you woke up." Putting his hand on the doorknob, ready to leave her in quiet contemplation, he turned back briefly. "The look in his eyes Lightning... spoke all the words in the world." Her lips parted as she struggled to contain the storm of feelings hitting her.

"Now I'm gonna go check on Zalera." He left the room as Lightning sat back down, hand now holding onto Hope's with desperation. Lightning didn't know how long she sat there after that, mind lost in a mess of thoughts. All she knew was that she didn't come back to reality until Hope started to stir.

Faintly, Hope could hear the beeping of a monitor beside him. He felt the sheets that enveloped him and the stale air on his face laced with the unpleasant scent of a hospital. _So that's where I am. _His eyes opened to the dimmed lights of his room, his vision still hopelessly blurry. He felt a warmth on his hand and noticed that it was locked in the strong grip of a calloused hand. His emerald gaze met a figure beside him but all he could make out was the pink of their hair. Of course that was all he needed to know that it was surely Lightning. "Light?" His vision cleared after a moment and he smiled at the form before him. He felt so much relief to see her alive and at his side. He missed her so much that he wanted to jump up and envelope her in the biggest hug imaginable, but he remained still taking in every bit of her gorgeous features that marveled him to no end. He finally felt that he was home. But as he stared at her unmoving, seemingly stunned form, guilt rose in him. The memory of his breaking her promise and putting her in danger with Sebastian coming to the forefront of his mind.

Lightning couldn't speak as her eyes bore into his, gaping at him. Once the haziness left him, his expression filled with such delight but he kept silent as well. His utterance of her name sent a pleasant shiver through her. She felt herself fighting back her own delighted smile until he looked almost scared of her.

"I'm sorry Light, I-" He stopped as she flew forward, aggressively holding him in a possessive hug. This rendered Hope completely speechless but he returned the hug nonetheless. It appeared that this would be how it was with the soldier. Any seemingly intimate act, even as simple as a hug, was sudden and surprising, but welcome all the same. Tears began to form in his eyes as he tried to stop the rushing onslaught of emotions. He couldn't let Lightning see him like this.

Little did he know that she was fighting that same overload of feelings. She was only more experienced at hiding them. Even with this experience though, she was still finding it frustratingly hard to restrain her own relief from spilling down her cheeks.

"Maker, I'm so sorry Light."

_I-I'm sorry Hope. I'm the one who broke my promise. I wasn't there to protect you. I didn't even look for you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Don't leave again. Don't ever leave again. _She said none of this of course. Her pride wouldn't allow her to. Instead she tried to convey all she could through her hug. The time they stayed wrapped in a tight and soothing embrace remaining unknown to them as all they cared about in those minutes, was each other.

* * *

Rygdea and Amodar sat beside Hope, waiting for him to speak. It had been a couple hours since he had awoken and it was now time to get to business. He had had his warm welcome from Lightning, Sazh, Rygdea, and the general, but they had to talk about what happened to him. Getting Lightning to leave was no easy task and it took Hope asking her himself, pleading with her more like it, to get her to go. She didn't need to know the gory details of what he went through. He didn't want her to know. He'd managed to keep her knowledge of everything to a minimal and wanted to keep it that way. So now it was just the three of them.

The air in the room became suffocating as he tried to remain calm. Telling them was not going to be easy. Although he was on some heavy medication, just looking at his woulds brought back the pain, the memories. Hell, just closing his eyes brought it back.

"Hope?"

Hope's eyes met Rygdea's as he fought to steady his quaking limbs. "I'm all right", he assured.

Amodar nodded. "Okay well, first... how did they abduct you? They got you in the Harleen cemetery correct?"

Shifting, he tensed, hoping to find a calm detachment from his emotions as his mentor always could, but it was unbearably hard. "Her name was Castea... their leader. She came out first while I... was at my father's grave. They caught me completely off guard especially as others came out surrounding me. I t-tried to fight back but they... they were too strong..." Shame took him as his eyes met the bed. All this time, all the training and fighting, and he still couldn't protect himself. Lightning knew it. She still felt the need to protect him all the damn time. He hated to think of what Rygdea thought, his other mentor that taught him how to use a gunblade when Lightning, who he would have preferred to teach him, had been unavailable. And he _had_ to tell him everything.

"And what did they look like", was Amodar's next question.

"She's middle aged. She had short blonde hair with... intense gray eyes. Her hair was always slicked back and she wore a white cloak. Those that followed her were all-all that I saw anyway were big burly men with black cloaks."

Amodar nodded again and Rygdea sat unmoving. His face was devoid of emotion but his jaw was locked tight and his hands were balled into fists. The general continued. "What happened next?"

Hope heaved a heavy sigh, his eyes roving the room. "I woke up strapped to a stone table." His shaky voice faltered but he carried on, not wanting to stop for he didn't know if he could continue once he did. "It was a musty, old, giant, stone room with other tables like mine beside me. I didn't find out until later but I was in the fourth floor of the eighth Ark. Anyway... when I came over my shock of the situation, I found that there was a woman in there with me. Overtime we got to know each other. She told me of the weeks she had spent there with Yeul. She had been her guardian and felt... that she had failed her." Hope thought back to his time in there with Zalera and remembered that, even before he knew her, he felt comforted by her. Even in just the fact that he was not alone. "We formed a bond and tried to help each other when we could."

When Hope stopped, Amodar sighed. He really didn't want to ask his next question but he knew his fellow leader felt even more apprehension toward it. "What did they do to you Hope?"

Clenching his teeth, he took a deep breath for what had to have been the billionth time. "They told me it was to bring back my brand. T-t-that I-I was the only one who could... find the crys... crystals and b-bring back the Maker. That that was what they wanted." Hope ran a hand through his mussed up locks and tugged at it. "They tortured Zalera to get the truth from Yeul. They tortured Yeul to get the crystal locations from her. And they... to me so my brand would come back. All to bring the damn Maker back."

Hope had spoken so fast it had almost been hard to hear and grasp, but Rygdea had. He was now seething with rage that he projected into his fists. They clenched so tightly that his knuckles turned a ghastly white.

Amodar looked deep into the young man's eyes, silently apologizing for having to push and pry. "What did they do?"

"They put Zalera through so much pain. I saw and heard so much-"

"What did they do to you, Hope?"

It was a long while before he spoke. He looked so withdrawn after the minutes ticked by that it scared Rygdea to no end. He hadn't seen that look on the boy in a long time. His dulled voice came a few seconds before Rygdea was about to call out for him.

"I... Sebastian, one of the biggest, burliest of them all was Castea's right hand. He tortured me."

The calvery leader's gaze found the floor as he restrained himself.

"He told me at first that he had battled Light. That the scars around his wrists and neck were from her. He was a l'Cie like the rest of them, a powerful one at that, so it was understandable that he had healed her wounds on him. He said he'd killed her though." Hope's voice held such grief, such anger, and he knew he was failing to hold his emotions back. "He also told me that he was the one who had personally tortured Yeul and sent her to us. Even healed some of her wounds to assure that she would make it."

Amodar tensed. "What happened to _you, _Hope?"

"I'm getting there", he snapped. But he soon apologized before carrying on. "Most of the time I was on that table." The young director looked at his wrists, sickened by the sight. "But when I wasn't I was in a small cell. It had a mattress and a toilet. They would slide in a tray of food through a slit in the door." He bit his lip as he knew what he had to say next. He slid his hand over his face, tears now slowly falling. "He... would cut me... and s-stab me... a-a-and burn-and shock m-me... I spent most of my time choking on blood and the rest fighting to stay sane throughout the onslaught of attacks and I-" He gasped, squeezing his eyes shut at his recollection. "And when I wasn't being... even sometimes while I was... she-Zalera she..." Hope struggled to breathe as the tears fell faster. Rygdea stood and walked over to the shaking young man before sitting beside him and taking him into an embrace. "I could hear her screams and cries. I could hear it all. There was no... I soon f-found myself not sleeping until my near dead body forced me to. I was actually..." He stopped himself there, not wanting them to know the fact that he had actually pled for death.

Amodar waited for Hope to calm down and for Rygdea to peel himself away before moving on. "And how did you escape? How did you get here?"

Hope wordlessly held up his arm, showing off his brand. The moment he'd seen that the fabric no longer clung to his skin and knew that Lightning had seen, he thought he'd almost died. But she had put her hand gently over the terrible tattoo and told him they would figure it out. Those words, and the small smile she'd given him, caused his heart to soar. The main reason he'd hidden it in the first place was so he could tell Lightning himself. Now, seeing as how she didn't reject him for his l'Cie status in any way and told him she would help, he felt no need to hide it. "Alexander came. He and I, as soon as I found my magic again... some semblance of it anyways... we fought our way to Zalera, got h-her out and got out of the Ark entirely. Who we hadn't killed before, certainly died when the Ark completely came down and caved in. W-we fought through the monsters of Pulse until we fought against a Behemoth King. Then Zalera took a heavy hit and I-" He struggled to keep his new found composure. "I could only heal some of it, my magic being weak and unsteady, so I carried her here."

"Okay." Amodar wrote a few more notes down as he nodded yet again. " And-"

"For Maker's sake will you let up already?" Rygdea was losing his patience and knew Hope couldn't take much more. He wasn't even sure he himself could.

"You know full well that I have one more question to ask." His tone held sympathy and a bit of frustration. It was very evident he didn't like asking the questions anymore than they liked hearing them and answering them. "Were you and Zalera the only ones you knew of held captive in the Ark?"

Hope's brows knitted together at the question. "Yes...? Why?"

"There was no one else?"

"Why are you..." His eyes widened. "Who else got-"

Rydea sighed. "A search team went missing shortly after you were taken. Maqui was there and was the sole survivor left. He said it was a buncha l'Cie who didn't want you found. They threatened to kill everyone on the team if we didn't..."

"Stop looking for me... was there anyon-"

"Olly and Gadot were among those taken", was Rygdea's grave reply.

Hope laid back as shock set in. He hadn't known. He hadn't known at all and now the only people who knew the location of the missing search team and his friends were dead. How were they going to find them now?

* * *

Hildough left the room shortly before Cass entered, a wide grin plastered to his face. "So the stiff ambassador gets to see you before your best friend. Thanks bunches Hope." They hugged and he chuckled at the apologetic aura that radiated from his companion. He could already hear the multiple sorrys coming but Cass wouldn't let them escape. "Save it dude, I'm glad you're all right."

_ "_No Cass... I..." Hope began nervously twisting his loosening bandage on his arm. "You took over for me and from what I hear..." He glanced at Cass with a small, sad smile. "You did rather well. I wanted to thank you for that and say..."

Cass rolled his eyes. "If this is gonna be one of those mushy little bromance moments then..." The look he received from Hope was all the answer he needed. "Right, I forgot. It's you." He nudged Hope with his elbow and they chuckled.

"No, I'm just really sorry for freezing you out and... I was just concerned about you. I didn't know what to do and with work and my... dad I just-"

"I get it. And really don't worry about it."

Although Cass held a pretty good poker face, one that could parry Lightning's fairly, Hope knew him too well. He could see just how much he had hurt him and wasn't sure if their friendship could ever return to it's same state again.

As a small silence drifted over the room Cass's everlasting smirk turned somber. "Well since we're..." He cleared his throat and walked away a few steps, staring at the wall before him. He didn't know how to address the elephant in the room or if he even should. Hope had surely heard his share of apologies and wouldn't need another look filled with pity and sympathy. He most certainly didn't need another person reminding him of his time away. _Especially from me. If only he knew... _Guilt seeped into him which was soon overcome by rage, but he kept it all back, careful to hide it from his 'best friend'. "Look I'm gonna get." He turned to Hope with a wave, his cocky grin back in place. "I'm sure Lightning is just dying to get back in here huh?" Winking at him, Cass left the room.

"Speak of the devil." Cass walked out and right in front of him, leaning against the wall, was a tense Lightning. "I knew you wouldn't be far but-" His words ceased the moment he received a stern glare from the soldier. She seemed to perk up as her head turned to the right. Moments later, Nivien came around the corner. The teen sighed and walked over to her, hoping to give her a little talk before she reached her destination. He stepped in front of her with a hand out and was met with a look of confusion and impatience. "Go easy on him, Nivien."

After his words, she looked incredulous. "What-"

"I know you want to find your brother but Hope doesn't know where he is. And I know you're angry at him for whatever happened between you two," The lieutenant's gaze drifted over to Lightning, who all though seemed to be minding her own business, was easily within earshot. Nivien tried to step around Cass but he stepped before her again. "...or angry for whatever reason... but he is in pretty bad shape." Nivien's eyes shot back to Cass. Her eyes were watery but she held her tears locked behind her lids for she swore she wouldn't cry again that day. "You can just look at him and tell they put him through hell. So, I'm just asking that you let everything go for now and just be there for him."

Nivien was about to ask him how bad it was. Just what they had put him through exactly. But he carried on.

Cass's gaze turned to the floor and he shifted. "You know, like you used to." With that, he left. He sped away hoping to leave before the conversation turned awkward.

Nivien watched him walk away, dreading the look she'd receive from the sergeant when she turned around. But what was she so afraid of? She shouldn't be afraid of or ashamed to be around Lightning. She was higher in rank, older, more experienced, and had been involved with Hope in a way the pinkette had never been. At least to her knowledge. With her head held high, she turned around to face the woman who had been causing her such grief. Only to see that Lightning's eyes were closed, seemingly relaxed. As if the imposing guard had fallen asleep. But Nivien knew better. The sergeant's body was stiff, tense, and ready to strike at any moment. Lightning was probably trying to avoid confrontation with her as much as she was. The lieutenant sighed before walking over to Hope's door and going in.

Lightning opened her eyes as soon as the women had gone into Hope's room. She was still processing Nivien's and Cass's small exchange in the hallway moments before. She had been concerned about the lieutenant stressing Hope about her brother but it hadn't occurred to her that even without the worry for a missing Olly, things would still be tense between the two for their previous relationship. Which of course Lightning didn't want to think about at all, but it was unavoidable. She felt a curious desire to go over to Hope's door and listen to their conversation. She shook her head and rubbed her forehead in frustration. _What the hell? _She would never do that. Would she? No, she had more respect for Hope than that and would never dream of committing such an invasion of privacy toward him. And she didn't understand why she'd wanted to. She hadn't when Cass was in there or Hildough or the remaining members of the NORA gang. Yes, she had when Rygdea and Amodar were but that was because she had wanted to find out what Hope had been through. Him keeping that from her had been, and still was, tearing her apart. But she couldn't believe the possessiveness she suddenly felt for the young man. She had always been protective but... this was just... odd and made Lightning feel uneasy.

Incoming footsteps snapped Lightning out of her thoughts and brought her eyes toward their owner. It was Rygdea who had on a wide smile causing Lightning to raise a brow.

"Just came to give Hope the news. Zalera's awake and doing better."

Then there was her. Lightning was unsure of what to think of the woman everyone seemed so concerned about. She didn't know much about her and really, she was a bit suspicious of her. But apparently she'd helped Hope out in some huge ways, so she imagined that she should be grateful toward her. "Has she said anything about the... captivity." Lightning tightened her grip around her arms. She was getting tired of the weakness in her voice every time she spoke about Hope's time away.

Rygdea scratched the back of his neck. "Well at first she was a tad freaked out and wanted to know where Hope was. I guess they became quite dependent upon each other."

_No kidding. That was like the third thing Hope said after he woke up. 'Where's Zalera?'_

"But after we explained that he was fine and was recovering, she zipped up her trap sayin' she wouldn't say anythin' until she spoke to him. Man, you'd think the woman's almost as stubborn as you." He chuckled nervously at her raised brow. "I said almost."

A loud crash sounded from around the corner following the loud, demanding voice that sounded slightly Pulsian. "I don't care. You better get the hell outta my way before I beat your ass."

"Ah, hell. I told her to stay put."

As soon as Rygdea said that, a young woman came into view in a hospital gown on shaky legs. She had long, waist length green hair threaded with multicolored beads. Her eyes were about as green as her hair and almost matched the vivid color of Hope's. An abundance of freckles were scattered across her nose and cheekbones. The soldier was curious though by the fact that the woman didn't seem to have a third of the injuries her friend had. A guard walked beside her, frustration written on his face as he attempted to stop the determined woman. A doctor was on her other side pushing a wheelchair which the warrior looked at with distaste.

Rygdea ran toward her, his hand threading through his hair in stress. "What on Pulse are you-"

"Don't even try it", she yelled with a serious ferocity that made Lightning's eyebrows raise in surprise. "I'm not some invalid you ass hole. I don't need to lay bedridden like some worthless victim and I most certainly am not being carted around in a damn wheelchair." She pushed her way through the men blocking her path towards Hope's room, wincing at the pain in her side.

"You're going to rip open your stitches", yelled the doctor worriedly as he left the wheelchair abandoned behind him.

Lightning bit her lip as she felt her chest tighten a bit. The woman reminded her of Fang and she almost instantly took a liking toward Zalera. A feat that only the now crystal Pulsian had been able to accomplish. "Why don't you all get out of her way. It's obvious she has a place to be and all your doing is making her trek worse and more laborious", spoke Lightning as the group drew near.

They all stopped, even the emerald haired woman. She smirked in response and straightened herself up before walking in Lightning's direction. She soon stood before the soldier looking her up and down.

Lightning did the same and noticed not only how tall the Pulsian was, being probably at least an inch above Hope's new astonishing height, but she was very well toned and muscular. She certainly had the body, stance and will of a warrior.

"Well, you must be the great Lightning Farron." She bowed her head to the younger woman grinning at the furrowed brow she received. "You couldn't have thought that in spending months with the kid, I wouldn't have heard all about you." Lightning frowned and shifted in response. "Thanks for that by the way. They are impossible." She turned and went into Hope's room.

Rygdea huffed and gave the door a glare as if Zalera were still standing there. Lightning held back a laugh. "I like her already."

The man gave her an inquiring look in return but she said nothing further. "Well anyway..." He sighed. "Amodar wants to speak with you. We'll be having a meeting in the kid's room shortly but he wanted to see you about something beforehand." A conflicted gaze came over the young woman's features. It was subtle but Rygdea knew just what it was about. She was trying to decide between her duty to Hope and her duty to Amodar. "Don't worry girl, it won't take long and I'll be here to guard him." A dubious look came over her before a glare set in with a growl. She stomped away muttering something about the use of the word girl. This only caused the man to guffaw at her retreating form.

* * *

Lightning found the man in the waiting room not too far away. Although she hadn't wanted to leave Hope's side for anything, she had wanted to speak with Amodar. Since Hope had returned, she imagined that he would soon be going back to work and she wondered if she would still be kept on guard duty. Obviously since he had had guards before this, he would have them now. But since the vicious l'Cie were dead, as she had heard, she was anxious to know if her presence was still needed at the director's side.

That was another thing that had occupied her mind as she had been kept out of Hope's room. She had reflected on Hope's role; being devoted to his job and his duty. This had led her to think about her own role, her own duty, which until Hope had gone missing, had been a mystery to her. Without Serah to protect, without a life mission to accomplish, she had felt purposeless. But now she knew. Lightning finally found her purpose in this new world. She would be devoted to him. She would now protect him with all she had.

Determination settled inside her as she approached Amodar. "Sir." She stood and saluted in greeting.

"At ease, sergeant", he said chuckling. He was about to speak again but took note of the seriousness of Lightning's face. "Something up, Farron?"

"Well sir, I was just wondering if I..." She trailed off as her eyes met the floor.

But the general had a suspicion as to what she wanted to ask and it was the reason he had sent for her in the first place. "You would like to remain in your position as the director's personal guard?" Shock came over Lightning at his intuition and he saw it instantly. "I think it's a wonderful idea and I have no qualms. I was about to suggest it myself really. But you'll have to check with Estheim before it's official, though I can't imagine the young man having a problem with it." He smiled as the soldier before him slowly recovered and thanked him. "Of course, now we have a meeting to get to. Let's get going."

* * *

The room was quiet for the first few minutes. An uncomfortable and almost unnerving silence surrounded them, choking Hope as he tried to find a way to get the meeting going and over with. They were all in his hospital room, sitting and standing around. There was him, Sazh, Lightning, Amodar, Rygdea, Hildough and Zalera. They all had a purpose there and had their own part in the impending conversation. What each of their roles were, Hope was unsure. But he was glad to have his friends and family with him nonetheless.

"Well", started Rygdea. "I know we all wanna make this quick so our director here can get some much deserved rest."

"Right." Amodar sat forward in his chair. "The first topic I suggest we speak about, is the future of the crystal mission." The faces of those around him all darkened. "I know we all have a lot invested in this but I'm concerned about the potential risks and-"

"If I may, General", interjected Hope. He sat up with a grim look on his face. "I think..." He cleared his throat and was careful to keep his gaze from all others in the room. "I know that this whole mission was my idea and I was completely set to do all I could to make sure that it was successful, but I don't think that it is wise to continue it."

Sazh looked up and tried to find Hope's eyes with his but was unsuccessful. "But Hope, this could-"

Hope sighed. He knew Sazh would have been made aware, in his absence, that the mission, if successful, could wake his son. And it was one of the reasons he'd dreaded having this conversation. "I'm sorry Sazh, but I won't do it." The young man crossed his arms and stood his ground.

Amodar smiled softly. "I agree. Why don't you explain your reasoning though, Director."

Hope swallowed thickly. "All of this apparently, if... Castea was correct, depends on me and my ability to control my powers. Say I was able to find the crystals and successfully put them together. Say that all of Castea's group really died in that cave and none of them came after me or the crystal, which none of us can be sure about. Say that it was safe from all opposing forces. What if I am not able to control the crystal's power. I am supposedly the only one and-" Hope's emerald eyes drifted over to Zalera's matching ones filled with concern and sympathy. "and the destined one who can bring back the Maker. I could potentially kill off everyone on the planet and not even mean to." Hope's internal distress on the issue began to leak into his voice.

Lightning felt her heart sink. The prospect of having to wait for her sister to wake becoming reality. But she understood. She understood every bit of Hope's doubts and nervousness and she could only agree with him. She was about to put a hand on his shoulder or give him some form of reassuring, soothing gesture, but Zalera beat her to it as she put her hand over his. Lightning furrowed her brow at the contact and the ease that seemed to fall over Hope in it's wake, but said nothing.

Zalera raised her head. "I know you all don't know me and I know it may not be easy to trust me, but know that Hope has every right to fear the crystal's power. I doubt, even though I know of Hope's great strength with magic, I doubt he could control it. Yeul had seen many futures in her visions and many, very prominent, very real ones, were of Hope ending all life on this planet and bringing back Buinivelze. It would be idiotic and dangerous to tempt fate by going after the crystal shards."

Hope smiled and squeezed Zalera's hand. He had been surprised by the strength and steadiness of her words as she'd spoken of Yeul. It couldn't have been easy on her. He was very proud and glad that he had some back-up.

Rygdea nodded. "So do we all agree?"

Everyone in the room soon nodded in confirmation. Even Sazh, though he didn't appear completely accepting of it.

Hildough wrote down a few notes in his notebook before turning to Amodar and saying, "Sir, the last bit?"

"Yes, okay." Amodar glanced at Hope's wrist. "We only have one more thing pressing to discuss. That brand of yours, Hope and your new l'Cie status."

Hope's appeased gaze turned solemn as it dropped to his left forearm. "What... What about it?"

Rygdea stood and put his hands on his hips. "We think you should keep it hidden."

The young man's head shot up. "No way."

His obstinate stance was shocking to the rest of those in the room. They all thought for sure that it was the best option, and thought Hope would agree.

Lightning though was the first to ask about it. "Why Hope? It would keep you safe and... it's no one's business but ours what happened to you whe-"

"No Light." All eyes went to him. It was rare when Hope would disagree with Lightning of all people, but he seemed set in his decision. "I don't want to keep secrets from the public. We all know how that goes. We've all been victims of it as well. I will not keep this from them. I have a duty to my people and I will not lie to them." He expected the first one to yell at him to be Lightning. And she was furious. It seemed to her that all he wanted was to put himself in danger. But no. It was Rygdea who was ready to kick his ass.

"You can't be serious?" Hope's stunned and slightly scared eyes darted toward the fuming man. "Do you know what this could do? How many people are still afraid of l'Cie? Hell there's a whole city of people that didn't want to even associate with the families of previous l'Cie. You don't think they might take up arms and come gunning for you, Hope?" He sighed and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "I won't let you do this. I swore to your father that I'd watch over you and this is just suicide. One assassination attempt wasn't enough for you?"

Hope didn't dare bring up the attempts Castea had mentioned and neither did Zalera.

At that, Amodar stood. "I think that's enough, Rygdea."

But he kept going. "I can't even. How many more people do you want to lose?"

Amodar put his hand around the distraught man's arm. "Rygdea, stop." The calvary leader shook him off.

"What if someone came after you again, huh? What if you survived yet again because of more people risking their lives. What if it were more guards or Nivien or Sazh or me or... hell even Lightning? What would you do then, I-" He stopped abruptly as Lightning stepped forward and swiftly kicked him in the gut.

"You're not helping anyone", she yelled. She glared down at the man now on the floor taking large gulps of breath. Glancing in Hope's direction, she saw the lost, depressed expression that had captured his previously determined face. It made her ache seeing him in that state.

Rygdea growled. "Fine." He stood and yelled in her face. A dangerous move as you can imagine. "You talk some sense into the kid then. I don't know how you see it but to me, it looks like he's gonna get himself killed. I won't stand for it." He left the room, still filled with rage. Amodar saluted as he followed his irritated associate.

Hildough stopped mid-step and turned to Hope. "I am glad you are back my friend." Hope, snapping out of his slump, smiled back. "I respect your decision and wish you the best. Stay safe, Director."

After Hildough left, Sazh sighed. "I disagree but I know you won't budge on this." He left as well, trying to make peace with the fact that the crystal mission was shut down.

This left Zalera and Lightning on opposite sides of a flustered and now unsure Hope. "Zalera?" She looked down and caught Hope's gaze. "Could you give us some time to talk?"

Zalera smiled and nodded. "I should probably get some rest after all. Who knows what I've done to myself getting over here but I'm glad you're okay." She patted his hand. "And thank you. Thank you for rescuing me time and time again. You have no idea how much you've done for me." After mussing up his hair, as many did in an affectionate gesture, she left the room.

Leaving the wall, Lightning sat beside Hope. The guilt settled in again. He wanted to leave the brand conversation but what did that leave him with? The string of apologies he had yet to give her? How could he convey to her how impossibly sorry and regretful he was at disobeying her? At leaving her? At putting her in danger? "I'm so sorry, Light."

Knowing that he was avoiding the previous topic and falling into their old one, Lightning sighed. "No Hope. I'm sorry." She looked up briefly to meet his confused gaze, before her eyes turned to her folded hands resting on her knees. "I should have been there and I should have.. protected you."

"Light, you have to know that it wasn't your fault." He could see the grief and despair inside her. He couldn't believe that she blamed herself for his mistake.

"I left-"

"Let me finish." Hope sat up, putting his hands over hers, effectively bringing her eyes to his. "_I_ left. I _chose_ to leave with no protection, without notifying anyone. It was _my_ fault. And mine alone."

Her gaze then quickly turned from apologetic to hurt. "Why did you do it Hope? You promised me that you would stay." A bit of anger flashed within her but she tried to stomp it out.

"I'm sorry. I left because... b-because I-" This time, it was his eyes that fell away.

But Lightning was not about to let it drop and the anger grew. "Because what? What was so damn important that you risked your life again?"

Not bringing his eyes up, Hope tightened his grip on her hands. "I found a letter from my father."

Lightning gasped and the growing fury suddenly went out. As if it had never been there. That was definitely not an answer she was anticipating. "I-"

"I found it and read it. It was a letter he... wrote me in case... he died." His speech was broken but understandable. "I felt that I just had to see him... but-Maker I'm so sorry Light!" A few tears slipped through and he hated himself for crying in front of Lightning of all people. "I remembered my promise to you and I-I made a conscious decision to break it. I can't even tell you how so-"

"I understand, Hope."

Her calm and even tone brought Hope's tears to an immediate halt. "How could you, I-"

"You missed your father and I know that grief makes you do..." She gave him a stern look but held a slight smile. "...stupid things. I forgive you but... know that I'm not leaving your side again."

"What?"

"As I'm sure you've heard, I was appointed the director's, Cass's, personal guard in your... absence."

Hope smirked. "And I'm sure that was a bit of a challenge. Being around Cass all the time."

Lightning scowled at him but he kept his grin in place until her glare faltered and she turned her gaze to the wall. "I spoke with Amodar and, with your permission, I will stay on as your guard. I will be there to protect you."

And now, it was Hope's expression that faltered. "Why do you want to?"

"What?"

"Why do you feel like it's your job to protect me?" He pulled his hands from hers. "You've made it clear that I'm not a child. I'm not weak. I have plenty of others set to protect me. So why?"

"Because I have to." She made to stand but stopped. Leaving his side was the exact opposite of what she wanted to do. Even if the conversation got awkward or unbearable... she would stay. "I don't have anyone else. Serah was all I had. The one thing I had to do was protect her, fight for her... and now... All I have is you." Her cerulean orbs found his shocked green. "I will not lose you. I... I care about you far too much." He didn't say anything and it unnerved her. The silence that soon hung over them strangled her and she wanted it to end. "I will protect you. I promise you I'll protect you at any cost."

Hope gave her a sweet smile accompanied by watery eyes before another look of determination came over him. "You don't have to promise me that, Light. I don't want you to promise me that. Because any cost would include your life and that's a cost I could never live with."

Lightning smiled at him, a very wide smile that only diminished with time, which surprised both of them. They both fell into a state of ease and his hands found hers yet again. They stayed like that, in a companionable silence until Hope fell asleep. Lightning then disentangled her hands from his grip, somewhat sadly and sat back, once again astonished by how relaxed just having him beside her made her.

As she sat, waiting for sleep to take her, she took out Hope's bandana that never left her side. She felt a tad bitter, for she knew she would have to return it soon. Once again, she traced the patterns until she dozed off, one last thing going through her mind. _I won't let anything take you away again. I swear it._


	13. Resilience

**A/N: This chapter took me much longer than it should have and I apologize. On the flip side, I'm pretty much already half way into the next one and it should be up fairly soon. **

**Reviewers: I'm sorry. I know that month long break before chapter twelve was a bit much but I don't intend to let that happen anytime soon. Rest assured. I'm very glad you guys enjoyed the reunion and more fluff is coming. And a warm welcome to my new french reader/reviewer. Very happy to hear you're liking the story so much. Again, all you guys make my day with your reviews.**

**This chapter kind of feels like a filler chapter but it's necessary. I'm very excited for chapter fourteen though. The part I'm working on currently is quite fluffy and sweet but... I don't want to reveal too much. You'll just have to wait.**

**Enjoy and review :)**

* * *

Drawing in a deep breath, Hope focused all of his energy, all of his being, into his magic. He held his hand shakily over his last injury, one of the gashes on his arm, until he felt the warm caress of his healing powers take all remnants of his wound away. Smiling at the sight of his now bare skin, Hope let out a sigh of contentment. _I guess having my brand back isn't all that bad-_

"You really shouldn't do that you know?" Lightning stood before him now and realized, with his startled look before her, that he mustn't have noticed her enter. "You need to be careful. You have to watch your strength."

Her eyes held such worry and fear. She came over to Hope and pressed the back of her hand against his forehead to make sure his previous fever had dissipated. This caused the young man to roll his eyes. Gently, he took her hand from his head and squeezed it. "I'm fine, Light. Don't worry about it. It's only a few healing spells. And look..." He gestured to his arm and neck. "... all gone. Everything's all healed. No more injuries." Smiling brightly, he hoped to convey to her that all was well.

_Yeah, all physical injuries..._ She had to admit, he was looking healthier. Even without his unnatural healing, he seemed to be getting better, though it had only been three days. But even so, she could tell that there was a lot of lasting damage. Her silent observations told her as much. The way silence would carry his mind into a place that caused his body to shudder. How his eyes looked off into the distance as if the world were to shatter in an instant. How sometimes a nurse's, a friend's or even her own touch would cause him to jump, a bone chilling fear overcoming him for the smallest of moments. "Just don't overdo it. I still don't agree with you being discharged so soon." Lightning frowned at the thought. Yes, the soldier thoroughly hated hospitals, but if anything were to go wrong it was the best place for Hope to be. Other than at her side of course.

Shaking his head, he got out of bed on wobbly legs. The last of his medication was leaving him a bit drowsy and his limbs a tad numb. Lightning, like her self-appointed namesake, was by his side to keep him steady. "Everything's okay, Light. I've healed all of my injuries so there's nothing that they can help me with anymore. Me lying here is only sucking up space, time and money. I will not burden these people any longer." Sliding out of her grasp, he went over to retrieve his bag of clothes. He sighed as he gripped the handle. "Are you sure about this personal guard thing?" Hope stayed with his back turned toward her, eyes finding a new interest in the fraying handle in his hands. He hoped the question didn't hurt her, he just didn't want her in danger because of him.

She was grateful that he remained facing away. His question had hurt her and that along with confusion had surely been evident on her face. Wiping the vulnerable expression away, she walked up to him and turned him around by the shoulder. "Of course I am. I thought..." She growled. Weakness. That was all she'd been showing in the past few days and she was getting sick of it. "I thought of all people you would want-"

"Of course I do", interrupted Hope, dropping his bag and putting his hands on her shoulders. "I just..." Biting his lip, he wasn't sure how to phrase it. "I don't want to burden you either." His eyes searched her, finding nothing. After a few moments of silence, he was sure he had offended her in some way. He retreated to the bathroom with his bag in hand as he saw that she wasn't going to reply.

Lightning's stoicism stayed out of pure will. It defied all emotions at that moment. _I don't want to burden you... _It was something Serah had once told her years ago. Something that had made the elder sister's heart clench and now the words were even more painful. _A burden Hope? That's what you think you are? _And she had stood there and let him think it. She put her palm to her forehead, getting increasingly tired of disappointing herself and Hope. _See! I'm terrible at this. Helping people, comforting people, loving people- Wait... what?_

Hope stepped out in his usual uniform. He stood confused before Lightning. She was in the same spot he left her in and seemed to be completely lost in thought, an uncharacteristic pained expression on her.

Lightning noticed a split second before he reached out for her, that he had rejoined her in his room. She shook her head. "Hope... Hope you're not a burden." She glanced at him tentatively before turning away and grabbing her holstered gunblade from it's previous temporary home beside Hope's bed. "Don't ever say something like that again", Lightning demanded.

Hope's brow furrowed at his friend's stern and seemingly angry tone. "I want you safe. Being around me-"

"One: telling someone who wants to protect you, that being around you is dangerous, will only make them want to stay near you and protect you more." He smiled sheepishly and chuckled, hand rubbing the back of his neck. "Two: My job is unsafe. If I weren't guarding you, I'd be off fighting monster after monster, being the soldier I am. Guarding you is probably going to be quite boring in comparison." A small smile tugged at her lips as she neared him. His uneasiness was slowly fading and she was proud of herself for being the one to relieve him of it. As she continued, she put her hand gently on his arm. "Three: I want you safe too. Don't think of this as a job for me. This is is me being there for someone I care deeply for."

A stunned look overcame him as he looked to his mentor in awe. It wasn't like her to say such emotionally revealing things and she had been doing it so often lately. It seemed that even with his time away from her, she was still coming out of her shell, and Hope loved it. "Okay. I won't say another word about it." He stepped away to collect some last things.

As she watched him walk away, she noticed his newly attained attire. "Don't think you're going back to work today." She watched his shoulders slump and heard a sigh escape from him.

"Compromise?" He turned his face so he could see her from the corner of his eye. Seeing Lightning in a rigid stance with her arms crossed was no surprise. He knew what her answer would be and he knew he wouldn't be up to battle her on it today.

"Not a chance, Estheim", she answered, slight amusement in her tone. Things were already reaching normalcy and she liked it. However, whenever there was pleasantness, horrible events soon followed.

Hope turned around, stuffing the last of his things in his bag and grinned at her. "That's Director Estheim to you, Sergeant."

Lightning frowned and flicked him on the forehead as he neared. He laughed, the sweet sound flooding her ears. _Goddess, I missed this. _They walked out of the room but as Lightning went to walk down the hall, she felt an arm wrap around her waist and direct her down a different path. Seeing Hope as the owner of the invading appendage, the soldier relaxed somewhat but was ready to hiss at him. If someone hadn't interrupted of course.

"Hiding your girl from me Director?" The two turned to see a man walking towards them, a wide smirk on his face. He was about Lightning's height and wore an overly expensive blue suit with a few gold rings on his left hand. His rust colored hair was slicked back, giving him a very greasy look.

Hope clicked his tongue as his arm left Lightning's waist. "No, just trying to save your face from its impending pain."

The man laughed softly. "Is that a threat my dear friend? Your words wound me."

Lightning's brow raised. It was easy to see that for as friendly as the man wanted to be perceived, he was definitely not friends with Hope. Even if Hope had been able to hide his agitation with the man, Lightning could see the stranger's hostility in his eyes.

"Oh no, not a threat. A warning." Hope glanced in Lightning's direction. He knew the guy and knew it was only a matter of time before he hit on her. Which also meant it was only a matter of time before he was seeing stars.

The man followed the director's eyes toward the soldier beside him. "And who is this gorgeous vision?" He went for her hand which slid out of his grasp almost as quick as he had taken it, causing Hope to grin.

"Sergeant Lightning Farron", declared Lightning. "And you are?"

Before the irritating man could answer, Hildough came around the corner and into view. "Ah, there you are Waynes. Slipped right out of my sight." Hildough came up beside the man seeming a bit disgruntled. "Terribly sorry, Director. It is good to see you doing well and I imagine you would like to continue on your way," he began pulling Waynes back to where they came, "so we will just be going now."

Smiling, Waynes pulled out of his grip. "But we were having such a pleasant conversation. And I just met the most beautiful young woman."

Lightning crossed her arms and took a small step back from the man as he came closer. She wanted to knock his lights out, but felt that the action would be a tad excessive. That and the fact that Hope was keeping her strangely calm with his hand currently at the small of her back, rubbing small circles into it.

Hildough stepped a bit in front of the man invading Lightning's personal space. "We should be going. You have a plane to cat-"

"Yes. Yes of course." Waynes sighed. "It was great, as always, to see you Director." They shook hands, Hope giving him a small forced smile. "And it was simply wondrous to make your acquaintance Miss Farron." He held out his hand before her which she looked at with disgust.

She was ready to bark at the man but Hope stepped in seeing her ready to attack. "It's Sergeant Farron and I'm sure it was."

Waynes raised a brow as he retracted his hand, soon following after Hildough.

Letting out a relieved sigh, Hope turned to Lightning. "Well that was... what?" She didn't look pleased.

"I don't need you stepping in to handle things for me." More than a little peeved, she grabbed Hope's bag from his hands and continued in their original direction. "And who the hell was that guy?"

Quickly rejoining Lightning's side, he eyed his bag in her hands, wondering if he could reclaim it. The questioning expression he'd given her soon turned downcast by Lightning's tight grip and dismissive glance. "He's the Hildough of Sanctum City... though much slimier as you must've noticed. Alder Waynes is their representative... but he doesn't usually come out here", spoke Hope putting a hand to his chin as a perplexed expression came over him. "It's usually Hildough that goes over there."

* * *

Dornum drove Hope and Lightning to the Estheim residence. It was a short and peacefully quiet ride. At least that would be how it appeared. The quiet had led Hope's thoughts to wander back into his days in the Ark. As he stared out the window, expression completely blank, he heard the faint screaming of Zalera again. The smell of rancid vomit reached his nose causing his throat to dry. He could feel the cold metal of Sebastian's favorite tool slicing into his skin and taste a bitter saltiness as his tears reached his lips. He could see his own blood beginning to leak off of the table and splatter on the stone floor beneath it, before his eyes searched for something-anything that could take his mind off of the blade that was tearing through his abdomen.

Lightning watched him like a hawk. She knew there was something terrible going on inside that head of his and it caused her tremendous worry. During the silent car ride, she had noticed a subtle disturbance come over him and she couldn't help her own mind that ran astray, imagination plagued with thoughts of what he could be remembering. At some point, his lip began to quiver and his hands slowly balled into fists as he was surly attempting to stop the shaking from spreading throughout his body. Noticing this, the pinkette slowly took his hand in hers and squeezed it. _You're here Hope. You're home. With me. _

As he felt the contact, Hope jumped, suddenly roused from his torturous mind. He squeezed his eyes shut as the last remnants of his torment fell away, leaving him in his car with his driver and Lightning. _Light. _The young man looked over toward her and saw the small smile she tried to give him, but he could also see the serious worry etched into her features. He squeezed back, once again trying to fool her into thinking he was all right.

They stared into each other's eyes for the following seconds, hands clasped tightly together as if neither of them ever wanted to let go. Seconds turned to minutes. Minutes could have very well turned to hours for they continued to be consumed by the other's captivating eyes, soft touch and the slowly diminishing space between them. So lost in each other they were, that they hadn't noticed the car come to a stop before their destination.

Dornum cleared his throat. "We're here sir."

Their hands quickly fell back to their sides as the two took in their surroundings. Apparently they'd been sitting in front of Hope's house for quite some time. Hope blinked a bit, trying to regain his composure. Hearing a knock on his window, he looked and found Zalera standing just outside the door, a smirk on her face.

"You're blushing", Zalera teased, as her friend exited the car. The comment earned her a small, ineffective glower from him to which she just smiled. Glancing at the cause of Hope's pink cheeks getting out on the other side, Zalera noticed there being a soft pink dusting Lightning's face as well. "You aren't the only one." Before she could see his expression, she turned and walked back up to Hope's door, now adorned by a guard on each side. "I was dropped off a while ago. They told me there was something you wanted to speak with me about?" She turned, waiting for the two lovebirds to collect themselves and let her in.

"Yes, but uh... let's get inside okay?" Letting the ladies inside first, Hope felt like a stranger in his own home. It's true that with his heavy work load, the silverette rarely made it home much but he never spent more than a month away. Now, stepping into the foyer, he felt oddly out of place yet completely relaxed. Despite his long time away, this was his home.

"So, where am I staying", asked Lightning nonchalantly.

Hope's brows furrowed as he contemplated the meaning to her question. "What?"

The soldier frowned finding that she would have to explain herself. "Well I am your _personal _guard. I'm staying by you. Therefore I'll be living here... with you." She found herself fighting an oncoming burn rushing towards her face as she finished her sentence.

It made sense, but that still didn't stop the slight bewilderment in him at her simple statement. "Um..." he spun around to face her. "...does that mean that you..." He trailed off as he put the pieces together. _Oh no... _A lopsided grin slowly appeared on his face.

The man's expression was met with a confused Zalera and a ruffled Lightning who soon glared back at him. "Yes, I've been staying at the little punk's place", she grumbled.

Biting back a laugh, Hope could see a very disgruntled Lightning sitting in Cass's tiny, messy apartment and it wasn't pretty. Relieving himself of the visual, he led the way through the house giving them a slight tour. "Well on the right is the family room with the kitchen beside it."

Lightning's eyes widened seeing the large kitchen that held many appliances and utensils as if it were a professional chef's home. _A shame I'm a terrible cook. _

"And across from them on our left is the bathroom and then my room. The sliding door there, beside the stairs, leads to the backyard and the garden."

"Garden?" Lightning found it interesting that the home which seemed quite big for two people would have a garden tended by two workaholics. _Well one now..._

Hope smiled bashfully as he ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah well my mom used to love gardens and she missed having one after we moved to Palumpolum. Anyway I take care of it when I can. Guess I took after my mom with the green thumb. At least that's what my dad used to say. This whole house was designed from what we knew of what my mom wanted in a house." A solemn look soon followed his explanation but he quickly brightened up, trying to stay upbeat. Turning back around, the three ascended the winding staircase that came up into the next room. "As you probably guessed, this is the library." The room was very spacious and grand. Enormous oak bookcases lined with books stood tall covering all of the wall space in the room. The north wall however was one giant window that looked over the front of the house, the last of the sun shimmering in through the clear glass.

"That's... a safety hazard" spoke Lightning as she took a small step towards it.

"It's bulletproof", chimed Hope as he turned away, continuing with showing off the rest of the house. "On the right is the art room and my father's... or-I guess... my office." He cleared his throat and soon bit his lip. "On the left is the master bedroom, the bathroom and I guess Light will be taking the guest bedroom there." He pointed it out to her and she followed him into it. There was a queen sized canopy bed with a deep red comforter and matching curtain. The plush carpeting was very soft and a nice cream color to accompany the oak wood walls. There was an oak side table, dresser and vanity that matched the bed's frame, completing the set. "I hope it suits you. We can make some adjustments if you-"

"It's nice." Lightning brought her hand over the comforter to feel it's velvety smoothness. Truthfully, she felt it was a tad too much for her taste. It was a beautiful room but too fancy.

"And..." , Hope exited the room, the women soon trailing behind. He went to two glass doors and opened them to reveal a large wooden deck that looked out over the back yard and gave a breathtaking view of Pulse. There was a covered grill against the house and a small garden swing that sat just off to the side.

Zalera peeked over the edge of the railing to look into the back yard. "Wow Hope."

Lightning found herself joining the warrior and was soon in a small state of awe. There was a massive lush garden below them with tons of various flowers, bushes and small trees. There were small vegetable patches and even a quaint pond, a stone rim surrounding it.

"I didn't think I'd be seeing much nature in the city." Zalera looked over the scene in amazement. It seemed that everything she had been told in her life about Cocoon and it's inhabitants were quickly being proven wrong. As they grew up, Fara, the eldest and wisest of their tribe, always told them of the fools of the world above.

_"They're heathens", the woman would say. "They care not for our wise deities but only for their mini gods that feed, shelter and protect them. The city folk in that sphere know nothing of the true struggles in life. They are happy on their tethers and leashes as long as they are provided with their manufactured, processed goods and newfangled gadgets. Reliance on the fal'Cie is all they will ever know. But not us. We provide for ourselves. We appreciate the world around us, its nature and its creatures, and most importantly the great beings who created all of this."_

Fara was always thought to be all knowing, especially to the youth of their tribe. Cocoon was a common topic to which she only spoke of with disgust and in the most derogatory fashion. She once said that their world held no wildlife, none at all. They were deprived of the beauty of nature and wouldn't know a flower if they saw one Therefore they held no appreciation for the outdoors and would have no place on Pulse.

Zalera was quickly coming to the realization that Fara, the woman who she had grown up knowing as a teacher of all subjects, seemed to be nothing but a storyteller. These people, former occupants of Cocoon, were much stronger, much smarter, and much more in tune with life and the hardships and beauty of Pulse than the old woman had ever given them credit for.

Bouncing on the balls of his feet and hugging his middle as a chill came over him, Hope sighed. "Yeah, my own little sanctuary I guess. Anyway, the top floor is the attic." His hand gestured up to the last floor with little interest, his mind preoccupied with the upcoming topic of their next conversation. "We should get inside so we can talk."

After a few minutes, Zalera and Lightning sat in the family room while Hope put on some tea in the kitchen. When Hope rejoined them, the green-haired woman looked to him with curiosity. "So what is it you wanted to talk with me about?"

Hope sat in the recliner across from the two women on the couch. His posture was rigid and his eyes drifted over the room as he considered how to approach the conversation. "How are you?"

The woman knitted her brow as she crossed her legs, dropping her bag in front of her, chakrams still tied onto it's front straps.

Lightning looked at the weapons curiously. It wasn't often you met someone who chose to fight with chakrams. They were of a very shiny steel, seemingly well kept and the eight spikes were extremely sharp. It seemed the Pulsian really adored the color green since along with her green knee length skirt, green skin tight tank, green hair and green eyes, the inner rim of her weapons were also a shiny green.

Zalera took a few moments to consider his question. Physically, she was fine. Thanks to Hope, she didn't have to spend weeks with stitches holding together her side. Only a day after waking up, he'd insisted on healing her before even touching any of his own wounds. Emotionally, that was a whole different story. But no one else needed to know that. "I'm all right... as all right as can be expected I guess. Why?" Her gaze turned a bit skeptical as she searched his eyes.

Shifting due to his increasing uneasiness, the young man pursed his lips. "I uh... well first of all, how did you find your accommodations at the Academy base? Were they okay or..."

"The room was fine."

"Well... um" An overwhelming silence filled the room as his confidence waned. He was completely unsure of how to move the conversation onward. "Well since Lightning is already staying here... I do have another free room if it would suit you be-"

Zalera sat back into the couch as her eyebrow rose. "It's perfectly fine Hope. The room is nice and I don't want to intrude." A smirk played across her lips as she glanced in Lightning's direction who gave her a disconcerted look in return. "But I feel like you're avoiding the real question Hope. What is it that you really-" The woman was cut off by the loud screech of the kettle in the kitchen.

The silverette stood, silently thanking the Maker for the small disruption from their conversation to give him a little more time for his approach. He made his way to the kettle, ignoring the seemingly baffled looks the women held, probably due to his odd behavior, and set up a tray to serve his guests. As he was readying to leave the kitchen, Hope grabbed one last spoon from the silverware drawer. While he was shutting it though, he could have sworn he heard something. Like a voice.

_"Hope"_

Quickly spinning around, eyes jittering from place to place, he searched for someone in the room. His heart pounded harshly in his chest and his hand tightened unconsciously around the spoon as he recognized the voice. _It sounded like..._

_ "Miss me yet, Hope?"_

His eyes widened. It couldn't be. Palms starting to sweat and heartbeat now drumming in his ears, Hope found his body reacting to the voice. Fear began to course through him. He knew that voice. _No. Get a grip. It's nothing. It's just like in the car and the hospital. You went through an extremely traumatic event and it's just haunting you is all. You just have to work through it. It's all in your head. _

As his mind began to calm, his body followed suit. His heart no longer felt like it was trying to break through his ribs, the slight tremor running through his limbs ceased and his hold on the spoon loosened. But as he turned to go bring his attention back to his original task, the young man caught sight of the utensil. It was now oddly bent in the middle and in a right angle. Baffled for a brief few seconds, Hope stared at it before figuring out what must've happened. In his fear and with the lack of control over his powers he must have conjured up a fire spell. While he blindly searched for the voice's owner, the concentrated energy was focused into the spoon, bending the metal.

"You okay in there", Lightning called from the family room, sounding a little concerned if not a bit agitated.

Hope smirked at the familiar tone and pinched the bridge of his nose. _Just freaking myself out __with imaginary voices. Nothing to worry about. _"Yeah, I'm coming." Quickly throwing the damaged spoon away and grabbing a new one, _that is going to remain in its current shape_, he snatched up the tray. He was just a few steps shy of exiting the room before that all too familiar and close voice spoke again.

_"You can't get rid of me that easily, darling."_

Lightning and Zalera bolted from their seats as they heard a crash from the kitchen. As they neared the room, Lightning called to Hope but it seemed he didn't hear her. The tray, previously holding the kettle, cups, cream, sugar, etc, was now shattered and splattered on the floor at his feet. The young man stood frozen solid before them, face having paled considerably. "Hope? Hope, what happened?" He didn't respond to her which made her scared. "Answer me." His eyes had a distant look and though she stood inches before him, eye to eye, she knew he didn't see her. She reached out for him but was stopped.

The warrior reached for Lightning's arm to halt her. She knew there was something wrong with the kid and that it most definitely had to do with the Ark. "Touching him most likely will only make it worse." Lightning's eyes burned into hers with fury. Surely the soldier was pissed with her for stopping her. _Well, to Lightning, I'm a complete stranger. She's probably thinking that she knows how to handle this because she's known him longer and knows him better. _"Trust me, if-"

Lightning ignored her and grabbed onto his shoulder, shaking him. "Hope?"

Inhaling sharply and blinking, Hope was finally freed from his mind. "Sorry, I was just..." Avoiding any eye contact, he knelt down and began fumbling to pick up the mess he had made.

Lightning sighed. She didn't know what was going on with him or how she could possibly help. This was obviously another product of his torture and she wanted nothing but to ease all of this away. But she couldn't, could she? Bending down to help him clean, she tried to meet his gaze but he was intent at keeping it locked on the floor.

Finding that the three needed to find a way around this little catastrophe, Zalera went to try and hop back into their original conversation. " I think it's safe to say that chatting over tea is out. What did you want to talk about anyway?" Still avoiding her prying eyes, he bit his lip and continued to pick up the shattered pieces of the cups. "Okay, that's it. You get all squirmy every time we even go near the conversation and I want to know. Spit it out."

A loud sigh fell from his lips as he ceased his actions. _Just ask. It's a good way to slide by this little mishap anyway. _"Would you like to see Yeul?"

* * *

"Thank you, Dr. Torkin", spoke Hope as they walked into the Guardian Corps morgue.

"Of course. I'm happy to be of assistance." The man then scampered over to the proper drawer containing Yeul's body. He opened the drawer but before he could pull back the sheet, Hope grabbed his wrist, urgently enough to stop him but light enough to be polite.

"Could you give us a few minutes?"

The balding man's hand fell from the sheet. "Right. I'll just be right outside", he replied, eager to please.

After the man left the room, he looked over to the two women standing just inside the door. Lightning stood arms crossed, eyes dancing around the room seeming uncomfortable and uneasy. Zalera though, stood completely still, unmoving, her eyes pinned to the open drawer fifteen feet away. Hope stepped toward the emerald haired woman. "Zalera? Would you..."

Before he could continue, she walked slowly, calmly, almost mechanically, over to the body. Her eyes searched the sheet, almost afraid of what lied beneath. She brought her hand up to the top of the white fabric, letting it hover before dropping it back to her side. Several times she did this before her shoulders began to shake.

Tugging at his sleeve, Hope wondered if he was doing the right thing. If this would help her or hurt her. This could either bring her closure, or be just the thing to shatter whatever remained of her. Was she strong enough for this? Was it too soon? These questions were soon to be answered as Zalera finally willed herself to pull the sheet back.

A gasp sounded from her as she took in the young girl's face. _Yeul... _She looked so peaceful as if she were just asleep. But as Zalera brought her hand to the girl's face, it was undeniable. The unnatural coldness of her skin. The blue of her lips. The marks, cuts, and bruises that marred her delicate features. The death that radiated from her. The tears came much sooner than she'd expected but she couldn't keep them at bay, even if she'd wanted to. Slumping over the young girl's body, Zalera wailed. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I failed you. I can't believe-you-you-y-you c-can't really be- Another pained cry erupted from her. Picking up the girl slightly, she brought Yeul to her chest, clutching onto her tightly.

Hope closed his eyes, head turned downward, giving them some semblance of privacy. He knew Zalera cared very much for Yeul and that this wasn't going to be easy, but he'd mistaken just how heartbreaking this would be. Yeul was like family to the woman, making her the last of her family, and probably the last of her tribe. Zalera had truly lost everything. Yet she continued on. For what purpose he was uncertain, but he didn't need to know, he admired her greatly for it anyway. She reminded him of a certain someone standing not five feet away.

This certain someone in contrast was having a hard time not staring at the scene. She could feel for the warrior. She knew what it was like to lose someone. How it felt when the realization finally hit. How it felt when you first saw the empty vessel left behind when the soul was long gone, out of your reach. She could easily remember the days mourning her father and mother. But as she looked at the two before her she felt fear in the pit of her stomach. Fear for what if that person on the table were someone she cared for just as much? What if that body now cradled so desperately in the strange woman's arms was her sister or Hope? What if she was the one clinging to the dead body, tears flooding her cheeks? Relief soon squashed the growing fear as her mind rationalized everything. Serah was in stasis, protected by her crystal case. Hope was beside her, under her watchful eye and protection again. She did not need to worry about this pain for this pain of loss was not her own, but belonged to the woman in front of her.

As the time passed, Hope and Lightning remained waiting until Zalera was finished. It was a long while before her cries died out and the tears slowed to a stop, but neither said a word. Zalera sniffed and wiped her eyes before wiping her tears from Yeul's face and cupping her cheek. "I hope you are happy in your next life and I hope that we meet again. I'm so sorry." As she placed the cloth back over Yeul, she felt her throat threatening to close and tears brimming her eyelids once again. Drawing in a shaky breath, she stood, arms wrapping around her middle.

Hope went to close the drawer but stopped at the knock on the door behind him. He turned to see Alyssa enter. "Aly-" He was cut off as she hugged him tightly. He sighed, wondering when this would stop. This was the third time he'd seen his assistant since he'd been back and every time was the same. A bone crushing hug and a teary eyed 'hello' and 'glad your back'. _No wonder everyone thinks there's something going on. _

Stepping away while keeping her hands on his shoulders, Alyssa smiled cheekily. "Hi Director. I'm so glad your back." Hope nodded and smiled politely. He received a small pout from the girl as he pushed her hands off of him, but her smile returned almost instantly. "You asked for me?"

"Yes." He turned toward the other occupants of the room. His brows furrowed at Lightning's hardened expression but as his eyes fell on Zalera, a sympathetic look overcame him. "Um... Z, are you-"

"I'm... all right", she responded shakily.

"You know my offer still stands." She turned to him confused. "About staying with us."

She smiled graciously, grateful for his kindness. "Oh please, Hope. I'm fine. And stop looking at me like that." She shoved his chest playfully causing him to stumble back a few steps.

They laughed for a few brief moments before Hope looked back to Alyssa. "If you could take Zalera back to base and make sure she's settled in-"

"No problem, Director. I'd be more than happy to." Alyssa nodded to Zalera who nodded slowly in return, following after the exiting assistant.

Just before leaving, she stopped, hearing Hope close the drawer. They all soon exited the room as Torkin closed it all up and locked it. Before following the rest of her group out, she turned towards the room, looking one last time at the drawer containing her dearest loved one. Her hand slid down the cool glass of the door's window as she took a deep breath. "I miss you", she whispered. "Know that I'll always love you."

A loud gasp alerted Hope to their straggling member. He searched behind him for Zalera and saw her still staring into the morgue through the door. He walked over toward her and put his hand at her back. He did this just in time to catch her as her legs gave out beneath her. The two collapsed to the floor as the tears came spilling over Zalera's cheeks once again.

"I can't leave her. I can't." She cried out as she buried her face into Hope's chest, wrapping her arms around his waist.

Hope bit his lip, wondering how he found himself in this situation. Pulling her closer towards him, he rested his chin atop her head and rubbed circles into her back to calm her down. After a few minutes passed, she seemed to only get worse. "Z, it's okay. Yeul's here and she's at peace now. Please, it's okay. Soon enough we can put her body to rest however you wish. Just... please calm down."

Sniffing a bit, she pulled away from him. "I'm sorry." Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks were red from crying and embarrassment. Hiccuping some, she wiped some snot from her nose as she mumbled another apology.

"It's okay." The young man gave her a small, comforting smile and stood, holding out a hand to pull her up. She took it and he then helped her off of the cold linoleum floor. "Now let's get some sleep huh?"

* * *

Lightning stared at the fabric that stretched above her bed. They had gotten back to Hope's house two hours prior and almost immediately shuffled off to bed. After all of the emotional crap that had occurred throughout the day, the soldier had been rather excited by the prospect of getting some rest. But as soon as her head hit the pillow, she had remained wide awake. At first she didn't think too much of it, thinking that maybe she just wasn't tired. As the hours passed though and the moon quickly progressed through the sky, she could feel how tired she was, how borderline exhausted she was getting.

So then she thought that maybe it was the new room, the strange location that her mind had to become accustomed to. It was plausible. Anyone would have a hard time adjusting to new living conditions, especially their bedroom. But this idea was quickly shot down. Lightning was a soldier. She knew how to quickly adjust to different conditions. And all her life she found she could pretty much sleep anywhere. Even ever since she was Claire.

Sitting up, the woman sighed. Letting her thoughts wander, she tried to find the cause and solution to this problem. She needed to sleep. What use would she be for protecting Hope if- _Thats it! _That was exactly what was wrong with the restless soldier. For the past few days, since the young man had reappeared in her life, she had been by his side, day and night. His presence had been right there while she had slept and apparently her mind and body had grown dependent on it. _In only three days?_ She shook her head finding that to be a dumb thought. Hope had been gone for months and she'd slept just fine... most nights. It would be absurd. But as she sat there, pondering her predicament, it was the only explanation she could find. Especially since in the hospital they had only been separated by a few feet and were now not only rooms apart, but floors. These thoughts only led her to thinking about Hope's safety and the distance she would have to cover to get to him in time to save him. Would she even make it?

Huffing and shoving the covers off, she stood. She had to check on him now finding that all getting lost in her thoughts did for her was make her obsessively worry over the young man's safety. "Ugh, all I can say is thank Etro I'm not still staying in my apartment. That would have made this even more annoying and ridiculous."

Shuffling through the house and down the stairs, Lightning was quiet and stealthy to not wake Hope or alert the guards. As she hit the last step though, she heard a cry from Hope's bedroom. Springing into action, the soldier shot towards his door, fully aware of the absence of her weapon at her side. Silently cursing herself, she swung Hope's door open, now hearing more yells.

As she entered his room, she felt some of her panic lessen. Hope was physically fine. There was nothing really wrong and there was no intruder threatening is health. But on the other hand, something was very wrong with Hope as he was writhing around, lost in a mess of blankets, hopelessly locked in a nightmare. Drawing in a deep breath, Lightning went to his side.

He could feel it again. That damned hand was at his throat, choking the life from him as it had many nights before. Struggling to free himself, he found his bindings only tightening further. The air was all around him, taunting him, but he had no way of letting it into his lungs that were burning with need. Sebastian's eyes held that same sadistic flare they always did but it seemed to be far more intense this time.

Then the smell reached his nose. The burning of flesh. Hope had been so focused on fulfilling his need to breathe that he hadn't even been aware of the extra touch the burly man decided to use. Now he could feel that unbearable burn not only inside his throat but outside as well. His flesh felt like it was being seared off of him. The scorching flame held just under Sebastian's palm began to cause Hope's skin to boil and welt.

On the verge of passing out from the pain, his strangled yelps began to die out. He knew there was no one there to help him. There were plenty of people that could hear him sure, but there was no one within earshot who wanted to help end this horrid pain. Yet he cried out anyway. He cried for there was nothing else he could do.

Lightning struggled to bring Hope back to reality. To bring him back to her. He seemed so scared, so lost, that it was killing her. She grabbed onto his bare shoulders and tried to shake him awake but it seemed to only cause him to scream more. Taking his face in her hands, she called out to him again, receiving nothing but more pained cries. His hands were gripping the sheets as if they were his lifeline. Sweat dripped down his clammy skin and he was hot to the touch. "Hope! Hope!" He continued to cry out and she froze when she heard her name tumble from his lips. Again and again, he called out for her. Why couldn't she help him? He clearly wanted her help and she was trying. She was right by his side, attempting to soothe his pain. "Dammit Hope, c'mon. Wake up!" She put her hand on his exposed torso, ignoring the shiver that traveled down her spine at the contact, and tried to hold him still while her other hand remained cupping his cheek. "Please come back to me Hope", she whispered.

Hope jolted, quickly sitting up from the bed and threw a punch at her. Because of her soldier reflexes, she caught the fist before it reached her face. She was stunned that he would attempt to hit her but as she looked at him, the disoriented and dazed expression on his face, she knew he didn't think that it was her. Shock quickly overcame him surely as she saw him take her in.

He couldn't believe it. As his breathing slowed from its erratic state, he took in his surroundings and the person partially on top of him, holding his fist in her hand, inches from her face. He almost hit Lightning. "I'm so sorry." He pulled away from her, still trying to understand how he could have ever come that close to harming her.

Trying to meet his eyes through his silver locks, she kept her hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat slow. "Are you okay?" Her concern over his state only grew as she watched him reach for his neck cautiously, as if he weren't sure what he would find.

Smiling as he sighed, his hand fell back to the bed. _It was only a nightmare. _He looked up to finally meet the young woman's eyes. _And Light witnessed all of it. _He must have put on quite a show for her eyes were filled with worry. "Yeah, I'm fine", he breathed out. Taking her hand from his chest in his own, he squeezed it, giving her that reassuring, warm gesture that had become the norm between them.

Lightning squeezed back as she shifted a bit. A blush crept over her cheeks as she noticed their rather compromising position. They were so close. She was straddling him and practically in his lap, her in her skin tight shorts and tank top, him in sweats with nothing covering his bare chest that glistened in the moonlight. This position had been necessary before when Hope was freaking out and Lightning had been trying to help him, but now...

Hope cleared his throat as she got off of him and sat beside him. He met her eyes again. "I'm really so-"

"No need."

"But I almost-"

The pinkette smirked. "Oh please, Estheim. Do you really think you could ever lay a hit on me?"

He chuckled and rubbed his neck, still finding it hard to believe that the event had only occurred in his head. "Yeah, I suppose not." _Not that I ever thought I'd try._ His eyes trailed off to the side as quiet took the room for a few moments. He found them widening though as he heard a harsh whisper.

_"Only a nightmare? Are you sure?"_

Seeing Hope tense and become visibly frightened, Lightning grabbed his arm. This caused them both to look at his arm and the brand under her palm. Their eyes stuck there a moment, looking at both the contact and the blue mark. _All of this is happening because of this damn thing. Maker, why? _Her thumb began to rub against the brand softly. "Hope?" She looked up to find his eyes staring into hers.

A sigh escaped him as he looked down to his arm with a bit of disgust. He still felt a bit of shame. Shame for getting taken. Shame for not being able to prevent the tattoo's reappearance. Shame for having to bring more chaos into their lives. Into her life. Her gentle caress over his skin soothed his mind though. "Yeah, Light?"

"Are you sure... I know we already talked about this, but are you sure you don't have some... kind of focus with this?" She continued to brush her hand against it as they sat there. "I mean, other than what those... monsters wanted you to do. You didn't have any sort of vision?"

Running his free hand over his face, he cringed a little at the memories of when he got his brand. "No, I didn't have a vision. And I'd know if I did. I still remember our one of Ragnarok clear as day. But no... I guess when your brand is forced back to the surface, you don't have to deal with the focus bullshit. Probably the reason for its odd color." Lightning let go and they both looked at it intently, as intently as they could with the moon streaming in through the windows being their only light source. But in the moonlight, his brand held a beautiful, breathtaking glow. "We should probably get back to sleep." He really didn't feel like going back to bed and experiencing another nightmare like that again, but he could at least pretend so Lightning could get some rest.

"Would you like me to..." She trailed off and stared down at the bed.

Hope caught on and smiled but shook his head. "That's all right. I'll be fine. Promise."

With this, Lightning nodded and stood. "I'm glad your okay", she whispered, before retreating out of his room and shutting the door. She felt uneasy with leaving him. The incident had shaken her much more than she would have liked and she couldn't seem to get his cries out of her head. Now the need to be near him and protect him had only strengthened. With this in mind, she sauntered off to her room, grabbed a pillow and some covers and made to spend the rest of her night on the couch in the family room just across the hall from Hope's bedroom.

Hope laid his head back down on his pillow. His body was still cooling down from before, so he kicked the covers away, welcoming the cool air of the room over his skin. Sleep would most likely be eluding him and his torturous mind for the rest of the night, but he continued to lie there. Flashes of his nightmare came to the forefront of his wandering thoughts and he pushed those away out of his mind as quickly as they'd entered. He didn't need to think about it. It had been less of a nightmare and more of a memory. A memory that he apparently couldn't vanquish if he tried.

And then he thought about the whispers that had invaded his mind. As if the memories and tormenting dreams weren't enough, he had to deal with Castea's voice lingering in his head. He knew the voice wasn't real – just a product of his imagination and the traumatic events he'd been through. Castea was dead afterall. He'd watched her body hit the stone wall of the Ark and heard her neck snap against it. She hadn't moved or even twitched after that. Her eyes even screamed death when he'd chanced a glance at her while escaping.

And it had only been him that had heard it. Lightning had been sitting right in front of him when Castea's voice had whispered to him yet again. The voice's presence had been nonexistent to her.

_And then there's that... _Lightning would only worry for him more now. This... event would cause her to not only fret about his health and safety more, but to inquire more about his time in the Ark. She asked him so many times already. Lightning was careful to not be too pushy but he could tell how badly she wanted to know. He would never tell her of course. She already blamed herself for his abduction and subsequent captivity and torture. What good would knowing the details do her?

A part of him knew though that that wasn't the only reason he was being so tight lipped. He was also too embarrassed and far too ashamed. He hadn't been strong enough to stop his attackers. All he had been was a worthless victim. The only way he had even escaped was with Alexander. W_ho knows what would have happened if he hadn't shown up. I'd probably be dead or their puppet. Lightning still thinks of me as the little kid she has to protect. I've tried so hard to be stronger to protect the ones I love. All I seem to do is put them in danger and get them killed. No matter what... I'm too weak. And if I tell her... she'll know just how weak I really am._

Hope knew he shouldn't have agreed to have her as his guard. Having her protecting him, not only highlighted the fact that he was weak and needed protection, but put her in danger. Sure Castea, Sebastian and Barsilisk were gone, and many others they'd disposed of while escaping, but that did not guarantee there weren't others. Plus there were the apparently frequent assassination attempts from Sanctum City to think about. If he ended up losing Lightning the way he lost his father...

Squeezing his eyes shut, the young man tried to calm the rapidly growing nausea that thought had conjured up. He had already lived years without the soldier. Five years without Lightning by his side had been an experience he'd never wanted to endure again. Only this time, there would be no possibility of her coming back. He would have to live the rest of his life without her stunning, rare smile. Her soft, yet calloused hands. Her dry humor. Her ferocious battle skills. Her marvelous strength. Without her heart. That was and would be the most devastating piece of Lightning Farron to lose. Her heart that was so caring and kind even though she tried to keep it protected behind a stoic mask and an ice cold glare. He knew he could never do it. Live a life without the person he admired the most. Without the woman who eased his fears so quickly. Without the woman whom he considered his best friend. Without the woman who he had come to love.

Turning his body on its side, Hope found himself staring at his door for the rest of the night, thinking about the soldier who lied a ways beyond it.


	14. Emotion

**A/N: Now this chapter was a monster to write. First, it is over seventeen thousand words. My longest chapter yet. Despite its length, writing this didn't take me much time at all and... it was done five days ago. However when I went back in to edit it and copy it to my flash drive, the file was CORRUPTED. After hours of trying to repair it, I ended up having to scrap it and rewrite about seventy-five percent of the whole chapter. As much as I despised and detested the fact that I had to go back in and try to remember every single word I wrote, I think it actually turned out much better the second time around. Anyway, I am exhausted now. **

**Reviewers- **

** Guest- Yes, they are both finally realizing their feelings for each other and yes, Hope was an idiot in turning Lightning down. He should have let her stay with him. The cuddling would have been cute. **

**Kakashi98- I did like writing the part of Hope thinking about not being able to lose Light. It was an unplanned piece that kind of just wrote itself. And trust me the fluffy feels aren't going anywhere and there are plenty more incoming. **

** 0erbayunFang- An interesting thought you have there about Castea. We'll just have to wait and see ;)**

**I'm very happy to finally have this chapter done and I can't wait to hear what you think about it. ****If you want a little spoiler... let's just say I've put you guys through a long enough wait. Let's see if you're rewarded or disappointed...**** Hope you enjoy and review :)**

* * *

She was watching him now. Intensely watching him, wholeheartedly. The way he worked truly amazed her. He was so determined, so focused. Like everything around him blurred out and the only thing in the world was his current project. It reminded Lightning of the kind of focus she used in battle.

The soldier was currently standing about ten feet away from Hope who was wiring another pole for the shield project, as well as working on the figures of how far the barrier would span and how thick it would have to be. What he was working on was so complicated. It was all beyond her. Lightning was a very intelligent person, but as she continued to watch the young man intently she realized that she couldn't hold a candle to Hope. The figures he constantly went through, the advanced engineering skills he had and used... he was so adept... In all of their travels together as l'Cie, she never once considered how smart Hope was. When he'd stopped cowering and whining it had become clear that he was bright and picked things up quick, but... _He's in his element now._

Two weeks had passed since the duo had gone back to work, back into their old workaholic ways, and Lightning was still not pleased with Hope's heavy work load. Though it seemed, other than the increasingly large amount of paperwork he had to do daily, he brought it on himself. He worked very intimately on more projects than he needed to. The shield project being a good example. When she had asked him though, why he didn't leave it to Maqui and the rest of his very capable staff, he said he had to protect his people. That they needed to feel safe and secure, especially now. Also, he explained that this was his baby. He came up with the idea and wanted to see it through to the end. Have it come to fruition. This, and his look of extreme determination, made her think back on the crystal mission. That had been his baby as well. From what she had heard, he had had a lot of himself invested in that project too. It made her realize just how devastating letting it go must have been for him. And just how afraid of the crystal he was now.

Of course these thoughts led her mind into its web of horrifying thoughts of his time in the Ark. Into her demanding curiosity about his torture. She wanted to know. She desperately wanted to know. She _needed_ to know. Being stuck in a constant state of wonder was driving her insane. All she seemed to be doing lately was remembering every single mark that she had seen on him and imagining what could have happened to cause them. She had so many questions about his torture. What did they do to him exactly? What kind of tools were used on him? How many times did they stab him, burn him and electrocute him? How did he continue on? How did he deal with the tremendous pain and seemingly never-ending torture? Did he struggle? Did he scream? Was he able to? And if he did, how long did he cry out for someone before he realized that no one was coming for him? Did he call out to anyone specific? Did he cry out for her?

That was the one question she had become obsessed with. The one question she felt she already knew the answer to. The one question that was slowly causing her to crumble. He had called for her in his nightmares. It would only make sense if he had called for her then too. And she hadn't come for him. Then that brought up more questions. How long did he cry out for her before he realized that she wasn't coming to save him? How long had it taken before he had lost his faith in her? Before he had lost the hope of ever being freed? How long before he had lost all hope?

Lightning stared at his back as he fiddled with things far beyond her comprehension, hoping that he wouldn't turn around. If he did he would surely notice the tears she had been slowly shedding unconsciously. Hastily wiping her tears away, she clawed her way out of that pit of hell she'd thrown herself into and tried to focus on reality. But even as she did, she found herself only falling deeper. For her reality was Hope. He was all she had and was the only thing keeping her together. She couldn't stand the thought of him knowing that she'd abandoned him. Of him stuck in that place and losing faith in her. For all she knew, he had lost _all_ faith in her. She hated thinking that. Thinking that even _he_ thought that she couldn't protect him or save him. She already had her own doubts. But she was going to try. She was going to protect him until she drew her very last breath.

Even so, it all did no good if he didn't believe in her. If he didn't trust her. If he didn't think she cared enough to come for him. How could she show him? How could she prove it to him? Crossing her arms, the young woman dug her nails into her skin as she continued to get lost in the labyrinth of wonder her unanswered questions had created.

She could see the blood... hear his screams. He was screaming for her but she wasn't coming. His body was writhing and struggling against his captors. They were hurting him over and over and over again. There was blood, so much blood. His screams were getting louder and even more shrill. No matter how long or loud he cried, no matter how much he struggled, those faceless monsters continued. _Stop. Just stop. _

And gradually, something shifted. His cries floated away into the distance. His body was still, succumbing to the torment. He no longer twitched in anguish. His eyes... those beautiful emerald eyes had lost their usual spark. There was a deadness in them that spoke of utter hopelessness and despair. It didn't belong there. Not in those eyes. Shaking her head and biting her tongue, she fought to free herself of the images but they wouldn't relent. The chaos of her imagination had grabbed a hold of her and wasn't about to let her go.

Dropping her arms to her sides, Lightning balled her hands into tight fists. She needed to stop. Her sanity was deteriorating and if she didn't find a way to stop it soon, someone would notice. She needed to keep herself calm and on guard. What if someone attacked while she was too obsessed with her string of questions? Or someone could see and decide that she was unfit for this job. Hope could see and decide that he really couldn't count on her. And that, was what finally brought her attention back on topic. _Protect Hope. _Nerves calming and vision clearing, the sergeant finally stopped her downwards spiral with just enough time to compose herself before Hope turned toward her, giving her his bright smile. A smile that although appeared genuine, was surely forced. Even if it was only minutely.

"So", he started as he picked up the large pipe and hefted it onto his shoulder, "Have you seen Z around lately?" Walking away a few feet, he set the pole down carefully onto a cart with four others to which Maqui came over to, nodded his head at Hope, and steered it away to his workstation.

Clearing her throat, Lightning walked towards him chewing on an answer as he put his jacket on. She was now used to his little nickname he had for Zalera. Before, it had been odd for the soldier and had led to yet another question in her mind, 'when they had gotten close enough for nicknames', but she left that question on the heap of other unanswered ones and just accepted Hope's closeness with the strange Pulsian and the name. He had a nickname for her after all. Granted she had told him to use it. Maybe Zalera had asked him to as well. "Not for a couple of days. Last I heard from Sazh though, she was hanging around him and learning a bit about his ships." She rolled her eyes as she imagined how that had gone. Sazh could rattle on for hours if it had anything to do with airships and his old days in the civilian air fleet.

Hope chuckled as he readjusted his tie, clipping it firmly into place to rest perfectly in the middle of his chest. "Yeah, Sazh probably had some fun... not sure about Z though." Shaking his head, he led Lightning out of the shop and back out into the hall.

"So where to from here, _Director_?"

"The office. Where else?" He smiled and laughed under his breath as he caught sight of the young woman's glare. "I know, watching me do mounds of paperwork just makes your day huh?"

A dull expression captured her face. "Like life's one big party."

* * *

The two made it into Hope's office two minutes before a knock sounded from the door. "Come in", Hope called from his desk.

Lightning looked up from her spot in the corner to see a woman, seemingly not much older than Hope, step in and make her way over to his desk. She had fare skin and long straight red hair that reached mid back with bangs parted to the sides. She was about an inch shorter than the soldier to her estimation, not counting the black heels. Her rather thin frame wore a slim fitting black dress, a matching purse on the crook of her elbow, and a necklace with a diamond studded 'K'. Although her deep red lipstick made her lips pop, it was her eyes that attracted your attention. They were a vibrant purple, very similar to Cass's.

"Good to know you can still make time for visitors. Although it looks like your assistant was right, you do have quite the workload." Her eyes scanned over his desk, taking in all the papers strewn across it, before landing on their target. "How long has it been?"

Hope smiled a bit uneasily and stood, soon walking around his desk to her side as he spoke. "A little over a year, if I recall correctly." Grudgingly, he took her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing her knuckles gently. "But it's always a pleasure, Kori."

She smiled as he released her hand. "Well of course it is." Glancing over to the corner, she caught sight of the pinkette standing rigid, arms crossed, and face expressionless except for her raised brow.

Noticing where Kori's eyes landed, Hope bounced a bit in his step, jumping into introductions. "Oh... um", he began, before waving Lightning over, "This is Sergeant Lightning Farron. She's my personal guard and a good friend of mine."

Lightning reluctantly walked over towards the two, her strides swift, and held out her hand to the woman whose eyes were still sizing her up.

"And this is Koriandr Harleen. She's Cass's older sister and a... childhood friend", explained Hope while biting his lip and chuckling nervously.

They shook hands politely as expected of the two, but you could feel the intense competitive aura that filled the air in that moment. Both kept their feelings hidden away, Kori by an aristocratic smile and Lightning by her usual hardened mask. "Ah, so I get to meet the soldier who guarded my brother. Am I correct?" Lightning simply nodded in reply. "Right, he spoke about you a bit. He said you had quite the personality." She chuckled lowly at the soldier's slight frown. "It's great to finally meet you."

Crossing her arms, Lightning decided to remain civil, even in the face of this very fake, spoiled brat for the sake of Hope. But it was nice to be able to put a face to a name, seeing as Cass had spoken of her quite a lot during his time as director. "It's nice to meet you as well, Miss Harleen."

"Please, it's Koriandr and my friends call me Kori." She leaned a bit into Hope's chest and arrested his tie. "Isn't that right, Hope?"

Looking down at the contact, Hope swallowed harshly. He hadn't even realized they were standing so close. "Sure", he replied, the word catching slightly in his throat.

After sliding down the length of his tie, her hand rested against his chest as she turned to look at Lightning. "Any friend of Hope's is a friend of mine. Anything closer and well... that's entering enemy territory." Grinning, she stepped away as Hope cleared his throat.

"So, was there anything specific you wanted to speak with me about?" Walking towards his desk, he stole a glance at Lightning who still held an indifferent expression. He then sat on the front of his desk, waiting for Kori's answer.

"Well first, I wanted to welcome you back. I should have done this much sooner, but I wanted to see how you were doing?"

Hope looked at her, his inner feelings on the subject kept carefully away from his expression, and gave her a small, calm smile. "I'm doing well. Thank you."

Flipping her hair away from her face, she returned his smile with one of her own. "That's good to hear. You have no idea how happy I was when I heard that you were back. Although, your captivity has been kept so hush hush that it makes it quite mysterious."

Hope's eyes drifted away from her. He inwardly cringed and waited for the prying questions that so many others asked freely. As if they were as easy to answer as explaining the events of a vacation. He understood that she would be curious. Everyone was. It was only natural and he didn't mind that. As long as everyone kept their curiosity to themselves.

Seeing Hope's slight sullen expression and his reluctance to share anything on the topic, Kori moved on. "I also wanted to give you this." After opening her purse and quickly snatching out a golden envelope, she held it out for him to take. "I was kinda hoping for a quick verbal response."

Taking the envelope from her, he eyed the intricate designs for a moment before guessing what it was for. "Is this-"

"An invite to my annual soiree? Of course."

"But I thought that I missed it during... while I was gone. You always have it on the same day and..."

"I changed it." She stepped a little closer towards him and put her hand on his knee. "It wouldn't be any fun without our director."

Fingering the invitation, Hope felt a bit touched and yet slightly annoyed. It was nice that Kori would postpone her annual ball just for him. Especially since she was usually so anal about these kinds of things. But he couldn't help the agitation he felt at having to attend. She was always hanging on him and was far too forward at the event as if she expected him to comply simply because they were in public and it was courteous. And he usually did allow it, finding himself trapped. The girl's clinginess could easily compete with Alyssa's, although the red head was more subtle and acted a little less desperate. Regardless, he would just rather avoid the whole ordeal entirely. If there was anything good that came out of his torture, it was missing the soiree. Or so he had thought.

He looked up to meet those deep violet orbs and noticed her brow arching, impatiently waiting for a reply. Hope bit his cheek as he realized how long he'd spent in silence and how rude he must have appeared. "I wouldn't dream of missing it, Kori. It was very unnecessary of you to postpone and I'm sorry for causing the complications of your party. Thank you though... for allowing me a chance to attend this year."

Kori gave him a wide grin, having expected to hear him accept anyway, and nodded. She turned to leave and readied to say goodbye, but stopped as she remembered something else. "Oh, one last thing, Hope." She waited to continue until his eyes met hers, giving her his full attention. "Do you have any idea what my brother's gotten himself into this time?"

A look of confusion came over him until it was replaced quickly with bitter disappointment. "I have no idea. I had a hunch that he was getting into trouble again before... but it was just a feeling. Regardless I had Nivien looking into some things and watching out for him since... well I've been so busy. She'd be the one to go to." Seeing Kori give him a look of disgust at his suggestion, Hope sighed. "Or of course I can ask her and relay the message to you."

A pleased smile made it's way to her face and she nodded. "And if I find anything out I'll be sure to let you know as well. I don't understand why he has this self destructive behavior. It's been getting worse with dad as well. It's like Cass wants him to...", she trailed off as she looked over to the side.

Her concern had cause. It seemed since the fall, even before Hope woke up, that Cass had changed. It was gradual and unnoticeable at first but as the years passed, it became apparent that his young friend had taken a liking to the taste of danger. And each time the dangerous situation Cass would insert himself into grew worse and more violent. It seemed, at times, that he almost wanted to die. Hope had a sinking feeling that it had to do with the loss of his mother.

"Well I should be going. That invitation is the same as always. You may extend it to whomever you desire. That pilot you brought along last year was quite hilarious. So please, it's always magnificent to meet more of the director's fine friends and associates." She walked towards the door, her hips swaying a bit exaggeratedly. As she was about to exit she added, "You can even invite some of your... soldier friends...", she paused, glancing at Lightning, uncaring of hiding her slight distaste for the woman, "...if you wish", and left.

Lightning stood, still biting her tongue as she had been doing for most of the unpleasant woman's visit. It seemed the family shared not only the eye color, but a severe case of arrogance. Lightning had learned to stand Cass's personality, with time, but she doubted she would ever get used to Kori's. Not that she wanted to in the least.

It also appeared that there were a lot of people competing for Hope's attention. Kori most definitely being one of them, unless she was just the type of person to be handsy, and used suggestive words and a sultry tone all the time. "I take it her and Nivien aren't on good terms", guessed the soldier as she took a seat on the couch across from Hope, who was still staring at the envelope, mind Maker knows where. After a few moments his eyes darted up to meet hers as he furrowed his brow at her. "...The whole enemy thing..."

Chuckling under his breath, Hope stood and took his seat at his desk. He picked up a random paper out of the many, eyes roving over it as he replied. "Right... just ignore that. She's just a little-"

_Possessive. _She looked up at his silence and only then realized the word had left her mouth.

"I was going to say _protective_ of her... friends." Hope chose his words carefully as he spoke with Lightning. He knew Kori had a thing for him. It was quite obvious, but it appeared that after the fall and he woke up, little crushes didn't really matter much to him anymore. And by the time Kori had deemed him worthy enough of her interest, he had lost his infatuation with her. When he'd considered how that happened, it hadn't taken him long to realize that it had been because his heart already belonged to someone else.

Lightning frustratingly grew curious at this. She knew he and the uppity bitch, as the girl was now labeled in her mind, were friends from before she even knew him, but she wanted to know how deep this relationship ran. "Well it's obvious she likes you", stated Lightning, her hand waving carelessly as she spoke and her face holding a bored expression. "Have you guys..." She crossed her arms as the words began sticking in her throat. She immediately regretted the conversation and wished she could swallow it back up. No matter how uninterested she made herself look, the words would surely tell him otherwise.

Hope stared at his paper, confusion written on his face. It was interesting that Lightning would care about such a subject. The young man found himself inwardly grinning as his mind raced with thoughts of why she would care, much less ask if him and Kori had been involved romantically. Even if she had stopped herself short, he knew what she wanted to ask.

Saving her dignity and yet still answering her question, Hope spoke while jotting some notes down as if he really were working and not too delighted, by gaining Lightning's interest in his love life, to focus. "Our statuses were never really in sync... not until after the fall and my father was director. By then I had much more important things to focus on than Kori. That's not to say that I don't care about her it's just... she's a tad too superficial I guess." He stopped writing the note that held no meaning other than to make him look like he was preoccupied and not giving this conversation his complete attention and devotion, to glance at the slight pensivity in her features. Her expression was rather open which was odd for her. This could have been due to many different possibilities. She was either too preoccupied in her thoughts to apply her soldier front, she thought he was busy and not paying attention to her physically, or he was just too good at reading her by now. "And well... I guess relationships were set as a low priority for me with all of this." He gestured to the desk in front of him, a sigh being released. A thought wandered into his mind as he began to wonder just how much he should say. He wanted to tell her the main reason he'd held his distance from Kori and other interested parties, but he was deathly afraid of her reaction. _Maybe if I just hint at it..._ "And... I think that if I cared enough about her... in _that_ way, work wouldn't matter." _Or not..._

The soldier nodded in reply. Lightning still didn't like her but she felt a little of her hatred for the sleazy girl lessen. A small silence settled over them after a few moments and after hearing the rustling of papers stop, Lightning looked up, expecting to see Hope staring intently at a document or scribbling something down. What she found instead concerned her. His eyes were shut, a pained expression having captured his face, and his hand gripped a page tightly, crumpling the edge.

Hope's mind was an utter disaster. Over the past couple weeks, the voices had not stopped and had only grown worse and more frequent. The only thing the mini Castea stopped, was making sense. Her mocking words and playful reminders of her existence had evolved into a cluster of harsh whispers that would take over his mind, effectively killing his focus and blurring reality out. It was as if there were multiple Castea's that had made a home in his head and spoke to him all at once. As a result, all he heard was nonsense. It would always end after a few minutes of agony with a throbbing headache and with him feeling nauseous and dizzy.

These trying, painful times for Hope did not go unnoticed by Lightning. There would be times where he would stare off into space, fear taking over his features, and gripping whatever his hands could grab onto for dear life. Sometimes it would occur during a conversation, most often with her, and his prolonged silence taking place over his usual witty responses would alert her into action. When it would happen she would worry, call out to him, and if he didn't respond after a few minutes, she'd find a way to snap him out of it. One time it took her so long, she finally had to resort to a good elbow to the stomach.

Then there were the times like this, where not even her punches could bring him back to her. And in this, where whatever he was going through was bad enough that he was visibly hurting, she felt the most helpless. Especially since these occasions were happening more and more often and spanning for longer periods of time.

Even more frustrating was the fact that Hope wouldn't talk about it. He wouldn't answer any of her questions after any of the incidents, keeping it as secret as his torture. In a way it made sense since it no doubt was linked to his captivity, but that didn't make his secrecy any less annoying. _Does he truly not trust me? I guess... I can't blame him for that. _

Lightning attempted to call out to him a few times but as expected, nothing changed. As much as she despised it, she just stood there - watching as he was in pain and struggling with whatever demons were plaguing him - doing nothing. _What are they? Some sort of panic attacks? Flashbacks? Some form of PTSD? _She had suggested to him on more than one occasion that they should take him to doctor and get it checked out. He had simply laughed it off, saying that he could handle it and didn't need to go around troubling anyone else.

A groan alerted her out of her head and she looked up to see Hope let whatever paper he previously held flutter to the floor as his fingers furled themselves in his hair. Wasting no time, she was at his side. She turned his chair in her direction and put her hands on his shoulders. "Hope! Hope snap out of it!" His face only continued to contort in pain while his nails seemed to dig painfully into his scalp. Grasping his arms, she tried to pull them away but they didn't budge. Even with as much force as she could apply, she couldn't pull his head free from his iron grip. _Damn Hope. When did you get so __strong? _Her hands then slid up over his own and she tried to pull them off but had no luck. As a last resort, she decided to claw them off. After digging her nails deep into his skin, drawing blood to her dismay, he finally released. Grinning at her triumph, she pulled his arms to his sides and stared into his face. His eyes were still shut tight and he was still struggling inside his head.

Cupping his cheeks, she didn't know what to do. She could try to hit him or something but in these cases it never worked. And she didn't want to hurt him. She never ever wanted to cause him pain. She glanced at the bleeding claw marks on his hands and shook her head. She'd only done that so he wouldn't hurt himself. "Hope", she whispered as he groaned again._ Maker I can't do anything_. _What the hell is wrong with me? I'm supposed to protect him but... how can I protect him from this? From his __past? _A tear slowly fell down his cheek which only caused her to berate herself more. He was in pain, serious pain and she couldn't stop it.

When the voices finally faded out, he let out a loud sigh as his eyes fluttered open. He felt groggy and his head ached terribly. He was convinced some sort of bomb had gone off inside of it. _Imaginary Castea's mind invasions are getting worse. But what am I supposed to do about that? _His vision was blurred for a bit before it focused on a face rather close to his own. It was then that he realized that Lightning was kneeling before him, that his face was captured in her firm hold, and that she was looking into his eyes with an intensity that seemed to take all of his afore mentioned pain away. If only for a few moments. Then he felt a stinging sensation in his hands that drew his mind back to his physical condition.

He hissed and tore his eyes away from Lightning's concerned ones to see why his hands hurt so badly. As he caught sight of the marks, shock set in. He wondered how they had gotten there and if he had somehow done it to himself. He didn't even consider that it may have been Lightning.

Relief filled her as he came back to the real world. She had been only seconds from calling a med team and was sure she would probably have to next time. Her high spirits sank though as he looked to his hands. "I'm sorry Hope. I had to get you to stop..." Hope's eyes looked back into hers at her words. "You were going to hurt yourself", she whispered, a little ashamed. _So you hurt him for him? Good going, Farron._ Her head tilted downwards as her eyes looked away from him.

Her eyes widened, stunned, when he brought a shaky hand to her chin and tilted her head back up so her eyes could meet his. He held his usual sweet smile in place and his eyes looked at her with happiness and warmth, not pain and betrayal as she was expecting.

"Thank you, Light." He let her chin go and tried to flex his hands. A chuckle sounded from him as he tried to ease the tension. "Your nails are like daggers." After a few moments, the scratches were gone, a healing spell covering the damage. Standing, Hope took his gloves out of his pocket and slipped them on. He looked down to see Lightning still kneeling in her same position, her eyes carefully hidden away by her bangs. Seeing her mouth drawn in a firm line caused Hope to bite his lip. He knew what she was doing. She was mulling over whether or not to address the elephant in the room and the young man was hoping to avoid it. He couldn't talk about it with her. It was something he had to handle on his own. No one could help him with it anyway. Telling her would only worry her and she might even think he was going crazy. Hell, he even thought he was going bonkers. But how was he going to get around this little issue? "Um... Light?"

She sighed and stood, still not meeting his eyes. "What's going on with you, Hope?" She was tired of it. All of the secrecy. All of the aggravating and emotionally exhausting events. She couldn't stand it anymore. Why couldn't he just tell her? How was she supposed to help him if he wouldn't tell her what was wrong?

Hope bit his cheek as he looked at her. He could see the weariness in her, the agitation at his constant evasion of the truth, but he couldn't tell her. He just couldn't. He thought it was because he was protecting her and also keeping his weakness from her, but maybe this just showed how truly weak he was anyway. "It's nothing I can't-"

"Nothing you can't handle? Well maybe I can't handle it, Hope!" Lightning's face turned from anger to shock at her words. She couldn't believe she'd allowed the words to slip from her mouth. It was so unlike her to even accept when something was bothering or hurting her, let alone tell someone else about it. Yet strangely, she didn't mind. "You're hurting and I just..."

A metallic taste invaded his mouth and he released his cheek from his teeth, realizing just how hard he was biting into it in his anxiety. "I know you want to help but... it's not that simple", Hope replied quietly, unsure of how else to answer her. "I just can't, Light. I can't go through it all again. Please don't make me." He squeezed his eyes shut as he heard his own words and how childish he'd sounded.

Lightning's heart ached at the pleading tone in his voice. Maybe this had nothing to do with her at all. Taking his hand in hers, she squeezed it. "Alright, I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me. We'll figure some way around this." Hope gave a small nod but refused to open his eyes in fear of whatever expression Lightning held while giving in. "C'mon let's get something to eat." She let him go and turned away to walk towards the door.

As he heard her foot steps, the teen opened his eyes. He felt a sharp pain in his chest as he watched her walk away from him. He had lied. He had lied to Lightning. His words had held some truth. It really was and would be extremely painful to talk about what happened to him, especially with Lightning of all people. But he could. He could do it, if it was for her. He could even swallow his pride if it meant assuaging her worries away. The young director kept his mouth shut however, willing himself to live in the wake of his lie, for he was convinced that telling her would do more harm than good. He was convinced that in the end this would be better for her.

Giving his head a slight shake, he followed the soldier out of the room. They were silent for a little while, a thick tension hanging over their heads. Lightning was busy beating herself up for trying to force the truth out of him. Hope was trying to pry his mind away from his conscience, his guilt rising by the minute. They entered the elevator and still didn't even look in the other's direction.

It wasn't until Lightning finally did as she used to do so frequently, before she'd allowed herself to become so emotionally dependent on a man, and severed herself from her emotions, that they picked back up into their usual selves. "So what's been going on with Cass?" It was something that had piqued her interest, even if she was mostly using the twerp as a talking point in an attempt at passing over their recent hurdle. She was trying to jump back into normalcy, or some form of it.

Hope's brow raised at her sudden question as he was startled that she was speaking with him. He had expected silent, soldier Lightning to have taken her place for a few hours, still stewing in her failed attempt at getting him to talk. But she wasn't. She didn't appear mad or distant, she was just giving up her endeavor in favor of making him feel better. And it only made him feel worse. Still, he was happy that she wanted to talk, and even a tad joyful that it was about something other than his predicament, so he was ready and willing to converse with her. To get back into their friendly conversations and witty banter that his days were filled with now. But how was he going to answer her question? It was a bit of a personal issue that Nivien and him had decided to keep between them unless things with Cass got too out of hand. And Kori was his sister so she was an exception. But letting Lightning in on Cass's problems, when he wasn't sure if his friend would want her to know, seemed like a bit of a betrayal. But he couldn't just tell her that. He didn't know how much more of his deflection she could take.

Making a decision, he pushed the button and stopped the elevator. Turning towards her, he saw her surprise and confusion in her gaze and faced it with stern seriousness. "I know things haven't been easy for you, Light... especially with my constant avoidance of your questions but..."

_How did my question lead to this? What does it have to do with me? _Her brow arched as she turned toward him, her arms crossing. She thought she was doing what he wanted and giving him space and time to deal with everything going on with him. So she didn't understand why he was bringing it up.

"I know over time you and Cass became friends but-"

Lightning snorted at his choice of words. "I wouldn't call us friends."

A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips before he disciplined his features into a determined expression. "Cass has a lot of issues."

_You can say that again._

"And I want you to be careful."

That was definitely not something she expected him to say, so she couldn't keep the shock off of her face at his wish. She knew the kid was a bit of a brat and had perverted tendencies but she never detected anything to be too wary of. Cass had never really given her any cause to be cautious around him, except for that smart mouth of his, but maybe she'd misjudged him yet again. Judging by Hope's look of dead seriousness, she probably should have paid more attention.

He wasn't surprised by her reaction. Cass was very good at keeping himself guarded and at hiding his private matters. But this needed to be addressed whether she would have found out or not. "I know you're not a person to be told what to do." He smirked at his next words. "Even though I very well could order you." Her scowl spoke volumes of her irritation with his words and the truth behind them, which only caused him to smirk further before carrying on. "But I would like you to stay away from him. He's dangerous. He welcomes death. I don't know what's been going on with him or what exactly it is that he's getting himself into but... Nivien and I are handling it best we can so... just please be careful around him and avoid him when you can, all right?"

It was a while before Lightning found her words. She didn't think the punk was really worth the worry but... _What is it that's so bad that Hope feels the need to worry about me? _"What-If you don't know what he's doing... then how do you know its... he's dangerous?"

The silverette shifted, his gaze still holding it's intensity. "His past excursions and little adventures. He's always wanted that taste of adventure, especially in the face of certain death. And since he feels he doesn't have anything to lose... His sister, Nivien and I always tried to keep him out of his habits of trying to get himself killed ... but with us all growing apart, I think he took it the hardest." His gaze wavered slightly as pain struck him. He knew what it felt like to be abandoned and he couldn't believe he'd caused that kind of pain in one of his oldest friends. "Just... please?"

Seeing the conflicting emotions play over him, the only answer she could find was, "Alright".

Hope smiled at the fact that it hadn't taken any heavy convincing or pleading, and pressed the button to continue on their way.

A smirk soon found its way to her lips as she glanced towards him. "I can take care of myself you know."

She tried her best to sound stern and cold, but he caught the amusement in her tone just as well. His smile only widened. "Oh I know."

* * *

"Hope", Arden squealed as they approached.

"I see you like this place, huh", asked Hope with a grin and a jab of his elbow to Lightning's side.

Lightning stomped on his foot rather harshly in retaliation. "Its been a while since I've been here and even longer for you, so I thought-" She thought with everything going on with him and the severe heaviness that had been hanging over them all day, that a trip to Jun's lovely eating establishment would cheer him up. And it would bring a smile to the face of a certain little boy who wound up cutting off her sentence as he slammed himself into Hope, squeezing him with all his might in a bear hug.

Hope chuckled as he ruffled the kid's blue-violet hair. "Hey, Arden."

Arden released him after a few more moments. "I missed you, Hope. Nana said you were away on a trip. Where'd you go for so long?"

A dark look came over Hope's features before it softened and he knelt down face-to-face with the boy. "Just a boring business trip. I'm sorry I had to be gone for so long. I missed you too, buddy." Hope smiled at him which the boy returned with his own wide toothy grin before hugging him again.

Lightning's lips couldn't help but to twitch upwards at the sight. She knew the boy cared for Hope a lot, but it was like they were close enough to be siblings.

"Where'd you run off to this time?" Jun peeked around the corner from her window to catch sight of them just a ways away. An expression of shock and happiness could be read on her face as she looked to Hope.

Arden let go of Hope and began bouncing up and down, pointing at his idol beside him. "Hope's here, Nana." He looked over toward Lightning, his excitement only growing, and pointed at her before looking at his grandmother. "And he brought the pretty girl with him too."

A gasp escaped Jun and before they knew it, she was rushing out the side door of the little bus, her eyes watery. "Oh dear, it's good to have ya back home." She embraced Hope as a few tears slipped down her cheeks.

"I think Nana missed you bunches too", commented Arden as he stared at the two and giggled.

The hug lasted quite some time and as Hope began to pull away she only tightened her grip around his neck, causing him to smile and let out a light laugh.

"Oh no you don't, mister. You go missing for so long and when you're finally back you don't even visit us? Very rude, young man. You will stay and receive your punishment."

Hope only laughed harder. "Yes, this hug is pure torture."

Jun slapped him lightly on the back for his smart mouth before finally pulling back, hands still holding his shoulders tightly. She looked him up and down, her eyes still shimmering with unshed tears. She could see right through his smile. All she had to see was his eyes, for his eyes held a tremendous amount of pain. "I-"

"It's good to see you too, Jun. I'm so sorry it took me so long to visit but-"

"Please." She wiped away the last remnants of tears from her eyes with her index fingers before straightening out the new wrinkles in his jacket. "You know you never have to apologize for anything."

Jun had always been like a mom to Hope, Cass and Nivien. Ever since the three had met her, she always gave them advice, consoled them, scolded them, and helped them in anyway she could, taking on the role as a mother to the three who no longer had their own. He wasn't shocked in the least by the waterworks or the hug that squeezed all the air out of him. The only thing that stunned him was his own tears he found he had to fight back. "Well, you know I'm still going to."

Jun chuckled at that. "Of course." She turned to Arden who was looking at the two with glee and Lightning who was looking at them with confusion. She didn't know the two were so close at all. "Hey Arden, why don't you give Lightning a little tour of the bus, okay?"

Arden's face lit up even more at the suggestion and looked up at Lightning while grabbing onto her hand. "C'mon Lightning, It's really cool."

The soldier's gaze flicked to Hope, seeking a way out. When he only shrugged his shoulders, she made a mental note to give him a good punch later. Kids were sweet and nice and all... they just weren't her thing. She could tolerate them, and when around them for short amounts of time, even stand to interact with them, but she just usually found herself uncomfortable in their presence. Maybe it was their unwavering trust in those around them, or the completely unguarded emotions children held and expected in return, or maybe it was the thousands of questions that slipped out one after another that drove her insane, but she never held much patience for them. Hell, she had little patience to begin with. She never understood how people could gush at any random baby's or kid's face. Serah had called her strange for it but, it was just how she was.

Even in the face of all this, she couldn't find herself being her normal cold self and turning down the bouncing boy before her. "All right", Lightning sighed. "Just stay out of trouble, Hope." She gave him a wary glance before being tugged off toward the vendor.

"Don't worry about it, Light", called Hope. He couldn't help but smile. He had been a little worried at first, unknowing of what she would say or do in the face of the kid. So seeing her allow herself to let her icy exterior thaw for Arden, was a rather heartwarming sight.

"Don't burn yourself again, Arden" yelled Jun.

Arden huffed in exasperation, as if that was an outlandish expectation. "I won't." He then turned to the young woman held in his firm grip as he skipped to the food truck. "I thought your name was Lightning?"

Lightning sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose as her arm was jerked about, being unsteadily pulled along. "Light's my nickname."

Before entering, he stopped and turned to face her, a bashful smile on his face. "That's a pretty name. Almost as pretty as you." Seeing her slight smile before she covered her mouth to muffle a chuckle, Arden carried on. "It's much better than Lightning. Lightning is sooooooo scary. And you're not scary at all. Light suits you much better. You're like a warm, guiding light, that heals and protects everyone."

She stared at the little kid before her and wondered about how much time the kid had spent with Hope. Her gaze turned a little downcast as well. His words couldn't have been farther from the truth. She wasn't a warm person. She wasn't even nice. And she failed horribly at healing people. All she usually did was hurt. "You don't even know me, kid."

He gave her his toothy smile as he swayed a bit, his hands clasped before him. "I see it in your smile. And the way you look at people. Like Hope."

Jun looked back at Hope when the two were no longer in sight, her eyes flooded with concern. He gave her a small, gentle smile, to which she shook her head. She didn't want to see his strong front. She wanted to know how he was for real. Her eyes looked him over once again, searching for any scrape or scar, but if she had heard correctly, she suspected she wouldn't find one. Eyes settling on his left forearm, Jun took it into her hold and gripped his sleeve. She glanced into his sorrowful gaze, asking for his permission, which he gave in a nod, before pushing it up. A gasp sounded from her as she saw the brand. She only stared at it for a few moments before she tugged his sleeve down, her head hanging low.

"It wasn't-" Hope winced and his brows furrowed as she smacked him upside the head, a stern look coming over her.

"None of that nonsense. What happened to you, dear? I thought the l'Cie stuff was over and... that thing was gone?" Her tone was gentle but still bristled with overwhelming worry and concern.

"It was. They found a way to bring it back." Hope bit his lip as he attempted to cast away the memories that threatened to surface.

Growing curiosity getting the better of her, Jun continued her questions. "The people who took you, you mean? How-"

Hope held up a shaky hand as his gaze fell to the floor. "Please, Jun. I can't. It was-" He was cut off by another one of Jun's hugs that soothed some of his growing pain away.

"I'm so sorry, Hope. I'm here if you need me."

* * *

Zalera stood a little ways off, watching the two eat their lunch on the Academy base stone steps. She had been doing this almost every time Hope was out in the open. Watching, unknown, undetected, making sure he was safe, even though she was sure he couldn't be safer than with his pink-haired guardian by his side. _Lightning... a tough one for sure. I can't be sure of her emotional stability, she seems to block a lot of necessary emotions out, but physically... she's ready for any battle. _She stared at the two, warmth in her eyes. Watching Hope and Lightning sitting and smiling together, brought on fond times she had shared with Yeul.

It was wrong of her to expect that just by attaching herself to Hope's side and becoming a not necessarily unwanted but not needed guard to the kid, she could continue to live on easily. Hope was special and was a very sweet young man who deserved nothing but the best from the world. He deserved a simple life and she was determined to protect him so he could have it. But she had an unpleasant feeling sneak into her that she was somehow dishonoring Yeul and her memory by moving on to guard someone else._ No. _She needed to do this. She had to do this, not only to live but because Yeul would have wanted her to.

Hearing approaching footsteps, Zalera stiffened. As she evaluated the sound of the footsteps, the easygoing nature behind them, her nerves began to ease. They weren't a threat. But they _were _approaching her. Soon, a young man stood beside her. He wasn't much younger than Hope, but his attire was quite messy and by his posture, he seemed carefree. Traits that led her to a name she had heard around.

"So, you're Zalera", he guessed as his eyes caught her view, settling on her target.

Zalera smirked. "And you would be Cass." His eyebrows raised, questioning how she knew, as his eyes rested on her. "A few months in captivity with the kid-"

"Ah. What are you doing anyway? Don't tell me you've fallen for him too."

A snort left her as she shook her head. Her eyes now catching his with a dull look "Not quite." Cass tilted his head in a silent urge for her to continue. A thoughtful look took over her as she found herself staring at the two held in a conversation, oblivious to the onlookers. "He saved me. He saved me when he really shouldn't have. So now I'm going to watch out for him." She nodded to herself, reassuring herself that it was right. "Because I owe him that."

Cass contemplated this in silence. He found himself even more intrigued by the woman than he had been before. Glancing in her direction, he noticed her unwavering gaze was stuck to Hope. Cass didn't doubt her words for a second. But he did doubt her motive.

"He loves her, doesn't he", asked Zalera. She knitted her brow and cocked her head to the side, observing every movement in Hope's and Lightning's interaction. "I got a strong vibe when he would talk about her. And now, seeing the way he looks at her... it's damn obvious." A wry chuckle escaped her. "How she can't see it..."

Taking a moment to ponder the direction their conversation had turned to, amusement filled him. "I think she just... doesn't want to. But they'll figure it out."

* * *

It ate at her. No matter how much she tried to swipe the nagging thoughts and uneasy feelings away, she couldn't let it go. Things at lunch had gone well, wonderful in fact. Spectacularly, Hope seemed to be back to his same self and even now was quietly working away. _So why can't I just be grateful that he's alright right now? _

_ Because you know another episode is right around the corner..._

Running her hand through her hair, she tried to come up with ways to get him to open up a little more. She knew all too well what bottling things up did to people.

Lightning's eyes widened as she thought of what to do. _It had worked before with talking about our parents so... maybe..._ Clearing her throat loudly, she caught Hope's attention. Her purposeful, stern gaze held his until he set down his paper.

"Yeah, Light?" The young woman looked down at her feet, biting her lip and he could tell that she was coming up with some sort of battle strategy for tackling how to talk to him. _This isn't good. _

Letting out a deep exhale, she found the right words... the right story to get Hope to open up a little more and ultimately help her understand what happened to him and how to help him deal. Now all she had to do was get the words out of her mouth. "I need to talk."

Hope's lips parted as he took in her sentence. Suspicion shot through him as he caught on to the fact that 'I need to talk' was really 'you need to talk and I'm going to find a way to get you to'. Like another challenge for the soldier to face and overcome.

"Please", asked Lightning, her eyes falling from his.

The slight plea in her tone had him up and sitting by her side in a matter of moments. "What about?"

Feeling the weight of his gaze on her and realizing how stupid she was at starting a conversation she wasn't sure she was ready for, she began balling her fist until it hurt. "I wanted..." She trailed off, finding the words harder to say than she'd imagined.

Seeing her curious mental struggle and the clenched fist that held her anxiety, Hope took her hand and drew it out of its ball. Stroking her reddened palm with his thumb, he watched a small sense of calm come over her.

Wordlessly, he managed to alleviate her growing nerves and fear in seconds and she envied him for that. _This is for Hope. _She said that to herself over and over, mostly focusing on the soothing circles he was running into her hand, and finding herself curiously wishing that they had no gloves on. "You're scarred, Hope." She didn't need to see his expression to know that he'd heard her low whisper. He'd stopped his ministrations on her hand the second the last syllable left her mouth. "Even if you look perfectly healthy, you're not." He began to pull his hand from hers but she latched onto it and squeezed it. "I know you don't want to talk about it but... it will destroy you if you don't."

A large amount of guilt, regret, pain and grief landed on him as she waited for him to reply. He struggled to find a response but he didn't know what to say or how to express anything he felt or if he even should. It was usually so easy for him to talk with her, but this... this was something he had no idea how to approach. He thought that they had passed this and that he would at least not have to worry about this conversation coming up again until after the next incident. But here they were. Annoyance struck him as well as he wondered why she couldn't just let it go. Why couldn't this be the one thing he was allowed to keep from her? He was ready to share everything else with her, every detail about his past and what made him him. Anything but this.

Hearing nothing but his steady breaths, she continued. Maybe, as much as she hated the idea of it, she was going to have to bear the brunt of the conversation. "I know what I'm talking about." Her hold on him tightened as she forced herself to face the things she'd shut away long ago. That past she'd shoved into a closet when she'd become Lightning. The past that Claire could no longer deal with. It was hard, but that hand she was holding was helping her through it. "When my mother died, Serah and I only had each other. I told myself that I was okay, that I could deal with her death for Serah. That I had to do it alone." She shut her eyes as she found them beginning to water. "I stayed strong and joined the Corps to help protect and provide for Serah. I forced myself through the motions of a perfect soldier, pushed myself through the grueling trials of boot camp, faced impossible drill sergeants and fellow soldiers who told me I couldn't make it, and became what I set out to become. Lightning." The name came out with a bit more disgust and hatred then she'd intended, but that made her story all the more truthful. For although Lightning had been Claire's savior, she had also led to her destruction. "She saved me from crumbling in the wake of my mother's death and from cracking under the new pressures weighing down on my shoulders. She was born of my self hatred and my endurance to achieve what Claire couldn't. Lightning helped me... for a while."

Hope stared at the side of her head as she talked. She spoke with such uncertainty and yet, such strength that he found himself marveling at the woman beside him. She constantly surprised him with her actions, with her words, that you'd think his amazement of her would slowly diminish. But it didn't, instead it grew.

"Serah saw through a lot of it. She saw that I was hiding under the shell of this indestructible soldier girl. Day in and day out she would try to tell me to take a break... to take a breather. She tried to get me to talk but I just ended up shutting her out. I had nothing to talk out because I had shoved all of my feelings away. I denied their existence. I had decided that, as Lightning, I didn't need emotions. She was someone who could live without them and had no vulnerability." Drawing in a shaky breath, she opened her eyes, her gaze drifting over the room and its contents. "It wasn't until my first mission that I realized what a fool I was. Just because you push your past away, it doesn't mean it won't come back at you. And mine did, at the worst time."

Hearing the slight tremor in her voice, the young man slid his arm over her shoulder tentatively, and pulled her closer. Interestingly, she didn't draw away or bark at him. Instead she seemed to accept the new contact. A heavy silence fell and Hope wondered if she could handle speaking anymore. This was a lot of Lightning... no... Claire... that was slightly startling to see. He knew there was a very vulnerable, very scared girl hidden inside that battle hardened woman, but he'd never dreamed he'd get to see it. He loved how open she was being with him, but it came with a price, as all things did. He knew this all was leading somewhere. To a place he wasn't ready to go to or speak about. But he wasn't going to worry about that now. He was just going to pay attention to Lightning and devote every part of his being to listening to her words and comforting her as she said them.

"We weren't supposed to have to fight, it was just a routine perimeter check in the middle of the night. But... there was an ambush." Images assaulted her mind as she thought back to that day. All the images she could remember that is. The explosions... the bullets... the bodies... the eyes... "All I remember is seeing my fellow soldiers go down beside me. I remember his eyes... the eyes of a man I hadn't bothered to know the name of because I had previously decided it was unimportant. But his eyes were now staring at the sky, soulless. His body was a mangled mess but.. I couldn't tear my eyes away from his own."

Her hand began to shake in his own which caused him to squeeze it tighter and draw her in closer. His chin rested on her head as she continued, his heart aching at her pain.

"I stared at his eyes... not because... It was b-because I saw my mother. It was all I could see... was my mother's dead eyes... Lost, dead, blue eyes staring at the ceiling while Serah kneeled at her bedside, screaming for her to wake up." Biting her lip, she cursed the first tear as it fell, but she kept going. _For Hope. _"I woke up three days later in the hospital with holes in my stomach and chest, a concussion, and a sobbing sister at my side. I didn't remember a thing passed that man's eyes. Passed her eyes. I still don't remember. All I know is that if I'd dealt with the pain of losing her, it probably wouldn't have happened. And then I wouldn't have felt so vulnerable for so long afterward. All I could think of as I was recovering was... what could have happened to Serah." She sniffed as she was steadily crying now. Trying to keep her voice steady, she marched on, as she always did. "And what could have happened if I hadn't survived. Even after I had healed and the marks were no longer visible on my skin, I could still see them... I could still feel them. The invisible and the internal scars were still very prominent. Yet still... in the face of all that, I denied my feelings, and those scars, and those demons of my past that tore at me at night. Because Lightning was invincible... and I was going to become her for-" And that's when her voice finally broke and she stopped, not wanting to fall apart in front of Hope, even though being in his arms felt like the safest place in the universe.

"Light?" They sat, quiet taking the room for a minute while he held her against him until she pulled away, bangs obscuring her expression from view.

"I don't want you to hide everything away, Hope. Horrific things happened to you and I know that it's hard to face them but you have to. It will make you better and safer and I'll feel less worthless and-"

He hugged her, effectively stopping her from spouting off more of her self loathing bull shit. "Stop, Light. You're not worthless. You're not." _You're not. _"You mean more to me than you will ever know and..." He swallowed, unsure of how she would take his words but he said them because he needed to. "... having you here means the world to me and no one could help me the way you do. Who knows what state I'd be in if you weren't here." Pulling her away so he could look into her eyes, he showed her his sincerity in his expression, while evaluating her face for how she was taking his words.

Shock was all that seemed to set in. It shouldn't have been so shocking. She knew he cared deeply for her and knew that he was extremely open and frank when it came to his emotions and caring about people, yet his words still shocked her. Maybe her presence was helping him but... that wasn't enough was it? Or was it just her?

"I can't... I know I have to talk about what happened, I just..." He had to say it. "I can't tell you."

And there it was. It was about her. He wasn't keeping it secret because he couldn't deal, it was because he couldn't tell her. It was because he didn't trust her. It was because she had abandoned him and she had shattered the bond they had held. It was her fault.

Regret soon came into play within him as he watched her face fall and as she wrenched herself from his grip. She stood and turned away from him. "No, Light, please-" He stood and tried to touch her arm but she jerked it away. "I didn't..." _Way to put your foot in your mouth, dumbass. _"I'm afraid." If admitting it would get her to turn around and face him, if admitting it would get her to stop hating herself, then he would. "I'm afraid of what you'll think of me and I'm afraid that... that you'll only blame yourself more... if you know the truth." A last sniff sounded from her and for a second he thought that what he said wasn't going to be enough, but he watched her shoulders relax and heard her sigh. "I don't want you to tell me you won't place the blame on your shoulders and I don't want you to tell me that you won't think any less of me, even if those things are true. I just... please... give me time to tell you. I just can't right now." She turned to face him, her expression still surprisingly, incredibly vulnerable.

"Okay."

Walking towards her, he brushed his fingertips against hers and released a long waited breath when she grabbed hold of his hand. "I'm sorry about your mom and what happened. I know it must have been hard. We all deal with pain in different ways and... I guess... Lightning was your way to cope."

"Is", she whispered, her head still low.

"What?"

"Is, she_ is_ my way of coping. All these years and she's still holding me together." She let out a hollow chuckle as she stepped away from him. "It was my past. I just wanted you to know what can happen if you bottle your pain and emotions up. As long as you're talking to someone... I guess I can live with the wait." She put a hand on her hip as she smirked. _Liar. You know you still want to know. You know you won't be able to continue standing there watching as he has his episodes and wonder if knowing would allow you to help him through it. You're a liar. _

A harsh knock sounded from the door causing Hope to jump. He looked to Lightning to see if it was alright to let someone in. She composed herself and nodded. "Come in", called Hope.

Nivien stepped in, her eyes, holding frustration and worry, flitted between the two of them before settling on Hope. "I'm sorry... Director, but I need to speak with you. It's about Mr. Leonald."

He gave her a warm smile as he walked back towards his desk. "What's with the formalities, Nivien?"

The corners of her lips twitched upwards but she was determined to keep herself serious. "Sorry... Hope... but this is important."

"Okay. I was hoping you'd have found something out. Kori was asking about his recent activities earlier today."

"Well..." Nivien glanced in Lightning's direction and gave her a wary, impatient look.

Lightning could tell what the Lieutenant wanted, Hope alone to talk, and though she was loathe to give it to her, she did have something she wanted to do. She had one last person she could try to talk to. "Nivien, if you wouldn't mind taking my place, I do have something I'd like to accomplish. I mean you need to speak with Hope anyhow and if it's all right with you..." She looked to Hope who gave her a curious expression but gave her his 'permission' and Nivien gave her a silent nod in return as well.

* * *

Lightning stood against the wall outside of her apartment, thoughts still enraptured in her previous conversation with Hope. Things had definitely not gone as planned and it irritated her to no end. Not only had she not gotten the desired information out of him, but she had gotten extremely and horribly emotional in front of him. Lightning groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose as her cheeks flared in embarrassment. That had definitely not been a part of the plan. But now at least she knew more of the reason why he was keeping it all so secret from her._ 'I'm afraid of what you'll think of me and I'm afraid that... that you'll only blame yourself more... if you know the truth.' _He was probably right in one instance, that she'd still blame herself even if she knew everything. _But how could you ever think that I'd think any less of you, Hope? _

Even with Hope's pleas for her to wait and his explanation as to why he wanted her to, she couldn't stop her burning curiosity. She _had_ to know. She was so close to him yet she felt that this secret seemed to force a wall between them and she couldn't stand it. If anything, she was his guard. She needed all the knowledge she could get in order to properly protect Hope. How else would she be prepared enough to protect him? And so, she was now turning to her last resort. The only other person who knew what happened in that Ark other than the dead l'Cie fiends and the poor girl buried out in Harleen cemetery. The Pulsian woman who was still such a stranger to Lightning. Zalera.

Zalera approached Lightning who was standing against the wall by what she assumed was the sergeant's apartment and had frustration and aggravation evident on her face. It was extremely odd that Lightning of all people requested to speak with her. It was even more peculiar that this conversation didn't involve Hope. "Hey, sorry it was such a bother to get ahold of me. I still don't quite know how to work this thing." She briefly held up her comm before placing it back in her pocket. "So what was it you wanted..." Pushing off from the wall, Lightning took out her key and opened the door, holding it open for Zalera to enter. Seeing as the soldier was no longer obscuring her face with her hand, Zalera could clearly see that she had previously been very upset to the point of tears. It wasn't terribly obvious. In fact it seemed to have been a while ago by the faintness of the signs, and Lightning did pretty well at hiding her emotions, except that temper she had. It was the slight redness that rimmed her eyes and the subtle puffiness beneath them that gave her away. To avoid risking flaring that temper that Lightning had though, the warrior sharply halted her observations and walked into her room.

They sat in silence for what appeared to be a few hours but was instead a few painfully awkward minutes. Lightning wasn't sure how to talk to the woman beside her and she wasn't sure of what she would say even if she did. She was tense at best, as well as extremely disappointed and disgusted by her previous actions of falling apart just twenty minutes earlier, so she wasn't exactly in the best mood for chatting anyhow. But this wasn't something that could wait. This was her last chance to find some answers and she'd be damned if she wasn't going to do this now. "I wanted to ask you some questions..."

The tone was the first warning sign, then there was the sinking feeling in her gut. Zalera had a sneaking suspicion as to what this was about, but she wasn't angry, upset, or scared. Actually, she was rather curious as to why it took so long for the girl to come to her.

"It's about the Ark. What happened in it to be more specific." Lightning stood as she inwardly fought the shakiness in her voice. _A nervous and emotional wreck already. And the conversation has barely even started-_

"I'm afraid I can't help you." Zalera crossed her left leg over her right and sat back, trying to ignore the look of disbelief on the girl's face.

"But you haven't even-"

Zalera looked deep into her icy blue eyes, wanting to make her point so they could move on and not have to have this topic come up again in the future. "I figured you'd wish to speak with me about it sooner or later. Especially since Hope's clammed up about it. And I've considered telling you even. Of course I won't. But I did take the time to consider what I would say." Lightning looked like she was ready to gut her, and she couldn't really blame her for that. The soldier really cared for Hope and would of course want to know the vicious details of what exactly happened to them, or him really.

Lightning sneered at the woman's words and crossed her arms, ignoring the slight magnetic pull towards her gunblade that her fingers felt. "Why of course?"

"There's many reasons really. One is that you don't have any right to know what happened to us. You think you do but you really don't." Lightning bared her teeth at her to which Zalera gave her a dull look of defiance in return, not intimidated in the least. "Second is that if Hope doesn't want you to know, then going behind his back and finding out anyway is a betrayal of his trust. I thought you cared for him, but if your going to do something as low and despicable as that..." A growl sounded from Lightning as she was most likely ready to rip the Pulsian's throat out. She didn't meet the snarling woman's eyes however as she was too devoted to getting her point across. "Three, you wouldn't want to find out from someone else, not deep down. You may want to know but what you really want is for Hope to tell you. As much as you feel the need to know the gruesome details of our torture, this is really about the fact that it's killing you that he's keeping something from you. And last but most certainly not least, you are being selfish. You're asking me to recount Hope's, mine, and most horrifyingly Yeul's torture just to tame your curiosity." Zalera's face contorted in pain and disgust as she turned to face the girl before her.

Lightning stood shocked, and pissed, but mostly shocked. It seemed Zalera knew every bit of her true motives for her curiosity, even when Lightning hadn't known why she'd wanted to know so badly herself. Not completely anyway. Still she wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of knowing that. Clenching her fists, she bit her lip as she struggled to swallow the warrior's harsh and intuitive words, and find a way to still convince her. She needed to know at least something. Yes, she didn't truly have a right to know. Yes, it was terribly wrong of her to go around Hope, especially when he had asked her to wait and she had accepted. Yes, she would _much _rather hear it from Hope. Yes, she was being completely selfish in unnecessarily asking a torture victim the details of her days of captivity. But she was desperate. There was no other word for it. She was completely and utterly desperate. She'd be close to a mental breakdown if she didn't find out something soon.

With all of this in mind, Lightning came up with a battle strategy. She was still a soldier after all, and even off of the battlefield, things still sometimes called for battle tactics. Especially in handling a tough conversation with a strong willed and stubborn warrior._ This might take some emotion._ But just how much... the soldier was unsure. She knew this was going to take some begging and, Maker help her, pleading but she was going to have to "I know all of that and... I'm sorry. Maker, I'm so sorry but I can't keep going on this way. I'm.-I'm losing my mind worrying about everything that happened to him. And he's been dealing with it all on his own a-and not in the healthiest of ways either. I don't know how to help him but I think if I understood what happened-I'd be able to get him through t-his-s..." Lightning sniffed as she began to uncharacteristicly stammer and fumble with her words. _Was that a tear? _Apparently she was doing well at using her tactic of emotion but... she hadn't planned on actually getting emotional. "I just need to..."

She peeked through her bangs to see that Zalera's expression had softened but she was still not ready to relent. "Please, you're my last hope. I've done more than ask Hope. I even asked Amodar and Rygdea. Do you know how embarrassing and unbearably uncomfortable it was to ask the general, my boss? For someone like me? And still I got nothing." Lightning let out a loud sigh as yet another tear fell. "Amodar gave me a hollow smile. He said it was a private matter between him, Rygdea and Hope. That he wouldn't ever consider breaking the confidentiality. And from Rygdea-" A pained look crossed her features as she thought of the conversation. "I was met with a dark look and a pat on the shoulder. 'Some things are better unknown', he said. But I couldn't accept it, the not knowing, the tossing and turning at night, wondering, witnessing all of Hope's little episodes and being unable to stop them. I even went back a few days later and demanded to know. Threatened him with my fist... and my gunblade. He finally yelled at me. He said that he couldn't. Even if he wanted to... even if it wasn't a betrayal of Hope's trust... he could never bring himself to speak of it."

Watching Lightning's body begin to tremble, Zalera felt her resolve crumble. The soldier's stoic nature seemed to have fallen apart and she assumed that this was the Lightning that Hope had spoken so fondly of in the Ark. Although Zalera began to feel for the girl, she knew she was right. It was none of Lightning's business and if Hope didn't want her to know, then she shouldn't.

Lightning wasn't sure how to stop herself now. It seemed like her tactic was slowly working as conflicting emotions played over the green-haired woman's pale features, but she found that as her tears began to fall, this was becoming less and less of a tactic and more of a real reaction and more damn emotions. She remembered how Rygdea looked when he spoke with her that last time. His face was so grave and his words held such pain and anger. This only reinforced her worries of how bad things had been. "If he couldn't even talk about it then how-how bad is it really? I have to know. I-" Her words began to catch again and she held the back of her hand to her mouth as she attempted to calm down.

And as the warrior watched her begin to mildly hyperventilate, she found she could stand it no longer. This secret was killing the poor girl and if someone didn't tell her something, she was going to break. _But how can I tell her without betraying Hope? _

And then she figured something out. She could tell Lightning about her experience in the Ark. It would be telling her without really telling her. Plus she had actually been wanting to talk with someone about everything that had happened. Where Hope had opted to secrecy, Zalera wanted to let it all out. She wasn't really close to anyone to speak about her problems except for Hope but that would probably do him more harm than do her good. So maybe telling Lightning could help not only the deteriorating soldier but help her find a sense of closure.

Looking back up, she was relieved to find that Lightning was calming down and the tears were now becoming restrained. "Sit", asked Zalera as she gestured to the seat beside her.

Finally finding herself reaching some normalcy, Lightning shook her head. "I'm fine."

"Sit", Zalera commanded. If she was going to do this, it was going to be on her terms and the stubborn soldier act would only be irritating. "You're asking something of me... so you will sit."

Lightning glared at the woman for her demanding tone and the fact that she would expect her to just jump to her commands but she did have a point. She reluctantly sat in the seat with a huff and waited for Zalera to carry on.

Half smirking as the girl conceded, Zalera began to consider how to address Lightning's question. What happened in the Ark? "Rygdea is like a father to him, yeah?" Lightning glanced in her direction and nodded as she rubbed her cheek in frustration. "So hearing about everything Hope went through was probably difficult enough. Talking about it... saying it would probably be too painful for him."

Lightning lowered her head as she listened. She _had_ been quite selfish lately, asking such painful things from people. Even people she cared deeply for. _Hope..._

"I won't tell you what happened to Hope. That's something for him to share. But I can tell you about my stay in the Ark. Is that all right?"

Although it wasn't what she was looking for, it would lead to some answers. And it would lead to finding out more about the strange Pulsian. Two Zirnitras with one stone. Nodding once more, she sat back and allowed herself to relax as she was going to finally be able to know something about what's been happening to Hope.

Zalera nodded back. "As you may have been told, those... monsters that took us weren't after me. They only took me to make it easier to break Yeul." Her voice remained surprisingly steady and calm as she delved into her memories, but she wasn't sure how 'steady and calm' she would be by the end of this conversation. "When they came, we were all just sitting around merrily eating and laughing like fools, completely unaware of the impending attackers and our subsequent dark fates. Most of us were strong, experienced warriors and none of us even heard or noticed..." She shook her head at the shame and disappointment she still held for herself and fellow members of her tribe. "We were fierce and strong but we never stood a chance against their skillful magical power. Within minutes our numbers dwindled. I wanted to stay and fight on but... I had to protect Yeul. She was my priority. So I led her away and ran. As we retreated, we could still hear their cries. The guilt began to eat away at me until I could stand it no longer. I hid Yeul and made her promise me to stay. Then I ran back. I wanted to see if there was anyone else I could save. Even if it was just one person. Just one woman. Or just one child. But they were dead."

Turning her head to stare at the woman, Lightning found that Zalera had her eyes closed, her hands now firmly grasping her chakram. With her story, the pinkette wouldn't have been surprised to find her close to a breakdown. But Zalera held herself in a calm state, keeping herself just enough in reality to refrain from getting lost in her past.

"When I reached them, I remained out of sight, but I could see everything. My tribe was dead. Only seven were left kneeling in the dead's blood in front of Barsilisk. He was walking before them, watching them, asking them where Yeul was hiding. He even offered them freedom if they gave her up." Zalera's face scrunched up in disgust before changing to a proud smile as she carried on. "Even if anyone knew where she was, they would never tell. We all put her life above our own. Therefore I knew their fate before it even happened." She exhaled slowly, hoping to keep her inner equilibrium in tact. "I ran back to Yeul as I heard the survivor's final cries and Barsilisk yell to his men to fan out. I bolted toward her, praying she was still safe. I found her huddled in a ball right where I'd left her. She kept asking me question after question about our tribe but I told her to stay quiet. As I went to lead her away, to where, I had no clue, I saw the familiar flash in her eyes and she stilled in my grasp. I cursed Etro for her timing as I tried in vain to move her. After a moment, her vision was over but my worry upheld as a look of fear crossed her face and she whispered something to me."

"They're going to catch us."

"Before I could even react or think to reply, I was struck on the back of the head and was out like a light."

* * *

_Zalera awoke to Yeul's soft whimpers. The first thing she became aware of was the tight, rough cuffs that bound her to a stone table beneath her. She immediately struggled and writhed in vain. All she did was begin to cause the binds to rip into her skin. _

_ "Stop Zalera! It won't help." _

_ Jerking her head in Yeul's direction, her fear only increased. Yeul was tied up similarly to her right, a fresh bruise clinging to her cheek. Flaring anger coursed through her causing her to only struggle more. She was supposed to protect Yeul. How could she lead her into this? "Everything's going to be all right, Yeul. I'm going to get us out of here." She lied to her, unknowing that it was a lie for she thought, at the time, that it was the truth. She really thought that she could get them out. Because when it came to protecting Yeul, she couldn't fail._

_ Yeul nodded as a tear fell down her cheek. "Okay", she whispered with a small smile, knowing well what would happen to both of them. Etro had allowed her to see. She knew. Even if all she had seen was a glimpse, she knew what their future would hold. _

_ A new voice filled the room as a man descended the stairs. A man they would later come to know as Barsilisk, a leader of a band of barbaric l'Cie. "How sweet. It's a shame my wife couldn't be here. She always took more pleasure in this than me. I always found this as more of a job." A smile was present on his face, confident, yet weak. _

_ The first thing Zalera took note of, was the brand on his neck. This meant that their fate was most likely tied to some focus of his. "What do you want from us?"_

_ Folding his hands behind his back, he drew closer. "From you... nothing. But from her... she is everything we want." He closed in on Yeul until he was standing above the trembling girl whose eyes did not waver off of Zalera. _

_ The green-haired woman thrashed against her binds, feeling more furious and deathly afraid by the minute. "You stay away from her, you sick bastard", she snarled at the man. _

_ "You don't even know me."_

_ "You killed off our tribe, kidnapped us, and have us strapped to tables. In what way does that not make you a-"And that's when she felt all of the air suddenly slip from her lungs. She could no longer breathe and she found herself struggling for an entirely different reason than to escape. She needed to breathe. Since the man had his arm in the air, his hand in a gloved fist, it wasn't hard to find the cause. An interesting thing though was that it seemed he didn't find pleasure in harming Zalera as he was grimacing. _

_ "Stop! Stop", Yeul cried. Tears flooded her cheeks as she stared wide-eyed at her protector. "Please, stop." Her eyes finally met the man above her as she plead for him to allow Zalera the simple right of air. _

_Barsilisk obliged and released the warrior from his magic. He sighed as she took gulps of breaths and her body began to relax. He felt some happiness as he found that this task may be easier than he had previously thought. The guardian was an effective tool after all. "This will go much faster and be far less painful if you answer my question now. Where are the crystals?"_

_ Yeul swallowed. She anticipated the question thanks to her visions but it didn't make this situation any easier. For she also knew his next move when she would refuse to answer. "I can't. I won't betray the goddess. I won't betray the people of this planet."_

_ Zalera was momentarily confused until she remembered past conversations with Yeul about her visions. They were talking about the god's crystals. Crystals no one would search for with good intent. Yeul knew their locations and she wouldn't tell a soul... if she could help it. Before she could speak, a surge of thunder magic shot through Zalera._

_ "Are you sure?"_

_ Yeul looked into Zalera's pained eyes. "I'm sorry, Z."_

_ Mustering up her strength, she nodded. "I know." She understood. Yeul had a duty to Etro and to humanity. And Zalera had a duty to Yeul. She would endure, for her._

* * *

"It wasn't long after that when the torture started. It was mainly one man, Sebastian who would torture us. He would use his powers, weaker than Barsilisk's by far, but still very powerful. He shocked us, burned us... he enjoyed every minute, you could tell. His favorite times were when he wouldn't use his powers at all. He would beat us and strangle us and... The worst was when he would use the knives. He carved into us relentlessly and all we could do was scream." Rubbing her palm into her eye, Zalera cringed at her next words. "I could stand the torture. But I couldn't stand hearing her scream. Watching them do all of those things to her. I begged her to tell them. I wanted her to be free whether it meant her being released or even... but she wouldn't."

Lightning kept her head down as she sat there, taking it all in. The woman had been through a lot. She couldn't imagine being in Zalera's position if Hope had been Yeul.

"In the end, they won the battle and she gave them the information. I assumed it was after they had beaten me into a pulverized mess until I lost consciousness because when I awoke, she was gone and Castea stood over me, her grin wider than any I'd seen." Zalera opened her eyes and looked over to Lightning. "And soon after was when they brought in Hope."

The soldier shook her head slowly, trying to grasp at everything the woman had endured. "But-"

"No", spoke Zalera solemnly. "If it's about Hope, I can't-"

"What's going on with him now?"

Zalera released her grip on the chakram, her hand protesting its movement, and locked her hands together on her lap. "You mean when he tenses up and seems like he's somewhere else? When your voice can't even reach him and he seems to be filled with fear or pain?"

Nodding, Lightning added, "And how do I help him", while her eyes bore into the warrior's.

"It's most likely strong flashbacks. His mind is trying to deal and it may be hard for him to differentiate between his past in the Ark and reality."

Swallowing the information, she turned to the woman with one last question. She had many more but she figured she had already asked enough of Zalera. "How do you go on? How do you continue to live after everything that happened?"

"For a while I didn't know how to. I prayed for days after Yeul's death for something to end my suffering. But after Hope came and we began to depend on each other and I learned more about him, I decided that I would find a way to protect Hope and the crystals. I owed Hope for saving me and I knew he would need help with protecting the crystals from future evil beings." She cautiously cast her eyes over the girl's form. "I know he already has a protector but I thought... that it wouldn't hurt."

Lightning knew this was Zalera's way of asking permission. Permission to also remain as a guardian of sorts over Hope. She could see it in the warrior's eyes. See that fear that she may actually say no. That Lightning might take away her one reason to go on. But she would never do that. She smirked in Zalera's direction. "Hope can be a handful and I guess I could use the help."

* * *

"I still don't understand how he got this way." Hope stood with his side leaning against the wall, arms crossed. Nivien still wasn't completely sure what Cass was into but she was sure it was trouble. From his secrecy, to his avoidance of her and his astounding ways of losing her while she was tailing him, she knew he was up to something. And Hope was now only more frustrated.

Nivien stepped towards him until she was about three feet before him. "You said he was bullied before the fall?"

Hope sighed. "We both were. And I guess I get that he could be trying to prove that he can handle danger and bad guys now or that this could be entangled with losing his mom or even us but why can't he at least... I don't know talk to us about it? Or even to Kori? I just don't get it..." Raking his hand through his hair, Hope grew confused by his friend's silence and odd new expression.

Being so close to Hope after so long, Nivien couldn't stand it anymore. She wanted to be with him again. Even if he had broken her heart and blatantly ignored her afterward, she stupidly still felt the urge to be with him. As much as she cared about Cass and wanted to make sure he was okay, her diligence and determination in watching out for him, was mostly for Hope.

"Hope, I..." She drew closer to him as he came off the wall. Her hand reached up to caress his cheek, but Hope grabbed her wrist and stopped its ascent.

"Please don't, Niven." He pleaded with his eyes for her to stop. He didn't want to hurt her but he couldn't be with her anymore. He had never truly loved her the way she loved him, for he had found that he had, and probably always would carry a torch for Lightning. A terrible thought roamed into his head as he thought about his place with Lightning. He probably felt the same way towards Lightning that Nivien felt for him. And her reaction would probably be the same as his now, refusal to reciprocate.

Immediately backing away, she apologized and thanked the Maker when there was a knock on the door.

Hope sighed and gave Nivien an apologetic and sympathetic look before addressing whoever it was asking for entrance. "Yeah?"

Lightning came in a moment later and Nivien didn't waste another minute before saying her goodbyes and exiting. Throwing a questioning glance toward Hope, she found her curiosity growing as he just shook his head, wanting her to leave it alone. But she didn't let her thoughts remain on the lieutenant for long. Instead she turned her attention to Hope. There were still so many lingering questions that were begging to be answered but her thirst for knowledge about the Ark had temporarily been quenched. Her everlasting worry about him and his state of mind however, had only grown. So, determined to address the fact that she wanted to find a way to help him through whatever was going on in his head, she stood just a foot before him.

But as his eyes found hers, she found them staring at her in an intriguing manner. A way she had never seen the young man look at her in all her time with him. Before she could utter a word, Hope spoke.

"I want to thank you, Light. I want to thank you for being patient with me. I know I've been off since I got back but please know that my hesitation in telling you is not about you." Two seconds of her being in the room and Hope had practically read her mind. She was going to say something about wanting to help him through his post-torture problems whether he told her of his time or not, but she had already helped. "I know you want to help me through everything but you are already helping me. Just by being here for me and waiting for me to tell you. By allowing me that small amount of space while still staying close and watching over me."

Guilt. That was all she felt as she listened to him. Guilt. And a strangely warm sensation at the intensity of his stare and the strength and sincerity of his words.

"I could have never made it this far in my life without you. You know... when I was running here, with Zalera slowly dying in my arms, I began losing hope. I found myself floundering to stay strong and I was struggling to keep moving forward. I was losing my fight. My fight to survive. But just as I thought that I couldn't continue, I remembered something. I remembered the words of a very brave soldier and those words helped me move. They helped me find my way back here. 'Fighting without hope is no way to live, it's just another way to die_.'_" Hope bit his lip as Lightning stared at him dumbfounded. He didn't dare bring up the dozens of times he _had_ given up hope, given up life, and chosen death. The many times he'd begged for the sweet salvation. He would never tell her that. "You have helped me in more ways than you can imagine, Light."

Lightning swallowed. She was in complete awe at the young man before her and the fact that in a couple minutes of conversation, he'd managed to erase so much of her worry and fill her with such strange feelings. Her heart was beating a mile a minute and her stomach was doing odd flip flops. These sensations and feelings only increased as he gently took her forearm in his hand before placing his other hand on top of it.

All her previous talk of scars earlier had led him to thinking about the ones still very prominent on her skin. Having practiced with his magic quite a lot over the past two weeks, Hope was confident that at least his healing spells were up to snuff. So as he looked down at her left forearm, he decided it was about time to erase that burn scar that still lingered there from the day he went missing. He had wanted to heal it since he got back but he didn't want to hurt her by getting the spell wrong.

He smiled as the familiar green glow flowed from his hand and into her skin, taking the mark away with it. "There, that was never supposed to be there in the first place." Looking up back into her eyes, he saw her same stunned expression remained. He was a little nervous at her lack of response but was very happy she had yet to scold him for anything. So, with this in mind, he knelt down in front of her right thigh and repeated his process of healing her scars, these being the gargonopsid claw marks. And again, he healed another scar on her shoulder, caused from what, he didn't know. Only this time, as he drew his hand back, he found himself leaning into her and laying a soft, gentle kiss over the mark's previous spot.

Drawing back, Hope blushed. He wasn't sure why he'd just done what he did, he only knew he would probably be getting his lights knocked out in the next few seconds. Rubbing the back of his head, he chuckled nervously. "Sorry", he whispered.

Her mind was blank, thoughtless. She didn't even know what to think if she could. _Did he really just...? _She was completely unsure of how to move forward. Every cohesive thought was lost. As she had felt his lips on her shoulder, she had turned to jelly and her mind had turned to mush. It was as if this young man had turned this strong, stoic soldier into a puddle on the floor.

As she stared at him, it was like she was seeing him in a new light. His wondrous words were still running through her mind. Her eyes were staring into his and she could have sworn that she'd never seen a more memorizing sight than those amazing emerald orbs. She could smell his fresh scent lingering in the air and it traveled straight into her heart that was now pounding so fast that she was sure she would keel over of a heart attack any minute. His touch had left her skin all tingly and warm, begging for his caress to return.

His face was only inches from hers now and as she noticed this, her gaze dropped to his lips. Lips that held such a perfect pout. Lips that were parted as if in an open invitation. Lips that had just been on her skin. Try as she might, Lightning couldn't tear her eyes away from those lips. They called to her. It was like a strong siren song played in her mind and drew her towards them. Before she knew what she was doing, she leaned in and brushed her lips against his.

It lasted all of four seconds before she retreated back quickly, staring at him with a shocked look he could have sworn mirrored his own as if she was just as stunned by her actions as he was. Their eyes were wide, their cheeks were turning a deep red, and their hearts had briefly stopped beating and functioning at all. It had caught him completely off guard and he couldn't seem to comprehend what had happened. Blinking, he struggled for a response that was just out of reach. Even the simple and usually automatic response of kissing back was eluding him. _She just... _As he began to finally come out of his stupor, he looked up just in time to see his door slam shut. Lightning was no longer standing in front of him. He had missed his chance to react. He had missed his chance to kiss her back.


	15. Clarity

**A/N: **_**Hey, this would be Spaz's, or I guess Skate on here, her friend. I'm Alex. She's been down with her chronic stomach illness for the past week or so. She asked me to post this for **__**her so... here I am. This chaps been done for a while but she hasn't been able to go near a computer to post. Her illness has me scared out of my mind so please, be wishing her well. And review please, she loves reviews. She's an epically amazing writer bu**__**t I don't think she trusts my slightly biased opinion. Also she was wondering if anyone would want a chapter in the future about Hope's past before Light woke up? It would be a bunch of flashbacks with things like him waking up from stasis, his first meeti**__**ng with Nivien, his past with his dad, more of his not-so-subtle pining for Light... I think it would be awesome, but naturally she'd like more than my opinion. I'm just a dumb guy right? Who needs my input? Anyway... later... I guess... Oh and the reviewe**__**r response was still done by her...**_

**Reviewers-****I hope you guys don't mind me responding to all reviews here, rather than PMing some. It's easier for me to reply to all of them together.**

**danielhappyg ( chapter 13 review) – Very happy you liked the chapter. And I know, I put Hope through such turmoil all too often. :( As for Castea, well...**

**The Light to all Fears – I love your reviews. I just had to say it. They're long and you always have such great input. As for Light seeing Hope's torture, that is a great idea. One I may have already considered and I may or may not be thinking of doing something along those lines ;) I hope this chapter is as good as the last one too.**

**unclejoex3 – Thanks so much. Both scenes were rather troubling for me. I wasn't sure how to have the Zalera and Light conversation go since their interaction has been minimal and this was their first real one on one, but I think it wasn't too shabby.**

**Guest – Aw, you're too sweet. I'm glad you're liking this so much. Yes, Nivien and Kori most definitely need to back off. Hope is Lightning's :D Emotional Lightning was very interesting and quite challenging to write but I hope I didn't do too bad. Though I was overjoyed to finally let them kiss, even if it was slightly less satisfying than imagined. Hopefully I made up for it in this chapter...**

**anon – Trust me, no one's been more eager to have them kiss than me. I've been wanting to give Hope his opportunity for months and look what he does... just stands there and let's her run off. Let's hope he takes your advice and goes after her.**

**Guest – Yes, bad Hope. Very, very bad Hope. And I know, I actually watched this happen to a friend once, it didn't turn out too well for him in the end. Thankfully, I've never been too stunned to respond to a kiss before. But have faith in our couple. Things might turn out all right.**

**Nightsparrow15 – You spoil me with reviews like this, you know? I'm seriously flattered. I'm overjoyed that you like the story so much even though the torture was a bit harsh. It wasn't pleasant for me having to write out Hope's torture. He has turned out to be quite the ladies man, hasn't he? But he only has eyes for Light :) I'm glad to hear you've taken a liking to Nivien. I know she's a natural rival to Lightning for obvious reasons but I hope to still keep her likeable. And yup, Hope has failed us all. Let her slip through his fingers. Major face palm on his part. Don't get me started on XIII-2. I can't even believe-no... just no. Too terrible for words. P.S. I like long reviews :)**

**READER– Good to hear this brought you so much happiness. I'll try to work on shortening the sad list.**

**Guest– Aww, you're making me blush. Very glad to know it's so wonderful.**

**LightningFanatic- I try to update as quickly as I can. But I shall try harder :)**

** Wee. doctor- Well, welcome aboard. Thanks :D **

**Ototoi no Asa- Super awesome that you're learning from my fic. Brings me joy. I wasn't actually planning on having Lightning ask Zalera about the torture but I had to have Light's determination lead her somewhere. And it allowed me to add in some of Zalera's past. Yes, let's hope Light doesn't run too far. Hope needs to do something ASAP. I'm ecstatic that you think so highly of the fic. As for the 95, yes it's my birth year, but no that's not the reason for it being in my penname. Trust me, It's not so much talent as practice :)**

* * *

The run from Hope's office to her apartment was a blur. Her shaky hands fumbled in her pocket for her key, her body and mind still in complete shock over what had just transpired. By the time she'd made it into her room, she felt like her heart was about to shatter. She couldn't begin to comprehend her own actions and how they had led her to such a state of devastation.

Her back slid against her door until she sat against it, her breathing starting to calm and her mind attempting to think. She ran over the span of events that had just previously occurred, paying attention to each tiny detail, each small feeling, so she could understand why she would make such a stupid, irrational move.

It was wrong of her, she knew it. Making such an impulsive move, free of thought, contradicted who she was and how she normally acted. But somehow she'd gotten so caught up in her odd emotions and every incredible thing that was Hope Estheim, that she couldn't ignore the need to be close to him. The need to feel his lips on her again. The need to feel.

That was it, she had allowed herself to feel, to get too close. And look what happened. Hope hadn't kissed back, not even a little. He made no move to reciprocate any such feelings and it confused her. Everyone had told her that Hope felt for her in _that _way. It made sense and had been evident in his actions. He was always there for her. He was always initiating close physical contact from hand holding to hugs. He'd said such amazingly sweet words and then... _He kissed my shoulder. What the hell was that about if not a sign that he held the same feelings? _Maybe she'd imagined it. Maybe she'd just imagined that wondrous sensation of his smooth lips on her skin. That was the only way she could rationalize his reaction to her rash actions.

Lightning shook her head as she tried to just forget about it. Maybe if she just laid the incident to rest, Hope would as well and they could forget the exchange ever happened. _No. He's probably __disgusted by me now. I mean how can I have feelings for little Hope? How could I have possibly wanted to taint our innocent bond that we share? Nothing can ever go back to the way things were. Not now that he knows that I... tha__t I know he doesn't... that I know how much I truly care for him... _There was no going back now and the realization of this began to cause the world to crash around her. This was exactly why she thought before acting. Moves like this ruined things, and she couldn't help but think that she had just ruined the best friendship she'd ever had.

As she delved deeper into her own self beratement and soon to be depression, Lightning found her thoughts lingering on the kiss. It had been a quick, chaste kiss, that could hardly be called a kiss at all, but it still astounded her. That kiss had been one of the longest, most terrifying, and most incredible moments of her life. In that moment, where her lips had felt the sweet friction against his warm, soft ones, it had seemed that time had stopped and those four seconds were reserved for them and them alone. She knew now, without a shadow of a doubt, that she cared for him as much more than a friend. And it crippled her to know that he didn't feel the same.

Sitting there, Lightning thought back in her life. She tried to find a time where she had ever felt this indescribable feeling. Only one time came to mind. She had been fourteen, just a few weeks before her mother had collapsed, showing her first signs of illness. It was back when she was still a kid, a lovestruck teenager to be more precise. Back when she was full of innocence and before death and war had had a chance to strip her of it.

His name had been Carver Eidleston. She had had a crush on him for weeks and one night, in the dog days of summer, he had kissed her. It had been her first kiss and was eerily similar to the one she'd just given Hope. Difference being, she'd kissed him back. Her first kiss soon turned into her first make out before her sister came out and interrupted. Serah was giggling hard and immediately started teasing her blushing older sister.

They'd dated for awhile, Lightning feeling like all was right in the world, that she was the luckiest person alive. That was before the night she'd come home from her second date with the boy and found her mother passed out at the bottom of their stairs.

Her mother was admitted into the hospital after that night and would soon never see the outside of those hauntingly white walls again. As she soon realized that she needed to take care of her sister and be there for her mother, Lightning broke up with Carver. She didn't need the distraction after all.

Lightning felt odd thinking about the boy now. It had been a silly teenage romance that had been such a miniscule part of her life. But he had been the only boy she had ever been close to. He had been the only boy she had let in. That fact had actually made him a huge part of her life. But even so, though her feelings for him at the time had seemed to dominate her world, she had merely been infatuated with him. Her feelings for Carver were nothing compared to her feelings for Hope. This was so much more than a little crush or a mere infatuation.

She should have learned from her experience with Carver. Guys had no place in her life, in her heart. All they did was mess her up, make her sloppy, and distract her. Who's to say that if she hadn't been so busy in her little teenage bliss that she wouldn't have noticed something wrong with her mother and have been able to prevent her death?

Standing up, Lightning pressed her fingers to her lips, still reveling in the lingering feeling of her's and Hope's gentle touch. She wanted desperately to escape this feeling of torment, to rewind and take back that kiss that would change their relationship forever. Yet, she didn't. That kiss meant everything to her now. It filled her with such joy and she wanted nothing more than to experience more kisses and more intimate things with the man that occupied her thoughts more often than not. But she couldn't. He hadn't responded. He didn't want to be with her. Simple as that.

_Maker, stop it, Lightning. You're a soldier. You're an emotionless, battle hardened soldier and no man can do this to you. Not even Hope. _As she began to finally fall back into her usual cold, collected self, she found her heart racing at the pounding on her door and the man just behind it.

Panting, Hope slid to a stop in front of her door, praying that she was there and hadn't run off somewhere too far away in order to avoid him. He needed to tell her, to make her understand his stupidity and how much he truly loved her even though he'd failed to show her proof of such feelings. Raising a gloved fist, he knocked tiredly on the door, having expended his strength in his mad haste to catch her. "Light?" _Please be here. _As he heard a small gasp from the other side of the annoying barrier, the young man found a smile creeping onto his face. "Light, please let me in." His key could open any door in the building, but as much as he wanted to bust right in and tell her of his undying love for her, he held himself back, granting her space and allowing her to make the decision of seeing him or not. Holding his breath for her to say something or make any sort of indication she'd heard and was processing his words, he bit his lip as his leg nervously began to shake.

Having not expected him to come for her, she'd let out an involuntary gasp but cupped her hands around her mouth as soon as the sound left her. As she heard him ask to be allowed entrance, she could hear the pleading tones in his voice. She didn't understand it. He didn't want to be with her so why would he run after her? Why add insult to injury? Seeing as she could still hear his ragged breath and could imagine that he wasn't going away anytime soon, she let out a resigned sigh. "What do you want, Hope?"

Hope cringed at the iciness in her voice but was slightly intrigued by the timidness that was present as well. "You know what I want. I want to talk. We need to talk-"

"Just forget about it. I don't know why I even-"

"Yes you do", Hope hastily replied, getting further irritated with the door before him as he craved to see her. He needed to speak with her face to face. He couldn't tell her through a door. "Light", her name fell from his lips in a pained whisper. "Don't do this. Don't be a coward, Farron." He smirked slightly as he could imagine her reaction to his words. He would probably pay for it later, but if it got her to open the door then... "You don't just kiss me and run away and pretend that nothing happened. That's not the soldier I know. The Lightning I know doesn't run from anything." He pursed his lips as he rested his forehead against the wood, his hands grasping the door frame at the sides of his head.

Lightning shook her head at his words as she choked on the fact that he really didn't know her at all._ Oh, how wrong you are. _Choosing to focus on the fact that Hope had mistaken her confusion, embarrassment, and shame for cowardice, she snapped at him. "You got alotta nerve saying something like that to me."

Chuckling softly before sighing, Hope's hands slid down to his sides before he stood up. "Please let me in." A few torturous moments passed where he had almost succumb to the depressing thought that he had screwed up in an unfixable way that would haunt him for the rest of his surely lonely and miserable life before her door opened.

Deciding to face him and get the answers she was seeking, she turned the knob and let the door open itself as she walked away to the kitchen, putting off looking directly at him. She heard him enter slowly, almost cautiously, before shutting the door quietly. Turning around, she leaned herself back on the front of the counter, eyes trained on the floor.

Seeing as she was avoiding his gaze, Hope went over to her but stayed a comfortable distance away, though his body screamed to touch her. He sat on the side of the couch on the arm rest, facing her. Biting his lip, he fought to find the words that should have come so easily, but clung to the unreachable recesses of his mind. Although he wanted to avoid sitting in what had to be the most awkward and uncomfortable silences of his life, he wanted to bypass the jumbled mess of an apology and confession that threatened to tumble out of him like word vomit.

Tapping her foot as her nerves and impatience began to get to her, she still refused to look at him. She was afraid of what she would see on him. Whether it be anger, pain, sadness, pity, she knew it wouldn't be good. Then there was the fact that she was completely uncertain of how she, mostly her body, would react to his presence if she chose to raise her eyes to the man before her. She didn't trust her own body now, especially after that little incident such a short time ago. But as the silence continued on, she found herself having to restrain her eyes from looking at him. _Okay, I opened the door. I let you in. Speak dammit before I- _She jumped slightly as he cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry."

It was a soft, barely audible whisper, but she'd heard it and still struggled to understand what he wanted. _That's your big explanation? Well... it should probably be me that clears the field. I am the one that... kissed you after all._

Sliding his hand down his face, he looked up at her, hoping to find his strength in those gorgeous azure eyes as he usually could, but they were magnetized to the floor. "Please look at me." He watched as she squeezed her eyes shut and her hands that were at her sides, gripping the counter her back was leaning against, grasped the wood tighter before she let out a slow steady breath, her gaze finally catching his with a blank look.

He smiled at her attempt to hide her inner thoughts and feelings from him. He knew her far too well for her mask to work on him now. Swallowing harshly, he readied himself for his next words and the reaction they would possibly get. "I love you."

She stared at him. The blank stare that remained caused him to wonder if she'd heard him. But soon her stoic expression turned to one of almost feral confusion. He waited for his words to properly seep in and for a response to come. When he was sure that he wasn't getting one, he rubbed his hands on his thighs while standing. Giving her a determined, yet gentle and tender look, he repeated himself, finding no other way to explain himself to her. "I love you, Light."

_ He... loves me? I don't... _Feeling quite overwhelmed by his words and this sudden turn in events, Lightning let out a shaky breath, unsure of what to say or how she should even feel. Yes, she had kissed him. Yes, she had expected some sort of immediate response other than his look of complete shock that she'd obviously mistaken for terror and disgust. But this isn't exactly what she'd had in mind. Truthfully, she wasn't quite sure what she'd expected, if she'd expected anything at all. Her kissing him, had just happened. It was a sudden action her body had forced her to make before her mind had had a chance to register what she was doing.

Of course when she had been freaking out mere minutes ago, all she could think about was the fact that he hadn't reciprocated and what that meant for their future as friends. She hadn't given any thought or ever entertained the idea of what it would mean if he had responded. Since he was now, in fact, confessing his love for her, this now left her with one dominating question. Where do we go from here? _I don't know if I'm ready... I'm not ready for this. _She knew she cared for him deeply and wanted to be with him in ways she'd never wanted to be with anyone before, but... _love...? Could I even..._

Her silence stretched on and almost completely unnerved him, but he continued, taking this opportunity to finally tell the soldier how he had felt for her for so many years. She had had enough courage to kiss him and he had been a complete dunce in letting his chance slip passed him. He wasn't going to waste another minute. He didn't want to freak her out and overload her with his feelings however. He had to find just the right way to phrase it. Unfortunately, Hope was finding this task to be extremely difficult in the face of this picture of faultlessness before him. "And I know that... it's... that's a bit much for you right now and I know that you're not ready for such a... commitment, but that's okay." As he continued with his words, internally terrified at her coming response, Hope slowly took her hands in his, noting the limpness in her digits, and laced their fingers together. Their gazes locked and he hoped that this wasn't too much for the soldier. "Just know that when you are, I am."

Heart fluttering at the contact and the way he'd so passionately and easily announced his feelings, Lightning fought to breathe. It was as if he'd waited forever to tell her. Chaos erupted within her as she pondered her next move. It was hard to grasp that this man, this sweet, gentle, caring man, this Hope before her, was in love with her. His lack of reciprocation before fell far into the back of her mind. Keeping her face carefully clear, she mentally cursed her treacherous body as her hands began to tremble in his.

"I figured this all out a while ago..." His expression turned sheepish, the words becoming much harder to release. "I'm ashamed to say it but I knew it even while I was dating Nivien."

Her brow furrowed while she finally found her voice, masking her curiosity in harsh indifference. "Knew what?"

The biting tone threw him for a minute, but he plunged forward anyway. As evident by the kiss, he now knew that she at least felt something for him, even if she didn't show it now. This was Lightning's way of dealing with things. He knew that. Finding confidence in the fact that their hands were still carefully locked together, he continued. "That I had feelings for you. Strong feelings and they didn't go away. I thought you know that I-I..." One hand dropped from her as he ran it through his messy argentate locks and his eyes lowered before lifting back to hers with determination. "...that it was just a crush since you were so beautiful and strong and I looked up to you so much that I... but no those feelings stayed and they grew. I just thought... that I had no chance. That you would never return them. I'd resigned myself to being your good friend but I knew that I could never deny how much I care about you."

Throat dry, Lightning tried to respond but couldn't, instead feeling a curious sensation like her heart thrumming harshly in her throat. This strange sensation was soon followed by another as she felt a serious warmth enveloping her lips.

He quietly gazed into her face awaiting a word, a gesture, a subtle facial twitch, but nothing came from the pinkette before him. Ignoring the gut-wrenching depression that threatened to tear him to shreds and the urge to run back to his office with his tail between his legs, Hope closed the distance between them. He muffled a small gasp from her as he sealed their lips together in a tender kiss and grasped her waist timidly in his hands.

On instinct, she went to punch him for the intrusion of personal space, only for her fist to quickly relax. This was Hope after all. How could she hurt him, especially when he was doing what she wanted? Even if she was loathe to admit it, this was exactly the response she desired, although a bit late for her taste. Her hand grabbed the collar of his jacket as her resolve melted and she kissed him back.

As her lips forcefully pushed back into his, Hope felt elated and overjoyed while taking in this enchanting moment fully. This should have been how their first kiss went, but at that moment, it didn't matter. He knew. He finally, truly knew that there was a chance for them to be together. He was older, stronger, far more capable of protecting her and making good on his promise. She was awake, no longer a crystal he frequently visited, but standing before him now, kissing him passionately.

Breaking apart from him while regaining her wits, she began worrying her lower lip. "This... isn't a good idea", Lightning whispered, her hand still clutching the fabric of his jacket.

A downtrodden look formed on his face as he fought against the disappointment and despair in favor of inquiring why. "But... Light... I don't understand-"

Taking a few steps away from him, she began listing off the many reasons forming in her head. "Well, there's the age difference... you're my boss... I have to focus on protecting you..." She began gnawing on her lower lip painfully before carrying on, her voice lowering into a whisper. "... I'm not fit to love anyone... You deserve... someone who can love you openly..." Her gaze fell away from his as she confoundedly continued to let the brutally honest words flood from her mouth. _Why can't I just shut up? _"... and... I don't want to lose you."

A small smile tugged at his lips, eager to make an appearance as he felt his chest swell. "Light", Hope cooed. "I'm only two years younger than you now." He chuckled as he took a step toward her. "I'm everybody's boss. Does that mean I have to be lonely for the rest of my life?" His smile turned into a grin while he continued to pick apart her meager excuses before getting to the root of her reluctance. He took another step toward her, her eyebrows twitching as he drew closer and her arms now folding sternly before her. "You can protect me and be with me too." Another step. "You are perfectly capable of love. You just have to allow yourself to." Another step and another twitch of the brow. "I know what I want, regardless of what you think I deserve. And I want to be with you." She grimaced as he took yet another step forward, placing him mere inches from her. He gently took a hold of her chin and tilted her head up to meet his gaze. He waited patiently to continue until her eyes met his, the sight effectively taking the breath from her. "You won't lose me, Light. I'm not going anywhere. You couldn't lose me if you tried." Prying her lower lip from her teeth, Hope sucked on it before Lightning pressed herself back into him, meshing their lips together and putting her arms around his neck.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, reveling in each others touch and the captivating sensation of their lips being locked together. Slowly and a tad reluctantly, Lightning pulled away from him, conflicting emotions dancing in her eyes. Hope heeded all the built up hesitation and confusion that still held her back from him. He wanted to continue, to just ignore her doubt in favor of enjoying the touch he'd waited for for so many years. Instead, he surrendered to her pause, stepping slightly away from her. He kept his gaze to the floor until he shook off the disappointment and replaced it with a small smile of contentment. "You need time."

Lightning kept her head down, her bangs obscuring her face from view. She couldn't control her stubborn emotions and thoughts that intriguingly hungered for him. Her fingers twitched in his direction, wishing to pull him back as he backed off, but she restrained herself. He was right, she needed time. She needed to figure things out because as it was, she wasn't sure of herself, let alone this new development in their relationship. She'd broken from the kiss because she needed to think. And even though Hope was being kind and gracious enough to allow her space, this only made her want him more. As much as she wanted to give in, she still felt a strong urge to resist.

"I can..." A sigh escaped him as he struggled with the words he forced himself to say. "You should take tomorrow off... and tonight as well. Just think about it... please?"

Her head snapped up at the hint of begging in his voice and she melted at the sight of the silverette's token kicked puppy look. _That's really unfair._ Lightning didn't want to leave him in the hands of some incapable sissies while she took time to think though. "And who will take my place?"

_She's really considering__ it. We might actually... _"I'll talk to Zalera or..." He was about to suggest Nivien until he remembered their earlier conversation. The soldier raised her brow, a cue for him to finish. "I'm sure Z won't mind."

Lightning sighed in response but silently agreed. She had just spoken with her and found that 'Z' was extremely dedicated to protecting Hope. Even though she had yet to see the warrior in action, from seeing her, speaking with her, and hearing about her from Hope, Lightning knew she was fit to protect him. It was only for a day anyhow. Until she could get her head on straight. "All right."

* * *

Zalera woke up to the unfamiliar sight of red fabric above her head. It was startling and unsettling at first until she remembered that she had spent the night in Lightning's new room in Hope's house while the soldier had opted to staying at her apartment. When Hope had asked her if she could take over for Lightning for the last of the night and the next day, she'd been suspicious. The two had been practically inseparable since he'd made his way back. Then that suspicion turned to concern when the girl wasn't even going to remain in the same house as him. Zalera contemplated why they were outright avoiding each other until she felt a tad uneasy. Maybe she shouldn't have told Lightning that story. If that was the root of this current problem, then she felt mighty guilty.

Meandering downstairs, she found Hope already up, dressed and in the kitchen, a cup of coffee lying in front of him on the counter. As she approached, she noticed that his vision was locked on his forearm before him. He held it in his other hand, the sleeve tugged down, leaving the skin exposed. At first, the green-haired woman thought he was staring at his brand, but it was the wrong arm and his gaze was transfixed by his wrist as he cuffed it in his hand's grip, circled by his thumb and forefinger.

It became clear after a few moments. He was thinking about the torture. The restraints that had held them down to be more precise. Taking a deep breath and realizing that he still hadn't noticed her presence, she gripped his shoulder, waking him from his reverie.

Jumping slightly at the feeling, Hope turned toward the other occupant of the room, visibly frightened. He relaxed as he saw that it was only Zalera. _Calm down. No need to alert her into all my crap too. _Allowing a polite, welcoming smile to cross his features, Hope ruffled his hair absently. "Hey, Z. When did you get up?"

Tilting her head slightly at him, the woman sighed. "Just a bit ago. Are you okay, Hope?"

"Of course. What would make you think otherwise?" Picking up his mug, he took a swift drink of it's contents before sneering at its bitter coldness and sticking it into the microwave.

Zalera shook her head before leaning her side against the counter. "You just seemed a bit out of it." The warrior yawned as she watched her friend's movements from the corner of her eye. "So... what's going on with the lightning bug?" She smirked at Hope's quirked brow and quiet chuckle. "I never did quite catch the details."

Snatching his cup out of the microwave, Hope brought it to his lips before pouring the coffee down the drain and leaving the glass in the sink. "She just needed some time to think about some things."

"I guess it was about time for the little firefly to take a break anyway." She scratched her head a bit before following Hope out of the room.

"You really don't know the 'firefly', huh?" The young man laughed briefly before turning toward Zalera. "You should get dressed, we have an exciting day to get started on", he spoke, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

* * *

It was tiring, but that was what she was aiming for. She'd been at it for a good few hours now. Lightning was currently taking out all of her frustrations and flustered emotions on the training dummies in the room. She had tried to sit and contemplate her feelings and recent situation with Hope, but it just wasn't working out. The soldier wasn't one to stay stationary, she had to _do_ something. But Hope had been right about space. Even though she wanted to protect him and have that continual assurance that he was safe, she did need to have the proper time to think things over.

So now, she was training. She was exhausting herself physically by releasing all of her built up tension, and mentally and emotionally by considering how to move forward with Hope. Just thinking about him and yesterday's events caused her cheeks to flush and her heart to beat wildly. Which in turn caused her to grit her teeth, tighten her hold on her practice weapon and slam it harshly into the dummy, effectively getting the blade stuck in it's poor foam side all the way to the hidden inner pole.

An amused snort brought the young woman out of her thoughts. She turned to find Rygdea chuckling silently to himself behind her. "Well, looks like somethin's got your panties in a twist." Walking towards the scowling soldier, the man smirked as he tapped the flat of a training sword against his boot. "Care to share, princess?"

Lightning scoffed as she jerked her weapon free. "Beat it."

The Calvary leader only smirked further. "Train then? One on one?" His grin widened as Lightning stopped walking away, seeming to consider his proposal. "My usual training combatant isn't available so the position is open for today."

The pinkette entertained the idea for a moment, finding the idea of fighting and no doubt beating the man without the threat of punishment incredibly tempting. "And who deemed you a worthy opponent", Lightning jeered.

Rygdea rolled his eyes at her response, her mockery completely predictable. "La Salle and I usually train together in the morning. It's her brother's birthday however and she... well... it just made his absence all the more real and-" The man nearly fell to the floor after Lightning lunged toward him with her blade aimed for his chest and he caught her weapon with his own, unbalanced on his feet.

She smirked as she saw just how caught off guard he was as he held her attack. "Expect to have your ass handed to you then."

* * *

Hope stared outside of one of the many Academy windows, eyes glossing over the city as his mind was still trapped in his possible future with Lightning. He had just come out of a meeting where he had handled some sort of affair with ease even though he had hardly been able to pay attention. As evident by the fact that he couldn't for the life of him remember what the meeting had been about or who had been involved, even though it had only ended just moments ago.

But could you blame him? Being with Lightning had been a dream of his for years and now it seemed much less like a hopeless fairytale and more like a possibility. Even after everything that had happened, all that they had been through, he may finally get some happiness.

He tried to not get his hopes up. He knew how tough this decision would be for the soldier and how likely it was that she would say no. _In fact, there is probably a ninety-five percent chance she'll say no and it's stupid of me to even think that she'd ever say yes. Why would she wan__t to be with me anyway?_

The silverette couldn't help it though. He loved her. He loved her enough to tell her so. At least, when it all was said and done, he'd know that he gave it his all. The decision is now completely in her hands. This realization caused Hope to inwardly groan. It was hopeless.

_How did this happen? _That was a silly question. He knew exactly how it happened, when he first began to realize he felt more for his mentor than he should have.

* * *

_Hope lay on his mat, the cool Pulse air dr__ifting over him. All the others, save Lightning who stood watch, were asleep. Even in his tired state he couldn't sleep for his dreams were still dominated by his mother's death. He kept his eyes closed tight however, feigning sleep. Lightning had been on __his case lately about not getting enough rest. He protested to which she responded with a glare accompanied by a growl. He shivered inside but stood his ground. When she brought up how useless he'd be in battle with the lack of sleep, he conceded. So it'd __been the same since. For the last few nights he'd pretended to slumber, not only to keep out of arguing with Lightning, but to make her happy. Or happier at least._

_It had been a couple hours to his estimation since they'd gone to bed. As he slowly began __to drift off into the horrors his mind would throw him into, he heard quiet shuffling. Risking a peek, he saw Lightning standing over Snow, her back toward him. Opening his eyes fully, the boy saw that she was slowly and stealthily going through a pocket i__n his coat. After about a minute, she stood with an appeased sigh. _She found what she was looking for I assume. _Lightning turned to look over the others. When her azure orbs flicked over to Hope, his eyes were closed, back 'asleep'. Hearing her retreating __footsteps, Hope grew curious. However, he didn't dare look until he was sure she wouldn't see him. Hope opened his eyes to find the soldier nowhere in sight._

_ He wanted almost desperately to know what she was doing, where she'd headed off to. But should h__e risk it? If she found him awake and worse, snooping around in her business, it would not end well. For him and their friendship especially. He stood up ready to find her but paused in his first step. _Is it worth it? _He'd grown fond of their whole gang, b__ut Lightning was his mentor, his idol, his... goddess. As childish as the thought was, and as utterly embarrassing, it was true. She was like a goddess in his eyes. A divine being that could take on anything. A force that had no worthy opponent. Hope shook__ his head knowing those thoughts shouldn't exist at all. Mustering up his courage, he walked on, following her tracks._

_ It wasn't long until he heard soft whispering. Her back was toward him, thankfully, as she came into view. She was a little ways off but__ he didn't want her to see him if she happened to turn around. So, he hid behind a tree. _Yup, still hiding. Like the little kid I am. _Leaning closer, but still out of sight, Hope noticed she was holding something in her hand. She seemed to be talking into __it, so he strained his ears to listen._

_ "You know it wasn't only that but I-ugh this is stupid. Moronic actually. Talking into a crystallized teardrop? For the love of Etro, I've gone insane. Of course your hero and the rest of the _l'Cie _are too", Lightni__ng snorted and turned. Hope could now see the side of her. As obvious by her conversation, she was speaking to Serah's teardrop. "I'm struggling, Serah."_

_ Hope's brow furrowed as he took in those words. They held such emotional weight. Not only the words,__ but her tone and her expression._ _It was so new to Hope. Such despair and sorrow from Lightning of all people. Yes he'd seen her look a little lost and sad before, back in Palumpolum but this... _This is different. _He knew there was a softer side to her, a __side she reserved for him and him alone, but there's a difference between kindness and vulnerability._

_"I thought I could do this. We're heading to Oerba as I'm sure the lughead's already told you. But I don't think it's..." Her tone turned to frustration__ as a tear fell down her face. "I just want to save you, Serah. Why-" She choked on her words, a sob forming that she was refusing to let burst from her __lips. The young woman remained quiet after that. Small tears fell and multiple sniffs and whimpers sound__ed from her as she tried to keep composure, most likely for the sake of her sanity and in her own denial of the act._

_ Hope stared, mesmerized by the shaking form before him. Never had he seen such emotion, such vulnerability from the woman. As he watched her slowly breaking down, he realized just how wrong he was. She wasn't some indestructible, unstoppable soldier. She wasn't a machine, uncaring of the world around her. She wasn't some goddess high on a pedestal out of anyone's reach. She was a person with her own troubles and sorrows. She was human._

_ Before, she'd appeared to embody the definition of strength, ferocity, confidence, everything he'd wanted to attain. This Lightning was shocking but not unwelcome. This was a piece of her. No doubt a deep one. Probably the one that Serah knew. Maybe this was the real Lightning. The Lightning that wasn't Lightning at all. And even in this broken state, she couldn't have been more beautiful._

* * *

Zalera watched him from not far down the deserted hallway. Hope had been quite quiet and seemingly withdrawn throughout most of the previous meeting, while still managing to appear focused on the task at hand. She was concerned to say the least. Saying nothing while he stared silently out the large window for fifteen minutes and during the hauntingly quiet walk to his office, Zalera found she couldn't stand to let this continue. It wasn't any of her business but she felt the need to interfere.

"I need to speak with you." Hope casually looked up at her from a paper he was looking over. Zalera tried to smile through her uneasiness, but feared that it may have turned out looking more like a grimace. "I think I know why Lightning's been so distant." Her gaze turned to the floor as shame coursed though her. This whole space thing between Hope and Lightning was undoubtedly her fault and she needed to find a way to mend it. If Hope knew what was troubling Lightning, maybe he could help her understand and it would get Hope to finally open up to the soldier. _A win win right? _"She was... w-was so desperate. I... I couldn't say no."

Alarms. Multiple alarms sounded off in Hope's head as he heard Zalera's words. "Couldn't say no to... what?"

"I told her... what happened. She was just so upset and lost and I just..."

Hope began to slowly rise from his chair as he could see just how guilty Zalera felt and he was slowly piecing together just what Zalera could have told Lightning that would make her so on edge. "You told her about-"

"About what they did to me." The young man's eyes widened but Zalera shook her head while trying to explain that she hadn't betrayed his trust. "Not you. What happened to you is for you to tell. Not me."

Inwardly panicking, Hope cringed at what Lightning could possibly know now. He wanted to keep it from her but it appeared that everyone just wanted to ignore that wish. "But our-our tortures were so similar. You basically told her what-"

Zalera did feel guilty but she still felt justified. She hadn't given up anything about his time in the Ark, only her's and Yeul's "I purposely told her what happened to me. Okay? I couldn't... I'm allowed to say what happened to me right? I mean, I was tortured too."

Hope heeded the anger in the other's tone but this news was devastating. He could imagine how Light would handle the details. Biting his lip, Hope fought the urge to be there for her, because he was supposed to be giving her space. "Oh Maker, Light."

"I'm sorry Hope. I know I shouldn't have and I knew it was basically just the same. I don't know I just-she was so... She begged me, Hope." The warrior walked toward him as she tried to explain why she had felt that she'd had no other option. "She knew you weren't going to tell her and it was driving her insane. Her imagination was running rampant. I thought that maybe I could give her a little solace. Maybe what she knows now is worse or better but at least it's solid. Not the bunch of different versions she was coming up with but the real... I'm sorry, Hope. I thought that this would help not... I didn't know that she would-"

"It's not your fault", Hope explained as he turned toward her. As he thought over the time line of things, the fact that Zalera had only been with him since he'd last seen Lightning, he knew that he'd seen Lightning since she'd talked to Zalera. Judging by how she was in his office, before the whole kiss thing, she'd taken it rather well.

Zalera's brow crinkled as she stood beside him. "But-"

"When did you tell her?"

"Last night."

Hope sighed but soon found a small smile gracing his features. "She kissed me. Last night. Right before I asked you to temp guard for me."

"That was shortly after I told her."

"Well that explains what she was originally going to say to me..."

She nodded. "But-"

Hope shook his head as he sat back down. "It's my fault too. Her sudden... coldness. She kissed me and I didn't respond."

This thoroughly surprised her. Zalera could clearly tell how much Hope cared for the girl. "But you love her", she stated as she sat on his desk beside him.

"That's why I went after her. It was sudden and I was too stunned, too shocked." Running his hands through his hair, he found himself sighing once more. "But I collected myself and I ran after her. I told her that and I... kissed her and I told her that I loved her. So now... I guess now she's processing all of it. And I don't know how to help her do so."

Smiling down at him, Zalera put a hand on his shoulder. "She cares deeply for you Hope. She kissed you." She chuckled as she imagined the event. The lovestruck Lightning kissing a stunned responseless Hope. "She kissed you first. That says a lot."

"I just wish that she didn't blame herself so much but-"

"Why didn't you tell her?" Hope looked up at her briefly before his gaze fell away. "About... everything."

The young director cringed as he squeezed his eyes shut. "I can't, Z. I can't face it all again."

"But that's not all is it? It's Lightning isn't it. You don't want her to feel worse than she already does. To blame herself more."

Hope's eyes shot open and looked at the woman beside him with wonder. "How-"

"I've been in your shoes." She stood and walked towards the nearest bookcase. Her hand lightly ran across the spines of some books as she continued. "It was the same with Yeul and her original Guardian. She didn't need to know the gory details of what happened to him. She blamed herself already." Zalera then turned toward him, a book in hand that she flipped through, her hands trying to preoccupy themselves. "I can understand Lightning though. If I hadn't seen what happened to Yeul... If I didn't know. I would have felt just like her."

"I wanted to protect her." He fisted his hand on his desk as he spoke with conviction. "For once... I wanted to protect her and not the other way around. But it seems that no matter what I do, she always ends up hurt."

Zalera slammed her book shut, drawing his attention. "She may be hurt but at least she has you." Taking in a steady breath she set the book down before going back over to Hope and putting her hand gently over his gloved fist. "Yeul's death broke me... shattered me. I'm irreparable. But you two still have each other. Only you can fix her and only she can fix you."

* * *

The two panted as they stood on opposite sides of the room. Both were exhausted as they were preparing for the umpteenth round. Their bodies ached for a break but both ignored their limbs' screams and cries. Lightning needed this release of frustration and tension, Rygdea could see it. Hell, he could feel it. And he had no problem helping her out. Even if she was unaware of his kindness. He had nothing to do with his time today anyway.

Lightning grunted as she went in for an attack, a heavy swing headed for his weaker side. The blade caught his heel as he jumped away. He swung back mid jump, hitting her in the shoulder lightly before she parried his swing quickly, soon back flipping out of his reach.

A tired smirk formed on Rygdea's lips before he stood and launched towards the pinkette. Their blades clanged together as they held each others attacks back, a battle of strength and will soon forming. After a few agonizing minutes, with their muscles straining and burning, Lightning's foot began to slide as her boot was losing traction. Rygdea soon gained the upper hand. With her foot slipping, her body was slowly lowering, her knee almost hitting the floor.

A second too soon, the elder of the two eased up quickly and swung low to deal his finishing blow. It wasn't low enough however, for as soon as his weopon left her's, Lightning ducked under his swing to deal her own attack. She lunged forward, sweeping Rygdea off his feet with her blade.

This move stunned Rygdea as he found himself hitting the hard floor. This, knocking the air out of him and leaving his weapon no longer in his hand. As his breathing reached normalcy, the man looked to where his weapon had run off to. His eyes zeroed in on it under his opponent's right foot, her staring at him with a look of satisfaction. "Okay, I surrender." He rolled off of his side, holding his shoulder as he'd landed on it rather harshly. "I concede to the Great Lightning Farron." Rygdea bowed before the victorious young woman as he chuckled.

She hmphed as she stood up straight, smirking at the man while wiping her brow. "It was a good fight", she relented.

"This is about Hope, ain't it", inquired Rygdea breathily.

Lightning wiped the sweaty pink tendrils of her hair out of her face as her jaw tightened. "I don't know what you mean", was her quick response. Turning away from him, she put her practice blade in it's proper place before moving to exit the room.

"Don't give me any of that. You're here practicing when you'd usually be guarding Hope. And you're an exceptional fighter, I'll give ya that, but there was some serious strength in those swings. You're angry about somethin'. You two have a fight?"

Rolling her eyes, she turned toward him. "My reasons for taking a day off and for how I spend them are none of your business."

He threw his own weapon carelessly off to a corner, knowing someone else would pick it up later, and rolled his shoulder a bit, trying to loosen it and relieve some pain. "It is if it has to do with Hope. I care deeply for his well being, both physically and emotionally. I've already explained so. I need to know... is something going on with him?" A look of grief and serious concern flashed over the young woman's sweaty features before disappearing, leaving an aggravated expression.

"He's very... he seems to be haunted by his torture. Which is no surprise but it's getting worse. He has these... episodes and I don't know what to do for him." She crouched against the wall as she let out a frustrated sigh.

This news worried the Calvary leader but he suspected that this wasn't what had the soldier leaving Hope's side. "And that's really why you're here?" His brow rose when he noticed her gaze burning a hole into the floor and a light pink dusting her cheeks. Some glee filled him as he thought about why the stern sergeant was blushing. "Or maybe you and he... shared a bit of a... heated moment?"

Lightning cringed as she could hear the devilish grin he was sporting though his voice. She glared at him but it did nothing to the expression. "Does everyone know about his affection for me?"

The man shrugged. "Don't blame the kid, he's got it bad. Plus, you and I both know he couldn't hide his feelings if he tried. An open book, as always. But you... I was kinda worried you wouldn't feel the same... or want to. Looks like I sweated for nothing." His smirk grew as he knelt beside the aggravated young woman and nudged her shoulder. "So..." He wiggled his eyebrows for good measure, enjoying making Lightning uncomfortable. Maybe it was because she was so worn down, but she seemed to be much more forthcoming in her current state. He had yet to be threatened and if that wasn't a sign...

At this, Lightning groaned. "If it'll get you to leave and never speak about this again..." _Maker, __why Rygdea of all people? _"I'm making my decision." The man gave her a perplexed expression to which she confoundedly obliged with an explanation. "Whether or not to... be... with him." She hung her head as he chuckled. He at least attempted to bite it back as his tongue was between his teeth.

"Here?" He gestured to the room. "Your making that decision while training? Well, I'm impressed that your at least considering it. I thought you would have flat out rejected him. Did he at least make a good case?"

She had to admit, he kind of did. His words, that kiss that felt so perfect, so right, that it was almost agonizing to pull away from, and then there's the confession. "He told me he loved me."

Rygdea whistled. "Man, that kid doesn't hold anything back. Shouldn't have expected anything less though. He is crazy about you. Has been for years."

"How have I been so oblivious to it then?"

"Well, in your defense you have missed out on five years of his life. If I'm correct, it was probably within those five years that he first came to realize that he cared for you so much. It just grew from there."

Leaning her head in her palm, she stared at the floor, taking in every scuff mark since it was last waxed. "Yeah, he did say something along those lines. But how did you pick up on it?"

Getting sore in his crouched position, Rygdea sat against the wall as he recounted the first time he became suspicious of the young one's feelings toward the soldier. "There was one night... Bartholomew had called me." The man grimaced as pain struck him. Just saying his friend's name made his heart ache. Almost as much as saying Cid's. He'd only managed to say his name a handful of times within the past six years, each time harder than the last. "He was concerned about Hope. He said his son hadn't come home for dinner but had called and said he was fine. Hope had said he just wanted some fresh air and time alone. But there was something in the kid's tone that had alarmed Bartholomew. He asked me if I knew if there was anything bothering Hope or if I knew where to find him. I said I didn't but offered to look." Rygdea remembered that night clearly. He'd been worried even though he knew Hope could probably take care of himself better than any other fifteen year old.

"After about an hour of checking the usual spots and his friends, I stopped and did some deep thinking. It took me a bit before I remembered something the kid had said earlier that week. Something about a certain soldier's birthday being that very day." A grin formed on his lips as he looked at the slightly surprised expression Lightning was trying to repress. "I knew then right where he was. He was in the stasis room... with his Light." Standing, Rygdea put his hand on her shoulder before she looked up at him. "And he was there that day every year after that."

Lightning watched Rygdea exit the room before she looked down at her hands. She ran over in her mind everything that had been said to her about Hope's interest and love for her, over everything he'd said. She thought about what he'd done for her, saving her, caring for her, giving her purpose. She thought about their interaction, holding hands, hugging, simple touches that sent shivers up her spine, kisses she found herself longing for. And of course, how she felt. Could she really try to love someone? Could they make it work with all of the obstacles in their way? Could Hope really be the one she gave her heart to?

Serah had asked her a question one day. _'Do you think you'd be happier if you found love, sis?'_ At the time, the question seemed so stupid, so pointless. The question had actually ticked her off in an instant. But that was mostly because she knew that Serah was truly happier. She had found love, or so Serah thought. That had been the root of Lightning's anger as she had sharply replied, _'Love and happiness are a joke.'_ Her sister had been so young, so naïve. But maybe that question wasn't as stupid as she had thought. Because even just thinking about Hope and the night before made her heart soar.

_No, I can't. It's just not right. _She couldn't love anyone. She'd given up love long ago, decided that all it brought was death and heartache. The only person she could love anymore was Serah, who was currently a block of crystal. She couldn't bear it anymore. She had enough of love and it's hurtful, terrible consequences. Lightning would only lose those she loved anyway. _What's the point? _

After battling with herself, going back and forth between yes and no, she'd finally had enough. _This decision shouldn't be this hard. If I really loved him, wouldn't it be automatic? Wouldn't I know that I love him? The fact that I have to decide should be answer enough. _A growl emitted from her throat as she found her chest tightening at the thought of saying no. Of giving up without even trying. But it would be for the best, right? For the both of them. She didn't want to hurt Hope after all. It would only be worse for him if she went into a relationship with him unsure of how she really felt.

With all this in mind, Lightning left the training room. She had made her decision. She had made her decision and would now tell Hope. She nodded reassuringly to herself, hoping that she wouldn't regret this in the future.

* * *

Hope was standing in the library, looking out the large window, staring at the scene. Zalera and he had just gotten back to his house twenty minutes before, Zalera quickly jumping in the shower. The young director was left to himself, his thoughts wandering dangerously. At first, as he'd done many times before, he thought of the Ark. Of Castea and his torture. He threw all that out of his mind, trying to cover them with a distraction. His work was a good one, but that only saddened him and frankly made him depressed. Before the Ark, his work had revolved around the crystal mission. His hope was so high that thinking about it now hurt him terribly. Then there was his other usual distraction.

_Light... _But even she was causing him such turmoil. It wounded him a little, that she needed so much time to think it over. On the other hand, he would have thought that she would have said no outright, gotten angry, disgusted or maybe laughed at him a bit, leaving him broken and incredibly emotionally marred.

A loud thump brought Hope out of his head. He turned as he thought it to have come from his dad's office. _It's no longer his office, Hope. It's yours now since... _Hope didn't allow his mind to continue that, only walked into the room, his eyes roving over it entirely, wary of any danger. He immediately noticed a book on the floor that had fallen from the shelf. Walking over and picking it up, he looked it over briefly. As he went to put it back, he was stopped by a feeling. It was like he was sensing a presence in the room with him. The door to his office slammed shut.

Hope immediately dropped the book, swinging around. His eyes widened as he took in the fact that Castea was on the other side of the room, directly across from him, very much alive. Her smile grew as she took in his frightened state.

"Hello, Hope", spoke a voice that had preoccupied his mind for far too long. Only this time, the voice wasn't inside his head.

He only stared at her, his eyes bugged out. Faintly, he heard Zalera call to him.

A chuckle bubbled up from her throat. "What's wrong, love? Not afraid of ghosts are we?"

He squeezed his eyes shut, willing her image to disappear, hoping it was just another horrid trick of his mind. But as he opened his eyes, her form was still before him, that eery smirk still present on her face. "No, you aren't real. You-you can't be. You're-"

"Please, death can't touch me." Her gray eyes bore into his as she waited for him to make a move.

Zalera called to Hope again, sounding more frantic. Hope could hear her approaching but for some reason, he couldn't find his voice to call out to her. The warrior finally found him but as she turned the knob, she found the door wouldn't budge.

Castea looked to the door with amusement. The girl was a pain but a pain that could be handled easily. She wasn't getting in until Castea allowed her to.

Yelling through the door, Zalera began slamming herself against it. "Hope, please, answer me! Are you okay? Say something!"

Coming to the realization that this was very much real, Hope decided he needed to quickly defend himself before she even had time to attack. He sent a powerful thundaga toward her but it only bounced off of her protect spell.

Shaking her head, the woman only smirked more. "You're strong, Hope. And getting stronger. But you're still not powerful enough to take me on, kid." With a flick of her wrist she sent a firaga toward the young man who had only had enough time to cast a weak shell before being hit full force.

He flew back into the bookcase behind him and fell to the ground. His consciousness was soon lost as he wondered where he would wake up this time.


End file.
